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What is Al-Anon? What is Al-Anon NOT?
(Preview)
Reposting this from my files - still seems pretty appropriate today & always, and hope this can be a positive for some of the members..... T There seem to be a lot of posts these days looking for some clarity around what Al-Anon is, and what it is not.... The first segment (in italics) is taken...
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canadianguy
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13
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4094
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Are All Alanon Meetings The Same?
(Preview)
I went to my first alanon meeting this morning and left disappointed. So was just wondering, if there might be another meeting that will be a good fit for myself. I didnt know what to expect at a meeting, but I did expect something more than welcome. I am not wanting to bash Alanon so that is not my intentio...
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Lindie
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5
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1357
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Any people out there who stayed married to an active alcoholic?
(Preview)
Hi-
Im really hoping to hear from any of you that have stayed married to the active alcoholic in your lives. How do you do it? Is your marriage normal? By that I mean are you intimate? Can you have a loving, close relationship with the alcoholic? If you have stayed, was it because of the AlAnon program? I j...
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Elabella
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23
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4233
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C2C, 7/29
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 7/29, suggests finding a suitable Higher Power. Suggestions are given for finding a power greater than ourselves, that we can come to rely upon. These suggestions include: God, good orderly direction, Allah, or the universe. The author says that after Step 2, the rest o...
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Lyne
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3
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1663
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20 years 33 years & 53 years one day at a time!
(Preview)
Just having memories of my lifetime. I have been married for 20 years been in the program 33 years & have lived 53 years as of yesterday!But it is all one day at a time! You can plan for the future but not plan the outcome! Not much else to say but the miracles still keep on coming! There is nothing bette...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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2350
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Hope for Today July 28
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about all that we can learn from one another in the program, specifically a sponsor/sponsee relationship. The writer describes a young teenager who is unable to find Alateen meetings in her area, so is permitted to attend Alanon meetings. Over time she as...
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yanksfan51
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4
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1042
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Confidence Shaky with New Job
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I could use some support and encouragement as I begin a new job. I have been doing contract work with one employer for some time now but they have lost many projects and there are less opportunities for work. I have been in touch with a recruiter who had connected me with another employer som...
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tiredtonite
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15
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3728
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went fo another AA meeting alone....
(Preview)
Hi all,
So first off I wanted to ask all of you what you think about us AlAnon folksgoing to open AA meetings by ourselves? I e gone to two already. Last night I went and literally cried from happiness seeing all these wonderful souls fighting for their sobriety and living the best life they can. It made m...
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Elabella
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12
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2970
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Mean then nice!
(Preview)
I am on a roller coaster right now. It is even affecting my sleep! My ah is acting out. I guess it is all about him. He us a recovering alcoholic but he is mean then nice. He is not facing something that is making him accusatory & flat out bullying me. I am trying not to react but it is hard. He is pushing me &...
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Hoot Nanny
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9
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746
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C2C, July 25 - Illusions
(Preview)
This is a powerful page! The author realizes that life was unmanageable -- not because of facts but because of illusions. Eventually they listened to a suggestion that helped them see the light: The idea that we can control another person is an illusion. Life is better when we let go and let God. Th...
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Freetime
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6
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1371
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does anyone celebrate?
(Preview)
Has anyone ever celebrated their birthday for a month? I am an example of over a week. I have been celebrating sober for the longest time! IT is so nice that so many people want to be w/ me at all except my total family! I guess I am worth it; I just am open to any kind of celebrating. I have to say that even the ov...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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332
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Lost ring and stuff
(Preview)
Hi guys. A while ago I was a member of this board, and I used the al-anon wisdom I gained to leave an abusive relationship. That was a good thing; this board and the transformitive wisdom I received saved my life, and my child's life too. Unfortunately I didn't do very well myself; once I was free and clear...
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MelissaK
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16
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466
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So hard to differentiate between the disease
(Preview)
I know he has a disease, but the anger, mean behavior. It's so hard not to hate this person!
He says he no longer loves me, hates me, yada, yada
I just want to scream!!
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Carla61
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5
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1475
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reaching out
(Preview)
hi again, just wondered if any one here has had any experience with loved one with tbi,traumatic brain injury my sister was in a bad wreck yrs ago 2014,i think. they came to me the dr,at the time we werent on speaking terms,drugs related reasons. she had emergengy surgery done on her neck due to broken al...
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lookingup
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11
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1652
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ODAT reading 7-23
(Preview)
TheeODATC reading for Tuesday, July 22 speaks about attempting to understand the disease of alcoholism because we think it will help us to better cope with the problem.The reading suggests understanding the disease is not going to help us respond in a different fashion- we need to study the Al-An...
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hotrod
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4
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3423
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Need to let go of the fear
(Preview)
Here is my situation. I have been married for 30 years, 25 out of those my husband has been an alcoholic. AH will not seek counseling, due to his childhood traumas, he is trying to fix himself by not seeking counseling by self medicating with beer. AH works nights so there is nothing for him to do on his nig...
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Lindie
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7
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500
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Courage to Change 7/24/19
(Preview)
Posting early for tomorrow as we have a super early tee time! Tomorrow's reading talks about doormat status, recovery and courage! The author suggests they arrived @ Al-Anon with a history of letting others take advantage and quite a collection of anger, resentments and guilt. The author often...
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Iamhere
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2
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522
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HELP WITH BOUNDARIES..
(Preview)
Oh my goodness, the last few days I've been on a tear setting boundaries. Today however I'm struggling. My AH just texted and called me from work asking if I could go to the beer store for him. He is working very late, and all beer stores will be closed by the time he is done. He cannot leave work. He has to be t...
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Elabella
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19
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2789
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Courage to Change July 24
(Preview)
Hello MIP! Today's reading from C2C is about step 11 (Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying for the knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.) The author shares that, for them, doing God's will means that, at a...
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Skorpi
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4
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448
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New here
(Preview)
Tomorrow Im going to attend my first Al Anon meeting!
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MollyWisk
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11
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475
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C2C, 7/22
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 7/22, discusses placing principles above personalities. The author says that each meeting can be an opportunity to practice this concept. We dont have to like the personalities of the people in our meetings, but we can remember that we all need each other in order to recove...
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Lyne
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8
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1495
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miracles everywhere!
(Preview)
Don't leave before the miracle. I found mine after over 33 years & 2 husbands. I am so grateful that God gave me all the close relationships I had w/ men. Some will leave a lasting memory. Some will just leave! I am so excited about my future. So many love & have loved me in the past. Today is just ano...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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1932
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Hope for Today July 21
(Preview)
Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the power of a group and the unity within it. The writer describes having grown up in a family that did not communicate well and did not demonstrate unity, but rather isolation. Part of the strength of alanon is coming to a place where others have shared...
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yanksfan51
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5
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1459
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I've been told I am not an enabler yet I know I need help
(Preview)
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RolliesMom
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8
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3412
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ODAT - July 19 - Worldwide Fellowship
(Preview)
I just love the July 19 page in ODAT. It points out that our participation in Al-Anon makes us part of a worldwide network of groups that are all working towards the same purpose, and that what we do makes us brothers and sisters with people all around the world, regardless of nationality, race, color,...
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Freetime
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4
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1807
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what can I say?
(Preview)
I am so grateful that my Ah is now my friend again. I guess things just work out w/ prayer & patience God can really work miracles. I believe that our marriage is a gift from God. He healed me & now my Ah is not angry or frustrated anymore. But this a one day at a time program. I am just grateful for toda...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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1564
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Courage to Change 7/18/19
(Preview)
Sorry for the late post MIP family. Today's reading talks about recovery being a process, with improvements over time and not overnight! Many come to Al-Anon with a philosophy that if something works, it will work even better and faster if we try harder. Instead, we discover that recovery is a long...
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Iamhere
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2
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1934
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2 different agendas ..
(Preview)
With 2 different perceptions. I seem to be having this particular life lesson a LOT recently. I just had to laugh at some of the not so silly and the silliness of it all. Maybe it's the absurdity. I have been trying to rebalance my life and my sig other is def a big part and in the picture .. lol. We are go...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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1556
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Service Work in the Program Has Rewards
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I've been in a bit of a rut lately with service work in Alanon. Our program suggests rotation of service responsibilities so that no one person dominates a particular service position and others can then volunteer and continue to grow. I'm seeing how applying this principle to my own rec...
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tiredtonite
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3
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1633
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Courage to Change July 17
(Preview)
Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on how enmeshed they had become with 2 people close to them who were new to recovery. While these two individuals were drinking, the author lost sight of the fact that they could be happy even if the 2 alcoholics were depressed, that the autho...
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Skorpi
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4
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1496
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Re-found my voice & Anxiety - support please!
(Preview)
I do love how this program works and I return time after time for support to trust the process. It's been an unusual month of one life curve ball after the next; nothing life-threatening, but large things nonetheless: 1) My daughter will be married soon and this precipitated a whole new level of crazy...
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bud
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14
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2894
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Relapse to old behaviours...
(Preview)
Good morning all. Im feeling very sad and ashamed of myself today. Last night I went out with my AH to see a live band play. I made the very HUGE mistake of drinking along with him. Crazy, right? Thats the denial in me thinking its ok to do so. We used to do it all the time without an issue! So why didnt I even thi...
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Elabella
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11
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2506
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ODAT reading 7-16
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for today July 16 speaks about the word :" maturity". I defines maturity as the capacity to withstand the ego destroying experiences and not lose one's perspective in the ego building experiences The reason it defines maturity is that the experts believe that many ofus arrive in...
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hotrod
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5
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908
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Need some perspective.
(Preview)
Having re-reviewed some of the literature on family roles, I'm looking at some of my own traits. One of them is the inability not to take "failure" personally. That go to reaction of deeply believing that failing to foresee xyz caused the failure. It is really really hard to shake that beleif! I'm logi...
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a4l
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5
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656
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Teen having problems-- ia it due to AH?
(Preview)
OMG. My 15 year old son just opened up to me he is being bullied AGAIN at high school. (was bullied in grade school and had to move schools. Bulllied in Freshman year diffent kids/reasons. Now apparently all sophomore year.) He didn't tell me that anything had happened this year--I had no clue-...
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Dancer66
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7
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1207
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A Brother found our dear friend DEAD- Now hes MIA
(Preview)
Friday morning my BMF found his BEST ever friend DEAD!!!!! his friend/boss is writing to me on private messenger telling me about it, hinting about ME doing something, trying to find my NOW MIA brother who most likely is drinking his sorrows away... Its sad!! Terrible!!! I knew "Cliffy" for abou...
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mamalioness
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8
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779
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Alcoholic family roles.
(Preview)
I felt the need to touch base with the literature available on the roles of family members in alcoholic families, ie: the hero, the scapegoat, the lost child, the mascot, the golden child, cheif enabler and addict. Reflecting on the nature of the dis-ease and it's rippling impact accross generation...
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a4l
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8
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1512
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Follow in IAH's footsteps--June Joy?
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I would like to keep IAH's Joy Journal going. Can we have one for June? I just had joy with my puppy sitting on my lap and attempting to talk to me with noises and licking my face.
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Lyne
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57
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5010
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C2C, 7/15
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, July 15, talks about practicing our program the best we can at the pace that is right for us. The author suggests not speaking harshly towards others. The writer suggests that a nonjudgmental, listening ear is a great blessing. Reminder: Today I will try to extend to my fell...
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Lyne
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4
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450
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Pretty Excited :)
(Preview)
It has been a 2 year period of a LOT of growth for me, as well as having to do some hardcore growing up. It is a shame it didn't happen sooner however it is what it is. I have so much further to go without question and right now my hormones are doing me right with where I am at .. LOL. ANYWAYS .. I have a point .. L...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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1576
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Hope for Today July 14
(Preview)
Good morning everyone: Todays reading is all about what serenity means for us. So ma y times I have prayed the serenity prayer, as a mantra, to get me through something that felt like a challenge (a difficult student, running another mile, seeing the ex, etc). Todays page is a reminder that serenity...
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yanksfan51
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5
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298
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Why is excessive alcohol consumption called a disease?
(Preview)
I know this is a basic question, but these days every little thing that the pharmaceutical companies want to make money from is now called a disease, and then they can sell something to combat it and make a lot of money. I understand that some people have a predisposition to it, and for them to stop drink...
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WildFlower
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36
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3551
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really short! I am going to write my memoir!
(Preview)
It will be a huge task for me but now that I am officially middle aged, I think it is time! It is mostly for me & I won't publish it! I guess I need to have some legacy by letting the good stuff come out! What do y'all think? Kathleen
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Hoot Nanny
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13
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2150
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C2C - July 11
(Preview)
Greetings all and apologies for the late post! I did not realize it was Thursday until I was headed to the wrong golf course....I struggle to know what day it is at times just because that's how life works for me! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about recognizing that our feelings are an importa...
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Iamhere
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2
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357
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Hope for Today, July 12 - Starting Over
(Preview)
The author of today's page in Hope for Today had a tendency to isolate because of their fear of not being good enough. One day, walking down the street, they saw a neighbor walking on the other side. They thought about shouting a greeting to the neighbor, but did not do it, and the neighbor turned the co...
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Freetime
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6
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306
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That monkey mind
(Preview)
I thought I'd share this as I'm pretty sure most here can relate. I hope you can see it. It's pretty funny, actually. This seems to be how my mind operates a lot of the time. Really it's my spiritual disease personified. I'm going through this period knowing truly that everything just IS and God's got eve...
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Aloha
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9
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3469
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DRUNK SPEAK and LOVe
(Preview)
Hi everyone! Quick question and this may trigger those who are sensitive to talk about drinking and stupid stuff that goes along with it. So, my bf and I were out with friends for dinner and lots of pool day drinking yesterday. He and I had a very drunk talk about our relationship and it didn't go the way...
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andromeda
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25
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3693
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hi family group
(Preview)
know its been a long time since posted ,summer time has been hectic with saleing old furniture and replaceing furniture then projects out the wazoo. ive been slacking on my recovery work i feel it big time,trying to get it all back going again, i read in 1 of my daily about problems growing up in the a home...
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lookingup
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5
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336
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Taking a moment ..
(Preview)
I forget from time to time because I'm suppose to be the angry one that when I stop engaging with my XAH how much rage he is carrying. We have been split for 7 years now and divorced for almost 5 years and he is so angry. The problem is he takes this out on me not realizing it's really not "me" he's hurting. So...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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285
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Sometimes there don't seem to be any good answers...
(Preview)
Hello mip! Just back home today from 2 lovely weeks in the north woods. A very spiritual place for me, so I'm coming home feeling replenished and ready to take on a difficult summer (work related). I've set some boundaries over the years with aw that i decided not to enforce. She's relapsed several tim...
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Skorpi
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13
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3767
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Hi Everyone
(Preview)
Hi there, Everyone. I'm wondering if this is an okay place for me to be. I don't have any family members or friends who are alcoholics, at least not ones who I know well or whose alcoholism has directly affected me. I have been looking for a 12-step group for a little while to help me cope with feelings of no...
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KitTev
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6
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1714
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Courage to Change July 10
(Preview)
Hello MIP! In today's reading from Courage to Change, the author reflects on a problem that many of us have: as a result of living with the effects of alcoholism, many of us lose perspective on who we are and what we can and cannot do. We accept ideas about our own limitations that are not based in reality...
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Skorpi
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6
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366
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How secondhand drinking ruins lives
(Preview)
I thought this article, "How Secondhand Drinking Ruins Lives," reminded me of a lot I knew but haven't seen in the media, and also made me think a few things I hadn't realized before. Lots to think about, for me. Here are a few quotes: Last week, the Alcohol Research Group at the Public Health Institute i...
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Mattie
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3
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399
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Courage to Change 7/9
(Preview)
Posting for tomorrow for Betty! Tomorrow's reading discusses how our lives will remain unmanageable as long as we pretend that only half of the truth is real. Living with alcoholics, many of us coped with an ever-shifting situation in which our sense of reality changed from one minute to the next....
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Iamhere
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5
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366
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giving back to my community
(Preview)
I am going on a journey these days trying to get out of self as much as I am able. I was doing a community project sorting different pine cones & talking about living in the same city that I grew up in. IT was fascinating for me. I needed to hear more about the town I was born in & lived in for a long time o...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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1685
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C2C, 7/8
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 7/8, is a simple reflection reminding us that nature can help us live ODAT. The writer says that trees dont worry, ponds dont fret, and butterflies dont pry into others business. The writer says that all of creation is going about the business of living and we can do the same. R...
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Lyne
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3
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1619
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Detachment and holidays
(Preview)
Why is it around the holidays that the family falls apart? Everyones emotions are so out of wack?
I just wish I didnt see what I see or hear what I hear! There is nothing I can do. I just let go, no arguments, and look the other way. Hoping the nightmare will be over!
How do you get over that a person who just d...
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Riley3
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5
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1537
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How To Stop Arguing
(Preview)
I am trying SO hard to not get pulled into arguments with my AH.Some days it feels so easy and other days it's impossible.He knows exactly how to push my buttons and then once he does he tells me I'm the problem because of my out of control behavior. I seriously can't take it anymore. I feel so bad about myse...
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SunnyFrogs
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33
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3192
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Hope for Today July 7
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how many of us have felt like victims of the alcoholic behavior in our lives. Even into adulthood, while trying to show how successful and in charge we are, inside the scared out of control kid was there. I certainly remembered feeling like I was a victi...
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yanksfan51
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4
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1873
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I’ve been bad.
(Preview)
. I have not been minding my own business. I am so tired of the alcoholic behavior. My spouse is either continuing to drink (which she denies) or is just a perfect dry drunk. In counseling last Monday I brought in an article on what is a dry drunk? And read excerpts to my spouse and the addiction counsel...
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Lyne
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5
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5433
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