The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 7/1, discusses the problem of having spent too much time feeling badly about who we are and what we have done. It takes time for doubts to fade and wounds to heal, but self-confidence can grow with practice. Suggestions made are to counteract negative thoughts with positive ones, for every defect we focus on we can list an asset, and at the end of each day we can reflect upon what we have the right to feel good about.
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Reflecting back, it seems as though I was addicted to beating myself up. The result of not being treated with respect left me not knowing how to. But I was great at demeaning myself in many ways for just about everything. My sponsor helped me tremendously by having me list an asset every single day. At first it felt impossible but over time I had pages and pages of positive things about me! I couldnt help but change my attitude about myself. So it can be done, but it takes time and practice. The end result is worth it, Lyne
Thank you, Lyne, for this reading. It reminds me what I love about this program. It is a gentle program once we really understand it.
When I first encountered the steps, the word that jumped out at me was DEFECTS! I felt resentful that I'd have to look at my defects -- because it was all "his fault" that I had to go to these meetings. I was surprised when my sponsor told me to first look at my positive qualities, and to be gentle with myself. What a concept! And I agree that it takes time and practice for old attitudes to change, but if worked on, they can change.
Something I am trying to overcome is the tendency to find it a weakness I have to ask for my HP's help. Why am I so unable to help myself? Isn't there anything I can accomplish without seeking help from God? I have to learn that this is a strength and a positive not a weakness and defect. Thank you for reminding me that I shouldn't beat myself up or consider it a defect that I am asking for help. I guess I can put that in the asset column for today.
Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily! Thank you to all who shared your ESH! I too came to recovery broken, and feeling like a failure for so many things! What I learned in Al-Anon is that there was a different way, a healthier way and it really starts with learning how to like and love myself. I absolutely love the reminder --- "Today I will make an effort to remember that I am a terrific human being."
Through practicing this program, I try hard to take care of me and put me first. I try to eat healthy, I try to sleep well, I try to pray often and focus on what's working in my life instead of what's different than desired/hoped. We talked tonight about how beneficial gratitude lists are which shifting attitudes and outlooks. So many simple tools that recovery gives to us can make huge impacts in big and small ways.
I found it kind of silly the first time I heard, "There is always hope and help in recovery." Now, I find myself saying it and writing it often as it's been my truth and experience. It really does help me love others better by learning to love myself! My Sunday buddy Joel suggests we all have 'favor' ---
"When we think of favor, we think of something good happening. We received a promotion. We met someone special. The medical report turned around.
We know that's the favor of God, but when we face difficulties, things aren't going our way, we're still taking the medical treatment, our finances haven't turned around, the promotion didn't go through, doesn't seem like we have favor.
We have all these obstacles, but having favor doesn't mean you won't have challenges. Favor is what's keeping those challenges from defeating you, and when you're in a difficult time, you may not see it, but favor is what's pushing back forces of darkness. Favor is what's keeping that sickness from taking your life. Favor is what protected you in that accident.
If you didn't have favor, you wouldn't still be here. The enemy would've taken you out. You may not recognize it, but you have favor in the storm, favor taking the treatment, favor dealing with another - the scripture says God's favor surrounds you. It doesn't come and go. It's with you in the good times and in the tough times."
I read this daily and do believe it! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
