The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays c2c talks about how al-anon can help resolve the contradiction between not wanting to dwell on or be governed by past hurts and disappointments, but also not dismissing them without "dealing".
The writer suggests that by joining with others in the fellowship, they feel they have been able to mourn those losses and hurts and move forward.
The writer speaks of a need to honor the feelings of hurt and sadness and to treat themself with the same care and respect they would show another al-anon member who was sharing about past hurts.
The reminder is that, accepting that pain is a part of life makes it easier to move through it and move on, leaving it behind.
The quote is from Peter Marshall- "when we long for life without.....difficulties remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under great pressure".
***
This reading is an interesting one for me as I am very much one to close the door on old hurts and forget about it. I did notice that after working the early steps, especially 4-5 I found contemplating old hurts was as not agonising or impossible for me to do anymore (I think because I did not have that old underlying certainty that I had caused them and deserved them- being released from that certainty has been a great gift of the program for me).
I hadn't thought as far as to think I might have needed to grieve or mourn those old hurts but i certainly began to make peace with them through working the steps.
Also, I didn't know who Peter Marshall was (other than my step-dad's uncle lol) so I looked up this quote and he was apparently an early 20th century Scottish clergyman. Random, I know, but I like to know these things, and it's a good quote, it sums up my view of suffering quite nicely
-- Edited by missmeliss on Wednesday 23rd of March 2016 06:50:57 AM
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Thanks for sharing today's reading Ms. M. Feeling , feelings,, sharing them and then Letting Them Go is an extremely important tool of the alanon program.
Before program, I would always deny my feelings and pretend all was well. This kept them "stuck" within where I harbored old anger, resentment, self pity and fear Thanks to program these have been lifted and i now feel serenity.
Thanks for your service Have a great day
Great daily reading - thanks MissMel for the ESH, the daily and your service.
I was a huge 'runner' before the program. Pain, anger, resentments, sadness, shame ruled my life and I did everything I could to avoid feeling those feelings as I felt beaten and bruised. I am glad to program steps are written in the order they are - we are allowed to surrender, accept and trust a HP before we dig into that 'stuff' from our past.
By the time I got there, I too found it far less painful that expected. I realized I was reviewing the past with the intent of being a better version of me. The review and inventory and look was not to resurface and relive but rather to understand and grow. I feel that the action steps 4-9 truly helped me see the past for what it is/was - a snapshot in time to show me that I can be different and there is a better way.
Both the reminder and the quote are spot on for me....I do now know that pain is inevitable but can bring growth.
(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
