T-t...

             ah guess it is late Sunday afternoon there... and time to prime yourself? It is mid-morning Monday over here- and just reading your share. I plan to offer peer support- and really just listen.  

I always say that work issues are a little less stressful than family issues. But when we are in the thick of it- oh boy!

In Alanon I found that just talking with other adults, and being able to talk stuff through was a great boon. Not easy to start with- until we begin to find the words. I like here- that responses are supported by our much loved and respected members here... ...and it is really healing to feel like 'one of the crew'.

These days I always seem to have a mixture of both excitement and dread- when I talk on something new. And I now think this is normal.

I used to be a bit of a chorus boy- and when going on stage, it was customary to say "break a leg!"

Reason being- is was considered bad luck- to say otherwise.   ...

I would be really interest to hear- how things go- on the first day... best of luck!

[And so saying- it has been your ability- that has gotten you so far... remember that, my friend.]

-DavidG.

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement, love and support. I really am tired tonight   It was a good day! They were very welcoming and are a nice group. I attended their team meeting and learned a bit about their own capabilities and pain points. They need a lot of help and that may be good for me. It was a frustrating first day for me personally because I tend to like to know what I'm doing almost immediately and get to work. Additionally, I worry that not catching on immediately will be attributed to age. I know this is something I need to just get over but I am told in workshop after workshop that ageism is out there. The team lead and I seemed to hit if off well. That may count for something in the long run if they want to move this into a permanent thing. She and I tend to like to work the same way, creating new processes, simplifying. I'm there because the person in the role is filling in a vacant position in the company hoping to get that job. This could be a good opportunity for me. I have things to learn but it's all work I did a few years back I'm just a little rusty from being away from it. By the end of the day, I already had the hang of some things. The supervisor was beaming when I said I preferred to stay until quiting time rather than make my first day a short day. I told her I wanted to try out what I'd learned rather than wait until tomorrow. I'm just going to take it a day at a time guys and try not to become too invested. My plan is to work like a person invested but privately not have expectations. When asked, I agreed to help them with a big project next week that has full company involvement. It helps them and I'm seen. I am going to try to gather all the skills I can. If it doesn't turn into a full time job, I've had paid training for my next opportunity. I could get a few references from supervisors and enhance my reputation with the recruiter that sent me there. 

So I definitely feel a little better now that the day has passed. It's no longer the "unknown." And thank you for saying it was my skills that got me there. I can see that not everyone in that department is super skilled. That was a bit of a comfort. Tomorrow the supervisor has me in lots of meetings. Some are really not directly related to what I've been hired to do there. A tour is included also. I think I'm more worried about producing for them than they seem to be about me producing. But hey, I don't have to overthink this, just show up and do what they ask, be friendly and be paid. 

Funny how exhausted you can get from not doing much. Stress, new surroundings, new people. I definitely need to call it a night. (((everyone))) TT

Thanks (((everyone))) for all your wisdom and support. It took a few days to acclimate to the new work environment. The hiring manager during the phone interview told me she'd told my recruiter that she wanted another person like the one sent prior by my recruiter. That person was hired, is doing well in the department and was even given a bump up. She was also on the call and part of the interview process. She gushed and thanked her profusely. This was a bit of a red flag for me. I have my own skills, am my own person and my own shoes are enough.   

Over this first week, this idea of being a clone to this other woman truly played out. There is very obvious favoritism concerning her within the department and even as a temp person, it was easy to some trying to get noticed, others isolating themselves and resentful. I didn't hit the ground running. It took me two days to get what they wanted from me and put it into action. Heck, I didn't even have a printer connected to my computer on the first day and other housekeeping things also needed to happen. Yet, the afternoon of my first day, I was quickly trained and given a major account with the most difficult of the account managers. Trial by fire. Lets remember that I am a temp oerson with no promise of hire. Yet, I'm doing what is actually the meat of their own job and expected to get it all right on the first attempt and quickly too! It isn't that I haven't done this kind of work in the past but it's been almost five years. They saw my resume, they'd hardly asked me any questions when interviewing and it seems unrealistic to me that they would expect me to hit the ground running. Where else would I have been putting these skills into action? Certainly, not in my home. They use another system so that was an adjustment for me. But I will tell you with all honesty that I don't this two days is unreasonable to adjust to a new company, department, software, culture etc. Once I knew what was expected, once all the pieces came together and made sense, I got the job done and well. One who was reluctantly training me, (not the favorite) let me know that no one had given her any training when she was hired a year ago. She told me this with a lot of anger in her voice. She said she had to figure everything out for herself. 

The boss is hands off and has a team lead in the department. I was able to do some small tasks with the boss yesterday after others from the team left early. She wanted to know how my first week went. Not that she wasn't filled in. lol I told her that the first few days I was getting acclimated to everything but then everything jelled and seemed to be going along fine. I told her of a few things I had trouble with. I told her of a few things that demonstrated resourcesfulness and talent exhibited. She went with the trouble points and her language was unsupportive. It went something like... did you look here for that in this person's work?  My response was that I directly asked that person if they were familiar with this and they told me they weren't. Additionally, I told her that not all information was at one's fingertips and other information was no longer available online at all. I finally resorted to finding hard copy and retooling that. She quickly told me that I should add my new finished product to their folders for future use by the team. She didn't say it was good thinking on my part. Listen, I don't need back pats but I also don't need to be perfect immediately. But I sense in this environment that is what is wanted. 

It's an extremely pretentious environment also. The pay is great and if I can tune them out, get the hang of things and go home, it might be workable. We'll see. It may be hard to overcome their judgment of my work performance since I didn't instantly catch on. I guess I'll see next week what this one account manager things of what I've produced. There are a few people from other department who have been very friendly. I'm considering inviting one of them to have lunch and get a feel for the organization. It's a pretty chilly place. I'm not sure if I should contact my recruiter and maybe let her know where I stand with all of this. I am sure she was in touch with the hiring manager at the end of the week to ask how I was working out. People in the dept. were less than friendly toward me and didn't like answering any additional questions. I pushed back and got what I needed, went home and taught myself more online but they were resistant to helping me. No one says good morning, good night, told me about casual Friday or snacks in the breakroom. Heck, they hardly talk to one another unless they have to. But it is evident that this one woman is considered the star of the department and management doesn't seem to care how that might affect the morale of others in that department. I have been brought in to be her clone because the same recruiter sent me. 

So we'll see! I felt really proud of how I got it all together in a few days and put all my old work practices into action. I worked quickly because once I knew what I needed, who to get it from or how to get it, I organized it all for easy access. I am creating and keeping notes of everything. And as I mentioned in my last post, I am going to take all this with me if I need to and apply it in an organization that will not make a snap decision about me in two days. I know my worth guys. Yesterday and every friday they have a guess what's in the chocolate contest. I chose not to play the pretentious game. But if I had, I would have called bs. 

Now I get to enjoy my weekend :)  (((hugs))) TT