Posting early for tomorrow as we have a super early tee time!  Tomorrow's reading talks about doormat status, recovery and courage!  The author suggests they arrived @ Al-Anon with a history of letting others take advantage and quite a collection of anger, resentments and guilt.  The author often found they said Yes to things, when they really wanted to say No and denied their own feelings just to gain someone else's approval.

Working the program revealed the answer - courage.  The author reflected on how the Serenity Prayer suggests that courage comes from a Higher Power thus turned there first.  Action came next - willingness to say No when necessary/desired and Acceptance followed - realizing not everyone would be happy with the No!

The author decided they were fed up with being a doormat, so squared up their shoulders and practiced what is suggested in recovery!

Reminder:  It is not always appropriate to reveal my every thought, especially when dealing with an active alcoholic.  But do I make a conscious choice about what I say?  And when it is appropriate, do I say what I mean and mean what I say?  If not, why not?  All I have to offer anyone is my own experience of the truth.

Quote:  "There is a price that is too great to pay for peace. . . . One cannot pay the price of self-respect."  from Woodrow Wilson

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My experience is that I had to practice being different in order to be different.  I had to change my thinking, my attitudes, my outlook and my everything to escape being a willing volunteer to 'victimhood'.  I was one of 'those' who when asked how I was, I either lied and said Fine or vomited out everything that was 'wrong' with my life....and often threw way too much blame/shame towards those I love!

I began my journey by changing simple things - the order I dressed in the morning, the order I did my hygiene, praying, meditating, etc. just to remind myself to stay focused on me, change, one day at a time, etc.  I suspect if I had counted, I probably said the Serenity prayer a thousand times a day, again to remind me I needed/wanted a different, more healthy way of living my life.

It is in Al-Anon that I learned that Yes and No are complete sentences.  I learned to not J-A-D-E - Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain my choices, my answers, my boundaries, etc.  I learned how to say what I mean, mean what I say and not say it mean here too.  I often feel that I have matured more in my recovery years than before - we often suggest that recovery is like 'growing up in public'.

Working this program as best I can, one day at a time has truly given me the courage to just be me, and to know and accept that me, an imperfect person is exactly who I am supposed to be.  I am today very comfortable in my skin, and as authentic as possible!  I am grateful!

Hope everyone has a lovely Thursday - I certainly plan to do so!  (((Hugs)))