The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This morning I got a call from my 35 year old AD. A call similar to so many other calls that I've gotten from her. A call filled with misery, toxicity, negativity and venom. A type of call in the past that would have dragged me down, made me sick with worry, and kept me awake at night.
She does nothing to address the underlying problem of alcoholism and prescription+illegal drug abuse and in fact said she's never been happier than when she spent months drinking and using drugs every day with her now deceased boyfriend.
And it just hit me. I'm not doing this anymore.
I didn't cause it, I can't control it and there is nothing I can do to cure it.
I looked at someone else's post and it just hit me that detaching with love means I can no longer let my AD disrupt my day disturb my sleep or my serenity but I just have to view her with caring sorrow.
Acceptance is a really good thing. it doesn't mean we accept their behavior, but we accept who they are. That leads to acceptance of the things we cannot change about them. Sounds like you are right there. As Betty says, Let go and Let God, he is the only one that can change things with AD, you can only change yourself.
Acceptance is a great thing Ignutah! I love your follow-up post about the detaching with love. I see great progress in your posts and hope you feel a bit of peace in these realizations.
I too am a huge believer in letting Go and letting God. By keeping the focus on me and what I am doing vs. what he/they are doing, my serenity and peace has become very valuable to me.
Keep coming back and keep choosing you! It's worth it!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
