The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most people are not conscious of how much they own and how many of their possessions are no longer adding value to their life. They fiercely hold on to material objects because this makes them feel secure or comfortable. While it's true that the ownership of "stuff" can make you feel good for awhile, it seldom satisfies the deep inner longings that nearly everyone has for fulfillment and satisfaction. It is only when we are ready to let go of our baggage and be vulnerable that it becomes possible to recognize the emotional hold that our possessions can have on us. It's not uncommon to hold on to material objects because we are attached to them or fear the empty spaces that will remain if we get rid of them. Giving away the souvenirs from a beloved voyage may feel like we are erasing the memory of that time in our life. We may also worry that our loved ones will feel hurt if we don't keep the gifts they've given us. It's easy to convince ourselves that unused possessions might come in handy someday or that parting with them will cause you emotional pain. However, when your personal space is filled with objects, there is no room for anything new to enter and stay in your life. Your collection of belongings may "protect" you from the uncertainties of an unknown future while keeping you stuck in the past. Holding on to unnecessary possessions often goes hand in hand with holding on to pain, anger, and resentment, and letting go of your material possessions may help you release emotional baggage. When you make a conscious decision to fill your personal space with only the objects that you need or bring you joy, your energy level will soar. Clearing your personal space can lead to mental clarity and an improved memory. As you learn to have a more practical and temporary relationship to objects, positive changes will happen, and you'll have space to create the life that you desire.
________rosie_________boy!! am i noticing this recovery or what!!!! i have spent OVER 80 hours, reflooring my house/ paint walls/ new faucets/ tubs reglazed/ NOW?? getting rid of old furniture and replaceing it with better stuff/ cleaning out closets/ dumping off old belongings to good-will so i can "make space" for new.......i am cleaning up my life on the INside, and i am now doing it on the OUTside...cleansing diet to get rid of old poisons in my body.......all i can say , when i walk in my house is "WOW"....what a diference!!!!! i am losing the fear that "i'll need it later".....this am i got together a donation for vietnam vets, furniture, and clothes and just stuff......more to come.....i do think as i shed my emotional baggage, i'll shed the physical.....this post is SO true.......i was such a pack rat......afraid to get rid of ANYthing......now??? if i am not usin it??? it goes!!!!
______rosie___ my house was NEVER dirty, i mean my kitchen and bathrooms, bedrooms are sanitary, but its CLUTTER....and i had this "frumpy" lookin furniture, "stuff" piled all around and i am getting rid of it......
_______rosie____ this may sound kinda dumb, but its typical of my coda sickness....i have NICE stuff that i was just "saving" for when i "had someone" well THOSE DAYS are gone!!! i got rid of the "frumpy" dishes/ silverware....got out the GOOD stuff and i am using it on my favorite person-----ME!!!! why not???? i am doing all this re-decor for ME!!! for MY pleasure MY joy MY comfort---- if i find someone??? gr8--- if i dont???? thats ok too......i am pleasing ME!!!!! and i like comming home now to my "really cute place"......thanks/ rosie
I love your posts and really admire the way you are working your programme.
I felt a long time ago it was time to "clear the clutter" and as soon as I set about doing it,my A was going crazy at me NOT to get rid of this or that because he needed those things around.No idea why,since he never really utilised them...I just put it down to his own insecurities and decided to leave well alone. If it kept him happy,even temporarily,I would leave it.
He is now gone,as of last week and the first thing on my "to do" list.........GET RID OF IT!!!!!!!
I am so happy for you that you can put into place this program of self care. I am at the moment on a couple of months program of cleaning up the house and decluttering. I think it is a phenomenal discipline. I want to organize and clear my possesions so I know what is mine. I feel like that is part of my detaching because I was always so desperate to make it "ours".
I also live with an A who is a slob and a pack rack. I have tried working with him to reduce his belongings but now I just focus on me and mine and what I want to do. And I do it at a reasonable pace. I cannot tell you the kind of awful self talk I used to do to myself in the aim of motivation. Now my self talk is mediated by reasonable rather than inhuman goals as well as acceptance and patience.
