The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my a/sister lives with me and she stabbed me in the back I've put up and put up with her mood swings till this last one as of yesterday ,she tried her best to lie out of it and place blame on her daughter ,her daughter don't live here, she finally told me she did do it and that she apologized for it I still haven't excepted her apology cause it was really bad I'm can't help but think there's gonna be a next time,and it may be worse than this time I dunno but she seems to think an apology is sufficient and she done her part now it's off her and on me to forgive her again,lol,I'm tired and drama gets to me.im still reading my Ctc ,and doing my just for today and G&a a list bout everyday and working on step one.i feel like I'm doing her a disfavor by allowing her to stay in my home but she has no where to go she homeless .need esh plz on this I can't just keep sucking up her crap she dishes out.and downing me like I'm nothing ,this must sound so childish we are both in our early 50 s and I'm like,,,,what the heck ,I haven't time for no drama I got to work on me I can't and wouldnt even try to fix another or her.thanks again for allowing me to ramble on......would really apriciate all the esh on this problem .she moved in with me 8 mths ago ,and she seems to be getting worker,no program she don't believe in program,says she not in any Daniels with nothing and can't nobody help her with her problems........thanks and hugs,lookingup
Well, (((lookingup))) you're in the right place. I'm glad you're here. I've found it very difficult to concentrate on myself, when my AD was in my home. What I did was give her a timeline to get a job and move out and I didn't make it really easy to live here, meaning I gave her chores to do, and rules to live by. She couldn't wait to get her own place, then when she was evicted I told her she'd have to find another place or go to a shelter, because I would no longer let her live with me. She's still not doing great, but I've stuck to my guns and she's living in a trailer now with her boyfriend. It was very difficult for me, and still is, but I don't have to put up with her constant drama any longer. I just couldn't take it. By the way, she's 36, so it's not like she's 16. Good luck with your sister and I hope you find comfort in knowing that you're not alone.
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KathyRN
"A PROBLEM IS ONLY A PROBLEM, IF YOU CHOOSE TO SEE IT AS A PROBLEM!"
(((lookingup))) I am so sorry that your sister has been unkind after all you have given her. Remembering that alanon suggests that we" forgive others" simply because holding on the the anger, resentment and fear only hurts us and ruins the present moment
Look at the situation objectively , decide on what lesson you need to learn from what happened anbd then draw a healthy boundary with your sister.
(((LookingUp))) - so sorry for your situation and all the chaos and drama that this disease tends to bring into our lives/homes. As Betty suggests, I did put up boundaries that I designed with my sponsor and the results were tested. The hardest thing I ever had to do was put my son(s) out, each one, different times....my first was more creative and couch surfed for a bit and then landed someplace after he get sober. My second one - not so much - ended up at the homeless shelter.
In my world when I allowed the chaos and drama to continue, it affected me beyond words. As part of recovery, I had to stop enabling so they could reach their own bottom in their time-frame. I could no longer live with what this disease brought into my home, and I was not going to go so they had to.
There are no one size fits all solutions; you're own recovery journey will help you determine your path. Know that we are here for you! I too am glad to hear you using the tools you've got!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
