The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband has been an alcoholic for 20+ years and finally decided to get treatment. He was back to his old was last night and got drunk and bought a bunch of random people drinks (bill was over $300). I am so pissed and hurt that I am shaking. I get it that people are human and make mistakes, but how am I supposed to be supportive of his treatment when I am so pissed and hurt?
He was arrested and tried to blame it all on me. Now that he has slept it off, he realizes that he made a mistake and owns up to it. But I am still very hurt.
Welcome augrads I do hear you , have experienced many the same type nights and do so understand . You are correct, alcoholism is a chronic disease that can be arrested and not cured. I found that the answer to the question you asked, as what to do with, the Anger, Resentment,Self Pity and Fear that I had ,was to search out alanon face to face meetings in my community and attend. This is indeed a dreadful disease over which we are powerless and we cannot cope with it alone.
It was at alanon meetings that I learned how to accept support from those who truly understood , to keep the focus on myself, live one day at a time, stop reacting and to respond to situations, trusting a Higher Power. It is all a process and takes time and effort .
Gosh I am so sorry my dear! I heard it said lately that you either change your attitude or change your address. Maybe just relax, go to a movie, go to have a mani/pedi/ hopefully it will pass, as usually all hard things in life do.
Sorry you're going through this. It's a big disappointment and attending a meeting can definitely help you to feel less like you've got a unique situation. Maybe your husband is disappointed in his actions and will try to get himself back in gear. Either way, you are going to need to process these feelings of hurt, anger and disappointment. I can share a horror story or two with you as can others here but after the venting is done, it still comes down to working a program for our own recovery to gain some sanity. Try not to give up hope. If he wants it, he try get himself back on track. In the meantime, if you're not ready to attend in person meetings, we've got online meetings here in the morning and evening. There's support and understanding. Hope you'll keep coming back. ((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Breathe deep it's a process and you are not alone. My husband has been lying to me for over six months about relapse and I found out tonight just when I felt like 2016 was going to be a great year
Welcome to MIP RCA1994 - glad to have you here and glad you joined us.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Tired's suggestion of an open meeting (taking an open mind with yourself) is best and the most supportive and constructive recovery suggestion I have ever seen.
This is alcoholism and just one of the characteristics of alcoholism is "crazy making" ...insanity. Our first step of recovery gets to the issue right away "Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable" and then in the 2nd step it suggests what and how and who helps us to be restored to sanity or as I learned, "a continuous and orderly process of thought". I lived in insanity for all of my life till I got to Al-Anon and found a program with a membership which was so outstandingly sane I thought it was make believe. Al-Anon and Al-Anon recovery is real...very and I am deeply grateful to God and the fellowship for helping me to find sanity. Keep coming back cause this works when you work it. ((((hugs))))
