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i want to be like WATER!!!
(Preview)
Today's thought is:
Sweet Surrender
So we're ready to take on the world, at least to take the next step. That's when it hits. Or rather we hit it. The wall.Suddenly the path that looked so clear, so easy, so laid out in front of us disappears. Just a little glitch, we think. We take another run at it....
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rosie light shines
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2
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287
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i'm fine :)
(Preview)
i am sorry i havent posted i have not been on the computer all weekend . some of my wonderful friends here were worried. i am fine just crazied with amanda & christmas & working and being a wife & a mother cooking ,cleaning the usual stuff. when i get home my day starts all over ag...
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chrissy
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7
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458
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Our deepest fear...
(Preview)
I saw this today while I was out shopping and thought I'd share it with all of you. It really touched something in me..thanks for letting me share :)
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our darkness, tha...
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Faith73
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7
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376
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For my Dad
(Preview)
On Sat morn, I had to call 911 for my dad. He was having chest pains and couldnt breathe. He has been in the hospital since. He has double pneumonia, and is on monitors. I am very worried and scared. He is the only family I have left.
Just asking you all to pray for...
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bcraindrop70
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12
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376
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anxious and nervous
(Preview)
Hi Roomies
I am anxious and nervous so my best friend suggested that I post.
I filed for divorce in August.
My complaint was ugly and dirty laundry and sadly true.
My husband’s answer to my complaint was due 10/22 and he got a 30 day extension.
I have been nagging my lawyer to...
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megan
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18
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505
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Everything I've done has been a reaction ...
(Preview)
Hi,
I'm very grateful to have found this forum.
I've posted before about my situation.
I've been trying to stay "clear," but as time goes on, it becomes more and more apparent that I have given away my ownership of my emotions and every aspect of my life.
When I was ready to face that my husband ha...
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phoebemoonpie
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6
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333
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Intimate Issues ** Adult content
(Preview)
Hi - I'm new to this site but not to the program. I have 40 months in Al-Anon but don't currently have a home group. A little background: I have been married to my 'A' for 10 years. He has no intention of recovery at this point and I have found what serenity is possible with that, s...
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StacySCW
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12
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427
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Don't know what I'm feeling
(Preview)
I became cranky tonight and wasn't sure why, just sure that everyone noticed. I took a bath and thought about it. My husband came in and asked me what was wrong. I told him that he messed up Friday night in the worst way and he has just continued on like nothing happened. I was de...
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Powerless
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3
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369
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hey yall
(Preview)
Hey yall seeing alot of good stuff and alot of gut level honesty. Please keep it up. Just wanted to tell yall I'm doing good. The university replaced the computers in the dorm with really nice ones....the only thing is, they don't connect to the internet. And being the good lazy doke I am, until I get a rea...
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Tiger2006
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3
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335
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This is lovely and appropriate...
(Preview)
Hi!
I realise this is a little off the board topic but hope it is ok to post. I recieved this poem from a friend and I think it embodies all I have found here.
Hope you enjoy it as I did.
Feather
On Line Friends
I had some free time, so what did I do? I checked the computer to see if I'd h...
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Feather
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3
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262
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Today is about me - hope it stays that way
(Preview)
First things first - I have an important job interview today that I am PRAYING I get - would make my life alot more simplified (in the long run) if I did get it. Many of you were not around last night for my share in the meeting - but as of late I am realizing that my HP had a specific plan for me that I am fin...
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Cyn
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8
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296
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New, is this where I belong??
(Preview)
Hi I am ed,
For about seven years I have been in Overeater anonymous, and i have experienced recovery i have been fre from compulsive eating for almost 4 years. but something is not quite right. I still have no peace. This time of year is tough, 10 years ago (on Dec 1st) my mom died from a combinnation of a...
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bigargon
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9
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337
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Up For Air
(Preview)
Dec. 11,
I never thought I would be so relieved to see anger. My A appeared at the door with a very angry expression and handed me the cell phone. I have given him the spare phone but l I had to suspend the services. The phone was broken apart in two, no battery, and he had pulled the antena o...
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bluecrow
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5
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314
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Jealous of support!!!
(Preview)
Hi!
I have woken this morning to the realization that I am jealous, just when I thought I had an understanding of my feelings concerning my A (Husband) and the tools to deal to with them healthily. What's worse is the circumstances this jealousy has arisen in.
Three days ago we got the awful news tha...
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Feather
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9
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364
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speaking of sad songs
(Preview)
Recently the topic has come up of sad songs and a few here have been posting -which got me thinking this one certainly does it for me. Another one is "Old Man, by Neil Young" Although I am unable to find the lyrics it. In my cd Neil portrays it different then how I interpret it anyway, but to me it's jus...
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tea2
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7
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352
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HOT lava
(Preview)
Some days are so hard to get through. I battle just staying afloat.
Yesterday was one of then. I tried so many of the tools I have learned... I read my literature, I called my sponsor, I drew, I made cookies, I decorated the tree, I went to church, I took a bubble bath and the list does go on. As long as my m...
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sandie123
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5
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445
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HP don't let me forget how i USED to be
(Preview)
Keep It Simple God gave us memory that we might have roses in December.--James M. Barrie. Do you remember what it was like to not have sobriety? Remember the shame? Remember the loneliness? Remember lying and wishing you could stop? Remember the powerlessness? Do you remember, also, how it felt wh...
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rosie light shines
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4
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289
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Sister in crisis
(Preview)
I have a younger sister (38), who has been married for 4 years and lving for 15 years to a much older man (50). He drinks heavily 3-4 times a week, spends whatever money he has on drink and drugs, brings home 'friends' he's made in the pub to party on in their home. They have a 12 year old daughter (my niece) an...
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FrancesB
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6
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303
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Update on Interview...
(Preview)
I think the interview went very well - I applied for an Aquatic Director position at a University - and I just bought a swim school that is run out of that same University. They seemed happy with me and the interview was more chatting than actual questions. I then went down to the pool office...
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Cyn
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6
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308
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Coming up 4 Air? - NOT
(Preview)
Hey group,
May I vent?
Some of ya know I moved f/ a 2 to a 1 bed on Dec. 1. Everything that could go wrong, has and I have a lovely mix of that funky smoke smell coming thru heat vent everynight now permeating clothes furniture, etc. This morning, I woke to find the toliet, and ba...
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cedarpines
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6
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565
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food, for fun
(Preview)
i thought i would start a topic of foods for the holidays,,,since we have so much food talk in the room...and we could all share recipies.
and also because i forgot who i was gonna give this to..lol
chinese bbq pork..like for appitizers
1 c.soy sauce
1/2 c packed brown sugar
2 tbs cider vinega...
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ednaxray
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10
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420
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Few more questions and advice needed if you dont mind....
(Preview)
As I said before, I have just started the process of living my life despite being married to an alcoholic. I have a few more questions...but I need to give you a little more background. I have a chronic illness that prevents me from working and take many meds to live a semi-normal life. My husband says tha...
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Conwolf
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8
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326
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FURIOUS!!!
(Preview)
I am so angry that my hands are shaking and i think I may vomit. I posted a little while ago in response to someone else and began to get agitated. My mother-in-law called me and asked if I had heard from my husband yet. He is a truck driver and was due in at two o'clock this afternoon.&nb...
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Powerless
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7
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372
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update
(Preview)
this is so hard to write as i feel like i look like a fool. but this is what happened. my a came home to give me money for rent as right now i cant afford it by myself. he ended up telling me he didnt want to leave. i admitted my wrongs for starting a fight with him just because i was feeling insecure from the past....
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notsonew1111
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9
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373
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lost....over and over again...
(Preview)
why is it that when i left me "A" after he started his drinking binge that i cant let go.
emotionally.... i mean i was the one to leave...my choice, my decision etc..
so how come after 4 mths of crying, frustrated with life in general and questioning everything even my HP... why am i still in the same pl...
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Rebecca
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5
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293
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Timeline Day 6 & 7
(Preview)
Sat. Dec. 10,
The police has adviced him not to come to our house again or he will be arrested. They escort him to the bus stop.
Browneyes
In answer to your questions:
a. Emergancy Room he was taken there a few days ago and released. This is typical they can't do a thing for him, the...
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bluecrow
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7
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521
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songs that make you think..and even sometimes cry
(Preview)
Sarah McLachlan
Angel~ spend all your time waiting
for that second chance for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
...
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Lauren ashley
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4
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337
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lost a friend
(Preview)
Last night a friend let me know that she was uncomfortable being part of my support network because she has feelings for me and doesn't like the person I am currently "seeing". It is very frustrating to me that one of the few people that I have been able to begin to open up to, has closed herself to me...
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angelinme908
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5
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314
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mad and angry..in that order!!!
(Preview)
why is it that men are twisted!!!!
anyone??
i just got off the phone from my "A"....ex boyf who insists we are still a couple and we are just going throu a bad patch!!!! yea right! we had an arguement...
petty words were exchanged and then a heated arguement ensued ending up in a full blown screamin...
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Rebecca
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7
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350
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The Power of ES&H
(Preview)
All,
Last night at my face-to-face meeting, the leader read a passage from "Courage to Change" that spoke about the power of ES&H (Experience, Strength, and Hope). This reading held real power for me. For so long, I've thought of my experience growing up in an alcoholic househou...
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BlueCloud
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1
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728
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No Trust
(Preview)
I'm fairly new here and with family visiting for the month haven't had much time to log on. I really need to vent right now. Last August I left my home in MA to move to FL with my A. It was going to be fresh start for both of us. Driving down from MA he got a DUI in NC. He had to app...
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Froggie
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4
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347
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I GIVE UP
(Preview)
Hi Everybody,
I haven't posted in a while. But I have still been here every day, reading and learning. Anyway, a lot has happened lately.
My husband, a meth addict, admitted to being high to his parole officer on Halloween. So his officer made him do meetings. Then he wa...
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browneyes
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9
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419
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still lost on the point
(Preview)
Hi guys,
I mentioned a while back I started going to counseling in addition to alanon, at the suggestion of my sponsor, to deal with something that is going on in my marriage.
As part of the working through the issue in my marriage, we have fallen on issues relating to my parents. We learn what we...
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pixel04
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6
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336
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thanks for being here
(Preview)
thank you for all your support, I do appreciate it. I am still dragging myself through these holidays...no feeling for them really...I detached from most everything, except the As in my life..thought I had done really well, and then one came back into my life.my father..and hes brought the ba...
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kat4u
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4
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279
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updated on Bubbles123
(Preview)
Hi ((((((everyone))))))
I just thought I would let you all know that I am doing well under the STRESS that my family and I are experincing right now with the lose of my Hubbys job yesterday!!!
I just keep thinking" one day at a time" and" take it easy "and that my Hp will see us through this and to lo...
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bubbles1990
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6
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546
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I am numb and emotionless
(Preview)
I guess I would have been really tickled by pounds of gummi bears because he spent his entire paycheck on crack. Gee, he was nice enough to bring me home a pack of cigarettes. All I have heard is more promises and how scared he is and how powerless he is. Big flippin deal. I've li...
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Powerless
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6
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346
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Taking one Day at a time, But
(Preview)
I try to take one day at a time, But sometimes several day's attck me at once.
Timeline
Monday Dec.5, am
I call police and have my A arrested for under the influance. Last used meth. on Sunday. He was disorented, anxiety,confused, age...
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bluecrow
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6
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311
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The world surprises me daily
(Preview)
I went to a baby shower yesterday - dreaded going because 1. they make me depressed an 2. it was about 20 minutes away from my ex's house. But I went and I interacted, etc. The shower was for my ex-neighbor who is also my godmother's daughter. My godmother's son is my oldest friend and someon...
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Cyn
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5
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285
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Feeling insane and sane and confused
(Preview)
I feel very confused. I have had days of mental torment.I feel very guilty of my feelings,i feel like i have been a waking dead.My nights seems very confused i have endless dreams fearing that i have been trying to question my relationship with a loving God.It feels like i have always had a clear conciou...
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hopeful
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3
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309
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please help....
(Preview)
can someone explain or show me what or where to find the recovery programme for alanon members?
is it only the alcoholics that have the 12 step programme?
or do we have our own?
any help would be greatly appreciated
rebecca xxx
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Rebecca
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5
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358
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Is it progress?
(Preview)
Hi all,
I have had plenty of time to think, I know scary thing, today while I am at work. A thought just hit me, am I really progressing in my program? Sure my "A" went out all night, he was doing what he does while he is active. I am upset over this, again, so am I progressing if it still hurts.
Sure I know th...
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Dolphin123
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4
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297
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Unwelcome Xmas Visitor
(Preview)
My A called me at work today to say his father (also an A) is coming for xmas. He will be staying with us for day or two (his day or two ends up 2 weeks). He runs up our phone bill, eats all the food and doesn't chip in at all. Last time he stayed with us when my A was very sick year and a half ago....
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lebe27
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8
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519
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Responding vs Reacting to Projecting
(Preview)
For the past week I have been experiencing some female problems that I've never had in my life before. At the beginning of this week timeframe, I looked up these symptoms in my medical book and saw words like "30 to 60% cause of hysterectomies" and "cancer". There went my mind - projecting...
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kismetstrand
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13
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616
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feeling down
(Preview)
Why is it that I know I am powerless--I get that--over my a's drinking and drugging, and yet I still get upset when things aren't going the way I think they should be going.
This week hasn't been a bad week, necessarily. My a has been "off" not using I think, but something just isn't right. (I say n...
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hudsond
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3
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297
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He's Out of The House
(Preview)
Last week I had to have a protective order served on my husband. He was drinking and started an argument with me over my son calling home to wake him up. My son was letting me know he would be late coming home. My husband went into a rage, dumped all of my instructional items out of my teacher bag and began pac...
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meowzmusic
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6
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481
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Oz computor,help again John
(Preview)
Hi,
It's Sat., the 10th of Dec., and I can't get into chat room again. It says connecting 6667 but you wait forever and no connect. It's the morning meeting, your time ESt about 9:00. Help!
a computer desperate toto
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toto12
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1
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270
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I am sad...
(Preview)
I had a bit of a fall out today... my grandparents are still downsizing alanon,and saying why dont I hang around kids my age.hello kids my age are rebels,and do weird things.I don't want to be like that
My grandparents should be happy I am putting most of my time to something positive,and s...
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Lauren ashley
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6
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396
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bail out or not?
(Preview)
A freind in ALAnon called me yesterday. Her husband got arrested for DUI again. He called and betggged her to bail him out and she said no. He said he was having heart flutterings and refused to tell them. She said what if he dies and I did not go bail him out?
I was trying not to give advice...but wh...
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afglin
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7
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423
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this is it
(Preview)
well my a came home after work and grabbed the two bags i had packed last night wouldn't give me his keys and said he'll be back another time to give me money to pay the rent. he said he has to go to the casino with his mom. i hate this feeling so much. he is acting like he just doesnt care and i know he's lying abou...
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notsonew1111
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5
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330
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Please forgive me if I sound angry,
(Preview)
Okay, I have to admitt, I am angry. I just don't understand.
I have been trying to accept this as a disease. I have been trying to just take care of myself and the kids. I have been trying to be compassionate and stay out of his stuff.
Then I talk to a lady at the rehab that tells me that no he does not have to...
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Jeannie
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9
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451
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Gratitude
(Preview)
Dear Friends,
I would like to express deep gratitude to the new family that I have found you. Thank you for all the support, it has made the world of difference. Maybe you answered my postings or maybe you read them and sent silent prayers&nb...
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bluecrow
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3
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322
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Coming out of Denial
(Preview)
You all may know from earlier post that I left my husband a month ago. It hasn't always been easy but I don't regret my decision at all. It seems that I am now coming out of a fog. We all talk about the alcoholic's denial but I am also having to deal with my own denial. Looking back I...
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JulieLynn
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4
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329
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Input please?
(Preview)
I have been reading the posts and responding to some but have been so busy and tired. Today makes 25 days my A is clean and sober! He is tired and of course irratable on and off. I am trying to stay focused on me. Of course he isn't going to meetings or counseling he is a "tough guy"...
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marmare
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4
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369
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another problem... can you help?
(Preview)
hi guys,
i was trying to figure out for the most part of today..what or how do you separate the addiction from the person? my ex makes sooo many promises and is all plans about the future but for some reason i cant distinguish what is fact and what is fiction! i want to believe him when he says he wants a bet...
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Rebecca
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4
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524
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asking for help is NOT asking for rescue
(Preview)
FRIDAY , DECEMBER 09, 2005
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=1271>.
Asking for Help
It's okay to ask for help.One of the most absurd things we do to ourselves is not asking for the help we need from a friend, a family member,...
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rosie light shines
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4
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307
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esh please
(Preview)
hi everyone im asking anyone to respond if they want to about their stories about leaving the a in their life and how they are better for it. i need to hear the hope that if i choose to ask him to leave i will know im doing what's right. i want to hear what i do have to look forward to. because i know if i stay there...
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notsonew1111
|
8
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899
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Doormat syndrome
(Preview)
I have a picture of a narcissus flower hanging in my apartment.
It has been there since I moved into my own apartment in July after leaving my alcoholic husband of 14 years in May.
It is there to remind me that I live here, apart from my emotionally abusive A to take care of myself.
I hit my bottom. I...
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megan
|
12
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493
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Ending relationships
(Preview)
This is really hard. I've been back and forth with my A for over two years now. The issues run deeper than this disease for me...intimacy and communication were a problem from the start.
We broke up (for the upteenth time) about a week ago, but decided to stay friends (that didn't work) h...
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Faith73
|
5
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553
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i am soooo done
(Preview)
well i think this is it. my a has shown me in every possible way that he does not give two sh**ts about me. im so hurt and hate this feeling. in the past i would wait until tomorrow to see what he has to say. i need to stop this. this is my life to control and i cant keep waiting to see what to do untill i know what he'...
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notsonew1111
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7
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649
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Song I heard tonight - hit home...
(Preview)
I heard this song today - hit me really hard!!
Gone - By Kelly Clarkson
What you see's not what you get With you there's just no measurement no way to tell what's real from what isn't there Your eyes they sparkled That's all changed into lies that dropped like acid rain you washed away the best of me you...
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Cyn
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3
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391
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