The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to my first face2face and left with more questions and left feeling more alone. Do you have to ask for a sponsor, or wait until someone offers to be a sponser? I am going to try another meeting with other people there but that is my question about how to get a sponsor?
The way I found my sponsor, and I think it's usual in Al-Anon, was by going to several meetings and listening to the shares. When I heard someone who seemed relatable, I approached her after a meeting and asked -- and thankfully she agreed! Don't be discouraged if you ask someone and they say they aren't currently available; they might already have as many sponsees as they can handle for now.
Some meetings may have a list of people willing to be sponsors, and some may have a telephone list of people you can call if you just want to talk.
It's normal to come out of a first meeting feeling that this just doesn't make sense ... it is all quite different from how we have been thinking and approaching our problem, so it takes time to get a grasp on what this is all about.
Keep going back, keep trying. Your sponsor is out there.
My experience is very similar....typically, one finds a sponsor through meeting attendance. It was suggested to me to look for someone who 'has what I want'. I wanted/needed serenity, calm, rational thinking, etc. so I went for that and have not been disappointed.
Al-Anon does suggest we try different meetings. I was also told that I should go with an open mind, and look for similarities vs. differences in shares. Keep going until you find where you feel comfortable!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
