Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

LinSC · LinSC

The solution to obsessiveness is to learn to detach with love. Detaching with love doesnt mean that you stop loving the other person. It means that you make a decision to back up and stop putting all of your time and energy focusing on someone else. It means not allowing the drama of someone elses addict...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

I'm taking college classes online. One of my current classes is "Marriage and Family" for my Humanities credits. In my required reading for this week, there was a chapter about the Social Exchange Theory. Basically, its saying that in a marriage, a person would only want to stay in the marriage if...

el-cee · el-cee

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

It takes a lot to get me mad. Right now, I'm furious. I mentioned that I live in a very small town, right? I have a friend who works in the HR department at Wal*Mart. I asked him if he could tell me why J was fired. He told me confidentially and I can never prove that he said it and he could get into trouble fo...

hopeful987 · hopeful987

Hi all! I am new to this Forum. My story is an interesting one although it may sound a bit over the top. My husband started drinking in 2009 and finally he chose to go to rehab in March 2015. We have three children. During the last 3 years of his active alcoholism (2012-2015) he was having an affair with his...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 3 Speaks about the fact that at the beginning of this alanon journey, the fear of attending Al-Anon meetings was huge and at times overwhelming . Our biggest fear was that someone we knew would be there and know our secrets. It points out that the principles embodied in A...

z88174 · z88174

My BF and I have been together for about a year and a half. Most of that time he was a high functioning alcoholic. It really didn't sink in until he moved in with me and I saw that it wasn't just a weekend thing. We had fought about his "heavy drinking" prior to his moving in but nothing changed. I know - I s...

justwondering · justwondering

I need advice. I've been with my boyfriend for about 11 months now and we've been living together for about 9 months. I'm not a drinker at all and when I met him, he was like, "Yeah, you're not a drinker and I don't want to drink anymore." He doesn't drink all the time, but when he does, I get concerned about...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family! The C2C had no reading for today so no summary...... JK - April Fool's!!! Today's reading talks about Acceptance being one part of the three A's - Awareness, Acceptance and Action. We might be inclined to jump from awareness to action without even pausing for acceptance...

Fooled · Fooled

At Christmas time before I really knew what I was dealing with in regards to my A, I had already made the decision I wanted to change things and start living the way I wanted to. My A Son had already moved in with his father and I was detaching with love. My A stepson had a home of his own and we were okay with...

Crau · Crau

I was sitting here typing up the hell-ish day I had with my exABF; each time I type a sentence I erase. Realizing how ridiculous my decision have been to get me to this level of chaos that I am facing right now. I am still trying to control things despite us not even being together. However; he moved out b...

manas · manas

Breathing rich, fresh air. What a wonderful half day so far. A is sleeping, waking up sleeping. In between, he is doing v useful things for himself and for me. Took him out for a morning ride when we had wonderful breakfast (at 1/5 the cost. V imp. He usually likes only expensive breakfast.) He was happy t...

mjferg · mjferg

So, I haven't dated in a looong time. I have been asked out to dinner. I consider him a friend, we have known each other for a while. We actually went to school together, so we talked every day. I was very comfortable talking to him. I don't see any red flags as far as temperament.He was very respectful. I wo...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

J got fired today. And, it had nothing to do with his drinking. He has not once been drunk at work. I know he hasn't because I was taking him and picking him up. Small towns are a pain. He worked at Wal*Mart. My ex-husband's sister works there. She said something about him to management and they fire...

mjferg · mjferg

I am having a rough day today. My mom is in a nursing home and has been having some problems with her feeding tube, she stopped eating so they feed her now. She always took very good care of herself, she only ate very healthy foods and didn't smoke, kept her weight down,etc. Basically a very health conscio...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

J came over last night for a short while. He was completely sober. We spent some time cuddling and talking - basically just enjoying each other's company. I never feel better than when I'm laying next to him with my head on his chest and his arms around me. I think that's why this semi-separation is s...

Doves · Doves

I've been thinking about the 1st step a lot lately. To me powerlessness over the alcoholic or his behaviour used to mean defeat so I kept on trying to employ various tactics to gain power over this disease and my sons actions therein. And of course my "tactics " only made the situation worse, escalated t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This has been a tough week in terms of emotionally for me, I think there is a lot going on .. lol. Easter, birthdays trying to complete a few things knowing that the attorney still won't be done until May. Last night my boy was the social kid, he did a dance with his "new" girlfriend .. LOL. I did tell him...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 2 speaks about being gentle with ourselves in times of crisis. We may be able to push ourselves hard when things are going well, but we invite trouble if we try to do this when we are struggling to manage the basic activities of life. The reading points out that we often feel that...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Oh what a fun week. Today was the pinnacle. This morning I had a very important exam, in town, so I studied until late last night, slept a little then got up early and went to town. Very hard to concentrate with all of the face-ache drama going on but, I think I passed. After the exam I was desperate to get hom...

TrishaG · TrishaG

I just need to ask for some support if possible. I finally got another job in a new department, same company. I have worked here in this one for 2 years. We order for over 100 clinics and the entire hospital.the ladies are so self centered and being only 4 of us, we have 2 that take off repeatedly, are rude, e...

Doves · Doves

Last night my teen son who binge drinks on weekends with his friends and I can only estimate from what I've seen smokes weed 2-4 times a week came home after school and work and announced that he is probably going to buy a car tomorrow ( which is now today)! He only has his G1 driver license (equivalent to th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I was sitting at the breakfast table in deep decision as to whether I should do it or not and then...truth is I could not not do it. What was the "it"...and April fools joke with my spouse. Her back was to me washing dishes and so I started, "That was a weird way to wake up this morning with a Mo`o (house l...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

I am REALLY bad at the whole time zone thing. I live in Missouri, which I think is central time? So if the meeting is 9pm eastern time tonight, that would make it 8 am my time? Right? I hope that's right. I want to participate. It will be my first ever meeting. I told my boyfriend this morning that I wa...

kspec85 · kspec85

he got high. I could tell as soon as he answered the phone. so of course I had to prove it by FaceTiming him. I can always tell even just a little. It's that fake pot chemical crap. He lied- he's fine just tired yada yada yada. I just hung up. I face timed back. I asked him why he was lying when we agreed to be ho...

WhiskeyLullabye · WhiskeyLullabye

Right now I'm completely heartbroken. I've known that my boyfriend had a drinking problem for a long time. About 5 years ago, he lost his license for drinking and driving. I've been trying to support him and help him through it, but there are some things I won't accept and I made those clear. One of t...

Peaf · Peaf

Hi all. I'm new here. Not sure where to start, but I guess background first. My husband is 42, I am 40,we've been together 3 years, married for one. I have 3 daughters (18 & 16 y/o twins) and he has one son (13). The girls live with us, his son is in AZ. We moved to Germany almost 4 months ago. This is the s...

el-cee · el-cee

Thank you for the many gifts I have in my life today. I most likely always had gifts but was too sick to see them. Not physically sick but spiritually and mentally sick. My distrubed and distorted thinking caused by the disease of alcoholism filtering through the generations of my own family acted like...

Layla Marie · Layla Marie

I have been with my fiancé for 3 years now.. I have a son from before and we have a daughter together. I knew he liked to party when we met and due to me having my son at an early age I was intrigued by this environment. It was not an everyday thing and he seemed fine when we were out. It was a few months into da...

Worried Wife · Worried Wife

Hi all My husband's drinking happens everyday. This desease is way bigger than him now. Right now I cannot even ask him a simple question he is out of it. I've gone thru so many apologies, then the very next day BOOM he's at it again. I am going to a depression group, on meds that don't help me calm down while...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, I've been working through some disappointment concerning a new job I accepted and have now left. I've been inventorying myself, looking at where red flags might have been present in the interview process. I have found a few and realize I should have resisted accepting this job. Some red...

Hope4Healing · Hope4Healing

Hi, everyone. This is my first time here. My twenty-seven-year-old daughter who works and lives out of the house is an alcoholic. She was diagnosed with OCD and depressive tendencies about eight years ago and was on medication that was no longer working. She said she turned to alcohol to cure her anxi...

Fooled · Fooled

Even before AH went to rehab in January he came home from work and plopped on the couch and slept. Every household responsibility fell on me. He has always admitted he is a napper. Now since he has been home for about 7 weeks, this behavior has returned. I have to nag him to get anything completed....

joker · joker

Since the last ABF last binge, I have lost all feelings of love and respect toward him. I look at him and I am disgusted and I think to myself, what a loser he is. He has nothing worthwhile to give to me and what am I doing with him? I deserve better, not a selfish jerk that only has one thought, alcohol. I am try...

jilld30 · jilld30

It's taken me 6 years to realize my husband is a HFA and marijuana addict. 6 years of a rollercoaster and i'm only just getting help for myself - just finding out that i'm not as crazy as he told me i was. I'm so relieved by everyone's posts - to know that it's not just me, but that so many are suffering t...

LinSC · LinSC

Repeatedly bailing them out - of jail, financial problems, other "tight spots" they get themselves intoGiving them "one more chance" - then another...and another...Ignoring the problem - because they get defensive when you bring it up or your hope that it will magically go awayJoining them in...

Doves · Doves

Please read my private messages to you as I need your help

hotrod · hotrod

Step 6 has been posted to teh Step Work Board-- Please join in and share your ESH Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61912861/alanon-step-6-3-31-2016/

Iamhere · Iamhere

It's the last day of March and I hope each of you have a great day! Today's Courage to Change reading talks about how many of us who have lived with alcoholism truly begin to grow up for the first time when we reach Al-Anon. We learn to face the real world and to own our actions/reactions. We begin toI beco...

Aerin · Aerin

Hello everyone! This is my first time ever posting to a board like this. I have read through a lot of your posts and they have helped. But I am so new that I am still learning. I hope I make sense in my post so here goes.. I am 45, my boyfriend is 44. We are both divorced with a child each. We do not live together. (...

joker · joker

Yesterday, it was another nightmare. We went to church and my sister called me and asked me to drive her truck after church. The abf got mad, as I was going to my sisters. I see he is trying to isolate me and not let me have any outside contacts. He got mad and left. He lost his drivers license so I have to drive...

Doves · Doves

just really frazzled right now over today's events and incidents. Send prayers, really need them right now and praying this situation that arose today gets straighten up soon so I can enjoy my recovery.

Doves · Doves

when you are online please look at your private message as I sent you one as I need administration help. Thanks

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c reading speaks of the confusion and resistance many of us feel when we arrive at al-anon and are told to "keep the focus on ourselves". Many of us reject this notion because it sounds so foreign, selfish and similar to the way our qualifiers behave so, why would we ever want to be like that? The...

Doves · Doves

Hotrod: I private messaged you and need your help. Thanks

Fooled · Fooled

I am so hard on myself and always feel like I am not doing things correctly. Had a rough day earlier this week with RAH and forgetting my tools and allowing my teen daughter to manipulate me a little. Was very frustrated with myself and my process. This morning, my handicapped sons aide came to me v...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

Since AH "fell love with another woman", he moved out and has been living with a friend and his wife, rent-free. He has filed for divorce, and we are in the 90-day waiting period before it is finalized. He was a dry drunk, and I have no idea if he is drinking now - it's irrelevant. He is so full of anger, and...

littlelionman · littlelionman

First off I want to acknowledge the progress I've made in managing my emotions when my kids act up. Kids will be kids and for the most part I'm happy with the way I'm becoming a more patient and loving parent. That said, getting my kids to stay in bed after bedtime can be frustrating at times. Bedtime is 8...

joker · joker

Its been a nightmare around the house since Sunday when the ABF started drinking after church. I went to my basement suite in the house and let him be. I heard him walking around the house all day and night and talking to himself non stop. I listened to music and TV downstairs to drown his voice out. It work...

Lookingup1230 · Lookingup1230

follow up to my last post. Is it better to attend Al Anon alone, or with family involved? thanks!

Crau · Crau

An alcoholic (active or in recovery) will always have an enabler. True or False? Discuss. I write this not to put focus on the alcoholic but to get us thinking about ourselves and our roles our own lives. And enabling can looks so different; even when the alcoholic is not longer drinking and we ar...

Sober Bunny · Sober Bunny

Dear all, I'm copy/pasting a post I made on another AA board here as I'm too emotionally exhausted right now to relive all this by rewording it. I posted there first because while a little ESH is always a good thing, what I'm really looking for most is advice from those in AA on what they feel is appropriat...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a little more than a slip and slide this weekend on my own recovery I have to admit .. I really only feel badly for the fact I was not parent of the year .. I absolutely do not feel badly at all for it though. I was not rude, I was bluntly honest and sometimes other people's ignorance needs a swift yet prec...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Today was my face to face meeting. I have been attending this meeting for a year now and it is a great, diverse group that I am privileged to share this journey with. However, with a group of any size, sometimes there are things that will rub others wrong. I generally get along with everyone, but every n...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am actually flowing through life right this moment without any major hiccups which is very nice. I accepted my first RN position and it may be hairy for a few months until we move to our new spot with commuting, but with all we have made it through I know we can do it. We have been house hunting which is fun,...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

I told AH last week that he had till end of day Friday to set up some kind of treatment plan or I was going to leave (5 months pregnant with out two year old in tow). I needed some kind of commitment from him, no more promises to go to a meeting, or plans to call a counselor. He's been sick for 10+ years and only tr...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Yesterday was my oldest son's birthday - he turned 24. He's got two little ones, works and goes to school. This is the son who relapsed but is in recovery, sort of....he goes to meetings but suggests he doesn't have time, blah, blah, blah! So for the last 2 weeks (really that last 10 years), I've been tr...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

_Good morning everyone- Today's reading is a focus on our slogan "Let Go and Let God". The writer acknowledges when her A left their home, she was very good at the first part of the slogan and let everything go- friends, meetings, readings. She, like many of us (at least initially) believed if the A wer...

Love-rain · Love-rain

Hi all I'm a 26yo woman, still living at home (don't panic, it's not unusual in this country) with my alcoholic dad and apparently severely depressed mum. I've been going to alanon for over two years and doing really well, despite not having a HP (I'm agnostic). I think this is starting to be a problem. I...

FHP · FHP

I tried to post this yesterday but it didn't work. I made some changes, and will try again. Apologies if this shows up twice... My husband of more than 40 years has just discovered he's an alcoholic. He doesn't get drunk, at least not since college days, and has maybe one drink a year. But after retireme...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Detaching With Love (Preview) The solution to obsessiveness is to learn to detach with love. Detaching with love doesnt mean that you stop loving the other person. It means that you make a decision to back up and stop putting all of your time and energy focusing on someone else. It means not allowing the drama of someone elses addict...	LinSC	6	657	Apr 4, 2016 by Fooled
	Just Wanted To Share (Preview) I'm taking college classes online. One of my current classes is "Marriage and Family" for my Humanities credits. In my required reading for this week, there was a chapter about the Social Exchange Theory. Basically, its saying that in a marriage, a person would only want to stay in the marriage if...	WhiskeyLullabye	3	502	Apr 4, 2016 by hotrod
	Yoo hoo (Preview)	el-cee	8	597	Apr 4, 2016 by a4l
	Very Angry (Preview) It takes a lot to get me mad. Right now, I'm furious. I mentioned that I live in a very small town, right? I have a friend who works in the HR department at Wal*Mart. I asked him if he could tell me why J was fired. He told me confidentially and I can never prove that he said it and he could get into trouble fo...	WhiskeyLullabye	7	627	Apr 3, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	introduction and question (Preview) Hi all! I am new to this Forum. My story is an interesting one although it may sound a bit over the top. My husband started drinking in 2009 and finally he chose to go to rehab in March 2015. We have three children. During the last 3 years of his active alcoholism (2012-2015) he was having an affair with his...	hopeful987	6	729	Apr 3, 2016 by Mattie
	Courage to Change 4-3-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 3 Speaks about the fact that at the beginning of this alanon journey, the fear of attending Al-Anon meetings was huge and at times overwhelming . Our biggest fear was that someone we knew would be there and know our secrets. It points out that the principles embodied in A...	hotrod	4	570	Apr 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	My BF is 3 months sober...and I am not happy (Preview) My BF and I have been together for about a year and a half. Most of that time he was a high functioning alcoholic. It really didn't sink in until he moved in with me and I saw that it wasn't just a weekend thing. We had fought about his "heavy drinking" prior to his moving in but nothing changed. I know - I s...	z88174	10	1686	Apr 3, 2016 by Jerry F
	I need advice (Preview) I need advice. I've been with my boyfriend for about 11 months now and we've been living together for about 9 months. I'm not a drinker at all and when I met him, he was like, "Yeah, you're not a drinker and I don't want to drink anymore." He doesn't drink all the time, but when he does, I get concerned about...	justwondering	4	504	Apr 3, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/1/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP family! The C2C had no reading for today so no summary...... JK - April Fool's!!! Today's reading talks about Acceptance being one part of the three A's - Awareness, Acceptance and Action. We might be inclined to jump from awareness to action without even pausing for acceptance...	Iamhere	2	576	Apr 3, 2016 by Fooled
	Ok is now my favorite word. (Preview) At Christmas time before I really knew what I was dealing with in regards to my A, I had already made the decision I wanted to change things and start living the way I wanted to. My A Son had already moved in with his father and I was detaching with love. My A stepson had a home of his own and we were okay with...	Fooled	4	638	Apr 3, 2016 by Fooled
	finding the lesson from the chaos I helped create.... (Preview) I was sitting here typing up the hell-ish day I had with my exABF; each time I type a sentence I erase. Realizing how ridiculous my decision have been to get me to this level of chaos that I am facing right now. I am still trying to control things despite us not even being together. However; he moved out b...	Crau	4	604	Apr 3, 2016 by hotrod
	Miraculous half a day. Thanks HP and Al Anon, AA too (Preview) Breathing rich, fresh air. What a wonderful half day so far. A is sleeping, waking up sleeping. In between, he is doing v useful things for himself and for me. Took him out for a morning ride when we had wonderful breakfast (at 1/5 the cost. V imp. He usually likes only expensive breakfast.) He was happy t...	manas	5	601	Apr 3, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	okay ladies does your mind work this way? (Preview) So, I haven't dated in a looong time. I have been asked out to dinner. I consider him a friend, we have known each other for a while. We actually went to school together, so we talked every day. I was very comfortable talking to him. I don't see any red flags as far as temperament.He was very respectful. I wo...	mjferg	26	865	Apr 3, 2016 by el-cee
	When It Rains, It Pours (Preview) J got fired today. And, it had nothing to do with his drinking. He has not once been drunk at work. I know he hasn't because I was taking him and picking him up. Small towns are a pain. He worked at Wal*Mart. My ex-husband's sister works there. She said something about him to management and they fire...	WhiskeyLullabye	2	566	Apr 3, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	mixed feelings and guilt (Preview) I am having a rough day today. My mom is in a nursing home and has been having some problems with her feeding tube, she stopped eating so they feed her now. She always took very good care of herself, she only ate very healthy foods and didn't smoke, kept her weight down,etc. Basically a very health conscio...	mjferg	4	758	Apr 2, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Feeling hopeful (Preview) J came over last night for a short while. He was completely sober. We spent some time cuddling and talking - basically just enjoying each other's company. I never feel better than when I'm laying next to him with my head on his chest and his arms around me. I think that's why this semi-separation is s...	WhiskeyLullabye	5	621	Apr 2, 2016 by missmeliss
	First step (Preview) I've been thinking about the 1st step a lot lately. To me powerlessness over the alcoholic or his behaviour used to mean defeat so I kept on trying to employ various tactics to gain power over this disease and my sons actions therein. And of course my "tactics " only made the situation worse, escalated t...	Doves	3	569	Apr 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Ehe .. (Preview) This has been a tough week in terms of emotionally for me, I think there is a lot going on .. lol. Easter, birthdays trying to complete a few things knowing that the attorney still won't be done until May. Last night my boy was the social kid, he did a dance with his "new" girlfriend .. LOL. I did tell him...	SerenityRUS	8	571	Apr 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 4-2 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 2 speaks about being gentle with ourselves in times of crisis. We may be able to push ourselves hard when things are going well, but we invite trouble if we try to do this when we are struggling to manage the basic activities of life. The reading points out that we often feel that...	hotrod	3	3143	Apr 2, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	Gah. (Preview) Oh what a fun week. Today was the pinnacle. This morning I had a very important exam, in town, so I studied until late last night, slept a little then got up early and went to town. Very hard to concentrate with all of the face-ache drama going on but, I think I passed. After the exam I was desperate to get hom...	missmeliss	4	572	Apr 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Last Day On A Miserable Job (Preview) I just need to ask for some support if possible. I finally got another job in a new department, same company. I have worked here in this one for 2 years. We order for over 100 clinics and the entire hospital.the ladies are so self centered and being only 4 of us, we have 2 that take off repeatedly, are rude, e...	TrishaG	9	619	Apr 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Trying to let go let God (Preview) Last night my teen son who binge drinks on weekends with his friends and I can only estimate from what I've seen smokes weed 2-4 times a week came home after school and work and announced that he is probably going to buy a car tomorrow ( which is now today)! He only has his G1 driver license (equivalent to th...	Doves	6	812	Apr 2, 2016 by pjwa12726
	I just knew I could pull it off and it still slays me...April Fooling.... (Preview) I was sitting at the breakfast table in deep decision as to whether I should do it or not and then...truth is I could not not do it. What was the "it"...and April fools joke with my spouse. Her back was to me washing dishes and so I started, "That was a weird way to wake up this morning with a Mo`o (house l...	Jerry F	5	616	Apr 1, 2016 by Mattie
	Alanon Meeting (Preview) I am REALLY bad at the whole time zone thing. I live in Missouri, which I think is central time? So if the meeting is 9pm eastern time tonight, that would make it 8 am my time? Right? I hope that's right. I want to participate. It will be my first ever meeting. I told my boyfriend this morning that I wa...	WhiskeyLullabye	1	435	Apr 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	It finally happened (Preview) he got high. I could tell as soon as he answered the phone. so of course I had to prove it by FaceTiming him. I can always tell even just a little. It's that fake pot chemical crap. He lied- he's fine just tired yada yada yada. I just hung up. I face timed back. I asked him why he was lying when we agreed to be ho...	kspec85	7	728	Apr 1, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	My boyfriend is an alcoholic (Preview) Right now I'm completely heartbroken. I've known that my boyfriend had a drinking problem for a long time. About 5 years ago, he lost his license for drinking and driving. I've been trying to support him and help him through it, but there are some things I won't accept and I made those clear. One of t...	WhiskeyLullabye	9	739	Apr 1, 2016 by WhiskeyLullabye
	New and need to find support (Preview) Hi all. I'm new here. Not sure where to start, but I guess background first. My husband is 42, I am 40,we've been together 3 years, married for one. I have 3 daughters (18 & 16 y/o twins) and he has one son (13). The girls live with us, his son is in AZ. We moved to Germany almost 4 months ago. This is the s...	Peaf	6	739	Apr 1, 2016 by Mirandac
	Dear Higher Power... (Preview) Thank you for the many gifts I have in my life today. I most likely always had gifts but was too sick to see them. Not physically sick but spiritually and mentally sick. My distrubed and distorted thinking caused by the disease of alcoholism filtering through the generations of my own family acted like...	el-cee	4	543	Apr 1, 2016 by Jerry F
	Just need advice from people in similar situations. (Preview) I have been with my fiancé for 3 years now.. I have a son from before and we have a daughter together. I knew he liked to party when we met and due to me having my son at an early age I was intrigued by this environment. It was not an everyday thing and he seemed fine when we were out. It was a few months into da...	Layla Marie	3	998	Apr 1, 2016 by Jerry F
	At wits end, don't even want to go home (Preview) Hi all My husband's drinking happens everyday. This desease is way bigger than him now. Right now I cannot even ask him a simple question he is out of it. I've gone thru so many apologies, then the very next day BOOM he's at it again. I am going to a depression group, on meds that don't help me calm down while...	Worried Wife	5	657	Apr 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Responding vs Reacting (Preview) Hi Everyone, I've been working through some disappointment concerning a new job I accepted and have now left. I've been inventorying myself, looking at where red flags might have been present in the interview process. I have found a few and realize I should have resisted accepting this job. Some red...	tiredtonite	3	1066	Mar 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	When an adult child is an alcoholic alcoholic child worried parents blackouts medications (Preview) Hi, everyone. This is my first time here. My twenty-seven-year-old daughter who works and lives out of the house is an alcoholic. She was diagnosed with OCD and depressive tendencies about eight years ago and was on medication that was no longer working. She said she turned to alcohol to cure her anxi...	Hope4Healing	14	842	Mar 31, 2016 by Hope4Healing
	Get up and go still hasnt come back (Preview) Even before AH went to rehab in January he came home from work and plopped on the couch and slept. Every household responsibility fell on me. He has always admitted he is a napper. Now since he has been home for about 7 weeks, this behavior has returned. I have to nag him to get anything completed....	Fooled	4	642	Mar 31, 2016 by Fooled
	Trying to understand (Preview) Since the last ABF last binge, I have lost all feelings of love and respect toward him. I look at him and I am disgusted and I think to myself, what a loser he is. He has nothing worthwhile to give to me and what am I doing with him? I deserve better, not a selfish jerk that only has one thought, alcohol. I am try...	joker	6	818	Mar 31, 2016 by Tracy
	High Functioning Alcoholic husband (Preview) It's taken me 6 years to realize my husband is a HFA and marijuana addict. 6 years of a rollercoaster and i'm only just getting help for myself - just finding out that i'm not as crazy as he told me i was. I'm so relieved by everyone's posts - to know that it's not just me, but that so many are suffering t...	jilld30	6	2913	Mar 31, 2016 by Katsfree
	Enabling Behavior (Preview) Repeatedly bailing them out - of jail, financial problems, other "tight spots" they get themselves intoGiving them "one more chance" - then another...and another...Ignoring the problem - because they get defensive when you bring it up or your hope that it will magically go awayJoining them in...	LinSC	6	826	Mar 31, 2016 by Katsfree
	If Iamhere is on the board right now (Preview) Please read my private messages to you as I need your help	Doves	9	787	Mar 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Step 6 (Preview) Step 6 has been posted to teh Step Work Board-- Please join in and share your ESH Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61912861/alanon-step-6-3-31-2016/	hotrod	1	630	Mar 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/31/16 (Preview) It's the last day of March and I hope each of you have a great day! Today's Courage to Change reading talks about how many of us who have lived with alcoholism truly begin to grow up for the first time when we reach Al-Anon. We learn to face the real world and to own our actions/reactions. We begin toI beco...	Iamhere	3	917	Mar 31, 2016 by hotrod
	I am brand new here-Boyfriend binge drinker-I cannot trust him (Preview) Hello everyone! This is my first time ever posting to a board like this. I have read through a lot of your posts and they have helped. But I am so new that I am still learning. I hope I make sense in my post so here goes.. I am 45, my boyfriend is 44. We are both divorced with a child each. We do not live together. (...	Aerin	5	691	Mar 31, 2016 by Aerin
	another insane day (Preview) Yesterday, it was another nightmare. We went to church and my sister called me and asked me to drive her truck after church. The abf got mad, as I was going to my sisters. I see he is trying to isolate me and not let me have any outside contacts. He got mad and left. He lost his drivers license so I have to drive...	joker	8	745	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	So upset (Preview) just really frazzled right now over today's events and incidents. Send prayers, really need them right now and praying this situation that arose today gets straighten up soon so I can enjoy my recovery.	Doves	3	458	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	To Jerry F (Preview) when you are online please look at your private message as I sent you one as I need administration help. Thanks	Doves	7	648	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	Courage To Change 30/3 (Preview) Todays c2c reading speaks of the confusion and resistance many of us feel when we arrive at al-anon and are told to "keep the focus on ourselves". Many of us reject this notion because it sounds so foreign, selfish and similar to the way our qualifiers behave so, why would we ever want to be like that? The...	missmeliss	2	533	Mar 30, 2016 by hotrod
	If hotrod is on here (Preview) Hotrod: I private messaged you and need your help. Thanks	Doves	0	511	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	Learning (Preview) I am so hard on myself and always feel like I am not doing things correctly. Had a rough day earlier this week with RAH and forgetting my tools and allowing my teen daughter to manipulate me a little. Was very frustrated with myself and my process. This morning, my handicapped sons aide came to me v...	Fooled	4	534	Mar 30, 2016 by Fooled
	Detatching when you have to negotiate (Preview) Since AH "fell love with another woman", he moved out and has been living with a friend and his wife, rent-free. He has filed for divorce, and we are in the 90-day waiting period before it is finalized. He was a dry drunk, and I have no idea if he is drinking now - it's irrelevant. He is so full of anger, and...	Rosemeyer	6	711	Mar 30, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	Managing frustration at kid's bedtime (Preview) First off I want to acknowledge the progress I've made in managing my emotions when my kids act up. Kids will be kids and for the most part I'm happy with the way I'm becoming a more patient and loving parent. That said, getting my kids to stay in bed after bedtime can be frustrating at times. Bedtime is 8...	littlelionman	6	702	Mar 30, 2016 by Breakingfree
	I did it (Preview) Its been a nightmare around the house since Sunday when the ABF started drinking after church. I went to my basement suite in the house and let him be. I heard him walking around the house all day and night and talking to himself non stop. I listened to music and TV downstairs to drown his voice out. It work...	joker	4	595	Mar 30, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Follow up question. Sorry... (Preview) follow up to my last post. Is it better to attend Al Anon alone, or with family involved? thanks!	Lookingup1230	9	845	Mar 30, 2016 by Lookingup1230
	True or False? (Preview) An alcoholic (active or in recovery) will always have an enabler. True or False? Discuss. I write this not to put focus on the alcoholic but to get us thinking about ourselves and our roles our own lives. And enabling can looks so different; even when the alcoholic is not longer drinking and we ar...	Crau	7	801	Mar 30, 2016 by hotrod
	Girlfriend fudging steps...what to do/not do? (Preview) Dear all, I'm copy/pasting a post I made on another AA board here as I'm too emotionally exhausted right now to relive all this by rewording it. I posted there first because while a little ESH is always a good thing, what I'm really looking for most is advice from those in AA on what they feel is appropriat...	Sober Bunny	5	843	Mar 29, 2016 by Mattie
	My Holiday Slip .. (Preview) I had a little more than a slip and slide this weekend on my own recovery I have to admit .. I really only feel badly for the fact I was not parent of the year .. I absolutely do not feel badly at all for it though. I was not rude, I was bluntly honest and sometimes other people's ignorance needs a swift yet prec...	SerenityRUS	2	643	Mar 29, 2016 by hotrod
	More miracles (Preview) Today was my face to face meeting. I have been attending this meeting for a year now and it is a great, diverse group that I am privileged to share this journey with. However, with a group of any size, sometimes there are things that will rub others wrong. I generally get along with everyone, but every n...	Bethany66	2	580	Mar 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Reminiscing of leaving the AH and where I went from there..... (Preview) I am actually flowing through life right this moment without any major hiccups which is very nice. I accepted my first RN position and it may be hairy for a few months until we move to our new spot with commuting, but with all we have made it through I know we can do it. We have been house hunting which is fun,...	Breakingfree	6	799	Mar 29, 2016 by el-cee
	I did what I said I would do...now having a hard time sticking it out. (Preview) I told AH last week that he had till end of day Friday to set up some kind of treatment plan or I was going to leave (5 months pregnant with out two year old in tow). I needed some kind of commitment from him, no more promises to go to a meeting, or plans to call a counselor. He's been sick for 10+ years and only tr...	CoopsMom	14	862	Mar 29, 2016 by KT2015
	My Heart Hurts....This Disease Stinks! (Preview) Yesterday was my oldest son's birthday - he turned 24. He's got two little ones, works and goes to school. This is the son who relapsed but is in recovery, sort of....he goes to meetings but suggests he doesn't have time, blah, blah, blah! So for the last 2 weeks (really that last 10 years), I've been tr...	Iamhere	17	968	Mar 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Mar 29 (Preview) _Good morning everyone- Today's reading is a focus on our slogan "Let Go and Let God". The writer acknowledges when her A left their home, she was very good at the first part of the slogan and let everything go- friends, meetings, readings. She, like many of us (at least initially) believed if the A wer...	yanksfan51	3	664	Mar 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Will it ever get better? adult child alcoholic father help depressed mother AF higher power my life is a mess and i am a stress (Preview) Hi all I'm a 26yo woman, still living at home (don't panic, it's not unusual in this country) with my alcoholic dad and apparently severely depressed mum. I've been going to alanon for over two years and doing really well, despite not having a HP (I'm agnostic). I think this is starting to be a problem. I...	Love-rain	8	8622	Mar 29, 2016 by Mirandac
	Separated and hurting (Preview) I tried to post this yesterday but it didn't work. I made some changes, and will try again. Apologies if this shows up twice... My husband of more than 40 years has just discovered he's an alcoholic. He doesn't get drunk, at least not since college days, and has maybe one drink a year. But after retireme...	FHP	9	742	Mar 29, 2016 by FHP
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.