Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Doves · Doves

Please read my private messages to you as I need your help

hotrod · hotrod

Step 6 has been posted to teh Step Work Board-- Please join in and share your ESH Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61912861/alanon-step-6-3-31-2016/

Iamhere · Iamhere

It's the last day of March and I hope each of you have a great day! Today's Courage to Change reading talks about how many of us who have lived with alcoholism truly begin to grow up for the first time when we reach Al-Anon. We learn to face the real world and to own our actions/reactions. We begin toI beco...

Aerin · Aerin

Hello everyone! This is my first time ever posting to a board like this. I have read through a lot of your posts and they have helped. But I am so new that I am still learning. I hope I make sense in my post so here goes.. I am 45, my boyfriend is 44. We are both divorced with a child each. We do not live together. (...

joker · joker

Yesterday, it was another nightmare. We went to church and my sister called me and asked me to drive her truck after church. The abf got mad, as I was going to my sisters. I see he is trying to isolate me and not let me have any outside contacts. He got mad and left. He lost his drivers license so I have to drive...

Doves · Doves

just really frazzled right now over today's events and incidents. Send prayers, really need them right now and praying this situation that arose today gets straighten up soon so I can enjoy my recovery.

Doves · Doves

when you are online please look at your private message as I sent you one as I need administration help. Thanks

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c reading speaks of the confusion and resistance many of us feel when we arrive at al-anon and are told to "keep the focus on ourselves". Many of us reject this notion because it sounds so foreign, selfish and similar to the way our qualifiers behave so, why would we ever want to be like that? The...

Doves · Doves

Hotrod: I private messaged you and need your help. Thanks

Fooled · Fooled

I am so hard on myself and always feel like I am not doing things correctly. Had a rough day earlier this week with RAH and forgetting my tools and allowing my teen daughter to manipulate me a little. Was very frustrated with myself and my process. This morning, my handicapped sons aide came to me v...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

Since AH "fell love with another woman", he moved out and has been living with a friend and his wife, rent-free. He has filed for divorce, and we are in the 90-day waiting period before it is finalized. He was a dry drunk, and I have no idea if he is drinking now - it's irrelevant. He is so full of anger, and...

littlelionman · littlelionman

First off I want to acknowledge the progress I've made in managing my emotions when my kids act up. Kids will be kids and for the most part I'm happy with the way I'm becoming a more patient and loving parent. That said, getting my kids to stay in bed after bedtime can be frustrating at times. Bedtime is 8...

joker · joker

Its been a nightmare around the house since Sunday when the ABF started drinking after church. I went to my basement suite in the house and let him be. I heard him walking around the house all day and night and talking to himself non stop. I listened to music and TV downstairs to drown his voice out. It work...

Lookingup1230 · Lookingup1230

follow up to my last post. Is it better to attend Al Anon alone, or with family involved? thanks!

Crau · Crau

An alcoholic (active or in recovery) will always have an enabler. True or False? Discuss. I write this not to put focus on the alcoholic but to get us thinking about ourselves and our roles our own lives. And enabling can looks so different; even when the alcoholic is not longer drinking and we ar...

Sober Bunny · Sober Bunny

Dear all, I'm copy/pasting a post I made on another AA board here as I'm too emotionally exhausted right now to relive all this by rewording it. I posted there first because while a little ESH is always a good thing, what I'm really looking for most is advice from those in AA on what they feel is appropriat...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a little more than a slip and slide this weekend on my own recovery I have to admit .. I really only feel badly for the fact I was not parent of the year .. I absolutely do not feel badly at all for it though. I was not rude, I was bluntly honest and sometimes other people's ignorance needs a swift yet prec...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Today was my face to face meeting. I have been attending this meeting for a year now and it is a great, diverse group that I am privileged to share this journey with. However, with a group of any size, sometimes there are things that will rub others wrong. I generally get along with everyone, but every n...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am actually flowing through life right this moment without any major hiccups which is very nice. I accepted my first RN position and it may be hairy for a few months until we move to our new spot with commuting, but with all we have made it through I know we can do it. We have been house hunting which is fun,...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

I told AH last week that he had till end of day Friday to set up some kind of treatment plan or I was going to leave (5 months pregnant with out two year old in tow). I needed some kind of commitment from him, no more promises to go to a meeting, or plans to call a counselor. He's been sick for 10+ years and only tr...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Yesterday was my oldest son's birthday - he turned 24. He's got two little ones, works and goes to school. This is the son who relapsed but is in recovery, sort of....he goes to meetings but suggests he doesn't have time, blah, blah, blah! So for the last 2 weeks (really that last 10 years), I've been tr...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

_Good morning everyone- Today's reading is a focus on our slogan "Let Go and Let God". The writer acknowledges when her A left their home, she was very good at the first part of the slogan and let everything go- friends, meetings, readings. She, like many of us (at least initially) believed if the A wer...

Love-rain · Love-rain

Hi all I'm a 26yo woman, still living at home (don't panic, it's not unusual in this country) with my alcoholic dad and apparently severely depressed mum. I've been going to alanon for over two years and doing really well, despite not having a HP (I'm agnostic). I think this is starting to be a problem. I...

FHP · FHP

I tried to post this yesterday but it didn't work. I made some changes, and will try again. Apologies if this shows up twice... My husband of more than 40 years has just discovered he's an alcoholic. He doesn't get drunk, at least not since college days, and has maybe one drink a year. But after retireme...

Fooled · Fooled

Nothing is good enough for you....Its harder than you think....You don't understand Those were his words to me as he walked out the door to his favorite AA meeting. For weeks now made every attempt to get dinner out on time so he can get to his meetings, 5 6 nights a week. Doing my absolute best and work...

Lookingup1230 · Lookingup1230

i am new to the board and am hoping you can help. I have an adult nephew I have not really seen much in years. He is an amazing person, but had a hard childhood (divorce, mom is bipolar, tension with a demanding stepmother and more) He has been a heavy drinker for over 20 years, but decided to stop, move away...

alcamp · alcamp

After struggling with addiction for at least eight years, my husband went to rehab last month. It was incredibly difficult, as I was left at home with our children, businesses and farm to take care of. We made it through and he did great in rehab. His spirits were so good. He was positive. He was pro...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Haven't been on here for awhile. I have been sick but it is all over now. I am frustrated today. But, it can't been helped right this minute. My AH has been struggling w/ the tax forms again. I wish I could help him & get it over w/ We haven't had to fill out taxes for a long time since recently. Long story....

Jerry F · Jerry F

Happy Easter Eve...I'm up checking in with you family, putting the finishing touches on the morning meal donation to the "Easter Feaster" annual breakfast at my Saturday AA Home Group AA at the bay. Every year we do an Easter and Christmas feed and we eat after the meeting. It is quiet in our house th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I'm posting this a little early because it's Monday night here and I might not get a chance later on. Today's c2c speaks of the pain of trying to hold onto something. It suggests that when we trust our HP to give us what we need, we can let go instead and look forward, and our hands become free for new and wond...

LinSC · LinSC

When it comes to your qualifier you can't tell them what to do or try to control them, or situations you can't have expectations of them, that will only hurt you Believe me they really are not listening to you taking their inventory is a waste of your precious time what you can do is immerse yourself into A...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

Happy Easter! Today was a good day. Thinking back on past Easters and holidays I realized how lucky I am to have had this holiday with no drama. Having no contact with my AH has allowed me to heal in ways that I never thought possible. My kids say I seem more at ease and not stressed out. Just the sound of h...

LinSC · LinSC

"I spent most of my life doing the Serenity prayer backwards, that is, trying to change the external things over which I had no control - other people and life events mostly - and taking no responsibility (except shaming and blaming myself) for my own internal process - over which I can have some degree...

oceanpine · oceanpine

This has been a very difficult week. Last week, I posted that my AH crossed a new boundary - being real drunk in front of the kids, where they witnessed a lot of the negatives of the disease. Although he admitted that night that he had been drinking, the next day he told them he was not drinking - it was the m...

Truth · Truth

Well it has been months since I have had to deal with my ex-A so naturally my emotional state is healing and my trauma is healing. I know my trauma is subsiding because my logical clarity is returning. This brings me to detaching with love vs detaching. I finally get that detaching with love is emotiona...

Fooled · Fooled

He seems sober tonight...which is good Something is under the surface though and I don't know what it is....A constant circle of questions is going through my head. I have verbalized my boundaries. But he hasn't followed them before. He even admitted when he came home from rehab, the more I got on h...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 27 speaks about learning how to live within alanon principles. It points out that many times, before program, we have lived from crisis to crisis because it was the only way we knew or understood. The reading suggests the alanon's 12 Traditions are part of recovery and h...

hopeful59 · hopeful59

Hi, This is my first post here. I hope this is the right place to ask.... I have been seeing a man for about a year and a half. When I first met him I did not realize that he was an alcoholic-- he hid it very well, but shortly after it became obvious. Vodka was his drink of choice...he would buy nips and drink sev...

Crau · Crau

I recognize tonight that the boundaries I set often block me from having to feel the emotions I felt when my boundaries weak. I hold it together...stand firm in my wants...and then a weakening in the boundary and flood gate of tears. I'm not dealing with emotions just putting a wall up to block them. how...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I recently learned a girl who grew up in my neighborhood who I liked when I was a kid had become an alcoholic. We were FB friends now but she had been very close to one of my friends from HS who I'm recently back in touch with. He so happens to be coming around to an alcohol problem himself. I was shocke...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for March 26, speaks about the defects of "perfectionism, procrastination, and paralysis." It points out that these " 3 Ps", are three of the worst effects of alcoholism upon our lives. It goes on to say that many of us have a tendency to spend our time waiting for the past to change a...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi all. I have a question that seem obvious but i am traveling and don't have my HoPe For Today book. Someone is directing me to pg 28, so i will look it up online now. would pg 28 be January 28? thank you!

lucymae · lucymae

I have Bipolar 2 and in the middle of medication changes. In the middle of this we may lose our home and move from Washington to Tucson. I told my husband he has to go to marriage counseling or I may not go with him. In the past two days I allowed him to wipe me out with his emotional abuse. I feel so tired and don...

joker · joker

The last few days has been filled with a ton of emotions and awareness. I had to experience a lot of acceptance and cried a bucket of tears. I have now come to acceptance about my daughter moving out and living her own life. I see that I am a control freak, I know the way and you better do it my way. I see that ev...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I had been planning all week to go out with a gal I used to work with at my old job and we try to get together about once every other week. We haven't been able to get together over the last couple of weeks. We met up at a really neat place I want to take the kids to, pool, bowling and so on, flat fee and they pla...

andromeda · andromeda

I am feeling very disconnected from my program friends. I still go to one meeting a week, I try to hike once a week, I also try to make it to my son's tennis tournaments when they occur, I am working a new full time job now which requires a LOT of my mental energy, and I spend a LOT of time with my bf and our kids....

Fooled · Fooled

My 16 year old daughter joined a group through school for children of alcoholics, her birth father and current AH, and her paternal grandparent. She met a really nice friend in the group who has an alcoholic mother The two are pretty good friends and my daughter was a big support when the girl had to m...

mjferg · mjferg

I must say I have come a long way and learned so much since starting this program. I remember how I felt when I first began, scared and hopeless. I was struggling in every area of my life. Now, today as I sit here sharing I find myself completely different. I have moved into my own apartment! Some of you know...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So the last few weeks has been a struggle to put it mildly, I don't think I have had a full paycheck for about 6 weeks now and because today is Good Friday I won't get one next week either. I have a lot of financial responsibilities wearing on me. Easter, kids birthdays, I have got to get moved, the stuff fr...

manas · manas

My A is out of rehab since March 12th. He slipped within 24 hours of being out, but is in control, not troubling me like he used to (but I know at some point it most probably will get worse). Anyway, I'm applying Al Anon tools, staying calm, taking it one day. One crazy thing though. He eats like crazy. Like,...

lookingup · lookingup

I just had an angry outburst at my a ,it like came out like an reflex violent words I'd never use ,as I grab my Ctc and read upon anger I've come to realize that easy does it is a good tool that I can use before I act out or count to 10 or 100 with deep breaths ,my abf and a sis were fixxing to jump in her car and leave t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning to one and all and happy Friday! Today's reading shares about how uncertain or confused we were when we came to the Al-Anon program. The writer suggests one struggle with understanding what was our responsibility vs. what was not. A lovely list of items resulted from program effort a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

OK things have been pretty hard lately but, you know. We're rising to the challenge and that's all you can ask of yourself really. I've gone from being housebound and horribly depressed to travelling 1.5 hours each way to my uni and doing classes with live people....7 classes this semester which is mo...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm gonna try and make this long story into a short story if possible,lol,I'm been hanging on to this for days now and it needs to be let out so here it is.....I get a phone call from this woman she is married but slips around on her aged veteran husband she been married to for 4 yrs and she been married 5 or 6 ti...

joker · joker

Yesterday was another nightmare, moving my daughter to her new home. We did it however and its now done. She is 22 years old in April and needs to be on her own. I am now at the house with the ABF-sober for 5 days now. He is determined as ever to stay sober this time around. I believe he hit his bottom this time....

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

As you guys know, I'm really struggling with an unknown physical ailment... Have been for some time. This illness has completely stolen my life, and seemingly all that is me. I feel very close to a vegetable, based on how debilitated and miserable I am. The doctors say they don't know what's wrong, but...

donnaisdone · donnaisdone

Hi there, I have been coming here for 5 months now - I am a work in progress and I truly have so much work to do. I was hoping to get clarity if, when and who I should ask to sponsor me. I have gone to my first face to face meeting and felt so much love there - I needn't see if it is the right fit for it already feel...

lookingup · lookingup

Hugs and more hugs going out to all my peeps here in alanon, loyalty and great friendship and all the Esh I need,,,,,lu

joker · joker

I am so angry today! My daughter who I have been looking after has mental illness and is now just starting to stabilize. Its been a rough 2 years on different medication and just now she is getting better. She appears almost normal and started opening up to her psychiatrist and nurse and father. Last wee...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses the difficulty some of us have in viewing Alcoholism as a disease instead of a choice. It questions why an alcoholic can't just make a decision to quit and be done with it. For the writer, there was a light bulb moment when another member compared Alcoholism to Alzheimer's...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	If Iamhere is on the board right now (Preview) Please read my private messages to you as I need your help	Doves	9	640	Mar 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Step 6 (Preview) Step 6 has been posted to teh Step Work Board-- Please join in and share your ESH Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61912861/alanon-step-6-3-31-2016/	hotrod	1	487	Mar 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/31/16 (Preview) It's the last day of March and I hope each of you have a great day! Today's Courage to Change reading talks about how many of us who have lived with alcoholism truly begin to grow up for the first time when we reach Al-Anon. We learn to face the real world and to own our actions/reactions. We begin toI beco...	Iamhere	3	764	Mar 31, 2016 by hotrod
	I am brand new here-Boyfriend binge drinker-I cannot trust him (Preview) Hello everyone! This is my first time ever posting to a board like this. I have read through a lot of your posts and they have helped. But I am so new that I am still learning. I hope I make sense in my post so here goes.. I am 45, my boyfriend is 44. We are both divorced with a child each. We do not live together. (...	Aerin	5	558	Mar 31, 2016 by Aerin
	another insane day (Preview) Yesterday, it was another nightmare. We went to church and my sister called me and asked me to drive her truck after church. The abf got mad, as I was going to my sisters. I see he is trying to isolate me and not let me have any outside contacts. He got mad and left. He lost his drivers license so I have to drive...	joker	8	624	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	So upset (Preview) just really frazzled right now over today's events and incidents. Send prayers, really need them right now and praying this situation that arose today gets straighten up soon so I can enjoy my recovery.	Doves	3	329	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	To Jerry F (Preview) when you are online please look at your private message as I sent you one as I need administration help. Thanks	Doves	7	501	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	Courage To Change 30/3 (Preview) Todays c2c reading speaks of the confusion and resistance many of us feel when we arrive at al-anon and are told to "keep the focus on ourselves". Many of us reject this notion because it sounds so foreign, selfish and similar to the way our qualifiers behave so, why would we ever want to be like that? The...	missmeliss	2	398	Mar 30, 2016 by hotrod
	If hotrod is on here (Preview) Hotrod: I private messaged you and need your help. Thanks	Doves	0	362	Mar 30, 2016 by Doves
	Learning (Preview) I am so hard on myself and always feel like I am not doing things correctly. Had a rough day earlier this week with RAH and forgetting my tools and allowing my teen daughter to manipulate me a little. Was very frustrated with myself and my process. This morning, my handicapped sons aide came to me v...	Fooled	4	388	Mar 30, 2016 by Fooled
	Detatching when you have to negotiate (Preview) Since AH "fell love with another woman", he moved out and has been living with a friend and his wife, rent-free. He has filed for divorce, and we are in the 90-day waiting period before it is finalized. He was a dry drunk, and I have no idea if he is drinking now - it's irrelevant. He is so full of anger, and...	Rosemeyer	6	569	Mar 30, 2016 by Rosemeyer
	Managing frustration at kid's bedtime (Preview) First off I want to acknowledge the progress I've made in managing my emotions when my kids act up. Kids will be kids and for the most part I'm happy with the way I'm becoming a more patient and loving parent. That said, getting my kids to stay in bed after bedtime can be frustrating at times. Bedtime is 8...	littlelionman	6	552	Mar 30, 2016 by Breakingfree
	I did it (Preview) Its been a nightmare around the house since Sunday when the ABF started drinking after church. I went to my basement suite in the house and let him be. I heard him walking around the house all day and night and talking to himself non stop. I listened to music and TV downstairs to drown his voice out. It work...	joker	4	463	Mar 30, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Follow up question. Sorry... (Preview) follow up to my last post. Is it better to attend Al Anon alone, or with family involved? thanks!	Lookingup1230	9	697	Mar 30, 2016 by Lookingup1230
	True or False? (Preview) An alcoholic (active or in recovery) will always have an enabler. True or False? Discuss. I write this not to put focus on the alcoholic but to get us thinking about ourselves and our roles our own lives. And enabling can looks so different; even when the alcoholic is not longer drinking and we ar...	Crau	7	630	Mar 30, 2016 by hotrod
	Girlfriend fudging steps...what to do/not do? (Preview) Dear all, I'm copy/pasting a post I made on another AA board here as I'm too emotionally exhausted right now to relive all this by rewording it. I posted there first because while a little ESH is always a good thing, what I'm really looking for most is advice from those in AA on what they feel is appropriat...	Sober Bunny	5	680	Mar 29, 2016 by Mattie
	My Holiday Slip .. (Preview) I had a little more than a slip and slide this weekend on my own recovery I have to admit .. I really only feel badly for the fact I was not parent of the year .. I absolutely do not feel badly at all for it though. I was not rude, I was bluntly honest and sometimes other people's ignorance needs a swift yet prec...	SerenityRUS	2	504	Mar 29, 2016 by hotrod
	More miracles (Preview) Today was my face to face meeting. I have been attending this meeting for a year now and it is a great, diverse group that I am privileged to share this journey with. However, with a group of any size, sometimes there are things that will rub others wrong. I generally get along with everyone, but every n...	Bethany66	2	424	Mar 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Reminiscing of leaving the AH and where I went from there..... (Preview) I am actually flowing through life right this moment without any major hiccups which is very nice. I accepted my first RN position and it may be hairy for a few months until we move to our new spot with commuting, but with all we have made it through I know we can do it. We have been house hunting which is fun,...	Breakingfree	6	638	Mar 29, 2016 by el-cee
	I did what I said I would do...now having a hard time sticking it out. (Preview) I told AH last week that he had till end of day Friday to set up some kind of treatment plan or I was going to leave (5 months pregnant with out two year old in tow). I needed some kind of commitment from him, no more promises to go to a meeting, or plans to call a counselor. He's been sick for 10+ years and only tr...	CoopsMom	14	703	Mar 29, 2016 by KT2015
	My Heart Hurts....This Disease Stinks! (Preview) Yesterday was my oldest son's birthday - he turned 24. He's got two little ones, works and goes to school. This is the son who relapsed but is in recovery, sort of....he goes to meetings but suggests he doesn't have time, blah, blah, blah! So for the last 2 weeks (really that last 10 years), I've been tr...	Iamhere	17	796	Mar 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Mar 29 (Preview) _Good morning everyone- Today's reading is a focus on our slogan "Let Go and Let God". The writer acknowledges when her A left their home, she was very good at the first part of the slogan and let everything go- friends, meetings, readings. She, like many of us (at least initially) believed if the A wer...	yanksfan51	3	513	Mar 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Will it ever get better? adult child alcoholic father help depressed mother AF higher power my life is a mess and i am a stress (Preview) Hi all I'm a 26yo woman, still living at home (don't panic, it's not unusual in this country) with my alcoholic dad and apparently severely depressed mum. I've been going to alanon for over two years and doing really well, despite not having a HP (I'm agnostic). I think this is starting to be a problem. I...	Love-rain	8	7061	Mar 29, 2016 by Mirandac
	Separated and hurting (Preview) I tried to post this yesterday but it didn't work. I made some changes, and will try again. Apologies if this shows up twice... My husband of more than 40 years has just discovered he's an alcoholic. He doesn't get drunk, at least not since college days, and has maybe one drink a year. But after retireme...	FHP	9	582	Mar 29, 2016 by FHP
	Excuses Excuses (Preview) Nothing is good enough for you....Its harder than you think....You don't understand Those were his words to me as he walked out the door to his favorite AA meeting. For weeks now made every attempt to get dinner out on time so he can get to his meetings, 5 6 nights a week. Doing my absolute best and work...	Fooled	5	512	Mar 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Advice please....is this enabling? (Preview) i am new to the board and am hoping you can help. I have an adult nephew I have not really seen much in years. He is an amazing person, but had a hard childhood (divorce, mom is bipolar, tension with a demanding stepmother and more) He has been a heavy drinker for over 20 years, but decided to stop, move away...	Lookingup1230	3	543	Mar 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Just out of rehab and relapsed. (Preview) After struggling with addiction for at least eight years, my husband went to rehab last month. It was incredibly difficult, as I was left at home with our children, businesses and farm to take care of. We made it through and he did great in rehab. His spirits were so good. He was positive. He was pro...	alcamp	9	596	Mar 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	haven't been on here... (Preview) Haven't been on here for awhile. I have been sick but it is all over now. I am frustrated today. But, it can't been helped right this minute. My AH has been struggling w/ the tax forms again. I wish I could help him & get it over w/ We haven't had to fill out taxes for a long time since recently. Long story....	Hoot Nanny	3	424	Mar 28, 2016 by hotrod
	Good Morning....Aloha Kakahiaka (Preview) Happy Easter Eve...I'm up checking in with you family, putting the finishing touches on the morning meal donation to the "Easter Feaster" annual breakfast at my Saturday AA Home Group AA at the bay. Every year we do an Easter and Christmas feed and we eat after the meeting. It is quiet in our house th...	Jerry F	4	588	Mar 28, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage To Change 28/3 (Preview) I'm posting this a little early because it's Monday night here and I might not get a chance later on. Today's c2c speaks of the pain of trying to hold onto something. It suggests that when we trust our HP to give us what we need, we can let go instead and look forward, and our hands become free for new and wond...	missmeliss	4	412	Mar 28, 2016 by Mirandac
	What it all boils down to is: (Preview) When it comes to your qualifier you can't tell them what to do or try to control them, or situations you can't have expectations of them, that will only hurt you Believe me they really are not listening to you taking their inventory is a waste of your precious time what you can do is immerse yourself into A...	LinSC	3	464	Mar 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Happy Easter! (Preview) Happy Easter! Today was a good day. Thinking back on past Easters and holidays I realized how lucky I am to have had this holiday with no drama. Having no contact with my AH has allowed me to heal in ways that I never thought possible. My kids say I seem more at ease and not stressed out. Just the sound of h...	pjwa12726	5	383	Mar 28, 2016 by Fooled
	Controlling People and events (Preview) "I spent most of my life doing the Serenity prayer backwards, that is, trying to change the external things over which I had no control - other people and life events mostly - and taking no responsibility (except shaming and blaming myself) for my own internal process - over which I can have some degree...	LinSC	2	477	Mar 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Praying for serenity; not off to a good start (Preview) This has been a very difficult week. Last week, I posted that my AH crossed a new boundary - being real drunk in front of the kids, where they witnessed a lot of the negatives of the disease. Although he admitted that night that he had been drinking, the next day he told them he was not drinking - it was the m...	oceanpine	4	580	Mar 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	Detaching with Love (Preview) Well it has been months since I have had to deal with my ex-A so naturally my emotional state is healing and my trauma is healing. I know my trauma is subsiding because my logical clarity is returning. This brings me to detaching with love vs detaching. I finally get that detaching with love is emotiona...	Truth	4	568	Mar 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	Why do I keep doing this to myself? (Preview) He seems sober tonight...which is good Something is under the surface though and I don't know what it is....A constant circle of questions is going through my head. I have verbalized my boundaries. But he hasn't followed them before. He even admitted when he came home from rehab, the more I got on h...	Fooled	26	968	Mar 27, 2016 by Fooled
	Courage to Change 3-27-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 27 speaks about learning how to live within alanon principles. It points out that many times, before program, we have lived from crisis to crisis because it was the only way we knew or understood. The reading suggests the alanon's 12 Traditions are part of recovery and h...	hotrod	3	574	Mar 27, 2016 by missmeliss
	Recovering (Preview) Hi, This is my first post here. I hope this is the right place to ask.... I have been seeing a man for about a year and a half. When I first met him I did not realize that he was an alcoholic-- he hid it very well, but shortly after it became obvious. Vodka was his drink of choice...he would buy nips and drink sev...	hopeful59	3	325	Mar 27, 2016 by Lyne
	Setting boundaries or building walls? (Preview) I recognize tonight that the boundaries I set often block me from having to feel the emotions I felt when my boundaries weak. I hold it together...stand firm in my wants...and then a weakening in the boundary and flood gate of tears. I'm not dealing with emotions just putting a wall up to block them. how...	Crau	9	999	Mar 27, 2016 by Freetime
	Tragedy, Reality Check, Grateful (Preview) I recently learned a girl who grew up in my neighborhood who I liked when I was a kid had become an alcoholic. We were FB friends now but she had been very close to one of my friends from HS who I'm recently back in touch with. He so happens to be coming around to an alcohol problem himself. I was shocke...	sunmustshine	5	2874	Mar 26, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change Reading 3-26-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for March 26, speaks about the defects of "perfectionism, procrastination, and paralysis." It points out that these " 3 Ps", are three of the worst effects of alcoholism upon our lives. It goes on to say that many of us have a tendency to spend our time *waiting for the past* to change a...	hotrod	2	880	Mar 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Question, if anyone has a daily reader handy (Preview) Hi all. I have a question that seem obvious but i am traveling and don't have my HoPe For Today book. Someone is directing me to pg 28, so i will look it up online now. would pg 28 be January 28? thank you!	WorkingThroughIt	3	618	Mar 26, 2016 by WorkingThroughIt
	Exhausted and weary. (Preview) I have Bipolar 2 and in the middle of medication changes. In the middle of this we may lose our home and move from Washington to Tucson. I told my husband he has to go to marriage counseling or I may not go with him. In the past two days I allowed him to wipe me out with his emotional abuse. I feel so tired and don...	lucymae	1	420	Mar 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Experiencing Changge (Preview) The last few days has been filled with a ton of emotions and awareness. I had to experience a lot of acceptance and cried a bucket of tears. I have now come to acceptance about my daughter moving out and living her own life. I see that I am a control freak, I know the way and you better do it my way. I see that ev...	joker	1	378	Mar 26, 2016 by Mirandac
	LATE night shinanigans (Preview) So I had been planning all week to go out with a gal I used to work with at my old job and we try to get together about once every other week. We haven't been able to get together over the last couple of weeks. We met up at a really neat place I want to take the kids to, pool, bowling and so on, flat fee and they pla...	SerenityRUS	6	509	Mar 26, 2016 by Mirandac
	Feeling like I'm losing program friends (Preview) I am feeling very disconnected from my program friends. I still go to one meeting a week, I try to hike once a week, I also try to make it to my son's tennis tournaments when they occur, I am working a new full time job now which requires a LOT of my mental energy, and I spend a LOT of time with my bf and our kids....	andromeda	10	736	Mar 26, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Didnt see this coming (Preview) My 16 year old daughter joined a group through school for children of alcoholics, her birth father and current AH, and her paternal grandparent. She met a really nice friend in the group who has an alcoholic mother The two are pretty good friends and my daughter was a big support when the girl had to m...	Fooled	6	584	Mar 26, 2016 by hotrod
	The rewards of healthy choices (Preview) I must say I have come a long way and learned so much since starting this program. I remember how I felt when I first began, scared and hopeless. I was struggling in every area of my life. Now, today as I sit here sharing I find myself completely different. I have moved into my own apartment! Some of you know...	mjferg	7	652	Mar 25, 2016 by a4l
	Keeping it real .. lol (Preview) So the last few weeks has been a struggle to put it mildly, I don't think I have had a full paycheck for about 6 weeks now and because today is Good Friday I won't get one next week either. I have a lot of financial responsibilities wearing on me. Easter, kids birthdays, I have got to get moved, the stuff fr...	SerenityRUS	2	608	Mar 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	He's OK but eating like crazy (Preview) My A is out of rehab since March 12th. He slipped within 24 hours of being out, but is in control, not troubling me like he used to (but I know at some point it most probably will get worse). Anyway, I'm applying Al Anon tools, staying calm, taking it one day. One crazy thing though. He eats like crazy. Like,...	manas	12	669	Mar 25, 2016 by Inga
	Anger (Preview) I just had an angry outburst at my a ,it like came out like an reflex violent words I'd never use ,as I grab my Ctc and read upon anger I've come to realize that easy does it is a good tool that I can use before I act out or count to 10 or 100 with deep breaths ,my abf and a sis were fixxing to jump in her car and leave t...	lookingup	3	490	Mar 25, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/25/16 (Preview) Good morning to one and all and happy Friday! Today's reading shares about how uncertain or confused we were when we came to the Al-Anon program. The writer suggests one struggle with understanding what was our responsibility vs. what was not. A lovely list of items resulted from program effort a...	Iamhere	2	567	Mar 25, 2016 by hotrod
	The Pig Of England. (Preview) OK things have been pretty hard lately but, you know. We're rising to the challenge and that's all you can ask of yourself really. I've gone from being housebound and horribly depressed to travelling 1.5 hours each way to my uni and doing classes with live people....7 classes this semester which is mo...	missmeliss	4	641	Mar 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Needing to share (Preview) I'm gonna try and make this long story into a short story if possible,lol,I'm been hanging on to this for days now and it needs to be let out so here it is.....I get a phone call from this woman she is married but slips around on her aged veteran husband she been married to for 4 yrs and she been married 5 or 6 ti...	lookingup	4	455	Mar 25, 2016 by lookingup
	Relief (Preview) Yesterday was another nightmare, moving my daughter to her new home. We did it however and its now done. She is 22 years old in April and needs to be on her own. I am now at the house with the ABF-sober for 5 days now. He is determined as ever to stay sober this time around. I believe he hit his bottom this time....	joker	4	434	Mar 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Sick & Scared (Preview) As you guys know, I'm really struggling with an unknown physical ailment... Have been for some time. This illness has completely stolen my life, and seemingly all that is me. I feel very close to a vegetable, based on how debilitated and miserable I am. The doctors say they don't know what's wrong, but...	Jaclyn	10	636	Mar 24, 2016 by a4l
	How/when/who to get as a sponsor? (Preview) Hi there, I have been coming here for 5 months now - I am a work in progress and I truly have so much work to do. I was hoping to get clarity if, when and who I should ask to sponsor me. I have gone to my first face to face meeting and felt so much love there - I needn't see if it is the right fit for it already feel...	donnaisdone	6	594	Mar 24, 2016 by donnaisdone
	Good morning everybody (Preview) Hugs and more hugs going out to all my peeps here in alanon, loyalty and great friendship and all the Esh I need,,,,,lu	lookingup	4	447	Mar 24, 2016 by lookingup
	angry at others (Preview) I am so angry today! My daughter who I have been looking after has mental illness and is now just starting to stabilize. Its been a rough 2 years on different medication and just now she is getting better. She appears almost normal and started opening up to her psychiatrist and nurse and father. Last wee...	joker	3	771	Mar 24, 2016 by joker
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/24/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses the difficulty some of us have in viewing Alcoholism as a disease instead of a choice. It questions why an alcoholic can't just make a decision to quit and be done with it. For the writer, there was a light bulb moment when another member compared Alcoholism to Alzheimer's...	Iamhere	4	593	Mar 24, 2016 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.