As I go through this journey of recovery and am blessed with grace and the love of my higher power I often feel a deep sadness at the same time. Not only did I end the relationship with my A, he was also found dead ten months later from an overdose.So my journey has been  very painful, as I have had to grieve a death. When I think about the painful life that we lived and now the joy that recovery brings, it does cause pain to think that he chose to give up. It has been six months since his death and I have gone through the grief process and I believe  I am coming to acceptance. He is no longer the bad alcoholic, and I am no longer the long- suffering girl. We did the only thing we knew how  to do. We were just two people caught in the grip of an illness. I can honesty say I only feel peace when I think of him now and I have released him from blame. I love him as my higher power loves us all. May you have peace.