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what are the facts
(Preview)
I have just had a moment of clarity. What are the facts. 1. I grew up in an alcoholic home and at 15 years old I left and started my life on my own. I could not not stand the insanity and feeling stuck. 2. In every serious relationship I had with a man, (6live in bf/c/l/husbandsx2) they have had alcohol issue...
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joker
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3
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376
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Emotional HangOver - Grateful for a Break Today!
(Preview)
I woke up this morning, and was just sad. Really, really sad. I am so grateful for recovery as I would be in far worse shape if I did not live/seek a spiritual solution for all that annoys, affects or hurts me... Many of you know that I lost my Aunt 9 days ago. She was an awesome person and I will miss her dea...
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Iamhere
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14
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757
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Soon to be ex husband relapsed
(Preview)
Hi everyone
This is my first post. A little background, I got with my X when we were 19 & 21. Right before my 21st birthday we unexpectedly got pregnant and got married a few months before we had our son in the summer of 2014.
I always knew XH was an alcoholic, but he was sober our entire relationship...
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felixfelicis
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3
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535
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Update on life
(Preview)
Hey everyone, I have not posted in a while just thought I would update what is going on lately: AH is back to drinking, I may have mentioned that. Better luck next time I guess. MIL has been staying with us now for 10 days after a fall that landed her in the ER. NO broken bones or open wounds this time. s...
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Broken513
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4
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520
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Crises in my home
(Preview)
my a/sister lives with me and she stabbed me in the back I've put up and put up with her mood swings till this last one as of yesterday ,she tried her best to lie out of it and place blame on her daughter ,her daughter don't live here, she finally told me she did do it and that she apologized for it I still haven'...
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lookingup
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3
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577
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New to Al-Anon, not to AA
(Preview)
Hi everyone...first post here. I am an active member of AA (I am an alcoholic) in my community and truly have a love for the fellowship of AA. My wife have an compulsive eating disorder and attends OA meetings online. The other night, My sponsor suggested I attend some Al Anon meetings to gain some ex...
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pgd1979
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3
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487
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keep it simple
(Preview)
So I've been trying to focus more on myself and less on the As in my life. And in doing that I have found I kind of started to obsess about what was wrong with me. Because suddenly I can see all these irrational thoughts and feelings and behaviours that are unhealthy for me. And I have been obsessing over...
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KT2015
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3
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482
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Been a while since I have been here...
(Preview)
Hi everyone. Its been a while. First, I am SO sorry this is s long, but I haven't really talked to anyone that is going through this in a while and I guess I am just trying to gage where I am in the on going sinerio with my AH. For a long time, he has been averaging 1/2 a fith of Black Velvet a day, drinking it strei...
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Tired-of-it
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2
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504
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Courage to Change 2-5
(Preview)
The C2C reading for February 5th, speaks about the principle in Tradition 11 whereby we are cautioned to remember that we "attract "people to alanon by practicing the principles and not by telling them what to do or by giving advise. People get to alanon when they are ready and not be...
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hotrod
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2
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410
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How do I show compassion for AH?
(Preview)
I'm sure not feeling like I'm making the right choices lately and have been asking my HP to guide me. I'm also trying to let go and let God but am still struggling. I read that I should be able to show compassion for my AH. At this point in time, it's highly likely I will move on but am not quite there yet. I...
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NeedPeace
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11
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767
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Just not feeling it.....
(Preview)
So I graduated from Nursing school December 18th, but still had my 90 our transitions rotation to do at a hospital so my actual graduation date if February 9th even though I walked through a ceremony already. So I have two shifts left this week then I am truly done with school and will get a date to take my n...
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Breakingfree
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13
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529
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ABF says things unrealistic
(Preview)
I have been thinking about what the ABF has said about our age difference and trying to see his perspective. He says he is 6 years older than me and he has a different mind set, values, dreams than I do and he needs to think about his life as he gets older. I do not understand what he is talking about. I am a moth...
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joker
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2
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425
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Update
(Preview)
I finally made it to a face to face Al-anon meeting Monday night. It was great to discuss what I was feeling and the anger I was in. The ABF was drunk and I went to the meeting anyways. He had been on a 24 hour bender starting Monday and ending only yesterday. He had kept me up as he talked and talked to himself n...
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joker
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3
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370
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Maybe it's using my tools, or maybe I've just had enough
(Preview)
This morning I got a call from my 35 year old AD. A call similar to so many other calls that I've gotten from her. A call filled with misery, toxicity, negativity and venom. A type of call in the past that would have dragged me down, made me sick with worry, and kept me awake at night.
She does nothing to addr...
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lgnutah
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4
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443
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question about kinds of alcoholics
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new here. I have been to a few al-anon meetings in person and belonged to an email group for a time. I need advice and help figuring out how to handle a situation with my husband. So my husband doesn't seem to fit the conventional definition of alcoholic. He doesn't drink every day (as far as I c...
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goodmorningsunshine66
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21
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1065
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struggling to hear the inner voice.help?
(Preview)
Hi everyone. Well I'm facing a major decision and am so knotted up in fear and anxiety I can't for the life of me make a decision. The slogan when in doubt don't has always been a no go for me because I tend to just sit paralysed about every single thing until I freak out and jump in headfirst. Balance, I know....
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a4l
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3
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1203
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Courage to Change 2-4-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for February 4 speaks about how we sometimes tend to feel as if we e are being punished by God, when we are undergoing a difficult challenge . When this happens it indicates that we may have lost the image of a loving Higher Power. We need to maintain this image , if we are to recov...
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hotrod
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3
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380
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Conceptualizing an HP
(Preview)
Hi there, I've been working on the second step a lot lately and even sliding into the third step. The problem is I am having difficulty with the whole Higher Power thing. I was raised by an atheist who told me there was no God. I grew up without religion in my life at all. I do believe in a higher power a...
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KT2015
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11
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616
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Courage to Change Reading (2-03-2016)
(Preview)
The C2C reading for February 3 speaks about the principles of the program leading to serenity. It suggests that many of us would've preferred to hear that the principles of the program would lead to sobriety and cure the alcoholic. We also had a misconception of the word "serenity". We th...
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hotrod
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2
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402
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The Master Plan.....I Wish I Had Just a Peek.....
(Preview)
I spent the first part of my day returning my lovely Aunt to the Earth from which we all supposedly have come. I then went home, and prepared to go to her home to help my cousins pack up and clean up. We have truly enjoyed our time together and it's been lovely to see them - many live abroad. As I was pulling u...
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Iamhere
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17
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528
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JUST A SHORT UPDATE
(Preview)
got a call from mortgage company and found out AH has not paid them for 2 months like he promised. From all reports he has had a accident with a neighbor and has been hiding his car because he doesnt have insurance. So with a tall male friend of the family im going back to THE HOUSE and will try to get AH to writ...
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YARNCRAZY
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2
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281
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Bad advice by loved ones
(Preview)
Hello again!! How do I explain to a dear friend of mine I cannot just "pack my $hïţ and leave" I still have quite alot of damage to deal with and am working the steps, I have created boundries and I am now slowly gaining control of my own future, but it's not instantaneous, she has no idea becau...
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Amandasheart
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9
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666
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New relationship with an Alcoholic
(Preview)
Hey there, I have been dating my boyfriend for a month now. He is a recovering alcoholic. He relocated to my area 3 months ago (just about the time he became sober again) He is attending his meetings faithfully. I guess I am terrified because he keeps stating he does not want to hurt me. He is afraid t...
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Free2bme3333
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8
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508
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Spiritual Awaking....#123456789
(Preview)
Hello MIP Family :) I have Landed Safely Back in My Home town from my Trip Out of Country :D I Landed 12 hours Before the Mega Snow Storm that Gave us 3 Foot of Snow :O .... I Should have Staying in Mexico...lol 70+ All Week Long :) I am So Very Grateful Al-Anon has Taught me the Benefit of "No Expectati...
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Jozie
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7
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600
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Hope for Today feb 2
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how detrimental gossip is in our recovery. The quote from Courage to Change is: "Gossip never enriched anyone's character. It was only an excuse to avoid focusing on myself." The reason I like this quote so much is it is a reminder to keep th...
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yanksfan51
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6
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442
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Courage 2 Change reading for 2-1-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for February 1 speaks about being powerless over the disease of alcoholism. it points out that many people believe that if they stop" enabling ", the drinking will then stop. This is not necessarily true. We are powerless over alcohol and when we stop enabling, we are doi...
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hotrod
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4
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463
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New Here
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I have been considering joining Al-Anon for some time now and have finally taken that first step. I am currently engaged to an alcoholic and right now we are in a "quiet" phase although I know soon there will be some sort of episode. I have been exposed to addiction for a lot...
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Gardening
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5
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488
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Please Help...
(
1 2 3 4
)
(Preview)
I need help. I don't even know where to begin... I dated an amazing man for six and a half years... We fell in love the moment we met. He treated me like I hung the moon. Three years into our relationship, I found out my boyfriend was an alcoholic when he attempted to push me away and ultimately checked himse...
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Jaclyn
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143
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24299
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My A falling into depression every time he is alone for extended periods.
(Preview)
Hi I'm new to the programme and have gotten as far as Step 3. I have been with my A for over 14 years in this time he's had one relapse but the problems continue. I don't live in my home country and cannot attend meeting in English. Finding this site has been a godsend. My A organised some long overdue counse...
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CurleySue
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9
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429
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using Al-Anon tools
(Preview)
This board has been my lifesaver. As some of your may know, my alcoholic BF has had another slip. He was sober for 3 months without a program. He has been drinking for 2 weeks now every third day. Its been a real challenge for me to work my program. Yesterday, I finally had enough! He had sat up all night talk...
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joker
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5
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450
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Husband is an alcoholic. Sober for 93 days and relapsed. I am pissed, how do I handle it?
(Preview)
Hi-- My husband has been an alcoholic for 20+ years and finally decided to get treatment. He was back to his old was last night and got drunk and bought a bunch of random people drinks (bill was over $300). I am so pissed and hurt that I am shaking. I get it that people are human and make mistakes, but how a...
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augrads
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7
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6899
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So we just watch our A commit slow suicide
(Preview)
How can we just stand by and watch it happen?
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lgnutah
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8
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485
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Courage to Change 1-31-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 31 speaks about having our "shortcomings" being removed. as we move to Step 6 and Step 7. It points out that we can do all we can to prepare for them to be removed by developing a nonjudgmental awareness of ourselves, accept what we discover and become willing t...
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hotrod
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3
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400
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I apologize
(Preview)
I apologize for leaving in the middle of a meeting this morning. My girlfriend and I had our wires crossed and she was on her way to pick me up. I wasnt sure what to do so I just left but I think I forgot to log out.
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KathRN
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4
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664
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what can i expect from my recovering alcoholic boyfriend?
(Preview)
Hello, I'm new to this forum, i came on here because i'm looking for some advice from other people that may have been in my position before. I have been dating a lovely man for 6 years, i wasn't aware initially that he was an alcoholic. He told me 2 years into the relationship. From that point onwards i enco...
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Happy Girl
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5
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2247
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Alcoholic Mother
(Preview)
She texted me in the middle of December. It was the first time I've heard from any of them in nearly 3 years. I'm going along pretty smoothly and then bam, my head explodes. I'm so angry that I even responded. I want to reconcile but I also know that if I go back it will be the same patterns over again because t...
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StargazerLily
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5
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499
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hi all
(Preview)
As i was posting a reply to someone else,s post I realized that there was something i wanted to share. I suggested in my reply to give themselves a break over emotional reactions because they are doing things differntly now. As i have been trying to adjust to my new life, i have been sqelching alot of sadn...
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YARNCRAZY
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2
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350
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Courage to Change 1-30-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 30 speaks about the difficulties of living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that many times plans change at a moments notice and rules get broken. Al-Anon shows me a new way to approach these difficulties. I can live one day at a time. I can make my choices of what...
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hotrod
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1
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315
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My Brother Is Drinking Himself To Death
(Preview)
Hello out there in Alanon world. Here is my story.... My oldest brother is drinking himself to death. He has been a heavy drinker/alcoholic for the better part of 45 years. Obviously, as this is a progressive disease, he hasn't always been in the condition he is now. But about a year ago, he was di...
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Wiggity
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8
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1606
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Vivitrol for Alcoholism
(Preview)
Has anyone known someone that's tried this?
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frustrationshigh
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2
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460
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Courage to Change reading 1-29-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 29, speaks about "self-expression." It points out that upon attending Al-Anon meetings, we discover how important it is to give voice to our feelings. We need to be very careful how we do this, as there is a huge difference between "expressing ourselv...
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hotrod
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3
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630
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Reliazation that my picker is broken
(Preview)
I went to an al-anon meeting last night and read afterwards and I had an awaking moment afterwards. I realized that every man that I had gotten into a serious relationship with and lived with not only all alcoholics but have the same issues. I need to go home. I need to go home. They are not from the city I...
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joker
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3
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613
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Final straw
(Preview)
Well, I've just had the final straw!! AD went on a binge tonight with my grandson's truck that my husband left to him when he passed. Grandson just turned 18. The truck is still in my name. The title was mailed to me around the time my hubby passed and I can't find it anywhere. I need to apply for a lost titl...
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KathRN
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3
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557
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this is all new to me and i don't know what to do
(Preview)
I have been in a relationship with an A, who also has anxiety issues. he does not drink every day, or every weekend. but when A does drink, there is no stopping. and he is verbally abusive to me. it has never gotten physical. and afterwards, there are apologies, presents, promises of never doing it again...
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sally1984
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6
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596
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New to this- opinions of my situation please?
(Preview)
I realize that I'm the only one who can know what decision is right for me, but I would just like some outside thoughts on my situation. I went to my first Al-Anon meeting last night but didn't feel like talking at the time. I've been talking extensively with my friends and family that have experience wit...
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cc123
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4
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483
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God's timing vs my own...how to know
(Preview)
Hello all...Itâs been a while since Iâve posted as Iâve been riding out the current storm that Iâm currently in and just trying to take in all of the ESH on the boards to get through this. Iâm having trouble in my spirit with carrying out a decision that I made to file for legal separation from my AH. I m...
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Hopefull15
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4
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527
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Death of a loved one
(Preview)
I'm back,I'm working the steps also still at 1st step in path,and doing the Ctc,and one day at a time ,ftf meetings are in next town over and I'm got night blindness so I'm still working on trying to find someone to carpool with cause I really need ft for.reason I'm here today is that my abf mom passed away l...
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lookingup
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4
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514
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Step 2
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 2 has been posted to the Step Work Board . Please join in and share your thoughts. Here is the address http...
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hotrod
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1
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497
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C2C Reading 1-28-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 28 points out that many of us come to Al-Anon for a quick fix for our pain. and that many of us stayed because of the consistency, security and friendship that we find each day and because of our commitment to our growth. The reading suggests that it Is important to see recove...
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hotrod
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2
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393
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Finding a sponsor
(Preview)
hi! At my face to face meeting today we talked about step 12 (courage to change from yesterday) and it was a great discussion but I noticed everyone has a sponsor. The thought of this terrifies me. I want a sponsor, but how do I find one? What if they reject me? (I have a pretty bad fear of rejection and socia...
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Fairlee
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4
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4144
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I Wanna Be a Kid Again...
(Preview)
So - some of you know that I have a lovely Aunt, 83 years old, who went from independent living 2.5 weeks ago to Hospice today. There is no obvious or apparent reason that she's declined other than her body is just giving out in a general way. In my immediate family, I am the only one left in the area of our u...
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Iamhere
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26
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765
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Struggling with boring and normal!
(Preview)
Funny, how I'll always find something to complain about, ugh. I have been dating my new guy for nearly 10 months. Everything is fine on the surface but I struggle with the normalcy of our relationship. No drama, no major issues (except that I think he's not a verbal guy when he expresses himself and h...
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andromeda
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15
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806
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New to this - 2 meetings in one day?
(Preview)
I'm totally new to this, and haven't found a home group or sponsor yet. I've had an extremely hard day, and feel like I need to try and listen to as many stories for help as I can. There are two meetings in my area that are close in proximity and timed right. Is there any benefit to trying to go to both? Hel...
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marniep222
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13
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609
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When I'm tired I'm a mess
(Preview)
I have been struggling with sleep on and off for a couple of years now. Sunday night I did not get much sleep at all. I got 4 hours tops and I woke up and went to work a groggy mess. I felt awful, and grumpy, and dissatisfied and like my life was miserable. My AH and I have had some of the worst arguments whe...
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KT2015
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4
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572
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Rock Bottom
(Preview)
I dont wish to continually post problems here, I am new and wish to move forward with step one... Came home from work to witness alcoholic daughter (nearly 20) needlessly bullying younger daughter in front of friends (again!) For the fist time I asked daughter and friends to leave: in the past I have t...
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Pearlgirl
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4
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621
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Lies, Lies and Loss of Memory
(Preview)
AH got a final reprimand from work so might be losing his job (28 years with the company and 5 years from retiring). He says he didn't do anything wrong and his boss hates men. Really.... I've noticed lately he keeps asking me the same questions over and over again. The alcohol abuse must be impacting...
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NeedPeace
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3
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642
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Courage to Change 1-27-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 27 speaks about self-pity and martyrdom. It points out that many times we read, or interpret a meaning into another's action that is not true. We need to learn to take things at face value and stop translating others actions or motives. . The quote is from One Day at a time in...
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hotrod
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8
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534
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There is no solution and I have no control
(Preview)
It's never ending. In October, after the last drinking time which resulted in no job, no home, no money, no girl friend and baby, 38 year ld A son tried living on the street for a few days. He didn't like it. My sister offered him her couch in NYC. He is on probation. He set up a program that included 5 days a we...
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laurab
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6
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559
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I am so grateful yet angry
(Preview)
I finally took some action. I called the bank and since the mortgage is only in his name, my credit rating will not be affected and if the house sells I have half of the value. I did a stupid thing and called him. He was with her at her place and I got into a heated argument with him and her. I was so mad, I shook li...
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joker
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1
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414
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Clarity
(Preview)
Since my last update, I have been working on focusing on myself. Its been great. The ex-ABF went on another drunk after sleeping for 2 days. He contacted his ex-wife and met her and said he is not coming home tonight. I said good, I do not have to listen to lies and drunk talk all night. She can listen to you...
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joker
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4
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740
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