Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

vintagebel · vintagebel

Well I haven't been on here for a while now. I married my AH three months ago (we've been together two years). He had been going really well - doing daily meetings, looking healthy & our relationship was great. Fast forward three months. He's back to drinking every day now, hiding his "stash&...

Bettina2 · Bettina2

Hi everyone. Some may still remember me and I know some won't. Been such a busy year. Went back to school to study Alcohol and drug counseling, will graduate soon. Right now doing my internship at the US Vets at March AFB in sunny California. But I never forget this board and the great people on it. Hope to...

KT2015 · KT2015

So I had a rough weekend with AH. It was pretty rough. We got into a disagreement I told him how I felt about something and he hasn't been able to accept what I said. So he's been quite the bear. He's withdrawn all physical affection, his drinking increased dramatically in the last couple of days and h...

Lyne · Lyne

There is always more to learn and practice. I understand the slogan "keep coming back." If I am having trouble with my A, it doesn't feel earth shattering anymore. I have detached with love and more importantly, whatever the future holds for us, I have HP and I will be OK. But with my brot...

el-cee · el-cee

Happy Valentine's day. It's a good day to for 'love' and what it is. It seems to mean different things to different people. Living with alcoholism distorted my perception of love. I believed love was needing a person and being needed. I think my idea of love was co dependency. Enabling was another fe...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Not sure how to feel about getting canned from a job I hated. Was mostly that they couldn't afford to keep me. Either way, it is reminiscent of being in a relationship with a drunk and feeling rejected by someone you hate anyhow. Being unemployed is scary. Very anxious. Something will work out.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone-- Today's reading is about how difficult and dangerous it can be to get caught up in your own head with obsessive thoughts. There can be a fearfulness connected with too much thinking; I have definitely caught myself going down that path and prayed 'oh no please help me get out o...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Prayers please for the family who lost their trailer home this morning. Grease fire. Lost everything. I know it is safe to post this here. Didn't want to post it on Facebook. Small town.

joker · joker

I have not shared that the home situation is getting worse than said. He has grabbed me and has left bruises on my arms. He again grabbed me on the weekend and so far there is no bruises on me today (Sunday). I am near the end of my rope where I will call the police and have him charged for assault. Usually he wi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

"Expectations lead to big let downs, because in those expectations are only what you think you know. Expectancy allows God to move in unthinkable ways." ~~~~ Loving on purpose dot com The above quote was in my daily feed this morning, and it gave me reason to pause. I believe it's because...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

OK I texted my a brother that I landed a job and he congratulates me which is nice. He then tells me (insert sad story here). In this instance he on the job and is sitting waiting in a car in a temperature in the single digits. OK this is where maybe I could have just detached by saying sorry to hear that, hope i...

Lyne · Lyne

Thanks for your help yesterday. In the afternoon my A and I spent some time with my extended family. My A got blamed for doing something inappropriate, not horrible, not due to alcohol, and now she is completely depressed as my sister-in-law went berserk in front of others. I have learned since th...

Thorn · Thorn

Hi all. Just getting this off my chest. My AH (sober many years but no program so the "isms" abound) retired from a very high stress job 2 years ago and we moved South for hopefully a financial and stress- reducing coast into our retirement years. As we have a tendency to do as alcoholics and c...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c challenges the idea that we "work" the al-anon program as we so often say and instead suggests that what we do is "practice" it in much the same way learning a foreign language requires us to actually practice what we have learned through conversation with others who...

marniep222 · marniep222

My qualifier hit me in the face with this one yesterday. And I've been unable to understand how two people can love each other so much, yet be so bad for each other. That we lose ourselves in each other and it continues to spiral out of control. Is the answer really just let go - and maybe someday we can fin...

joker · joker

I just read the messages on abuse on the message board here and I am in a violent situation. I said to him very clearly, this is the last and final time you will ever grab me again. I said I will call the police and have you charged with domestic violence, and you will be kept away from here. I did not argue with...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

My soon-to-be-X is (was) a pastor. He had a "girlfriend" stay at our house for two and a half weeks while I was gone taking care of my 93 year old mother. He told the church that I was still there, and when the truth came out, he was put on leave. He, naturally, totally blames me, not only for &q...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm so over it at the moment. I swear I really don't understand people at times. Isn't there a song that says why you gotta be so mean? I think in some ways I am so cynical and other ways I'm so totally naïve. I haven't decided where I fit at times .. I do not know how to play the game whatever that is .. it's...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

In October of 2007 I had a football size mass removed with my right ovary, it was hell and of course my AH at the time was none supportive. I went to all my appointments before and after alone and since my Mom had stage 4 ovarian cancer I was a wreck. Now obviously healed and been healthy and fine since then. N...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning,, the Courage to Change reading for today, February 11 speaks about Tradition Five. It states that this tradition helps us to set three goals for ourselves.: One is to work the steps for myself;--- have compassion for the alcoholic;-- and to have compassion for those who come to Alano...

canig70 · canig70

I have a child who doen't believe or think like me. I still meed to love her. She is A product of my drinking.

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-So today is a day to celebrate love and appreciation of loved ones. That is easy for me to do except with my A. I did buy a generic card and some scratch offs. For me I see several presents waiting. I tell my A I am no longer "in love" with her. I love her as a human being, a family member, and...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Do you know I've never had a valentines day card or gift or any of that. I'm not feeling miserable about it or anything; don't worry lol...just reflective. It used to really upset me. When I was younger I guess I imagined all sorts of romantic futures and then with the guys I have been with, well, I bought p...

joker · joker

I have had a slip in my behavior again. I guess I am human and I am learning. The abf started drinking Friday afternoon after doing errands. I did not get his beer. He went and got it himself. I should have said you can not drink here. I did not. I instead drank with him and he drank non stop till 4 am this morni...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

Hi All, This is my first time starting a new thread since joining this board - so for background, my original thread is called "Please Help". Anyways, this passed summer - I accidentally became pregnant with my exAF (not ex at the time). Due to my physical illness and his addiction - I deci...

Debb · Debb

Al-Anon tries to help us learn to clear the debris of our mistakes, to help us to learn to recognize how we have contributed to the destruction of our home life. The Alcoholic in our lives did not do all the damage in the household, when we react to their poor conduct by screaming and getting upset we add t...

joker · joker

I have had a slip in my behavior again. I guess I am human and I am learning. The abf started drinking Friday afternoon after doing errands. I did not get his beer. He went and got it himself. I should have said you can not drink here. I did not. I instead drank with him and he drank non stop till 4 am this morni...

manas · manas

My A is in rehab and likely to be out in a month's time. The A did not have a job and I was paying (way too much) for the work my A used to do at home (cooking, cleaning, groceries etc). I realize I was an enabler. I'm taking it one day at a time, but I can't help thoughts about how I will be able to refuse money (of co...

Weeks7304 · Weeks7304

First of all, I am rather new to all of this. Four weeks today as a matter of fact. My Wife returned home from in patient treatment, 28 day program on Friday. She did amazing while completing the program. I found this board and the chat board of this group and that has helped a lot. I knew the transition back...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to share that tomorrow being Valentine's Day & my dad's 76th birthday, I am actually feeling pretty good this year. I am on here today because of the holiday on Monday & the fact that this library computer will not be available tomorrow. I guess I don't have to explain why I am here ever...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading starts by suggest that confusion can be a gift from God. The writer states that often he/she was not truly ready to take action when looking back at times he/she felt desperate for an immediate solution. When fully ready, the information necessary was there for the taking. The writ...

andromeda · andromeda

I was so excited. Number 1 I'm finally over this flu that hit me earlier in the week and I feel like a human again. Number 2, I got a new job and I start on March 1st! This new job pays about 20% more than what I was making before but it's only a 9 mile drive instead of a 32 mile drive. That, in effect, saves me a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C likens us al-anoners to snowflakes, pointing out that although we come together to face similar common problems, we are all unique. It goes on to discuss how for many of us, comparing ourselves to other people has been a harmful habit that has left us feeling inadequate, and that we can eve...

lookingup · lookingup

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,and not tackle my whole life problemat once. I can do something for twelve hoursthat would appall me if I felt that I had tokeep it up for a lifetime. ????????????,explain,this seems to be a tough one.i make mountains out of molehills . Thanks L...

Pushka · Pushka

I have a couple of thoughts tonight that have been weighing on my heart. LOL .. if I can keep them straight I'm just going to do two separate posts. I'm looking for ESH on how to figure out what is guilt and what is shame. What does guilt feel like? What does shame feel like? What is the difference? No I d...

LetGoLetGod · LetGoLetGod

My wife and I both are in a pretty desperate situation with her son (my stepson) and our marriage. Our son's father whom he sees every other week is a former drug addict. My wife's parents were not alcoholic growing up though they were very unhealthy and no doubt there was alcoholism somewhere. My pare...

KT2015 · KT2015

Went out for dinner with friends tonight. AH is doing what alcoholics do. Drinking too much then trying to start a fight with me when we get home. Sat back and let me deal with the bill at dinner then angry because he feels I paid too much and it was my fault the last time too you know that we paid too much for...

Momofk · Momofk

I was to go out of country in a few days thinking my young adult son would be in treatment already. However we were just informed it may be 2-3 weeks more. He wants me to go as he was looking forward to quiet time (we have an up and down relationship). My concerns are his safety. i know he can do things while I'm...

Debb · Debb

I am so very grateful to MIP and the Al-Anon program and wanted to share this as it has an essential key to happiness. The program works when you work it!! {{HUGS}}

joker · joker

I am coming to the point of acceptance slowly. The alcoholic got drunk last night again but I did not care. I had a good night sleep. He came into bed with me and kept talking in my ear. I finally got mad and told him to go to sleep. He would not of course. I finally got up and went to the other bedroom and had a sou...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The daily reading from C2C for today talks about detachment. The writer discusses that it's easier to detach from casual friends than loved ones because we are less involved emotionally. If family members act as the casual friends, we have a different response, at times. What the reader discuss...

ElsieParalyzed · ElsieParalyzed

I'm new here. I work in substance abuse treatment. My father is an alcoholic. I fail to do the things that I should do for me, mostly. I am, at least, in therapy. Tonight my father called me. He seemed a little goofy, but was coherent, and we made some weekend plans. He texted me a little while later as if we h...

Armywife · Armywife

It is so incredibly hard for me to admit that I need help now. I have been sober for nearly 3 years (in July) but I have always done it without help, I never went to therapy and quit cold turkey without picking up any other habits or addictions. I am not saying all of this to sound pompous, I have struggled eve...

LinSC · LinSC

What is unconditional love to you? Can humans really love unconditional? Or is this a term we use loosely? respectfully, linsc

lookingup · lookingup

Is it ok for someone else to push their strong opinions on a person? I apologize for not wording it right the 1st time. ,thanks, I'll get it right one day ,lol,I'll just tell what's really going on is that my sister whome lives here with me in my home,says shes a strongly opinionated person and that she w...

lookingup · lookingup

I know how to argue and win most arguments but this time I told my drug addicted bf that I wasn't his type or was he my type person that he needed to go back to his type gf that loved her drugs to,he said he didn't want a woman that done drugs so I said I didn't want or need a man that done drugs and that run them up hi...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

MY SIS IN LAW FINALLY STEPPED UP AND GOT AH INTO HOSPITAL. HE WAS NEAR DEATH BUT STILL RELUCTANT. SHE IS HANDLING SOME OF HIS FINANCES NOW. MY LIFE HAS JUST GOTTEN MORE COMPLICATED AS I WATCH TO SEE IF HE WILL RECOVER. THAT WILL DETERMINE WHETHER I WILL TURN OVER OWNERSHIP OF HOUSE TO HIM, FILE DIVORCE OR WA...

strick62 · strick62

Good Morning to everyone. I am the spouse of an AH. Sorry for any mistakes I may make in posting, is my first time. I have spent the past 24 yrs with an alcoholic spouse. When we first met, I knew he drank beer but didn't even realize that a person could be an alcoholic just drinking beer. I did not grow up in...

MollyOwl27 · MollyOwl27

I've been noticing a lot of raw emotions surfacing lately, likely a result of trying to let go and detach. Without trying to control I am free to feel things and boy, am I feeling things. I don't mind it so much as long as they don't surface at inappropriate times...which they seem to. My mother visited ye...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Not much to say even anything negative. I am just grateful simply said. It just keeps getting better! If I keep the focus on the good things good things will happen! Love you all!

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for February 10 speaks about one of the many effects of living with the disease of alcoholism is that many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings and desires. In Al-Anon we learn to note, appreciate and expresses our true selves. We do find that creativity is a powerful wa...

little_phoenix · little_phoenix

hi everyone! I've been an Al Anon member for a long time, but have never come across these forums. This is my first post so saying hi to you all, hope you are doing well!

Lately I haven't been able to talk to any friends about my problem, and was hoping someone could help me with some advice. I've b...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together The 3rd Step has been posted to the Step Work Board. Here is the link:http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61637772/al...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

HI ALL EXCUSE THE CAPS, CAN TYPE BETTER WITH THEM. MY FRIEND TOOK ME TO THE HOUSE WHERE MY ALMOST XAH LIVES SO I COULD GET SOME PAPERS AND A CHECK ETC. i WAS EXPECTING TO SEE THINGS WERE BAD AFTER 2MTHS AWAY BUT NOT PREPARED TO SEE HIM SO VERY GAUNT,YELLOW,THIN WEAK AND UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE. i WAS HYSTERICA...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I am wading through my fears about possibly dovorcing my AH. One thought that holds me back is a loss of control over our son's environment. I have fears about unsafe behavior, and poor parenting affecting my son who is only 4 years old. I have started working on my son's skills- making sure he knows ho...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for February 8 speaks about wanting everybody to like us and be our friend. If this does not happen we often end up feeling hurt, disappointed and "less than".The words spoken at the closing of an Al-Anon meeting are very helpful to listen to and absorb. They are "th...

KT2015 · KT2015

Hi there, So I feel like things are going so well lately (knock on wood). Not that life is smooth but that I am handling the bumps in the road in a much saner way. I really feel more in touch with my HP and that is helping me so much. I'm starting to ask HP for help with things. I'm learning not to react to eve...

Jerry F · Jerry F

The day came and went...calmly and sanely as so many others have since arriving at the front doors of the program of Al-Anon Family Groups. We started the day as many others with literature reading that sets us up to do the best day we can and not get blind sided by anything that could take us off the sur...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, I'm finally able to hobble around without crutches and that's a very good feeling!! I have to be very careful not to over-do it which is difficult because I am so sick of taking it easy and I am itching to get out for long walks in the summer breeze! But oh well. The whole debacle has set me back by six mo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on concept 9- personal leadership at all service levels. The writer is more of a follower than leader, but through the study of concept 9 realizes there is leadership in following good example. There is leadership in following the suggestions of th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Three Months Married - My "Beloved" AH (Preview) Well I haven't been on here for a while now. I married my AH three months ago (we've been together two years). He had been going really well - doing daily meetings, looking healthy & our relationship was great. Fast forward three months. He's back to drinking every day now, hiding his "stash&...	vintagebel	2	705	Feb 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	You are always on my mind (Preview) Hi everyone. Some may still remember me and I know some won't. Been such a busy year. Went back to school to study Alcohol and drug counseling, will graduate soon. Right now doing my internship at the US Vets at March AFB in sunny California. But I never forget this board and the great people on it. Hope to...	Bettina2	8	765	Feb 16, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Progress coming in waves I guess (Preview) So I had a rough weekend with AH. It was pretty rough. We got into a disagreement I told him how I felt about something and he hasn't been able to accept what I said. So he's been quite the bear. He's withdrawn all physical affection, his drinking increased dramatically in the last couple of days and h...	KT2015	5	810	Feb 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Coping skills interesting (Preview) There is always more to learn and practice. I understand the slogan "keep coming back." If I am having trouble with my A, it doesn't feel earth shattering anymore. I have detached with love and more importantly, whatever the future holds for us, I have HP and I will be OK. But with my brot...	Lyne	2	719	Feb 16, 2016 by Bettina2
	Love, what is it? (Preview) Happy Valentine's day. It's a good day to for 'love' and what it is. It seems to mean different things to different people. Living with alcoholism distorted my perception of love. I believed love was needing a person and being needed. I think my idea of love was co dependency. Enabling was another fe...	el-cee	9	905	Feb 16, 2016 by Bettina2
	Fired/Laid off ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Not sure how to feel about getting canned from a job I hated. Was mostly that they couldn't afford to keep me. Either way, it is reminiscent of being in a relationship with a drunk and feeling rejected by someone you hate anyhow. Being unemployed is scary. Very anxious. Something will work out.	pinkchip	75	2103	Feb 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today. Feb 16 (Preview) Good morning everyone-- Today's reading is about how difficult and dangerous it can be to get caught up in your own head with obsessive thoughts. There can be a fearfulness connected with too much thinking; I have definitely caught myself going down that path and prayed 'oh no please help me get out o...	yanksfan51	1	635	Feb 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	my neighbors house caught on fire (Preview) Prayers please for the family who lost their trailer home this morning. Grease fire. Lost everything. I know it is safe to post this here. Didn't want to post it on Facebook. Small town.	Hoot Nanny	3	450	Feb 16, 2016 by milkwood
	Need to be honest (Preview) I have not shared that the home situation is getting worse than said. He has grabbed me and has left bruises on my arms. He again grabbed me on the weekend and so far there is no bruises on me today (Sunday). I am near the end of my rope where I will call the police and have him charged for assault. Usually he wi...	joker	8	887	Feb 16, 2016 by Bettina2
	Expectations Quote in my Feed This AM.... (Preview) "Expectations lead to big let downs, because in those expectations are only what you think you know. Expectancy allows God to move in unthinkable ways." ~~~~ Loving on purpose dot com The above quote was in my daily feed this morning, and it gave me reason to pause. I believe it's because...	Iamhere	4	887	Feb 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Was Just Trying to Be Nice (Preview) OK I texted my a brother that I landed a job and he congratulates me which is nice. He then tells me (insert sad story here). In this instance he on the job and is sitting waiting in a car in a temperature in the single digits. OK this is where maybe I could have just detached by saying sorry to hear that, hope i...	tiredtonite	3	719	Feb 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Mind my own business (Preview) Thanks for your help yesterday. In the afternoon my A and I spent some time with my extended family. My A got blamed for doing something inappropriate, not horrible, not due to alcohol, and now she is completely depressed as my sister-in-law went berserk in front of others. I have learned since th...	Lyne	2	597	Feb 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Need to vent a quick sec (Preview) Hi all. Just getting this off my chest. My AH (sober many years but no program so the "isms" abound) retired from a very high stress job 2 years ago and we moved South for hopefully a financial and stress- reducing coast into our retirement years. As we have a tendency to do as alcoholics and c...	Thorn	13	878	Feb 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 15/2 (Preview) Todays c2c challenges the idea that we "work" the al-anon program as we so often say and instead suggests that what we do is "practice" it in much the same way learning a foreign language requires us to actually practice what we have learned through conversation with others who...	missmeliss	2	710	Feb 15, 2016 by Mirandac
	Enabling and Co-Dependence (Preview) My qualifier hit me in the face with this one yesterday. And I've been unable to understand how two people can love each other so much, yet be so bad for each other. That we lose ourselves in each other and it continues to spiral out of control. Is the answer really just let go - and maybe someday we can fin...	marniep222	5	805	Feb 15, 2016 by marniep222
	seeing the light again (Preview) I just read the messages on abuse on the message board here and I am in a violent situation. I said to him very clearly, this is the last and final time you will ever grab me again. I said I will call the police and have you charged with domestic violence, and you will be kept away from here. I did not argue with...	joker	10	782	Feb 15, 2016 by el-cee
	Sundays are the most difficult (Preview) My soon-to-be-X is (was) a pastor. He had a "girlfriend" stay at our house for two and a half weeks while I was gone taking care of my 93 year old mother. He told the church that I was still there, and when the truth came out, he was put on leave. He, naturally, totally blames me, not only for &q...	Rosemeyer	7	814	Feb 14, 2016 by Jerry F
	Drama and Trauma (Preview) I'm so over it at the moment. I swear I really don't understand people at times. Isn't there a song that says why you gotta be so mean? I think in some ways I am so cynical and other ways I'm so totally naïve. I haven't decided where I fit at times .. I do not know how to play the game whatever that is .. it's...	SerenityRUS	4	915	Feb 14, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Having flashbacks!!! (Preview) In October of 2007 I had a football size mass removed with my right ovary, it was hell and of course my AH at the time was none supportive. I went to all my appointments before and after alone and since my Mom had stage 4 ovarian cancer I was a wreck. Now obviously healed and been healthy and fine since then. N...	Breakingfree	7	749	Feb 14, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage to Change 2-11-2016 (Preview) Good Morning,, the Courage to Change reading for today, February 11 speaks about Tradition Five. It states that this tradition helps us to set three goals for ourselves.: One is to work the steps for myself;--- have compassion for the alcoholic;-- and to have compassion for those who come to Alano...	hotrod	3	642	Feb 14, 2016 by Debb
	Staying in the moment! (Preview) I have a child who doen't believe or think like me. I still meed to love her. She is A product of my drinking.	canig70	2	515	Feb 14, 2016 by Debb
	Valentine's Day with my A (Preview) Hi-So today is a day to celebrate love and appreciation of loved ones. That is easy for me to do except with my A. I did buy a generic card and some scratch offs. For me I see several presents waiting. I tell my A I am no longer "in love" with her. I love her as a human being, a family member, and...	Lyne	5	641	Feb 14, 2016 by Thorn
	Different this year. (Preview) Do you know I've never had a valentines day card or gift or any of that. I'm not feeling miserable about it or anything; don't worry lol...just reflective. It used to really upset me. When I was younger I guess I imagined all sorts of romantic futures and then with the guys I have been with, well, I bought p...	missmeliss	7	763	Feb 14, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	slipped up (Preview) I have had a slip in my behavior again. I guess I am human and I am learning. The abf started drinking Friday afternoon after doing errands. I did not get his beer. He went and got it himself. I should have said you can not drink here. I did not. I instead drank with him and he drank non stop till 4 am this morni...	joker	4	686	Feb 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Difficult Day + Email from ExAF (Preview) Hi All, This is my first time starting a new thread since joining this board - so for background, my original thread is called "Please Help". Anyways, this passed summer - I accidentally became pregnant with my exAF (not ex at the time). Due to my physical illness and his addiction - I deci...	Jaclyn	30	1106	Feb 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	One Day At A Time - Clearing The Debris - 2-13-16 (Preview) Al-Anon tries to help us learn to clear the debris of our mistakes, to help us to learn to recognize how we have contributed to the destruction of our home life. The Alcoholic in our lives did not do all the damage in the household, when we react to their poor conduct by screaming and getting upset we add t...	Debb	8	633	Feb 14, 2016 by Debb
	slipped up (Preview) I have had a slip in my behavior again. I guess I am human and I am learning. The abf started drinking Friday afternoon after doing errands. I did not get his beer. He went and got it himself. I should have said you can not drink here. I did not. I instead drank with him and he drank non stop till 4 am this morni...	joker	0	582	Feb 14, 2016 by joker
	How to refuse money to A (Preview) My A is in rehab and likely to be out in a month's time. The A did not have a job and I was paying (way too much) for the work my A used to do at home (cooking, cleaning, groceries etc). I realize I was an enabler. I'm taking it one day at a time, but I can't help thoughts about how I will be able to refuse money (of co...	manas	5	717	Feb 14, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Following InPatient Treatment (Preview) First of all, I am rather new to all of this. Four weeks today as a matter of fact. My Wife returned home from in patient treatment, 28 day program on Friday. She did amazing while completing the program. I found this board and the chat board of this group and that has helped a lot. I knew the transition back...	Weeks7304	20	1189	Feb 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Valentine's Day & DAD (Preview) Just want to share that tomorrow being Valentine's Day & my dad's 76th birthday, I am actually feeling pretty good this year. I am on here today because of the holiday on Monday & the fact that this library computer will not be available tomorrow. I guess I don't have to explain why I am here ever...	Hoot Nanny	5	648	Feb 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/14/16 (Preview) Today's reading starts by suggest that confusion can be a gift from God. The writer states that often he/she was not truly ready to take action when looking back at times he/she felt desperate for an immediate solution. When fully ready, the information necessary was there for the taking. The writ...	Iamhere	0	5567	Feb 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	You win some, you lose some (Preview) I was so excited. Number 1 I'm finally over this flu that hit me earlier in the week and I feel like a human again. Number 2, I got a new job and I start on March 1st! This new job pays about 20% more than what I was making before but it's only a 9 mile drive instead of a 32 mile drive. That, in effect, saves me a...	andromeda	9	875	Feb 13, 2016 by andromeda
	Courage To Change 13/2/16 (Preview) Today's C2C likens us al-anoners to snowflakes, pointing out that although we come together to face similar common problems, we are all unique. It goes on to discuss how for many of us, comparing ourselves to other people has been a harmful habit that has left us feeling inadequate, and that we can eve...	missmeliss	2	907	Feb 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Just for today saying I been understand wrong,plz need help with this one (Preview) Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,and not tackle my whole life problemat once. I can do something for twelve hoursthat would appall me if I felt that I had tokeep it up for a lifetime. ????????????,explain,this seems to be a tough one.i make mountains out of molehills . Thanks L...	lookingup	4	708	Feb 13, 2016 by Freetime
	Shame Vs. Guilt (Preview) I have a couple of thoughts tonight that have been weighing on my heart. LOL .. if I can keep them straight I'm just going to do two separate posts. I'm looking for ESH on how to figure out what is guilt and what is shame. What does guilt feel like? What does shame feel like? What is the difference? No I d...	Pushka	16	4777	Feb 13, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Are my wife and I in the right place? (Preview) My wife and I both are in a pretty desperate situation with her son (my stepson) and our marriage. Our son's father whom he sees every other week is a former drug addict. My wife's parents were not alcoholic growing up though they were very unhealthy and no doubt there was alcoholism somewhere. My pare...	LetGoLetGod	8	845	Feb 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Need to vent (Preview) Went out for dinner with friends tonight. AH is doing what alcoholics do. Drinking too much then trying to start a fight with me when we get home. Sat back and let me deal with the bill at dinner then angry because he feels I paid too much and it was my fault the last time too you know that we paid too much for...	KT2015	2	694	Feb 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	To go away or not (Preview) I was to go out of country in a few days thinking my young adult son would be in treatment already. However we were just informed it may be 2-3 weeks more. He wants me to go as he was looking forward to quiet time (we have an up and down relationship). My concerns are his safety. i know he can do things while I'm...	Momofk	6	816	Feb 12, 2016 by Inga
	Grateful (Preview) I am so very grateful to MIP and the Al-Anon program and wanted to share this as it has an essential key to happiness. The program works when you work it!! {{HUGS}}	Debb	3	697	Feb 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	alcoholic drank again (Preview) I am coming to the point of acceptance slowly. The alcoholic got drunk last night again but I did not care. I had a good night sleep. He came into bed with me and kept talking in my ear. I finally got mad and told him to go to sleep. He would not of course. I finally got up and went to the other bedroom and had a sou...	joker	8	683	Feb 12, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/12/16 (Preview) The daily reading from C2C for today talks about detachment. The writer discusses that it's easier to detach from casual friends than loved ones because we are less involved emotionally. If family members act as the casual friends, we have a different response, at times. What the reader discuss...	Iamhere	2	688	Feb 12, 2016 by serenity47
	Please Don't Make Us Do This Again (Preview) I'm new here. I work in substance abuse treatment. My father is an alcoholic. I fail to do the things that I should do for me, mostly. I am, at least, in therapy. Tonight my father called me. He seemed a little goofy, but was coherent, and we made some weekend plans. He texted me a little while later as if we h...	ElsieParalyzed	3	812	Feb 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hard to admit... but I need help (Preview) It is so incredibly hard for me to admit that I need help now. I have been sober for nearly 3 years (in July) but I have always done it without help, I never went to therapy and quit cold turkey without picking up any other habits or addictions. I am not saying all of this to sound pompous, I have struggled eve...	Armywife	6	923	Feb 11, 2016 by Thorn
	"Unconditional Love" (Preview) What is unconditional love to you? Can humans really love unconditional? Or is this a term we use loosely? respectfully, linsc	LinSC	12	1169	Feb 11, 2016 by el-cee
	Opinions (Preview) Is it ok for someone else to push their strong opinions on a person? I apologize for not wording it right the 1st time. ,thanks, I'll get it right one day ,lol,I'll just tell what's really going on is that my sister whome lives here with me in my home,says shes a strongly opinionated person and that she w...	lookingup	12	888	Feb 11, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Excepting my a/d bf (Preview) I know how to argue and win most arguments but this time I told my drug addicted bf that I wasn't his type or was he my type person that he needed to go back to his type gf that loved her drugs to,he said he didn't want a woman that done drugs so I said I didn't want or need a man that done drugs and that run them up hi...	lookingup	6	1019	Feb 11, 2016 by milkwood
	QUICK UPDATE (Preview) MY SIS IN LAW FINALLY STEPPED UP AND GOT AH INTO HOSPITAL. HE WAS NEAR DEATH BUT STILL RELUCTANT. SHE IS HANDLING SOME OF HIS FINANCES NOW. MY LIFE HAS JUST GOTTEN MORE COMPLICATED AS I WATCH TO SEE IF HE WILL RECOVER. THAT WILL DETERMINE WHETHER I WILL TURN OVER OWNERSHIP OF HOUSE TO HIM, FILE DIVORCE OR WA...	YARNCRAZY	2	564	Feb 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Getting off this rollercoaster (Preview) Good Morning to everyone. I am the spouse of an AH. Sorry for any mistakes I may make in posting, is my first time. I have spent the past 24 yrs with an alcoholic spouse. When we first met, I knew he drank beer but didn't even realize that a person could be an alcoholic just drinking beer. I did not grow up in...	strick62	15	864	Feb 11, 2016 by milkwood
	Depression and family contact (Preview) I've been noticing a lot of raw emotions surfacing lately, likely a result of trying to let go and detach. Without trying to control I am free to feel things and boy, am I feeling things. I don't mind it so much as long as they don't surface at inappropriate times...which they seem to. My mother visited ye...	MollyOwl27	9	1200	Feb 11, 2016 by little_phoenix
	a good day to be alive! (Preview) Not much to say even anything negative. I am just grateful simply said. It just keeps getting better! If I keep the focus on the good things good things will happen! Love you all!	Hoot Nanny	4	551	Feb 10, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change Reading 2-10-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for February 10 speaks about one of the many effects of living with the disease of alcoholism is that many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings and desires. In Al-Anon we learn to note, appreciate and expresses our true selves. We do find that creativity is a powerful wa...	hotrod	6	1112	Feb 10, 2016 by hotrod
	first post, needing some encouragement (Preview) hi everyone! I've been an Al Anon member for a long time, but have never come across these forums. This is my first post so saying hi to you all, hope you are doing well! Lately I haven't been able to talk to any friends about my problem, and was hoping someone could help me with some advice. I've b...	little_phoenix	5	845	Feb 10, 2016 by hotrod
	Step 3 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together The 3rd Step has been posted to the Step Work Board. Here is the link:http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61637772/al...	hotrod	1	581	Feb 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	WED SO TRAGIC (Preview) HI ALL EXCUSE THE CAPS, CAN TYPE BETTER WITH THEM. MY FRIEND TOOK ME TO THE HOUSE WHERE MY ALMOST XAH LIVES SO I COULD GET SOME PAPERS AND A CHECK ETC. i WAS EXPECTING TO SEE THINGS WERE BAD AFTER 2MTHS AWAY BUT NOT PREPARED TO SEE HIM SO VERY GAUNT,YELLOW,THIN WEAK AND UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE. i WAS HYSTERICA...	YARNCRAZY	3	770	Feb 10, 2016 by hiraeth
	separating from A with young children (Preview) I am wading through my fears about possibly dovorcing my AH. One thought that holds me back is a loss of control over our son's environment. I have fears about unsafe behavior, and poor parenting affecting my son who is only 4 years old. I have started working on my son's skills- making sure he knows ho...	Taraxacum	9	824	Feb 9, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change Reading 2-8-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for February 8 speaks about wanting everybody to like us and be our friend. If this does not happen we often end up feeling hurt, disappointed and "less than".The words spoken at the closing of an Al-Anon meeting are very helpful to listen to and absorb. They are "th...	hotrod	4	1080	Feb 9, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Just a positive share (Preview) Hi there, So I feel like things are going so well lately (knock on wood). Not that life is smooth but that I am handling the bumps in the road in a much saner way. I really feel more in touch with my HP and that is helping me so much. I'm starting to ask HP for help with things. I'm learning not to react to eve...	KT2015	8	792	Feb 9, 2016 by KathRN
	Half lifing it... (Preview) The day came and went...calmly and sanely as so many others have since arriving at the front doors of the program of Al-Anon Family Groups. We started the day as many others with literature reading that sets us up to do the best day we can and not get blind sided by anything that could take us off the sur...	Jerry F	10	787	Feb 9, 2016 by pjwa12726
	First world problems. (Preview) Well, I'm finally able to hobble around without crutches and that's a very good feeling!! I have to be very careful not to over-do it which is difficult because I am so sick of taking it easy and I am itching to get out for long walks in the summer breeze! But oh well. The whole debacle has set me back by six mo...	missmeliss	8	813	Feb 9, 2016 by missmeliss
	Hope for Today feb 9 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a focus on concept 9- personal leadership at all service levels. The writer is more of a follower than leader, but through the study of concept 9 realizes there is leadership in following good example. There is leadership in following the suggestions of th...	yanksfan51	2	840	Feb 9, 2016 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.