The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi Diane, and welcome! You are not alone. Many of us came here confused, frustrated, sad, angry, and desperate. We understand your feelings. We had an alcoholic in our life, and it was more than we could handle alone. But we found help and hope.
If you can write more about what is going on for you, people here will give their experience, strength, and hope.
We can still be deeply affected by the disease of alcoholism, even if we don't enable. There are still a lot of challenges around caring about someone with a drinking problem aside from just not enabling.
Glad you're here, and I hope you find yourself some face-to-face meetings, too.
Welcome RM-I did little enabling, but I got really crushed by my A's behavior. As a result I lost myself and had a host of emotional problems. And the worst of all was that I couldn't see it. But now I'm involved in alanon and it's as though I have a new life. Yes I still have stress and problems but I handle everything different, and most of the time, better. I can just encourage you to try. Lyne
Welcome RolliesMom. in my opinion, 82% of us are (or have been) enablers at some point in our journey, and the other 18% are lying! :)
I hope you share more with us, and allow us into your support / recovery. MIP is a good place, and kudos to you for beginning to reach out. You are not alone
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I too send a warm welcome to you RM! Glad you found us and glad that you shared. It was easier for me to see my contribution to enabling by looking at the informal definition we often hear in recovery - doing for others what they should/could do for themselves.
Please keep coming back - there is always hope and help in recovery!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Welcome Diane Please search out alanon face to face meetings in your community. enabling is only one of the many negative tools we implement when dealing with alcoholism. pick up some literature and keep coming back
Welcome...enabling is not just the "only" problem we face in having a loved one suffer from alcoholism/addiction. In addition, most people look at the one-dimensional definition of enabling, that being, doing something for the alcoholic that they can do for themselves, and that too is an oversimplified assessment. We can "contribute" to the disease in many other ways, and can "enable" the disease, the drama, the chaos, the turmoil, and not the person. We hear about helping -- the kind of helping we did before alanon -- is hurting, and that can be so very true.
Go to face to face meetings, as many and as often as you can. Find a sponsor, and start doing the work. You can, and will, get better and get healthy. All the best.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
