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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> New Here
Post Info TOPIC: New Here
Gardening


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New Here
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Hello everyone.

I have been considering joining Al-Anon for some time now and have finally taken that first step.  I am currently engaged to an alcoholic and right now we are in a "quiet" phase although I know soon there will be some sort of episode.  I have been exposed to addiction for a lot of my life from friends and previous boyfriends so unfortunately I feel like I have begun to accept this as "normal."  I have been engaged to my fiance for almost three years now, we have been together for about 5 years.  He did not always drink heavily and I think it was mainly triggered by him being fired from a job a couple years ago.  Since then his self esteem has been very low.  There has been a lot of lying, fighting, and verbal abuse and I have decided to accept the fact that I can not change him and that I myself need help too.  I am wanting to start focusing on my health and my well being instead of worrying and fretting over his every move.  I know it is not healthy and I need to change.  It is time for me to take care of myself and my four legged family instead of blaming myself for things that are out of my control.  

There are not a lot of local meetings by me so unfortunately I won't be able to attend many of them, I also work full time and go to school full time so I'm going to use these boards as a big supplement to the in person meetings I am able to go to.  I'm also planning on taking advantage of the counseling services my school offers.  To begin with I was wondering if anyone could recommend what Al-Anon book would be the best one to start with?  I can only afford one, but would love to get one and begin the first step.  Thank you in advance!  



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Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome Gardening! Glad you found us and glad you joined to share!

As far as which book, with a budget for one only, I would suggest Courage to Change. It's a daily reader but will give you a daily reading to consider.

If you look to the top right, you can see our Step Board - you'll have to join again, but can use same username + password if desired.

If you look to the top left, you will see our meeting times + a link to the meeting/chat room.

Before you purchase any book, you might want to visit a local library to see if they have any to borrow. There are many, and it would be hard for me to decide on one only.

Glad you joined us and I hope you can squeeze in a local meeting soon - we are an awesome community, but F2F (face to face) meetings give you much desired local fellowship!

Keep coming back!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Gardening


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Iamhere thank you for the welcome and the tips! I am excited to start this new step in my life and hopefully find some peace of mind.

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Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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Gardening you can also check with Amazon.com to see which ones they have and the prices.  People sell them there too.  I started my recovery with One Day at a Time (eldest daily reader) and How Al-Anon Works which is considered our "Big Book". 

I also welcome you to Miracles in Progress...that is a real title and a real happening and I hope it works for you also as it has from so many of us.  We are willing to share our experience and journey with you with the hope that you might find what we have so gratefully also found.   Please stick around and please continue to exercise the courage you brought with you.  One big miracle in your favor is that we all have been where you are at now in one way or another.

Keep coming back....((((hugs)))) wink



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missmeliss


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome aboard, Gardening, and good on you for deciding to take care of you
You mention wanting to begin the steps, and as Iamhere mentions there is a stepwork board here that might be a good starting place for you to begin understanding them. Paths to recovery is my go-to for understanding the steps and how to work them and I seem to find something new each time I pick it up. I have seen it in libraries and also, a lot of meetings will have literature you can borrow and or second hand books to buy so even if you can't get to one regularly it might be a good idea to go to one just for that reason...and pick up a welcome pack while you are there which has some free reading in it too


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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome Gardening I have copied a sample of the free literature below as I have found all these to be helpful to my recovery

Legacies

The Al-Anon program used the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and Twelve Concepts of Service. They are guides for behavior in our personal lives (Steps), in groups (Traditions), and in performing service work (Concepts). The links below will take you to more information about the Legacies on the Al-Anon Family Groups website.
Twelve Steps
Twelve Traditions
Twelve Concepts of Service

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Al-Anon Slogans

Easy Does It
First Things First
How Important Is It?
Just For Today
Keep An Open Mind
Keep It Simple
Let Go And Let God
Let It Begin With Me
Listen And Learn
Live And Let Live
One Day At A Time
Think

Let It Begin With Me

When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help
Let the hand of Al-Anon and Alateen always be there
And Let It Begin With Me

JUST FOR TODAY

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,
and not tackle my whole life problem
at once. I can do something for twelve hours
that would appall me if I felt that I had to
keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to
be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that
most folks are as happy as they make up
their minds to be.

Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind.
I will study. I will learn something useful.
I will not be a mental loafer. I will read
something that requires effort, thought and
concentration.

Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is,
and not try to adjust everything to my own
desires. I will take my luck as it comes,
and fit myself to it.

Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three
ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and
not get found out. I will do at least two
things I dont want tojust for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are
hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not
show it

Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look
as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low,
act courteously, criticize not one bit, not
find fault with anything and not try to improve
or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today, I will have a program. I may not
follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will
save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all
by myself, and relax. During this half hour,
sometime, I will try to get a better perspective
of my life.

Just for today, I will be unafraid. Especially I
will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,
and to believe that as I give to the world, so
the world will give to me.

-Kenneth L. Holmes

 

© Copyright 2016 by New Hampshire Al-Anon. All rights reserved.



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
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