The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tomorrow's reading is about sponsorship! The author shares that a new member called one day, and after chatting for a bit, the other person asked him to be his sponsor. After a bout of fear, self-doubt, and a subtle reminder that he was being asked to be a helper, not a savior, he accepted with humility and gratitude. The author suggests that his Higher Power brings people into his life who can help him grow - this particular exchange was a prime example!
Reminder: Being a sponsor is as much a commitment to myself as it is to someone else. It is not a favor. Sponsorship gives me a chance to share intimately, to care, to practice detaching with love, and to apply the Al-Anon principles more consciously than ever. And, if I listen to my own words, I find that I usually tell those whom I sponsor exactly what I myself need to hear.
Quote: "Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think." -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Sponsorship to me has been an awesome way to expand my program. I love that this reading makes it clear that a sponsor is to help not save another. I am blessed that my sponsor has given me a shining example of how to guide, lead, nudge another and has never ordered me to be/do something beyond my readiness and comfort zone. Her style has helped me be a more patient, kind, loving person and sponsor to others.
I was once asked to sponsor another. While I was considering, the other member gave a list of 'requirements' for me including frequency of contact, necessary availability, etc. I knew immediately that I would not be a good fit in this situation. I fully embrace the concept that we are all equals and this relationship, like all others, should be about give/take and not control by either party.
I have fired sponsors in the past and I have been fired....As our program suggests, I do not take it personally. Recovery has shown me that I am responsible for my own recovery, my growth, etc. and if change is necessary for growth, I'm going to make a change!
Enjoy your day MIP family - tomorrow is a golf and softball day for me. So grateful that I am still able to be active and physical with a splash of competitive thrown in! Make it a great one!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Sponsorship has definitely been a gift in my life. I love and appreciate my sponsor and I feel the same about my sponsee.
One of the things I've been learning currently with my sponsee is to keep giving her to God. I remind myself each time I talk with her that she belongs to God and that her problems belong to God, too. This is helpful for me as I've then been remembering to put other people and situations in my life under God's care, too. My relationships belong to God and the other people I care about belong to God.
You are right and the reading is right - we're not sponsors to fix other people's problems. We're there to help others apply the Al-Anon principles to their lives through guidance and by sharing our own experience, strength and hope.
