The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I've been trying to focus more on myself and less on the As in my life. And in doing that I have found I kind of started to obsess about what was wrong with me. Because suddenly I can see all these irrational thoughts and feelings and behaviours that are unhealthy for me. And I have been obsessing over them, feeling I need to fix them, ashamed of some of them etc. But obsessing is such a habit for me I don't feel like I'm really aware that I'm doing this. So in taking care of myself I've been taking this yoga class at lunch. I went into this yoga class so sure I would be great at it. I'm strong, somewhat athletic, in good shape and I work out regularly. So I go to this class with a certain perception of how it's going to go. And I've only taken Yoga a couple of times. It turns out to be staggeringly difficult. I mean I'm struggling to keep my balance, I'm having to take breaks regularly etc. I hear him telling the class to pay attention to their breath and breathe through the poses but I don't really listen. At the end of the class he asks if anyone has any questions so i hang around and say to him....you know I can't do this. I thought I could do this, I can't, why is it so difficult? He said he could tell I wasn't focusing on my breathing. He said the purpose of focusing on your breathing is it gets you out of your head, it gets you mentally centred and that is what people struggle with the most. So it's simple but it's hard. It's simple because you just have to focus on your breathing. It's hard for someone like me because you can't think your way through it. It immediately reminded me of keep it simple. I wasn't focusing on my breathe. I was focusing on my loss of balance, my foot positioning, etc etc etc. To do better in the class I have to breathe and listen to the instructor. How much more simple can that get? And if that is not a message from my HP I don't know what is. So today, for the rest of the day, I'm going to keep it simple. I'm going to focus on what needs to be done in this moment. I'm not going to agonize over every little thing. I'm going to breathe!!
KT2015 - lovely share - thank you for that! That tip he gave you about breathing applies outside the yoga room.....when one or more of my qualifiers is way, way left of center, I say that to myself - breathe, breathe, breathe.....it tends to clear my brain and centers me to make my exit as needed with grace and dignity.
What a great lesson for you and I too believe HP sent you to Yoga for a reason! Great self-care - keep keeping it simple, one moment at a time!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
thanks guys. The rest of my day went really well actually. things were quiet today so I took a brief lunch after my class. I tried not to text or check emails or even read this board. I just tried to breathe and relax. Then I went back to work and was very productive. I found the quiet in the office to be too much so I put on some music and got to work. I accomplished more than I have been lately. I spoke up for myself in a situation where my feelings were hurt (I simply said HEY when something and I came home and enjoyed dinner with my mom and daughter. I let my mom cook dinner tonight because she offered and I was working so I just simply accepted the offer of help without questioning her motives or what she was making or if it would taste good. All the things I do to make it too complicated. We had a nice dinner. Nothing like someone cooking dinner for you. I will eat anything if someone else is going to cook it lol. Then my daughter had a friend over and my mom went to rest. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I started to overthink it and then I decided to keep it simple so I'm just sitting breathing reading stuff on the internet. Taking a break. I plan to put my daughter to bed, watch a movie tonight and then have a hot bath to help with the muscle pain from yoga. Thanks for reading.
