Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

a4l · a4l

Having re-reviewed some of the literature on family roles, I'm looking at some of my own traits. One of them is the inability not to take "failure" personally. That go to reaction of deeply believing that failing to foresee xyz caused the failure. It is really really hard to shake that beleif! I'm logi...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

OMG. My 15 year old son just opened up to me he is being bullied AGAIN at high school. (was bullied in grade school and had to move schools. Bulllied in Freshman year diffent kids/reasons. Now apparently all sophomore year.) He didn't tell me that anything had happened this year--I had no clue-...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Friday morning my BMF found his BEST ever friend DEAD!!!!! his friend/boss is writing to me on private messenger telling me about it, hinting about ME doing something, trying to find my NOW MIA brother who most likely is drinking his sorrows away... Its sad!! Terrible!!! I knew "Cliffy" for abou...

a4l · a4l

I felt the need to touch base with the literature available on the roles of family members in alcoholic families, ie: the hero, the scapegoat, the lost child, the mascot, the golden child, cheif enabler and addict. Reflecting on the nature of the dis-ease and it's rippling impact accross generation...

Lyne · Lyne

I would like to keep IAH's Joy Journal going. Can we have one for June? I just had joy with my puppy sitting on my lap and attempting to talk to me with noises and licking my face.

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, July 15, talks about practicing our program the best we can at the pace that is right for us. The author suggests not speaking harshly towards others. The writer suggests that a nonjudgmental, listening ear is a great blessing. Reminder: Today I will try to extend to my fell...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It has been a 2 year period of a LOT of growth for me, as well as having to do some hardcore growing up. It is a shame it didn't happen sooner however it is what it is. I have so much further to go without question and right now my hormones are doing me right with where I am at .. LOL. ANYWAYS .. I have a point .. L...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is all about what serenity means for us. So ma y times I have prayed the serenity prayer, as a mantra, to get me through something that felt like a challenge (a difficult student, running another mile, seeing the ex, etc). Todays page is a reminder that serenity...

WildFlower · WildFlower

I know this is a basic question, but these days every little thing that the pharmaceutical companies want to make money from is now called a disease, and then they can sell something to combat it and make a lot of money. I understand that some people have a predisposition to it, and for them to stop drink...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It will be a huge task for me but now that I am officially middle aged, I think it is time! It is mostly for me & I won't publish it! I guess I need to have some legacy by letting the good stuff come out! What do y'all think? Kathleen

Iamhere · Iamhere

Greetings all and apologies for the late post! I did not realize it was Thursday until I was headed to the wrong golf course....I struggle to know what day it is at times just because that's how life works for me! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about recognizing that our feelings are an importa...

Freetime · Freetime

The author of today's page in Hope for Today had a tendency to isolate because of their fear of not being good enough. One day, walking down the street, they saw a neighbor walking on the other side. They thought about shouting a greeting to the neighbor, but did not do it, and the neighbor turned the co...

Aloha · Aloha

I thought I'd share this as I'm pretty sure most here can relate. I hope you can see it. It's pretty funny, actually. This seems to be how my mind operates a lot of the time. Really it's my spiritual disease personified. I'm going through this period knowing truly that everything just IS and God's got eve...

andromeda · andromeda

Hi everyone! Quick question and this may trigger those who are sensitive to talk about drinking and stupid stuff that goes along with it. So, my bf and I were out with friends for dinner and lots of pool day drinking yesterday. He and I had a very drunk talk about our relationship and it didn't go the way...

lookingup · lookingup

know its been a long time since posted ,summer time has been hectic with saleing old furniture and replaceing furniture then projects out the wazoo. ive been slacking on my recovery work i feel it big time,trying to get it all back going again, i read in 1 of my daily about problems growing up in the a home...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I forget from time to time because I'm suppose to be the angry one that when I stop engaging with my XAH how much rage he is carrying. We have been split for 7 years now and divorced for almost 5 years and he is so angry. The problem is he takes this out on me not realizing it's really not "me" he's hurting. So...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello mip! Just back home today from 2 lovely weeks in the north woods. A very spiritual place for me, so I'm coming home feeling replenished and ready to take on a difficult summer (work related). I've set some boundaries over the years with aw that i decided not to enforce. She's relapsed several tim...

KitTev · KitTev

Hi there, Everyone. I'm wondering if this is an okay place for me to be. I don't have any family members or friends who are alcoholics, at least not ones who I know well or whose alcoholism has directly affected me. I have been looking for a 12-step group for a little while to help me cope with feelings of no...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author reflects on a problem that many of us have: as a result of living with the effects of alcoholism, many of us lose perspective on who we are and what we can and cannot do. We accept ideas about our own limitations that are not based in reality...

Mattie · Mattie

I thought this article, "How Secondhand Drinking Ruins Lives," reminded me of a lot I knew but haven't seen in the media, and also made me think a few things I hadn't realized before. Lots to think about, for me. Here are a few quotes: Last week, the Alcohol Research Group at the Public Health Institute i...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Posting for tomorrow for Betty! Tomorrow's reading discusses how our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that only half of the truth is real. Living with alcoholics, many of us coped with an ever-shifting situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minute to the next....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going on a journey these days trying to get out of self as much as I am able. I was doing a community project sorting different pine cones & talking about living in the same city that I grew up in. IT was fascinating for me. I needed to hear more about the town I was born in & lived in for a long time o...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 7/8, is a simple reflection reminding us that nature can help us live ODAT. The writer says that trees dont worry, ponds dont fret, and butterflies dont pry into others business. The writer says that all of creation is going about the business of living and we can do the same. R...

Riley3 · Riley3

Why is it around the holidays that the family falls apart? Everyones emotions are so out of wack? I just wish I didnt see what I see or hear what I hear! There is nothing I can do. I just let go, no arguments, and look the other way. Hoping the nightmare will be over! How do you get over that a person who just d...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

I am trying SO hard to not get pulled into arguments with my AH.Some days it feels so easy and other days it's impossible.He knows exactly how to push my buttons and then once he does he tells me I'm the problem because of my out of control behavior. I seriously can't take it anymore. I feel so bad about myse...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how many of us have felt like victims of the alcoholic behavior in our lives. Even into adulthood, while trying to show how successful and in charge we are, inside the scared out of control kid was there. I certainly remembered feeling like I was a victi...

Lyne · Lyne

. I have not been minding my own business. I am so tired of the alcoholic behavior. My spouse is either continuing to drink (which she denies) or is just a perfect dry drunk. In counseling last Monday I brought in an article on what is a dry drunk? And read excerpts to my spouse and the addiction counsel...

Whitsey · Whitsey

I'd like to begin by saying that my sponsor for the last 3 years has been great in so many ways but I feel like we've stagnated. It is very important to her that with all her sponsees that the first 3 steps be firmly established before moving on to the 4th and beyond. She eplained that her own experience with...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's author's defines detachment as "the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs." After years practicing Al-Anon, the author is able to empathize with someone else's pain without needing to remove that pain. Even when his alcoholic loved one does something wrong,...

Aloha · Aloha

I love Al-Anon and how it's taught me to practice the principles of the program in all my affairs. I'm just feeling proud of myself for speaking up for myself. Something that used to be very difficult for me, coming as a person who just wanted everyone to like her. Defending myself and my interests at tim...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I think I am asking for some ESH. A little back-story, as I don't post on here too much about my Ex. 1. Because he is my Ex, and 2. Because I try to focus on me now. Divorce was finalized last Aug. Ex spent a year in rehab and about 6 months in SL. I believe he got a place this past Feb (can't remember exact date)...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Tradition 3...The writer shares how comforting it is to be able to attend a meeting any place and any time, and expect to find no other affiliation promoted by the group. Members will not try to sell a religion, a treatment program, a therapy, a political platform, or anythi...

Aloha · Aloha

In my town where I first started my recovery journey, one of our meetings would always start off, after the standard opening, passing around and reading this pamphlet: https://al-anon.org/pdf/S25.pdf I'd completely forgotten about this pamphlet since I moved, as I've yet to encounter any of my l...

Elabella · Elabella

Hi everyone, Hope everyone is enjoying a lovely Sunday. Right now Im sitting on the boardwalk, looking at the beautiful sunset and scenery, enjoying my coffee and book. 30 minutes ago I was dealing with my AH in a fullon freakout session. My daughter went to her godmothers,( she knew what was happeni...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello mip! Today's reading from courage to change is about remembering that everyone is in the hands of HP. The author begins by describing how their group usually welcomes newcomers. It had been a habit that the group followed, not something they had taken a group conscience about. One evening,...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This from C2C. Edited because of time. I followed a sound in the wood.tying in vain to understand the child's words.when I spotted him. I realized why his words made no sense: why are you repeating the your ABCs? I asked. The child replied I'm saying my prayers. I couldn't help but laugh. Prayers all I he...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Boundary pushing ... lol .. it makes me laugh. I did wind up outside my hula hoop today and dealing directly with one of our amazing directors .. that consultant I posted about a while back decided to show his butt again. I really don't blame the consultant however I seriously wished when I approved...

WildFlower · WildFlower

I'm sick of dealing with people who make me the bad guy for what they caused themselves and then they lie about it

hotrod · hotrod

Thee C2C reading for Tuesday, July 2nd speaks about destructive behavior It points out that many of us identify with negative self destructive behavior such as procrastination . These habits cause us undue anxiety and pain but with the help of the program,-- steps and slogans we are able to s...

andromeda · andromeda

Hi all, I have a question about how to handle someone (a friend who's an acquaintance to some degree but a central part of my friend group). She can be very selfish and seems to think that everyone's plans should revolve around her. She got angry at me in front of everyone because I chose to leave a pool p...

Crau · Crau

The ups and downs of living with an active alcoholic brought me took my breaking point a few years ago. Broken promises, manipulations..most of you know the drill. I did what I needed, focused on myself and was so good with my boundaries (and thats a hard thing , let me tell you). Well 3 years later, trust...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 7/1, discusses the problem of having spent too much time feeling badly about who we are and what we have done. It takes time for doubts to fade and wounds to heal, but self-confidence can grow with practice. Suggestions made are to counteract negative thoughts with positive...

hotrod · hotrod

Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.https://stepwork.activeboard.com/t65670654/alanon-step-7-7-1-2019/...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how some of us have sought to fill voids in our lives (for love, attention, approval) with outside sources, such as food, other people, relationships. Recognizing an emptiness and then trying to fill it from the outside is a pattern that many of us have...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am feeling a little overwhelmed & am over-dramatizing as well. I haven't been sleeping as well as I would like to. I went over 24 hours the other day! I know that this isn't a fix me site. I just needed to share it because no one knows it but me. I guess the lights are on too long! Meaning that I spend too m...

DavidG · DavidG

This is something I have never done before- and strongly avoided. To post the same share, to two different groups. Stateside, I was alway impressed with the AA clubhouse concept- where everyone is together. last year I was in such a place in Eastern Texas... and also been to meetings in Rapid City,...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about focusing on ourselves. Some sentences really stood out to me: "I always felt my loved one's drinking was a terrible reflection on me, and I worried about what people thought." "His behavior is not a reflection of me, it's a reflection of his disease....

WildFlower · WildFlower

On March 4, 1980 my older brother, the guy who dabbed mud on my bee sting to stop the pain when I was four-years-old, shot and killed four of his neighbors with his deer hunting rifle. His actions nearly destroyed my family. Rather than delve into it here, I am providing a link to an article I wrote about...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Really struggling with appropriate boundaries with people who have zero boundaries. My parents have no boundaries, either one of them and it's interesting to watch the dynamic. I have spent a lot of time questioning over the past 6 weeks kind of what's wrong with me kind of stuff .. I'm referring to...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Tomorrow's reading is about sponsorship! The author shares that a new member called one day, and after chatting for a bit, the other person asked him to be his sponsor. After a bout of fear, self-doubt, and a subtle reminder that he was being asked to be a helper, not a savior, he accepted with humilit...

WildFlower · WildFlower

Is there a length limit to a thread I start and can I insert a link to something? Thought I'd ask first.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I believe that honesty is the way to go! I know sometimes that we tend to be brutally honest. If we are honest w/ ourselves first then to God it becomes easier. I try to practice honesty but sometimes I get caught up w/ doing things & living on egg shells sometimes that I have to be or am dishonest w my AH....

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello mip! Today's reading In C2C is one of my favorites. The author begins by saying that forgiveness can be a change of attitude. When the author first came to Alanon, they were filled with bitterness toward the alcoholic. In time, they realized that the bitterness was hurting themself more than...

hotrod · hotrod

Thee C2C reading for Tuesday, 6-25 speaks about denying our own feelings to keep the peace, . It points out that "willingness" is the finest gift we can give to ourselves. each meeting attended and alanon telephone call answered reinforces this willingness We can ask HP for he courage to stand u...

Aloha · Aloha

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/you-are-enough_b_7687616

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will only share some of my story but I can go on & on! I just want to say that I found Al anon just in time! I was led to Al anon by some very spiritual people. My first meeting was great. They used the One day a time book & later my mom bought me one. Now we have so many more devotional books from some diff...

andromeda · andromeda

So, at one of my bday parties this weekend I was talking to a much younger friend. She's 29 and I'm 49 now. I was complaining about my age and how my body is definitely feeling older. It takes me longer to recover from a hard workout session, my skin is starting to show that crepe-y look, I have lines and w...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 6/24, is about having the ability to change ones attitude. The author says that success and failure are a matter of perspective. Prior to alanon we knew great disappointment, and began to doubt our ability to change anything. We were unable to see the great successes we hav...

Aloha · Aloha

I was reading an interesting book when I cam across these questions which the author says he poses to himself each day: 1. What does this have to do with the agenda of my soul? (Before partaking in any activity, discussion, decision, etc.) 2. Is there any part of what I am now seeing "over there" that I hav...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about the different ways we may be able to work step 12. The writer describes a situation in which she helps an elderly person with a project; the connection with the older person and the hug they exchanged when it was completed meant so much to both of them. Whe...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Need some perspective. (Preview) Having re-reviewed some of the literature on family roles, I'm looking at some of my own traits. One of them is the inability not to take "failure" personally. That go to reaction of deeply believing that failing to foresee xyz caused the failure. It is really really hard to shake that beleif! I'm logi...	a4l	5	716	Jul 16, 2019 by a4l
	Teen having problems-- ia it due to AH? (Preview) OMG. My 15 year old son just opened up to me he is being bullied AGAIN at high school. (was bullied in grade school and had to move schools. Bulllied in Freshman year diffent kids/reasons. Now apparently all sophomore year.) He didn't tell me that anything had happened this year--I had no clue-...	Dancer66	7	1425	Jul 16, 2019 by canadianguy
	A Brother found our dear friend DEAD- Now hes MIA (Preview) Friday morning my BMF found his BEST ever friend DEAD!!!!! his friend/boss is writing to me on private messenger telling me about it, hinting about ME doing something, trying to find my NOW MIA brother who most likely is drinking his sorrows away... Its sad!! Terrible!!! I knew "Cliffy" for abou...	mamalioness	8	835	Jul 16, 2019 by hotrod
	Alcoholic family roles. (Preview) I felt the need to touch base with the literature available on the roles of family members in alcoholic families, ie: the hero, the scapegoat, the lost child, the mascot, the golden child, cheif enabler and addict. Reflecting on the nature of the dis-ease and it's rippling impact accross generation...	a4l	8	1726	Jul 16, 2019 by a4l
	Follow in IAH's footsteps--June Joy? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I would like to keep IAH's Joy Journal going. Can we have one for June? I just had joy with my puppy sitting on my lap and attempting to talk to me with noises and licking my face.	Lyne	57	5618	Jul 15, 2019 by Lyne
	C2C, 7/15 (Preview) The reading for Monday, July 15, talks about practicing our program the best we can at the pace that is right for us. The author suggests not speaking harshly towards others. The writer suggests that a nonjudgmental, listening ear is a great blessing. Reminder: Today I will try to extend to my fell...	Lyne	4	490	Jul 15, 2019 by El
	Pretty Excited :) (Preview) It has been a 2 year period of a LOT of growth for me, as well as having to do some hardcore growing up. It is a shame it didn't happen sooner however it is what it is. I have so much further to go without question and right now my hormones are doing me right with where I am at .. LOL. ANYWAYS .. I have a point .. L...	SerenityRUS	6	1838	Jul 14, 2019 by andromeda
	Hope for Today July 14 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is all about what serenity means for us. So ma y times I have prayed the serenity prayer, as a mantra, to get me through something that felt like a challenge (a difficult student, running another mile, seeing the ex, etc). Todays page is a reminder that serenity...	yanksfan51	5	346	Jul 14, 2019 by Iamhere
	Why is excessive alcohol consumption called a disease? (Preview) I know this is a basic question, but these days every little thing that the pharmaceutical companies want to make money from is now called a disease, and then they can sell something to combat it and make a lot of money. I understand that some people have a predisposition to it, and for them to stop drink...	WildFlower	36	3955	Jul 13, 2019 by DavidG
	really short! I am going to write my memoir! (Preview) It will be a huge task for me but now that I am officially middle aged, I think it is time! It is mostly for me & I won't publish it! I guess I need to have some legacy by letting the good stuff come out! What do y'all think? Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	13	2197	Jul 13, 2019 by Hoot Nanny
	C2C - July 11 (Preview) Greetings all and apologies for the late post! I did not realize it was Thursday until I was headed to the wrong golf course....I struggle to know what day it is at times just because that's how life works for me! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about recognizing that our feelings are an importa...	Iamhere	2	407	Jul 13, 2019 by Lyne
	Hope for Today, July 12 - Starting Over (Preview) The author of today's page in Hope for Today had a tendency to isolate because of their fear of not being good enough. One day, walking down the street, they saw a neighbor walking on the other side. They thought about shouting a greeting to the neighbor, but did not do it, and the neighbor turned the co...	Freetime	6	349	Jul 12, 2019 by DavidG
	That monkey mind (Preview) I thought I'd share this as I'm pretty sure most here can relate. I hope you can see it. It's pretty funny, actually. This seems to be how my mind operates a lot of the time. Really it's my spiritual disease personified. I'm going through this period knowing truly that everything just IS and God's got eve...	Aloha	9	3858	Jul 12, 2019 by lookingup
	DRUNK SPEAK and LOVe (Preview) Hi everyone! Quick question and this may trigger those who are sensitive to talk about drinking and stupid stuff that goes along with it. So, my bf and I were out with friends for dinner and lots of pool day drinking yesterday. He and I had a very drunk talk about our relationship and it didn't go the way...	andromeda	25	4074	Jul 11, 2019 by andromeda
	hi family group (Preview) know its been a long time since posted ,summer time has been hectic with saleing old furniture and replaceing furniture then projects out the wazoo. ive been slacking on my recovery work i feel it big time,trying to get it all back going again, i read in 1 of my daily about problems growing up in the a home...	lookingup	5	379	Jul 11, 2019 by lookingup
	Taking a moment .. (Preview) I forget from time to time because I'm suppose to be the angry one that when I stop engaging with my XAH how much rage he is carrying. We have been split for 7 years now and divorced for almost 5 years and he is so angry. The problem is he takes this out on me not realizing it's really not "me" he's hurting. So...	SerenityRUS	2	329	Jul 11, 2019 by SerenityRUS
	Sometimes there don't seem to be any good answers... (Preview) Hello mip! Just back home today from 2 lovely weeks in the north woods. A very spiritual place for me, so I'm coming home feeling replenished and ready to take on a difficult summer (work related). I've set some boundaries over the years with aw that i decided not to enforce. She's relapsed several tim...	Skorpi	13	4169	Jul 11, 2019 by Iamhere
	Hi Everyone (Preview) Hi there, Everyone. I'm wondering if this is an okay place for me to be. I don't have any family members or friends who are alcoholics, at least not ones who I know well or whose alcoholism has directly affected me. I have been looking for a 12-step group for a little while to help me cope with feelings of no...	KitTev	6	1975	Jul 10, 2019 by DavidG
	Courage to Change July 10 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author reflects on a problem that many of us have: as a result of living with the effects of alcoholism, many of us lose perspective on who we are and what we can and cannot do. We accept ideas about our own limitations that are not based in reality...	Skorpi	6	427	Jul 10, 2019 by Aloha
	How secondhand drinking ruins lives (Preview) I thought this article, "How Secondhand Drinking Ruins Lives," reminded me of a lot I knew but haven't seen in the media, and also made me think a few things I hadn't realized before. Lots to think about, for me. Here are a few quotes: Last week, the Alcohol Research Group at the Public Health Institute i...	Mattie	3	468	Jul 9, 2019 by Mattie
	Courage to Change 7/9 (Preview) Posting for tomorrow for Betty! Tomorrow's reading discusses how our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that only half of the truth is real. Living with alcoholics, many of us coped with an ever-shifting situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minute to the next....	Iamhere	5	432	Jul 9, 2019 by Lyne
	giving back to my community (Preview) I am going on a journey these days trying to get out of self as much as I am able. I was doing a community project sorting different pine cones & talking about living in the same city that I grew up in. IT was fascinating for me. I needed to hear more about the town I was born in & lived in for a long time o...	Hoot Nanny	1	1943	Jul 8, 2019 by Iamhere
	C2C, 7/8 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 7/8, is a simple reflection reminding us that nature can help us live ODAT. The writer says that trees dont worry, ponds dont fret, and butterflies dont pry into others business. The writer says that all of creation is going about the business of living and we can do the same. R...	Lyne	3	1917	Jul 8, 2019 by Iamhere
	Detachment and holidays (Preview) Why is it around the holidays that the family falls apart? Everyones emotions are so out of wack? I just wish I didnt see what I see or hear what I hear! There is nothing I can do. I just let go, no arguments, and look the other way. Hoping the nightmare will be over! How do you get over that a person who just d...	Riley3	5	1582	Jul 8, 2019 by SerenityRUS
	How To Stop Arguing (Preview) I am trying SO hard to not get pulled into arguments with my AH.Some days it feels so easy and other days it's impossible.He knows exactly how to push my buttons and then once he does he tells me I'm the problem because of my out of control behavior. I seriously can't take it anymore. I feel so bad about myse...	SunnyFrogs	33	3546	Jul 8, 2019 by SerenityRUS
	Hope for Today July 7 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how many of us have felt like victims of the alcoholic behavior in our lives. Even into adulthood, while trying to show how successful and in charge we are, inside the scared out of control kid was there. I certainly remembered feeling like I was a victi...	yanksfan51	4	2030	Jul 8, 2019 by DavidG
	I’ve been bad. (Preview) . I have not been minding my own business. I am so tired of the alcoholic behavior. My spouse is either continuing to drink (which she denies) or is just a perfect dry drunk. In counseling last Monday I brought in an article on what is a dry drunk? And read excerpts to my spouse and the addiction counsel...	Lyne	5	6141	Jul 7, 2019 by 2HP
	Sponsor question (Preview) I'd like to begin by saying that my sponsor for the last 3 years has been great in so many ways but I feel like we've stagnated. It is very important to her that with all her sponsees that the first 3 steps be firmly established before moving on to the 4th and beyond. She eplained that her own experience with...	Whitsey	10	5062	Jul 6, 2019 by Whitsey
	C2C, July 5 -- Detachment (Preview) Today's author's defines detachment as "the freedom to own what is mine and to allow others to own what is theirs." After years practicing Al-Anon, the author is able to empathize with someone else's pain without needing to remove that pain. Even when his alcoholic loved one does something wrong,...	Freetime	4	4626	Jul 5, 2019 by Iamhere
	Using my tools in every-day occurances (Preview) I love Al-Anon and how it's taught me to practice the principles of the program in all my affairs. I'm just feeling proud of myself for speaking up for myself. Something that used to be very difficult for me, coming as a person who just wanted everyone to like her. Defending myself and my interests at tim...	Aloha	5	2338	Jul 4, 2019 by hotrod
	Practicing the Pause (Preview) So I think I am asking for some ESH. A little back-story, as I don't post on here too much about my Ex. 1. Because he is my Ex, and 2. Because I try to focus on me now. Divorce was finalized last Aug. Ex spent a year in rehab and about 6 months in SL. I believe he got a place this past Feb (can't remember exact date)...	PosiesandPuppies	9	4302	Jul 4, 2019 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change 7/4/19 (Preview) Today's reading is about Tradition 3...The writer shares how comforting it is to be able to attend a meeting any place and any time, and expect to find no other affiliation promoted by the group. Members will not try to sell a religion, a treatment program, a therapy, a political platform, or anythi...	Iamhere	2	3391	Jul 4, 2019 by Lyne
	Did you grow up with a problem drinker? (Preview) In my town where I first started my recovery journey, one of our meetings would always start off, after the standard opening, passing around and reading this pamphlet: https://al-anon.org/pdf/S25.pdf I'd completely forgotten about this pamphlet since I moved, as I've yet to encounter any of my l...	Aloha	9	1082	Jul 4, 2019 by Elabella
	Moment of crisis... (Preview) Hi everyone, Hope everyone is enjoying a lovely Sunday. Right now Im sitting on the boardwalk, looking at the beautiful sunset and scenery, enjoying my coffee and book. 30 minutes ago I was dealing with my AH in a fullon freakout session. My daughter went to her godmothers,( she knew what was happeni...	Elabella	15	2712	Jul 4, 2019 by Elabella
	Courage to Change July 3 (Preview) Hello mip! Today's reading from courage to change is about remembering that everyone is in the hands of HP. The author begins by describing how their group usually welcomes newcomers. It had been a habit that the group followed, not something they had taken a group conscience about. One evening,...	Skorpi	5	656	Jul 3, 2019 by hotrod
	This is from June 30! (Preview) This from C2C. Edited because of time. I followed a sound in the wood.tying in vain to understand the child's words.when I spotted him. I realized why his words made no sense: why are you repeating the your ABCs? I asked. The child replied I'm saying my prayers. I couldn't help but laugh. Prayers all I he...	Hoot Nanny	3	1829	Jul 3, 2019 by Iamhere
	Same issue keeps popping up .. (Preview) Boundary pushing ... lol .. it makes me laugh. I did wind up outside my hula hoop today and dealing directly with one of our amazing directors .. that consultant I posted about a while back decided to show his butt again. I really don't blame the consultant however I seriously wished when I approved...	SerenityRUS	3	2772	Jul 3, 2019 by SerenityRUS
	Do you think that those who chronically drink too much believe their own lies? (Preview) I'm sick of dealing with people who make me the bad guy for what they caused themselves and then they lie about it	WildFlower	15	2712	Jul 2, 2019 by WildFlower
	C2C Reaading 7-2 (Preview) Thee C2C reading for Tuesday, July 2nd speaks about destructive behavior It points out that many of us identify with negative self destructive behavior such as procrastination . These habits cause us undue anxiety and pain but with the help of the program,-- steps and slogans we are able to s...	hotrod	4	1924	Jul 2, 2019 by El
	PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE GUILT TRIPPING (Preview) Hi all, I have a question about how to handle someone (a friend who's an acquaintance to some degree but a central part of my friend group). She can be very selfish and seems to think that everyone's plans should revolve around her. She got angry at me in front of everyone because I chose to leave a pool p...	andromeda	10	3036	Jul 2, 2019 by 2HP
	Just when you think “we got this”... (Preview) The ups and downs of living with an active alcoholic brought me took my breaking point a few years ago. Broken promises, manipulations..most of you know the drill. I did what I needed, focused on myself and was so good with my boundaries (and thats a hard thing , let me tell you). Well 3 years later, trust...	Crau	5	635	Jul 1, 2019 by Iamhere
	C2C, 7/1 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 7/1, discusses the problem of having spent too much time feeling badly about who we are and what we have done. It takes time for doubts to fade and wounds to heal, but self-confidence can grow with practice. Suggestions made are to counteract negative thoughts with positive...	Lyne	3	1999	Jul 1, 2019 by Iamhere
	Step 7 (Preview) Step Work BoardWhere we discuss each of the Twelve StepsIn the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.https://stepwork.activeboard.com/t65670654/alanon-step-7-7-1-2019/...	hotrod	0	401	Jul 1, 2019 by hotrod
	Hope for Today June 30 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how some of us have sought to fill voids in our lives (for love, attention, approval) with outside sources, such as food, other people, relationships. Recognizing an emptiness and then trying to fill it from the outside is a pattern that many of us have...	yanksfan51	6	310	Jun 30, 2019 by DavidG
	do I post too much or too often? (Preview) I am feeling a little overwhelmed & am over-dramatizing as well. I haven't been sleeping as well as I would like to. I went over 24 hours the other day! I know that this isn't a fix me site. I just needed to share it because no one knows it but me. I guess the lights are on too long! Meaning that I spend too m...	Hoot Nanny	7	1616	Jun 30, 2019 by WildFlower
	Learning to work the traditions... (Preview) This is something I have never done before- and strongly avoided. To post the same share, to two different groups. Stateside, I was alway impressed with the AA clubhouse concept- where everyone is together. last year I was in such a place in Eastern Texas... and also been to meetings in Rapid City,...	DavidG	5	3470	Jun 29, 2019 by DavidG
	C2C, June 28 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about focusing on ourselves. Some sentences really stood out to me: "I always felt my loved one's drinking was a terrible reflection on me, and I worried about what people thought." "His behavior is not a reflection of me, it's a reflection of his disease....	Freetime	6	413	Jun 28, 2019 by Iamhere
	My Brother Murdered His Neighbors murder alcohol prescription drugs failure of the medical profession (Preview) On March 4, 1980 my older brother, the guy who dabbed mud on my bee sting to stop the pain when I was four-years-old, shot and killed four of his neighbors with his deer hunting rifle. His actions nearly destroyed my family. Rather than delve into it here, I am providing a link to an article I wrote about...	WildFlower	16	4679	Jun 28, 2019 by WildFlower
	Just because .. (Preview) Really struggling with appropriate boundaries with people who have zero boundaries. My parents have no boundaries, either one of them and it's interesting to watch the dynamic. I have spent a lot of time questioning over the past 6 weeks kind of what's wrong with me kind of stuff .. I'm referring to...	SerenityRUS	8	631	Jun 28, 2019 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change 6/27 (Preview) Tomorrow's reading is about sponsorship! The author shares that a new member called one day, and after chatting for a bit, the other person asked him to be his sponsor. After a bout of fear, self-doubt, and a subtle reminder that he was being asked to be a helper, not a savior, he accepted with humilit...	Iamhere	1	366	Jun 27, 2019 by Aloha
	Is there a length limit? (Preview) Is there a length limit to a thread I start and can I insert a link to something? Thought I'd ask first.	WildFlower	15	2391	Jun 26, 2019 by WildFlower
	Honesty... (Preview) I believe that honesty is the way to go! I know sometimes that we tend to be brutally honest. If we are honest w/ ourselves first then to God it becomes easier. I try to practice honesty but sometimes I get caught up w/ doing things & living on egg shells sometimes that I have to be or am dishonest w my AH....	Hoot Nanny	2	3233	Jun 26, 2019 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change June 26 (Preview) Hello mip! Today's reading In C2C is one of my favorites. The author begins by saying that forgiveness can be a change of attitude. When the author first came to Alanon, they were filled with bitterness toward the alcoholic. In time, they realized that the bitterness was hurting themself more than...	Skorpi	3	918	Jun 26, 2019 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading 6-25 (Preview) Thee C2C reading for Tuesday, 6-25 speaks about denying our own feelings to keep the peace, . It points out that "willingness" is the finest gift we can give to ourselves. each meeting attended and alanon telephone call answered reinforces this willingness We can ask HP for he courage to stand u...	hotrod	9	479	Jun 26, 2019 by DavidG
	You are enough (Preview) https://www.huffpost.com/entry/you-are-enough_b_7687616	Aloha	2	4062	Jun 25, 2019 by PosiesandPuppies
	Some of my story... (Preview) I will only share some of my story but I can go on & on! I just want to say that I found Al anon just in time! I was led to Al anon by some very spiritual people. My first meeting was great. They used the One day a time book & later my mom bought me one. Now we have so many more devotional books from some diff...	Hoot Nanny	1	3773	Jun 24, 2019 by DavidG
	You're not old, you're just enhanced (Preview) So, at one of my bday parties this weekend I was talking to a much younger friend. She's 29 and I'm 49 now. I was complaining about my age and how my body is definitely feeling older. It takes me longer to recover from a hard workout session, my skin is starting to show that crepe-y look, I have lines and w...	andromeda	17	3004	Jun 24, 2019 by WildFlower
	C2C, 6/24 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 6/24, is about having the ability to change ones attitude. The author says that success and failure are a matter of perspective. Prior to alanon we knew great disappointment, and began to doubt our ability to change anything. We were unable to see the great successes we hav...	Lyne	3	3612	Jun 24, 2019 by El
	Questions to ask myself each day (Preview) I was reading an interesting book when I cam across these questions which the author says he poses to himself each day: 1. What does this have to do with the agenda of my soul? (Before partaking in any activity, discussion, decision, etc.) 2. Is there any part of what I am now seeing "over there" that I hav...	Aloha	7	1168	Jun 24, 2019 by Aloha
	Hope for Today June 23 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about the different ways we may be able to work step 12. The writer describes a situation in which she helps an elderly person with a project; the connection with the older person and the hug they exchanged when it was completed meant so much to both of them. Whe...	yanksfan51	5	1873	Jun 23, 2019 by DavidG
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.