The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about how many of us have felt like victims of the alcoholic behavior in our lives. Even into adulthood, while trying to show how successful and in charge we are, inside the scared out of control kid was there. I certainly remembered feeling like I was a victim of different results of alcoholic behavior. As a child this made a bit more sense, when I literally was not in control of my surroundings and things that occurred. But what I am reminded of on this page is that as an adult we do have a choice of whether or not we will be a victim or whether we might pursue our own recovery.
Part of this is realizing and accepting that I dont have to worry about what others are doing- I can pray for my own strength and know that I dont have to be passive about my life, or fearful. The thought for the day sums it up perfectly:
Acting like a victim is a choice, not a destiny.
Today I will work on paying attention to what is causing any hurt or fear, what I can do about it, and choose to move forward. Have a great Sunday!
Good Morning Mary, Love the statement:"acting like a victim is a choice not a destiny" Before entering alanon and picking up the tools like the Steps , I thought I was a victim because i was raised in a victim mentality. being able to find new constructive tools o live by made a dramatic difference in how i viewed myself and the world. Thanks for your service
A good reminder. Thank you Mary for your service, and both of you for your personal shares.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Happy Sunday MIP Family - thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thank you above me for your shares and ESH. I did arrive believing I was a victim of other people, this disease, my childhood, etc. As I worked this program as honestly as possible, the fog began to lift and I realized that I contributed to the chaos/drama around me and that I had choices all along, I just didn't have tools to know how to move forward 'properly'.
I emphasize properly as I had stepped away from family, friends, previous husband, etc. - all in the name of unforgivable offenses. What is different now - I have tools and support to face life on life's terms and find healthier ways to heal and deal. I don't have to permanently dismiss other people from my life to live my life today or 'run' as I used to do. Today I know how to detach, set healthy boundaries, avoid controlling/crazy people/behavior and live authentically and with courage.
I am grateful for the many lessons Al-Anon has taught me with regards to being one among others. I am able to use a variety of tools to sidestep the insanity in others. I certainly no longer volunteer to engage, react or give brain space to it any longer....no matter the source.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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