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Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change 7/9


~*Service Worker*~

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Courage to Change 7/9


Posting for tomorrow for Betty!  Tomorrow's reading discusses how our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that only half of the truth is real.  Living with alcoholics, many of us coped with an ever-shifting situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minute to the next.  We often adapted by taking whatever part of reality suited us and ignoring the rest.  Over and over, we were devastated because reality didn't go away when it was ignored.

The reading suggests we must embrace life as a package deal.  We can't just look at the parts we like, we must face the whole picture so we can make realistic choices for ourselves and stop setting ourselves up for disappointment.  Sharing with others in Al-Anon about what is really going on helps us reduce our denial and anchor ourselves in reality.  While some facts are difficult to face, when we allow ourselves to confront them, we cease to give our own denial the power to devastate us at every turn.

Reminder:  I can't cope with something unless I acknowledge its reality.  When I am willing to look at the whole picture, I take the first step toward a more manageable life.

Quote:  "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.  Now put foundations under them."  Henry David Thoreau

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For me, having a sponsor and a 'tribe' of friends in recovery that I can be real with when needed has grounded me greatly!  When I am open, honest and unfiltered with the reality of my life, thoughts, feelings, etc. I find relief with whatever is troubling me.  Before recovery, I had tons of shame and great fear of 'letting anyone know my reality'.  Today, I know that anything/everything I experience is not unique, can be shared and is just a part of life.  I have a choice each day to focus on what's good in my life or what's less than desired. 

Focusing on what's good gives me gratitude and trust in my faith in the God of my understanding.  Focusing on areas of improvement gives me tons of practice in trusting that same God to give me exactly what I need when I need it.  I spent many years comparing my insides to others' outsides, wanting better, and today I am content and serene in knowing I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  I am where I am because I was given the gift of desperation, and the need for a better way to live.  Al-Anon and all who actively work recovery show me that better way each and every day that I participate and share.

Enjoy your Tuesday all - off to golf early in the morning - trying to avoid the afternoon heat!  Make it a great one!



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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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Good morning MIP! And thank you for your service, IAH!

As is often the case, today's reading is just what I need to hear. I have a habit of focusing on the positive, speaking about the positive, because I believe that what I focus on, I will get more of. Unfortunately as well, this approach can lead me to ignore the negative, uncomfortable, and unacceptable things. I've been making an effort to really face these parts of my life and my relationship, balancing awareness of the negative, a willingness to talk about what is really going on, with a focus on myself, what I need, what I am doing, etc. I'm continually thankful to this program for providing me a forum and group of people willing to share this journey with me. I learn much from reading the boards and listening in meetings.

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Skorpi

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu



~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you, IAH. This is a great read, indeed.

This also makes my grateful for my sponsor and the friends I've made in fellowship, with whom I can be honest and open. None of this hiding behind a fake "perfect" person who never has problems and always has everything together, or when she does have problems, she's only a victim. With Al-Anon I get to own ALL of me - the "good" and the "bad", and be real with others who do the same. It's refreshing.

The reminder takes me back to "Awareness, Acceptance, and Action".

Becoming aware and accepting what is current reality then gives me the power to start to change it for myself if I see fit to do so.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you Iamhere for stepping up for Betty!

Because in my core, I am a "glass is half-full" kind of gal, I work very hard at focusing on the positive. I too, believe that if I focus on that, more will come my way. Unfortunately, that can lead to ignoring the bad. Sometimes, these things can't be ignored, but must be addressed! I am working on the balancing act of life!

I am grateful today to be able to come here before I leave for work and get centered. Thank you MIP family!

__________________

"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 

El


~*Service Worker*~

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Hello MIP!

 

This is an interesting reading.  I tended to be a glass half empty person until I read all the self help books on being positive to attract positive outcomes.  I think then I did/have brushed off some things as not wanting to focus on them.....but.....at the same time, ignoring or allowing the unacceptable.  Striving for balance is tough.  I know that I have had to accept over and over that my AH's situation is what it is and my attempts to cover it up and pretend it doesn't exist ( public show) is futile.  The truth is he is deteriorating into his disease and only he can decide to get help for it.  He sees what is happening.....I know he does.....but I can't stop the process for him.  Mine and his reality isn't going away and I need to be 1000% truthful to myself about that.  While there is always hope.....I need to be truthful how debilitating it has become and how our lives have been effected.  I strive daily to make it the best day possible for myself, regardless of what is happening around me.

Thank you to all here!  This board is another layer of support and understanding on a daily basis.

Ellen



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~*Service Worker*~

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Thank you IAH for your service and your share. Practice, practice, practice. Yesterday I got triggered by my A and my anger went from 0-10 in less than a second. Started using all my tools and not to mention steps 1-3. By the end of the day I was calmer and more centered, and I have let it all go by today. The truth hurts but its better than pretend and denial. Because once knocked off kilter, with my alanon tools and family, I can be OK again. Thats the beauty of this program, Lyne

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Lyne

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