The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I never thought I would be so relieved to see anger. My A appeared at the door with a very angry expression and handed me the cell phone. I have given him the spare phone but l I had to suspend the services. The phone was broken apart in two, no battery, and he had pulled the antena out. I was amazed at how calmly I took it. I didn't even address the issue. Thank goodness for phone insurance. His anger told me one thing , he's not using and he's coming down from his long run and probably already got some sleep. Thank God.
I can't even imagine how it must feel to be him. My Mom and other visiting family members outside hanging Xmas lights and laughing, enjoying themselves, as kids run around. My A is not welcomed here and he has no where to go so he stands outside by my car parked in the street. He stood there for hours until dark. I offered him to sleep in the car and gave him several blankets. It was very cold last night.
Dec. 12, Monday
This morning he was asleeping in the car, he's coming down. There was vomit outside by the car. He must have been sick. I took him a cup of coffee & later some breakfast and he eat. I allowed him to use my cell phone to make calls regarding a placement. Seems he really doesn't have bed until tomorrow Tues. so he claims. He has to be in court tomorrow about two hundred miles away to transfer a his case locally. He must apear or get a warrent. If he goes to jail now he could lose his spot in the residential. So I'm driving him to take care of things early tomorrow.
He's eating good and drinking plenty of fluids. He is also gaining clarity but he is so thin, his eyes yellow from the Hep C and he looks ill. I pray for him. He showered somewhere. He's very quiet and hasn't said much, neither have I. I'm not into guilt and shameing him.
He's sleeping out in the car again tonight. It's very cold again. He will not be allowed to move back in. He had his own room, a cell phone, a part time job on his own schedule, plenty of food, computer, transportion where ever he needed to go, he lost it all. He's homeless and out in the cold. I can't even imagine how he feels.
I got some much needed rest last night. Why am I not angry at him? Hope sets in again and I think maybe this time and I will pray.
Hang in there. I am praying that your son gets the bed and that you can find some peace and rest knowing that he is safe. You are so strong. Reading your posts has helped me to see what love is all about.
Like Tom said great examples here. Detachment, boundries. Maybe that is one of the reasons you aren't angry. You've taken the tools and put them to use in a terrible situation. This is inspiration for all.
Thanks, Bob
__________________
You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
I so admire your strength. Everyone is right. It sounds as if you have done a wonderful job of detaching...with love and stuck to your your boundaries. I will continue to pray for strength, comfort and guidance for both of you. Please let us know if he gets his bed today.
Rosa your post was so full of hope. You are detaching with love and yet still able to help your son when he needs it. I hope HP can help guide your son to the care that he desperately needs. Still praying for you. Luv Leo x
