The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning MIP family! Better late than never.....Today's Courage to Change discusses Step Six. This step suggests our lives will undergo great change, and many of us fear nothing will be left if we shed our characteristics that helped us cope. Many have fear of the unknown, yet if we've worked the previous steps, and assess how far we've come, we can see how much we want to change.
Most of us are tired of the way we were and have a desire to grow and continue healing. We know now that our HP is here to guide us when we are ready.
Step Six suggests we need not change anything, instead we must simply prepare ourselves for change. We can take all the time we need to and when ready we 'go'.
Reminder: I need not judge the rate at which I change old habits or ways of thinking. If I am uncomfortable with old behavior, then on some level I am already moving toward changing it. Change will not be effective unless I am ready for it. I need only trust that, when the time comes to move forward, I will know it.
Quote from Orin L. Crain - "Remind me each day that the race is not always to the swift; that there is more to life than increasing its speed. Let me look upward into the towering oak and know that it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well."
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I am reminded slow and steady wins the race! That's so not the way I lived life or approached anything before recovery. I love that Step 6, which just asks us to be ready for change follows Steps 4 & 5, which are hard work. My recovery journey has shown me time and time again that when I trust in the God of my understanding, more is always revealed and my growth comes when it needs to, not when I want to. Wanting to be different and growing into being different are two different things and the latter provides me with real chances for change while the former is me still trying to force solutions.
I am not always thrilled with what's revealed yet I do trust the process enough to work through any reservations, fear, discomfort, etc. While I don't fully understand how it all works, I do trust the program and process enough to continue wanting growth and change and working for it.
Happy Thursday all - golfed this morning before expected rain and have softball this evening! Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for your service, Iamhere. I am coming at this a day late, but I don't care! This has great things to remind my brain!! It wasn't until my Step 4 that I realized that everything I was doing or had done was fear-based. True, I did understand my basic fear due to living with an addicted person. But Step 4 helped me to understand and accept my behaviors were deeply rooted in fear. I am now delving into the "whys" of this, as I thought I had a quality childhood! Step 6 gave me a way to move in my world without having to cling to that fear - for the most part. I qualify, b/c I have accepted that I chose my current life-path b/c I could not live with the constant nagging fear that my spouse would relapse and my world would fall apart again. I don't beat myself up for this, b/c I had to also think about my Kid. Actually, put my Kid first. That kind of instability is not fair... even if the stable parent is working a program and can handle that fear. That being said, Step 6 is helping me live my best life! I've had much turmoil with the new career, aging parents having hospitalizations and near death episodes, yet I come here, ground myself and move forward!
I am blessed today to have this program, and this forum to express myself.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you IAH and for both above shares. Our program makes great sense to me and has a blueprint for life. And that's why I also like our slogan ODAT. I don't have to obsess about past or present, changes or not, progress or challenges. Just taking today gives me freedom, Lyne
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