The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to a baby shower yesterday - dreaded going because 1. they make me depressed an 2. it was about 20 minutes away from my ex's house. But I went and I interacted, etc. The shower was for my ex-neighbor who is also my godmother's daughter. My godmother's son is my oldest friend and someone who I hardly ever talk to. Well I had seen him last May and introduced him to my ex so he asked how he was doing. So I told him about his painkiller addiction and how I had left him and was NOT prepared for his reaction.
My oldest friend in the world had been addicted to pain killers for a year. Last November he went on a program and had to give him self injections twice a day for two months and did well - then relapses for a few months and has been clean for about 3 months now. His girlfriend sat there very teary eyed as he talked about it - obviously he had hurt her through the process.
On the way home my mom and I talked and I got really mad at the world - how this disease could exist and hurt so many people and I had no idea it was so much around me. I thank God that although I didnt have the exact childhood I wanted - I was always safe, grew up with money, went to private schools, always had food, water, shelter, etc --
I then went on to find out that both of my grandmothers may have been addicts - interesting to know now that I am 29!!!
Addiction and alcoholism cross all socieconic lines and race and gender.
It is an equal opportunity destroyer.
In my family my mother was open about the fact that her father was an alcoholic and died of the disease. She told a few, limited horror stories of her "childhood"
I found, once I was ready and talked to family and friends about my husbands alcoholism, I discovered no one who did not have a relative, friend or co-worker that had an addiction or alcoholism.
It seems to be very prevalent and often, with other dirt, swept under the rug
In recovery
megan
__________________
Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
Maybe it's not that the world is such a terrible place but that social norms have fed the disease. The stigma of addictions, led them to be hid. So many people had them that you'd ever dream of. There have also been periods of time where dealing with feelings and emotions were either not encouraged, or sometimes even frowned upon. Even some of the trama's that some use substances to deal w/ had their own stigma attached so that many times the only recourse was to stuff your emotions and never deal with this stuff.
Today's pain killers while in some ways medical miracles, are also often very addictive. Some people who might never be addicts, or may have had some other less obvioius addiction or compulstion (maybe spending for example) are getting hooked.
These are just the thougts of me a layman. I'm sure there is more to it than this. Addictions have been around for a long time. They will be around for a long time as well. Even though it seems that as a society we are making progress in dealing with emotional traumas and learning the importance of healthy mental living, this disease has scarred many. Heck Cyn, your grandparents may have affected your parents, and that affects you.
We alanoners are lucky and blessed. Our HP has brought us to a place where we can open up, where we can deal with our feelings openly. Through others ESH, and all the tools of the program, we have the ability to break many of the cycles that are ingrained. I find so much hope for so many in that. And while I've never imagind addictions affecting wo many people either, until I came here, I would have never imagined feeling the uncoditional love and support of so many people.
There is also more love in this world than I was ever aware of too. For that I'm hopeful and grateful. I hope your HP brings you awareness of this and lets you feel it as well.
love in program, Bob
__________________
You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
It wasn't until I started recovery that I started to realize the vast scope of the disease of substance addiction. This is a disease of epidemic proportions, yet one that is still hidden, denied and not talked about too much publicly. The best estimates are that 10 to 15% of the population suffers from addiction to either alcohol or other drugs. Just think; using the average of a family with 2.5 kids. You have 2 parents, yourself, 1.5 siblings and 2.5 children, therefore there are 7 people in your immediate family. If 12% of the population is affected, on average it is possible that just about every family has one addict. This does not include grandparents or grandchildren, neices, nephews, aunts, uncles or members of extended family due to marriage or remarriage. Or close friends. Add to that statistic the number of codependents that are also victims of the disease and I bet its hard to find anyone not directly or indirectly affected by addiction. But we don't talk about it openly. Most of the general public is so minsinformed it is criminal. I am even amazed about how misinformed much of the medical community is about addiction. My brother is a cardioligist and his wife a family doctor. Both very inteligent, caring doctors, but not too informed about the disease of addiction. I asked my brother once how much time in his 12+ years of medical training he spend on addiction. He said two one hour lectures. For a disease that is at epidemic proportions? To me that is absurd. How many times do doctors mistakenly prescribe dangerous painkillers to people who inform them that they are in recovery? I've seen it happen again and again.
I can't tell you how many times over the past year, when I start to open up to people about my alcoholism, they tell me they have a family member that is also effected. (I consider alcoholism and drug addiction the same disease.) Not many have said they don't.
Misinformation about this disease is killing people and destroying families. But understanding the scope of this disease might make us not feel so isolated.
Your situation is similiar to mine in some respects. I too found out many things after my daughter's addiction came to light! How nice it is that now a days society (most of it) allows us to talk openly about addiction. I talk openly about my daughter here (with he permission) to help others by sharing our story. I found out my Grandmother was an alcoholic! The one I was so close to. I found out my mom had a half sister she never met from my Grandfather's affairs! I feel HP reveals to us things when we are ready. And I learned this in my 40s! It is great that you also heard your friends story because I feel that is how we all heal. I think it is wonderful that you and your mom can talk about it too. I don't know what I would do if I had to keep my daughter's alcoholism/drug addiction a secret like they did not that long ago ( and some still do). Keep on working the program, Cyn and your life will get better and better :) cdb ((((((cyn))))))
Well, go to the doctor and get sick. If you weren't before, you will be after a visit: physician, heal thyself!
It's wise to remember that when doctors don 't know, they often experiment, only they don't tell you that.
In Germany they give pills in the original pkg., and there is an info piece of paper inside the pkg., so you can read all the side-effects. You'd be surprised sometimes. You can also get info on Internet
Nowadays gather info and compare before swallowing: Toto's free prescription.
