The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When he calls me or texts me, I feel like a kind of justification and like I am really 'doing' something here for myself.
When he doesn't I feel lonely and like 'what's the point?'
Why the heck does what I am doing here in my own house have to hinge upon what he does or does not do still? I wish I could stop hanging on like this. It's like I need him there so I can ignore him, and when he is not around to ignore, I go crazy!
i think for me it is and was a boundary issue. I grew up in an "enmeshed" family of origin. There was no beginning or end in my family. My mother in particular blurred a lot of lines and muddied a lot of boundaries. I have been lucky enough to get to work on boundaries a lot. My A has requested some of them but I need some of them. I have to request certain things of him because he believes I am psychic enough to know for example what time he is coming home for dinner. I have also had to tremendously lower my expectations of him that was very very very hard for me. I cannot say it is easy for me to have boundaries I struggle with them day in day out. But I feel I have more clarity now on why and when things bother me. I know when someone has muddied a boundary and I know when I do it too.
