The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in Courage to Change speaks about steps 10, 11, and 12. The author shares that they have often heard of these steps as "maintenance steps," but the author likes to think of them as growth steps- steps that let the author continue to challenge themself. The author tested the theory that steps 10, 11, and 12 could be growth steps when they retired. They had more time than ever to return to old habits, but instead, decided to challenge themself with these three steps and become more aware of the benefits of personal growth. The author also has more time to dedicate to service to their group and AlAnon as a whole, which has resulted in some of the author's most pleasant memories and times of greatest growth.
Today's Reminder: With the help of the steps, I need never be stuck again.
Today's Quote: "Be not afraid of growing slowly, Be afraid only of standing still." Chinese proverb
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Today's reading has be thinking about the flexibility of the AlAnon program, and how we each can tailor our program work to our individual needs. I was initially surprised to read about how some view the steps. For me, I have found it useful to think of the 12 steps as a whole as a great way to work through issues, regardless of what they are. I tend to work through the steps once or twice a year, and I have found that, although sometimes I use the same set of questions, my answers to them are very different. This is the way of working my program and working the steps that has allowed me the most growth. I'm thankful to have a program that allows such flexibility, allows us each to approach step-work and ongoing growth in a way that makes sense to us as individuals.
I am at a local conference this week, nice to be able to engage in professional development without worrying about travel or staying in hotels! (Although traveling for conferences brings its own set of joys as well.) I hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Scorpi, thank you for your service and share. When I finally came to understand and embrace the steps, all of them, I realized that they would be a fantastic course for high school students. Had I the time and energy, I would try to speak to educators and try and convince them to try it. But I see the steps as a way to live in a more constructive and positive way. They could be applied to any situation, for example, a teen who had lost a relationship. Ive done the steps twice now and Im sure I will do them again. Love this program, Lyne
Thank you for your service, Skorpi, and I appreciate the shares!
I have run into some people at meetings who are very rigid with the program... they tried to impose that on myself. That didn't sit well with me, b/c it is the FLEXIBILITY that I find most beneficial to ME. I would run the other way from these people until I began to understand that this rigidness is probably what THEY need. The problem was they were trying to exert THEIR understanding unto me. It wasn't the Program!! As I healed and understood the Program more, I was able to see this, and "take what I wanted and left the rest."
Skorpi - enjoy the conference!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks Skorpi for the daily and your service. Thanks to all above me for your shares and ESH! I hope the conference is awesome! I was a very rigid soul before recovery. When I arrived, my old habits were front and center and I was one who really tried to 'perfect recovery'....I would take copious notes in meetings, writing down all suggestions in the hopes it would help me fix my 'life'. The issue was I was still in denial that I was part of the problem and had my own level of insanity. Needless to say, I really thought I would never get it ...
Thanks goodness I had a very loving and gentle sponsor. She helped me hear, embrace and practice all that is special about Al-Anon - gentle program, suggestions only - not rules, advice, judgement, etc. And, as PnP suggests - take what you like and leave the rest! I will add that she suggested I pray for those who were still sick, were trying to force solutions for my recovery, offering advice, etc. THIS added step helped me embrace Principles over Personalities! Today, I am able to gracefully side-step those controlling souls when I used to run/dodge them.
Happy Hump Day MIP family! We have rain showers in the area and perfectly timed - Wednesday is my day of rest from golf! I am off to run some errands in the rain and just for today, all is well. We do have a saying around here - in recovery, there is no standing still. You are either moving forward or you are sliding back....there is no middle ground. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Skorpi and all who have shared. I was a good student in school and was one to follow the rules to the letter! When I was first introduced to the steps, I looked at them like a recipe or something I had to follow at a certain pace. I was/am so relieved to be able to tackle the steps at my own rate....revisiting and reinterpreting as I go. They can be seen as singular, grouped or a whole.....whatever works. There is no grade, no pass or fail, no one is standing with a clipboard making check marks. ( Are clipboards even used anymore....or is everything electronic? Lol ). I love the program and I love this board as a supplement and at times....life line of different ESH.
