Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jerry F · Jerry F

Happy Easter Eve...I'm up checking in with you family, putting the finishing touches on the morning meal donation to the "Easter Feaster" annual breakfast at my Saturday AA Home Group AA at the bay. Every year we do an Easter and Christmas feed and we eat after the meeting. It is quiet in our house th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm posting this a little early because it's Monday night here and I might not get a chance later on. Today's c2c speaks of the pain of trying to hold onto something. It suggests that when we trust our HP to give us what we need, we can let go instead and look forward, and our hands become free for new and wond...

LinSC · LinSC

When it comes to your qualifier you can't tell them what to do or try to control them, or situations you can't have expectations of them, that will only hurt you Believe me they really are not listening to you taking their inventory is a waste of your precious time what you can do is immerse yourself into A...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

Happy Easter! Today was a good day. Thinking back on past Easters and holidays I realized how lucky I am to have had this holiday with no drama. Having no contact with my AH has allowed me to heal in ways that I never thought possible. My kids say I seem more at ease and not stressed out. Just the sound of h...

LinSC · LinSC

"I spent most of my life doing the Serenity prayer backwards, that is, trying to change the external things over which I had no control - other people and life events mostly - and taking no responsibility (except shaming and blaming myself) for my own internal process - over which I can have some degree...

oceanpine · oceanpine

This has been a very difficult week. Last week, I posted that my AH crossed a new boundary - being real drunk in front of the kids, where they witnessed a lot of the negatives of the disease. Although he admitted that night that he had been drinking, the next day he told them he was not drinking - it was the m...

Truth · Truth

Well it has been months since I have had to deal with my ex-A so naturally my emotional state is healing and my trauma is healing. I know my trauma is subsiding because my logical clarity is returning. This brings me to detaching with love vs detaching. I finally get that detaching with love is emotiona...

Fooled · Fooled

He seems sober tonight...which is good Something is under the surface though and I don't know what it is....A constant circle of questions is going through my head. I have verbalized my boundaries. But he hasn't followed them before. He even admitted when he came home from rehab, the more I got on h...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 27 speaks about learning how to live within alanon principles. It points out that many times, before program, we have lived from crisis to crisis because it was the only way we knew or understood. The reading suggests the alanon's 12 Traditions are part of recovery and h...

hopeful59 · hopeful59

Hi, This is my first post here. I hope this is the right place to ask.... I have been seeing a man for about a year and a half. When I first met him I did not realize that he was an alcoholic-- he hid it very well, but shortly after it became obvious. Vodka was his drink of choice...he would buy nips and drink sev...

Crau · Crau

I recognize tonight that the boundaries I set often block me from having to feel the emotions I felt when my boundaries weak. I hold it together...stand firm in my wants...and then a weakening in the boundary and flood gate of tears. I'm not dealing with emotions just putting a wall up to block them. how...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I recently learned a girl who grew up in my neighborhood who I liked when I was a kid had become an alcoholic. We were FB friends now but she had been very close to one of my friends from HS who I'm recently back in touch with. He so happens to be coming around to an alcohol problem himself. I was shocke...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 26, speaks about the defects of "perfectionism, procrastination, and paralysis." It points out that these " 3 Ps", are three of the worst effects of alcoholism upon our lives. It goes on to say that many of us have a tendency to spend our time waiting for the past to change a...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi all. I have a question that seem obvious but i am traveling and don't have my HoPe For Today book. Someone is directing me to pg 28, so i will look it up online now. would pg 28 be January 28? thank you!

lucymae · lucymae

I have Bipolar 2 and in the middle of medication changes. In the middle of this we may lose our home and move from Washington to Tucson. I told my husband he has to go to marriage counseling or I may not go with him. In the past two days I allowed him to wipe me out with his emotional abuse. I feel so tired and don...

joker · joker

The last few days has been filled with a ton of emotions and awareness. I had to experience a lot of acceptance and cried a bucket of tears. I have now come to acceptance about my daughter moving out and living her own life. I see that I am a control freak, I know the way and you better do it my way. I see that ev...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I had been planning all week to go out with a gal I used to work with at my old job and we try to get together about once every other week. We haven't been able to get together over the last couple of weeks. We met up at a really neat place I want to take the kids to, pool, bowling and so on, flat fee and they pla...

andromeda · andromeda

I am feeling very disconnected from my program friends. I still go to one meeting a week, I try to hike once a week, I also try to make it to my son's tennis tournaments when they occur, I am working a new full time job now which requires a LOT of my mental energy, and I spend a LOT of time with my bf and our kids....

Fooled · Fooled

My 16 year old daughter joined a group through school for children of alcoholics, her birth father and current AH, and her paternal grandparent. She met a really nice friend in the group who has an alcoholic mother The two are pretty good friends and my daughter was a big support when the girl had to m...

mjferg · mjferg

I must say I have come a long way and learned so much since starting this program. I remember how I felt when I first began, scared and hopeless. I was struggling in every area of my life. Now, today as I sit here sharing I find myself completely different. I have moved into my own apartment! Some of you know...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So the last few weeks has been a struggle to put it mildly, I don't think I have had a full paycheck for about 6 weeks now and because today is Good Friday I won't get one next week either. I have a lot of financial responsibilities wearing on me. Easter, kids birthdays, I have got to get moved, the stuff fr...

manas · manas

My A is out of rehab since March 12th. He slipped within 24 hours of being out, but is in control, not troubling me like he used to (but I know at some point it most probably will get worse). Anyway, I'm applying Al Anon tools, staying calm, taking it one day. One crazy thing though. He eats like crazy. Like,...

lookingup · lookingup

I just had an angry outburst at my a ,it like came out like an reflex violent words I'd never use ,as I grab my Ctc and read upon anger I've come to realize that easy does it is a good tool that I can use before I act out or count to 10 or 100 with deep breaths ,my abf and a sis were fixxing to jump in her car and leave t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning to one and all and happy Friday! Today's reading shares about how uncertain or confused we were when we came to the Al-Anon program. The writer suggests one struggle with understanding what was our responsibility vs. what was not. A lovely list of items resulted from program effort a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

OK things have been pretty hard lately but, you know. We're rising to the challenge and that's all you can ask of yourself really. I've gone from being housebound and horribly depressed to travelling 1.5 hours each way to my uni and doing classes with live people....7 classes this semester which is mo...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm gonna try and make this long story into a short story if possible,lol,I'm been hanging on to this for days now and it needs to be let out so here it is.....I get a phone call from this woman she is married but slips around on her aged veteran husband she been married to for 4 yrs and she been married 5 or 6 ti...

joker · joker

Yesterday was another nightmare, moving my daughter to her new home. We did it however and its now done. She is 22 years old in April and needs to be on her own. I am now at the house with the ABF-sober for 5 days now. He is determined as ever to stay sober this time around. I believe he hit his bottom this time....

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

As you guys know, I'm really struggling with an unknown physical ailment... Have been for some time. This illness has completely stolen my life, and seemingly all that is me. I feel very close to a vegetable, based on how debilitated and miserable I am. The doctors say they don't know what's wrong, but...

donnaisdone · donnaisdone

Hi there, I have been coming here for 5 months now - I am a work in progress and I truly have so much work to do. I was hoping to get clarity if, when and who I should ask to sponsor me. I have gone to my first face to face meeting and felt so much love there - I needn't see if it is the right fit for it already feel...

lookingup · lookingup

Hugs and more hugs going out to all my peeps here in alanon, loyalty and great friendship and all the Esh I need,,,,,lu

joker · joker

I am so angry today! My daughter who I have been looking after has mental illness and is now just starting to stabilize. Its been a rough 2 years on different medication and just now she is getting better. She appears almost normal and started opening up to her psychiatrist and nurse and father. Last wee...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses the difficulty some of us have in viewing Alcoholism as a disease instead of a choice. It questions why an alcoholic can't just make a decision to quit and be done with it. For the writer, there was a light bulb moment when another member compared Alcoholism to Alzheimer's...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

Today's C2C reading has me thinking about a conflict I am having: Soon-to-be X and I began our relationship 45 years ago. We were not in the drug scene, thank God, but drinking was just an everyday part of our lives. Of course, in no time, we were drinking alcoholicly. He comes from a family of alcoho...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I had been having a good run. I went to a first F2F meeting and was overwhelmed with the kindness of people there. The speaker said something that unlocked so much emotion in me when it helped me to realize I had been expecting a life that didn't involve the disease. I had failed to acknowledge my AH's s...

lookingup · lookingup

How do I set me a quote for my threads ?

mjferg · mjferg

As I go through this journey of recovery and am blessed with grace and the love of my higher power I often feel a deep sadness at the same time. Not only did I end the relationship with my A, he was also found dead ten months later from an overdose.So my journey has been very painful, as I have had to grieve a d...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c talks about how al-anon can help resolve the contradiction between not wanting to dwell on or be governed by past hurts and disappointments, but also not dismissing them without "dealing". The writer suggests that by joining with others in the fellowship, they feel they have been able to...

el-cee · el-cee

I have this spoilt brat voice in my head at times and when things arent going exactly to my liking I revert to a child and have a wee bit of a subtle, passive manipulative tantrum. Can you relate? This relationship I am in has many beautiful things in it. When I am being a grown up and mature I appreciate it an...

missmeliss · missmeliss

OK, it's been a full moon kinda day and that's a for sure. Earlier, daughter decided she didn't want to come to the gym/pool and so i decided to leave her at home with the dog in charge and take myself there for a "quick swim". So I rushed through my swim, and left while it was still light. It's been a crappy da...

mom2_4 · mom2_4

Hello Everyone. I am new here. This is my first post. My son is 25. My son is an alcoholic. I've said it, yet I feel guilt, shame and failure. My son has been on his own off and on for 6-7 years. He always ends up coming back to mom after he has made so many bad choices in his circumstances and burned so man...

Tigerlily · Tigerlily

To begin, I know there are other older threads regarding relationships and how they are affected. This isn't easy to say and I hope I don't come across as some self centred fool but here goes... I have been with my partner for nearly 7 years (I'm 37 he's 33) and engaged for most of that time. Whilst I have no...

Fooled · Fooled

AH and I had a couples counseling session last night with our Pastor. It was right after a verbal exchange in which it appears that he may have been untruthful regarding a large purchase and trying to recoup some of that. The exchange came when I asked him about it and he became very defensive, espec...

scotty · scotty

Hello, I'm new to this forum but need to get things off my chest somehow. I am the wife an alcoholic. I was brought up by an alcoholic father and ironically I'm a alcohol misuse worker! My husband has always been a heavy drinker but things started to get out of control when he suffered his second bout of dep...

John · John

We are charged 16.95 per month for this board, and when it goes into any arrears, they start to tinker with things some to give us a wake up call. Right now we are 50.85 in arrears. S0 they have it where you can't tell new post or replies from already read ones. Because of the highlighting code on their en...

SeaMe4 · SeaMe4

I am here so that I can first and foremost UNDERSTAND and NOT JUDGE. I wish to SUPPORT my girlfriend in a HEALTHY way. Because I can be co-dependent I can easily make excuses for her behavior should she fall back into it. She is clean and has been for a little over a year. I just want the support and understan...

LinSC · LinSC

:) I appreciate it....

Living508 · Living508

grateful member of al anon for several years. father is my qualifier. haven't been able to get to meeting lately due to health problems and a difficult pregnancy while caring for another young child with a husband who works away. anyway, dad went into rehab a few years ago. i have never since him drink s...

howtohelp · howtohelp

I don't know where else to turn. I don't want to walk away from her. She became my employee. We became close friends. She doesn't like to feel, she opened up to me. It took her two years to get on her GED and in two months time I had her done with three of the 4 tests. I pushed and pushed so she got her community pr...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Something weird happened to my account and maybe one of the moderators can address it in this thread or privately. I logged in and first off I had started a topic and usually that is saved to draft for the next time I log in that is gone. Everything on the site looks like it has been read. Is there a reason...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning- Today's reading speaks about the practicing our program tools and keeping an open mind, with a specific mention of meditationband how restorative that practice can be. The writer compares meditation to checking in with her HP as she hornets through life. When meditation was first...

lookingup · lookingup

my studying up on these 2 words ....what's the difference between pity and love got my attention quick,I never had realized that my past all consisted of pity not love not true love but pity they were pitiful looking bad or wanting attention etc,lol,there I was oh so codependent me falling for it every...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I continue to live apart from my husband, and for our kids to split our time between both homes. My heart is shutting down more and more, and I have pretty much concluded I can no longer be married in a situation where recovery is not truly sought, but lying and denial abound. I struggle just writing the...

Mattie · Mattie

This article on the statistics about drinking in the U.S. provides food for thought: "30 percent of American adults don't drink at all. Another 30 percent consume, on average, less than one drink per week. On the other hand, the top 10 percent of American adults - 24 million of them - consume an a...

lookingup · lookingup

As to sticking with my program and remembering the tools that's helped me through some tough sit.ive often thought about how many times I've been in my recovery and dropped it over 20 year span,wow,long time .Today my new tool that keeps popping in my head every time I feel myself wanting to run away so t...

Fedora · Fedora

Hello. I'm here out of desperation; I read thread after thread last night and wept, since I could have written way too many of them. I have looked for an in-person Al-Anon group in my town and found one, although it doesn't meet until next week. As an introduction, my spouse has always been a drinker but I...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I started thinking about fear and risk in my life and I wrote this poem. I thought I would share it here as this came out of reflecting on my al-anon tools and looking at my resistance to making decisions in my life. maybe it will spark something for someone.

remember,"Safety Third"my de...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

Tonight my AH is playing mind games and I've opted out. Not my kind of party. He was snooping in one of my journals, but doesn't want to talk to me, then of course the whole thing is my fault for various reasons . . . Lots of insanity. I'm glad my alanon tools kept me calm and clear, and glad I could detatch whe...

petey49 · petey49

He has been a heavy drinker since 2009. For at least the past 2 years (when I started to keep track) he has been drinking 1.75 litres of whiskey every 5 to 6 days. Last Friday morning (18 March), after a fight (it had been at least 12 hours since his last drink), I finally told him that I was concerned abo...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's ODAT page is a gentle reminder of the importance of developing and maintaining a positive focus as we progress in our recovery. There is certainly relief when we first find AlAnon and find that we are not alone, and become aware that others can relate to the fears and struggles that we may share...

caprilyeous · caprilyeous

Hello All, This is not only my first time posting to this board, but my first time with Al-Anon. I've been dealing with two alcoholics in the family for years pretty much by myself and tonight I just needed help, some one to lend an ear and maybe offer some words of wisdom. So let me tell you why I am here......

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Good Morning....Aloha Kakahiaka (Preview) Happy Easter Eve...I'm up checking in with you family, putting the finishing touches on the morning meal donation to the "Easter Feaster" annual breakfast at my Saturday AA Home Group AA at the bay. Every year we do an Easter and Christmas feed and we eat after the meeting. It is quiet in our house th...	Jerry F	4	569	Mar 28, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage To Change 28/3 (Preview) I'm posting this a little early because it's Monday night here and I might not get a chance later on. Today's c2c speaks of the pain of trying to hold onto something. It suggests that when we trust our HP to give us what we need, we can let go instead and look forward, and our hands become free for new and wond...	missmeliss	4	390	Mar 28, 2016 by Mirandac
	What it all boils down to is: (Preview) When it comes to your qualifier you can't tell them what to do or try to control them, or situations you can't have expectations of them, that will only hurt you Believe me they really are not listening to you taking their inventory is a waste of your precious time what you can do is immerse yourself into A...	LinSC	3	443	Mar 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Happy Easter! (Preview) Happy Easter! Today was a good day. Thinking back on past Easters and holidays I realized how lucky I am to have had this holiday with no drama. Having no contact with my AH has allowed me to heal in ways that I never thought possible. My kids say I seem more at ease and not stressed out. Just the sound of h...	pjwa12726	5	366	Mar 28, 2016 by Fooled
	Controlling People and events (Preview) "I spent most of my life doing the Serenity prayer backwards, that is, trying to change the external things over which I had no control - other people and life events mostly - and taking no responsibility (except shaming and blaming myself) for my own internal process - over which I can have some degree...	LinSC	2	453	Mar 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Praying for serenity; not off to a good start (Preview) This has been a very difficult week. Last week, I posted that my AH crossed a new boundary - being real drunk in front of the kids, where they witnessed a lot of the negatives of the disease. Although he admitted that night that he had been drinking, the next day he told them he was not drinking - it was the m...	oceanpine	4	551	Mar 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	Detaching with Love (Preview) Well it has been months since I have had to deal with my ex-A so naturally my emotional state is healing and my trauma is healing. I know my trauma is subsiding because my logical clarity is returning. This brings me to detaching with love vs detaching. I finally get that detaching with love is emotiona...	Truth	4	542	Mar 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	Why do I keep doing this to myself? (Preview) He seems sober tonight...which is good Something is under the surface though and I don't know what it is....A constant circle of questions is going through my head. I have verbalized my boundaries. But he hasn't followed them before. He even admitted when he came home from rehab, the more I got on h...	Fooled	26	932	Mar 27, 2016 by Fooled
	Courage to Change 3-27-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 27 speaks about learning how to live within alanon principles. It points out that many times, before program, we have lived from crisis to crisis because it was the only way we knew or understood. The reading suggests the alanon's 12 Traditions are part of recovery and h...	hotrod	3	530	Mar 27, 2016 by missmeliss
	Recovering (Preview) Hi, This is my first post here. I hope this is the right place to ask.... I have been seeing a man for about a year and a half. When I first met him I did not realize that he was an alcoholic-- he hid it very well, but shortly after it became obvious. Vodka was his drink of choice...he would buy nips and drink sev...	hopeful59	3	299	Mar 27, 2016 by Lyne
	Setting boundaries or building walls? (Preview) I recognize tonight that the boundaries I set often block me from having to feel the emotions I felt when my boundaries weak. I hold it together...stand firm in my wants...and then a weakening in the boundary and flood gate of tears. I'm not dealing with emotions just putting a wall up to block them. how...	Crau	9	930	Mar 27, 2016 by Freetime
	Tragedy, Reality Check, Grateful (Preview) I recently learned a girl who grew up in my neighborhood who I liked when I was a kid had become an alcoholic. We were FB friends now but she had been very close to one of my friends from HS who I'm recently back in touch with. He so happens to be coming around to an alcohol problem himself. I was shocke...	sunmustshine	5	2700	Mar 26, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change Reading 3-26-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 26, speaks about the defects of "perfectionism, procrastination, and paralysis." It points out that these " 3 Ps", are three of the worst effects of alcoholism upon our lives. It goes on to say that many of us have a tendency to spend our time *waiting for the past* to change a...	hotrod	2	845	Mar 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Question, if anyone has a daily reader handy (Preview) Hi all. I have a question that seem obvious but i am traveling and don't have my HoPe For Today book. Someone is directing me to pg 28, so i will look it up online now. would pg 28 be January 28? thank you!	WorkingThroughIt	3	577	Mar 26, 2016 by WorkingThroughIt
	Exhausted and weary. (Preview) I have Bipolar 2 and in the middle of medication changes. In the middle of this we may lose our home and move from Washington to Tucson. I told my husband he has to go to marriage counseling or I may not go with him. In the past two days I allowed him to wipe me out with his emotional abuse. I feel so tired and don...	lucymae	1	396	Mar 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Experiencing Changge (Preview) The last few days has been filled with a ton of emotions and awareness. I had to experience a lot of acceptance and cried a bucket of tears. I have now come to acceptance about my daughter moving out and living her own life. I see that I am a control freak, I know the way and you better do it my way. I see that ev...	joker	1	344	Mar 26, 2016 by Mirandac
	LATE night shinanigans (Preview) So I had been planning all week to go out with a gal I used to work with at my old job and we try to get together about once every other week. We haven't been able to get together over the last couple of weeks. We met up at a really neat place I want to take the kids to, pool, bowling and so on, flat fee and they pla...	SerenityRUS	6	483	Mar 26, 2016 by Mirandac
	Feeling like I'm losing program friends (Preview) I am feeling very disconnected from my program friends. I still go to one meeting a week, I try to hike once a week, I also try to make it to my son's tennis tournaments when they occur, I am working a new full time job now which requires a LOT of my mental energy, and I spend a LOT of time with my bf and our kids....	andromeda	10	712	Mar 26, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Didnt see this coming (Preview) My 16 year old daughter joined a group through school for children of alcoholics, her birth father and current AH, and her paternal grandparent. She met a really nice friend in the group who has an alcoholic mother The two are pretty good friends and my daughter was a big support when the girl had to m...	Fooled	6	558	Mar 26, 2016 by hotrod
	The rewards of healthy choices (Preview) I must say I have come a long way and learned so much since starting this program. I remember how I felt when I first began, scared and hopeless. I was struggling in every area of my life. Now, today as I sit here sharing I find myself completely different. I have moved into my own apartment! Some of you know...	mjferg	7	626	Mar 25, 2016 by a4l
	Keeping it real .. lol (Preview) So the last few weeks has been a struggle to put it mildly, I don't think I have had a full paycheck for about 6 weeks now and because today is Good Friday I won't get one next week either. I have a lot of financial responsibilities wearing on me. Easter, kids birthdays, I have got to get moved, the stuff fr...	SerenityRUS	2	564	Mar 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	He's OK but eating like crazy (Preview) My A is out of rehab since March 12th. He slipped within 24 hours of being out, but is in control, not troubling me like he used to (but I know at some point it most probably will get worse). Anyway, I'm applying Al Anon tools, staying calm, taking it one day. One crazy thing though. He eats like crazy. Like,...	manas	12	648	Mar 25, 2016 by Inga
	Anger (Preview) I just had an angry outburst at my a ,it like came out like an reflex violent words I'd never use ,as I grab my Ctc and read upon anger I've come to realize that easy does it is a good tool that I can use before I act out or count to 10 or 100 with deep breaths ,my abf and a sis were fixxing to jump in her car and leave t...	lookingup	3	465	Mar 25, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/25/16 (Preview) Good morning to one and all and happy Friday! Today's reading shares about how uncertain or confused we were when we came to the Al-Anon program. The writer suggests one struggle with understanding what was our responsibility vs. what was not. A lovely list of items resulted from program effort a...	Iamhere	2	521	Mar 25, 2016 by hotrod
	The Pig Of England. (Preview) OK things have been pretty hard lately but, you know. We're rising to the challenge and that's all you can ask of yourself really. I've gone from being housebound and horribly depressed to travelling 1.5 hours each way to my uni and doing classes with live people....7 classes this semester which is mo...	missmeliss	4	612	Mar 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Needing to share (Preview) I'm gonna try and make this long story into a short story if possible,lol,I'm been hanging on to this for days now and it needs to be let out so here it is.....I get a phone call from this woman she is married but slips around on her aged veteran husband she been married to for 4 yrs and she been married 5 or 6 ti...	lookingup	4	428	Mar 25, 2016 by lookingup
	Relief (Preview) Yesterday was another nightmare, moving my daughter to her new home. We did it however and its now done. She is 22 years old in April and needs to be on her own. I am now at the house with the ABF-sober for 5 days now. He is determined as ever to stay sober this time around. I believe he hit his bottom this time....	joker	4	405	Mar 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Sick & Scared (Preview) As you guys know, I'm really struggling with an unknown physical ailment... Have been for some time. This illness has completely stolen my life, and seemingly all that is me. I feel very close to a vegetable, based on how debilitated and miserable I am. The doctors say they don't know what's wrong, but...	Jaclyn	10	611	Mar 24, 2016 by a4l
	How/when/who to get as a sponsor? (Preview) Hi there, I have been coming here for 5 months now - I am a work in progress and I truly have so much work to do. I was hoping to get clarity if, when and who I should ask to sponsor me. I have gone to my first face to face meeting and felt so much love there - I needn't see if it is the right fit for it already feel...	donnaisdone	6	570	Mar 24, 2016 by donnaisdone
	Good morning everybody (Preview) Hugs and more hugs going out to all my peeps here in alanon, loyalty and great friendship and all the Esh I need,,,,,lu	lookingup	4	425	Mar 24, 2016 by lookingup
	angry at others (Preview) I am so angry today! My daughter who I have been looking after has mental illness and is now just starting to stabilize. Its been a rough 2 years on different medication and just now she is getting better. She appears almost normal and started opening up to her psychiatrist and nurse and father. Last wee...	joker	3	731	Mar 24, 2016 by joker
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/24/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses the difficulty some of us have in viewing Alcoholism as a disease instead of a choice. It questions why an alcoholic can't just make a decision to quit and be done with it. For the writer, there was a light bulb moment when another member compared Alcoholism to Alzheimer's...	Iamhere	4	566	Mar 24, 2016 by hotrod
	Does it matter if it is alcoholism or not? (Preview) Today's C2C reading has me thinking about a conflict I am having: Soon-to-be X and I began our relationship 45 years ago. We were not in the drug scene, thank God, but drinking was just an everyday part of our lives. Of course, in no time, we were drinking alcoholicly. He comes from a family of alcoho...	Rosemeyer	2	550	Mar 24, 2016 by hotrod
	Trouble Separating the Person from the Disease (Preview) I had been having a good run. I went to a first F2F meeting and was overwhelmed with the kindness of people there. The speaker said something that unlocked so much emotion in me when it helped me to realize I had been expecting a life that didn't involve the disease. I had failed to acknowledge my AH's s...	sunmustshine	4	665	Mar 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Settings on board (Preview) How do I set me a quote for my threads ?	lookingup	2	363	Mar 24, 2016 by hotrod
	When recovery is bittersweet (Preview) As I go through this journey of recovery and am blessed with grace and the love of my higher power I often feel a deep sadness at the same time. Not only did I end the relationship with my A, he was also found dead ten months later from an overdose.So my journey has been very painful, as I have had to grieve a d...	mjferg	3	592	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage To change 23/3 (Preview) Todays c2c talks about how al-anon can help resolve the contradiction between not wanting to dwell on or be governed by past hurts and disappointments, but also not dismissing them without "dealing". The writer suggests that by joining with others in the fellowship, they feel they have been able to...	missmeliss	2	495	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Inner Child - shut up (Preview) I have this spoilt brat voice in my head at times and when things arent going exactly to my liking I revert to a child and have a wee bit of a subtle, passive manipulative tantrum. Can you relate? This relationship I am in has many beautiful things in it. When I am being a grown up and mature I appreciate it an...	el-cee	2	596	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Weird situation that has my cage well and truly rattled. (Preview) OK, it's been a full moon kinda day and that's a for sure. Earlier, daughter decided she didn't want to come to the gym/pool and so i decided to leave her at home with the dog in charge and take myself there for a "quick swim". So I rushed through my swim, and left while it was still light. It's been a crappy da...	missmeliss	11	532	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	My Son (Preview) Hello Everyone. I am new here. This is my first post. My son is 25. My son is an alcoholic. I've said it, yet I feel guilt, shame and failure. My son has been on his own off and on for 6-7 years. He always ends up coming back to mom after he has made so many bad choices in his circumstances and burned so man...	mom2_4	6	443	Mar 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	I'm losing the love of my life to AA (Preview) To begin, I know there are other older threads regarding relationships and how they are affected. This isn't easy to say and I hope I don't come across as some self centred fool but here goes... I have been with my partner for nearly 7 years (I'm 37 he's 33) and engaged for most of that time. Whilst I have no...	Tigerlily	9	671	Mar 23, 2016 by Truth
	He's different (Preview) AH and I had a couples counseling session last night with our Pastor. It was right after a verbal exchange in which it appears that he may have been untruthful regarding a large purchase and trying to recoup some of that. The exchange came when I asked him about it and he became very defensive, espec...	Fooled	8	572	Mar 23, 2016 by Fooled
	struggling (Preview) Hello, I'm new to this forum but need to get things off my chest somehow. I am the wife an alcoholic. I was brought up by an alcoholic father and ironically I'm a alcohol misuse worker! My husband has always been a heavy drinker but things started to get out of control when he suffered his second bout of dep...	scotty	7	495	Mar 23, 2016 by el-cee
	Problems with Board... (Preview) We are charged 16.95 per month for this board, and when it goes into any arrears, they start to tinker with things some to give us a wake up call. Right now we are 50.85 in arrears. S0 they have it where you can't tell new post or replies from already read ones. Because of the highlighting code on their en...	John	3	494	Mar 23, 2016 by a4l
	Support for my Girlfriend (Preview) I am here so that I can first and foremost UNDERSTAND and NOT JUDGE. I wish to SUPPORT my girlfriend in a HEALTHY way. Because I can be co-dependent I can easily make excuses for her behavior should she fall back into it. She is clean and has been for a little over a year. I just want the support and understan...	SeaMe4	5	639	Mar 23, 2016 by Jerry F
	Thank you John you fixed us.... (Preview) :) I appreciate it....	LinSC	2	345	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	punched in the gut (Preview) grateful member of al anon for several years. father is my qualifier. haven't been able to get to meeting lately due to health problems and a difficult pregnancy while caring for another young child with a husband who works away. anyway, dad went into rehab a few years ago. i have never since him drink s...	Living508	3	487	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Best Friend Recovering Addict; Graduated Drug Court, seems to be throwing me away (Preview) I don't know where else to turn. I don't want to walk away from her. She became my employee. We became close friends. She doesn't like to feel, she opened up to me. It took her two years to get on her GED and in two months time I had her done with three of the 4 tests. I pushed and pushed so she got her community pr...	howtohelp	2	518	Mar 22, 2016 by Mattie
	Site Question (Preview) Something weird happened to my account and maybe one of the moderators can address it in this thread or privately. I logged in and first off I had started a topic and usually that is saved to draft for the next time I log in that is gone. Everything on the site looks like it has been read. Is there a reason...	SerenityRUS	15	554	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today March 22 (Preview) Good morning- Today's reading speaks about the practicing our program tools and keeping an open mind, with a specific mention of meditationband how restorative that practice can be. The writer compares meditation to checking in with her HP as she hornets through life. When meditation was first...	yanksfan51	2	485	Mar 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is it pity or love? (Preview) my studying up on these 2 words ....what's the difference between pity and love got my attention quick,I never had realized that my past all consisted of pity not love not true love but pity they were pitiful looking bad or wanting attention etc,lol,there I was oh so codependent me falling for it every...	lookingup	4	789	Mar 22, 2016 by lookingup
	trusting HP but unsure of paths and messages (Preview) I continue to live apart from my husband, and for our kids to split our time between both homes. My heart is shutting down more and more, and I have pretty much concluded I can no longer be married in a situation where recovery is not truly sought, but lying and denial abound. I struggle just writing the...	oceanpine	3	478	Mar 21, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	Food for thought (Preview) This article on the statistics about drinking in the U.S. provides food for thought: "30 percent of American adults don't drink at all. Another 30 percent consume, on average, less than one drink per week. On the other hand, the top 10 percent of American adults - 24 million of them - consume an a...	Mattie	9	598	Mar 21, 2016 by a4l
	My Honest Share !!!!! (Preview) As to sticking with my program and remembering the tools that's helped me through some tough sit.ive often thought about how many times I've been in my recovery and dropped it over 20 year span,wow,long time .Today my new tool that keeps popping in my head every time I feel myself wanting to run away so t...	lookingup	7	617	Mar 21, 2016 by lookingup
	Head In Sand (Preview) Hello. I'm here out of desperation; I read thread after thread last night and wept, since I could have written way too many of them. I have looked for an in-person Al-Anon group in my town and found one, although it doesn't meet until next week. As an introduction, my spouse has always been a drinker but I...	Fedora	22	1029	Mar 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	a poem (Preview) I started thinking about fear and risk in my life and I wrote this poem. I thought I would share it here as this came out of reflecting on my al-anon tools and looking at my resistance to making decisions in my life. maybe it will spark something for someone. remember,"Safety Third"my de...	Taraxacum	8	633	Mar 21, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Keeping the focus. . . (Preview) Tonight my AH is playing mind games and I've opted out. Not my kind of party. He was snooping in one of my journals, but doesn't want to talk to me, then of course the whole thing is my fault for various reasons . . . Lots of insanity. I'm glad my alanon tools kept me calm and clear, and glad I could detatch whe...	Taraxacum	12	724	Mar 21, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Now what??? Will the other shoe fall??? (Preview) He has been a heavy drinker since 2009. For at least the past 2 years (when I started to keep track) he has been drinking 1.75 litres of whiskey every 5 to 6 days. Last Friday morning (18 March), after a fight (it had been at least 12 hours since his last drink), I finally told him that I was concerned abo...	petey49	5	541	Mar 21, 2016 by Mattie
	ODAT 3-21: Focusing on Progress in Al-Anon (Preview) Today's ODAT page is a gentle reminder of the importance of developing and maintaining a positive focus as we progress in our recovery. There is certainly relief when we first find AlAnon and find that we are not alone, and become aware that others can relate to the fears and struggles that we may share...	Enigmatic	3	482	Mar 21, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) Hello All, This is not only my first time posting to this board, but my first time with Al-Anon. I've been dealing with two alcoholics in the family for years pretty much by myself and tonight I just needed help, some one to lend an ear and maybe offer some words of wisdom. So let me tell you why I am here......	caprilyeous	5	571	Mar 21, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.