Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · lookingup

I'm back,I'm working the steps also still at 1st step in path,and doing the Ctc,and one day at a time ,ftf meetings are in next town over and I'm got night blindness so I'm still working on trying to find someone to carpool with cause I really need ft for.reason I'm here today is that my abf mom passed away l...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 2 has been posted to the Step Work Board . Please join in and share your thoughts. Here is the address http...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for January 28 points out that many of us come to Al-Anon for a quick fix for our pain. and that many of us stayed because of the consistency, security and friendship that we find each day and because of our commitment to our growth. The reading suggests that it Is important to see recove...

Fairlee · Fairlee

hi! At my face to face meeting today we talked about step 12 (courage to change from yesterday) and it was a great discussion but I noticed everyone has a sponsor. The thought of this terrifies me. I want a sponsor, but how do I find one? What if they reject me? (I have a pretty bad fear of rejection and socia...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - some of you know that I have a lovely Aunt, 83 years old, who went from independent living 2.5 weeks ago to Hospice today. There is no obvious or apparent reason that she's declined other than her body is just giving out in a general way. In my immediate family, I am the only one left in the area of our u...

andromeda · andromeda

Funny, how I'll always find something to complain about, ugh. I have been dating my new guy for nearly 10 months. Everything is fine on the surface but I struggle with the normalcy of our relationship. No drama, no major issues (except that I think he's not a verbal guy when he expresses himself and h...

marniep222 · marniep222

I'm totally new to this, and haven't found a home group or sponsor yet. I've had an extremely hard day, and feel like I need to try and listen to as many stories for help as I can. There are two meetings in my area that are close in proximity and timed right. Is there any benefit to trying to go to both? Hel...

KT2015 · KT2015

I have been struggling with sleep on and off for a couple of years now. Sunday night I did not get much sleep at all. I got 4 hours tops and I woke up and went to work a groggy mess. I felt awful, and grumpy, and dissatisfied and like my life was miserable. My AH and I have had some of the worst arguments whe...

Pearlgirl · Pearlgirl

I dont wish to continually post problems here, I am new and wish to move forward with step one... Came home from work to witness alcoholic daughter (nearly 20) needlessly bullying younger daughter in front of friends (again!) For the fist time I asked daughter and friends to leave: in the past I have t...

NeedPeace · NeedPeace

AH got a final reprimand from work so might be losing his job (28 years with the company and 5 years from retiring). He says he didn't do anything wrong and his boss hates men. Really.... I've noticed lately he keeps asking me the same questions over and over again. The alcohol abuse must be impacting...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for January 27 speaks about self-pity and martyrdom. It points out that many times we read, or interpret a meaning into another's action that is not true. We need to learn to take things at face value and stop translating others actions or motives. . The quote is from One Day at a time in...

laurab · laurab

It's never ending. In October, after the last drinking time which resulted in no job, no home, no money, no girl friend and baby, 38 year ld A son tried living on the street for a few days. He didn't like it. My sister offered him her couch in NYC. He is on probation. He set up a program that included 5 days a we...

joker · joker

I finally took some action. I called the bank and since the mortgage is only in his name, my credit rating will not be affected and if the house sells I have half of the value. I did a stupid thing and called him. He was with her at her place and I got into a heated argument with him and her. I was so mad, I shook li...

joker · joker

Since my last update, I have been working on focusing on myself. Its been great. The ex-ABF went on another drunk after sleeping for 2 days. He contacted his ex-wife and met her and said he is not coming home tonight. I said good, I do not have to listen to lies and drunk talk all night. She can listen to you...

MollyOwl27 · MollyOwl27

Hey everyone! So I'm looking into face to face meetings and am a bit nervous. I will have to keep it secret from my spouse, which I don't love but it is what it is. He's attended AA about 7 years ago and absolutely couldn't stand it. So, to go to my own meetings will be a challenge but I think I found some early m...

NeedPeace · NeedPeace

Hello - I just found this forum on Monday and have tried to implement some of the ideas to remove the crazy and try to find peace. I'm struggling with intimacy and have been for the last 7 years but the hardest times have occurred over the last year. I can't seem to move past the thoughts in my head. I can't...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Hi all. . Its been awhile and ive found myself thinking i need to connect and update and well, process. If you have "followed" me at all you know ive been married to an alc for 17 yrs and have one 11 year child. Ihave also come to realize that my stbex is also a narcissist and that the combination h...

Debb · Debb

I saw this and thought, this is us working the program!!! {{HUGS}}

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about seeing the good and showing gratitude rather than dwelling on the negative. For those of us who have lived or are living with active As, it is easy enough to become mired in resentments and just be blind with anger toward our As. This reading is a remind...

KathRN · KathRN

im new here. My name is Kathy and I'm the mother of a 36 year old binge alcoholic daughter, who has 5 kids and has made bad choices all of her life, for which I have always paid the price. I hope that I am able to write this post, and am not breaking any rules here. I have a very long story, which I will share lat...

Jerry F · Jerry F

In my heart I pray that those who have suffered as a result of someone else's drinking and using, have the tool of our literature as the world-wide fellowship is represented along with their ESH. Page 26 speaks from that writers miracle of recovery which has so definitely displayed my own. My God...

mjferg · mjferg

I am not in a good place right now, struggling with a family situation that is too painful for words and winter. My water lines froze and busted, I have been without water for several days. still looking for a car I can afford.I guess all of these things are wearing me down, I am feeling quite defeated. I...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hey there MIP family!!! I just remembered that I am to chair our local F2F meeting on Wednesday. The topic is gossip. I am very distracted by events in my real life so would love to draw upon you all to get some input. What I do know that I intend to share is that gossip is considered one of three obstacles...

Florph · Florph

Hi,I am a wife of a drug and alcohol addict. for years I have tried to help him quit,I finally realize that is just not going to happen,I have 3 kids with him.i am hurt,I am not he same person that I once was and I hate it,I feel like I let his actions,his addiction change me in a way I'm no longer happy with my l...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family :) Sorry its Been So Long, but I Was Sitting here thinking of my "Al-Anon/MIP" Blessings and I Realized a Few things and want to come here to Share them... :D When I Landed Here Just over 7years ago, I was a Complete Train Wreck, this was My 1st Stop MIP :D within a Couple weeks yo...

Yankeerose · Yankeerose

So my mother told me yesterday we shouldn't obsess over money. if you and your family have good health that's all that matters right? Well yes health is a biggy but so is paying your rent and feeding and clothing your children. A little background for those of you who don't know: I work full time. I was lu...

Debb · Debb

I find that gratitude interrupts anxiety!! {{HUGS}}

ShellyM · ShellyM

I've posted a few times before. My AH has cirrhosis and was initially sober for over 2 years. The alcohol is back. I thought as recently as a week ago that it was an isolated incident, but it wasn't. I've been going to Al Anon since right after that happened and it has been a Godsend. I'm still new and do not y...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for January 25 speaks about liking the drama and the excitement of crisis in other people's lives, and ignoring our own life. By coming into Al-Anon we are encouraged to keep the focus on ourselves,talk about ourselves and not anybody else. Many of us discover that we...

Jen61 · Jen61

I have been the alcohol police for 11 years. It is a thankless job, stressful, no benefits and the pay is low. I have decided to quit this job. I gave my two weeks notice last week.Over the years I have gone to F2F meetings for Al-anon and also AA, online meetings, read books, read message boards, etc. ...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well daughter turned the big 13 today and we did just as we pleased without being beholden to anyone and, it was lovely

This time last year we were staying at my mothers with no fixed address and the stress of it all had us both pretty downcast. The year before we stayed with mother at her beach house and...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

So Friday I had a moment of clarity. I have been racking my brain and resources trying to figure out what to do for my ABF as his birthday is this week. But then I thought about my birthday this past year and how I was so disappointed. My ABF was in jail on my bday so I decided to go visit him and supersize him as I...

pjwa12726 · pjwa12726

Today I am visiting family and I am struggling with the memories of our life in better times. I say better times but they really were not better. My AH and I are living separately because my life living with him became unmanageable. There were his vices which were first alcohol, then grass and who knows w...

joker · joker

Lately these days she's full of plans and they always change. Its just crazy. Found this on another members page, and can I relate. He is full of plans now and its always changing. Its just crazy. I can so relate. But how do you let that go? I need to let what he says go as his plans are forever changing. I just...

Foothold · Foothold

Our alcoholic son, who we no longer allow to live here, still receives mail at our house. Spouse and I talked it over, and we're going to try to convince AS to get a post office box and change his address. We are willing to pay for six months' box rent up front to cut this tie he has with our home. He comes to get...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for January 24 speaks about being honest with ourselves and with others. It points out that we do not have to pretend to feel what we do not feel or want things that we do not want. It suggests that Al-Anon does not tell me how to behave and does not legislate right or wrong choices. It si...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i finally went to the Alanon meeting near my new place. It had a differnt but good vibe there. It was at 8pm so i took the bus and found the place despite anxiety. The meeting was a candlelight one. I had never attended a candle light meeting. With the lights so low, many people shared their pain and their ho...

Pearlgirl · Pearlgirl

I understand there's some blizzard conditions for many members right now, where I live it's summer but our family had it's own storm today.. Firstly found a stash of marijuana daughter had hidden.. then daughter and AH had a screaming match over financial information my daughter was refusing to sha...

bedroomeyez39 · bedroomeyez39

I dont even know if this is where i need to be so I apologize in advance I am not being directly affected by someone drinking. What is happening is my boyfriend of 2 months is in AA. I met him almost a year into sobriety. I have been trying my best to help support him even tho I dont understand what the AA 12 ste...

Pearlgirl · Pearlgirl

I am new here and am so worn down by my husband and daughter's drinking.. Over Christmas I witnessed my university aged daughter, who was on holiday with us, daily binge drinking with friends, whilst my husband would of an evening sink enough beer/gin to anaethetise himself comfortably and talk in re...

catlover26 · catlover26

In March it will be 2 yrs that I have been dating my A boyfriend. I knew with him being 15 yrs older there would be differences but he just seems to be changing so fast. I know some of it can be related to his ptsd and depression but I feel some he could have better control and try to get a more positive attitude....

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for January 23 speaks about Step Three. This is the Step where we are asked to make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. The reading points out that this is a huge decision. It helps to work the Steps in order because the order in which the fi...

joker · joker

I am trying not to take this personally. ABF has gone to meet his ex-wife who he claims wants to get back together. He needs to get some paperwork from her. I just smiled and waved at him as he left. I Am trying to keep the focus on me and what I need to do for myself. He has made all kinds of promises again, we are...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I was going to get lunch at McD's. While in the line a woman in front of me held out $3 and something cents and asked if I could buy her lunch and pay the difference. Okay...conference with HP and said I would taking the 3 bucks. HP asked me what do you need her 3 bucks for? Hmmmm actually I don't I t...

lmb2015 · lmb2015

I am new to this os if I am posting the wrong way, or in the wrong place, let me apologize in advance. When I say unconventional, the person I am trying to help is the best friend of my children. She is now 17, but in my life since she was about 3. I love her as my child. Comes from completely destructive, dysfun...

joker · joker

Well, it happened. Abf came home from work and relapsed and got very drunk on beer and double whisky drinks. He was sober for 3 months without a program. He was very very sick the next day but I did not baby him nor feel sorry for him at all. I just detached. He said all the right words, I can not do this anymore...

Amandasheart · Amandasheart

So I am going to try and make a long story short, or at least the cliff notes version. I have an ah; I left for a little over a year and he was sober the last 7 months, he lost 140 lbs and was doing so well, so I went back thinking things had dramatically changed, boy was I wrong, he began drinking again, he has a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So....for those who don't know, I have online stores. As such, Paypal is my payment processor by choice and by default (required on ebaY).... Needless to say, Paypal's records for me and my social do not match my SSN...so no matter how many times I send in the required documents, each year at tax time,...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I started seeing a therapist who has an expertise in addiction and family counciling. He made a comment durring a session suggesting I get out of the way and let my AH experience the fallout of his drinking. My AH is functioning, and much of the fallout is showing up as issues in our marriage which in his e...

Nightingale · Nightingale

Does anyone know of any online groups like this one for friends and family of those suffering from seaver anxiety and depression?

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for January 21 speaks about being able to identify what is our business and what is not our business. It points out that prior to program we thought it was our business to help fix everything and everybody around. Al-Anon helps me to listen and learn from my own body, soul and HP. How do I d...

joker · joker

jointdoc · jointdoc

This is brand new to me, and I am very sorry that this is so long. . I am not sure if there is a place for me. I'm not an alcoholic or drug addict. Neither is my wife. But my wife's brother (age 40s) is an alcoholic and drug addict. . His job (trucker) takes him away frequently, which gives him opportunity to h...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for January 20 speaks about the principle of " anonymity". That this spiritual foundation of our traditions makes it possible for members to leave not only our surnames and all our labels and expectations outside the rooms, so we can put aside what we are and begin to kno...

Mylife16 · Mylife16

Here's the situation, it hasn't even been two solid weeks of me going to alanon to give me strength not knowledge, he came home distraught says we need to talk, to make a long story short he says because of his abandonment from when he was a child to the alcohol to not having a happy healthy relationship to...

KT2015 · KT2015

The topic of my RL meeting this week was on fear. The moment it was introduced I wanted to run. Then we did some readings from the literature about fear. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack at times in that meeting and even though I really wanted to share I just couldn't bring myself to do it with...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

Hi everyone. Major slip up last night. AH got his one year yesterday and I got a mental movie that played over all the carnage this disease has left in it's wake the last five years. ( it gets better ) I then proceeded to take his inventory, remind him of carnage, throw a tantrum and sabotage his night! N...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks about the importance of sharing at meetings, both for the person who is doing the sharing and for those that are there to listen. Like the writer, the first year of meetings were difficult for me- depending on what was happening in my life, I would either...

joker · joker

I attended a face to face al-anon meeting last night and it was great to share my emotions. I have also been reading a lot on this forum and its helping me feel I can do this. I had a moment of wow, when I remember being in a sick relationship with my ex-husband, ex bf's and how they use to say I was crazy. Today...

bud · bud

I brought all of my MIP family support, my support from my HP, and my alanon toolkit to my Dad's funeral yesterday. For years, I had imagined this moment as being a tortuous culmination of years of being a family scapegoat. What actually happened was none of that. This is another life lesson in my kee...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Death of a loved one (Preview) I'm back,I'm working the steps also still at 1st step in path,and doing the Ctc,and one day at a time ,ftf meetings are in next town over and I'm got night blindness so I'm still working on trying to find someone to carpool with cause I really need ft for.reason I'm here today is that my abf mom passed away l...	lookingup	4	522	Jan 28, 2016 by lookingup
	Step 2 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 2 has been posted to the Step Work Board . Please join in and share your thoughts. Here is the address http...	hotrod	1	507	Jan 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading 1-28-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for January 28 points out that many of us come to Al-Anon for a quick fix for our pain. and that many of us stayed because of the consistency, security and friendship that we find each day and because of our commitment to our growth. The reading suggests that it Is important to see recove...	hotrod	2	402	Jan 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Finding a sponsor (Preview) hi! At my face to face meeting today we talked about step 12 (courage to change from yesterday) and it was a great discussion but I noticed everyone has a sponsor. The thought of this terrifies me. I want a sponsor, but how do I find one? What if they reject me? (I have a pretty bad fear of rejection and socia...	Fairlee	4	4477	Jan 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	I Wanna Be a Kid Again... (Preview) So - some of you know that I have a lovely Aunt, 83 years old, who went from independent living 2.5 weeks ago to Hospice today. There is no obvious or apparent reason that she's declined other than her body is just giving out in a general way. In my immediate family, I am the only one left in the area of our u...	Iamhere	26	778	Jan 28, 2016 by hotrod
	Struggling with boring and normal! (Preview) Funny, how I'll always find something to complain about, ugh. I have been dating my new guy for nearly 10 months. Everything is fine on the surface but I struggle with the normalcy of our relationship. No drama, no major issues (except that I think he's not a verbal guy when he expresses himself and h...	andromeda	15	817	Jan 28, 2016 by gillygilly
	New to this - 2 meetings in one day? (Preview) I'm totally new to this, and haven't found a home group or sponsor yet. I've had an extremely hard day, and feel like I need to try and listen to as many stories for help as I can. There are two meetings in my area that are close in proximity and timed right. Is there any benefit to trying to go to both? Hel...	marniep222	13	624	Jan 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	When I'm tired I'm a mess (Preview) I have been struggling with sleep on and off for a couple of years now. Sunday night I did not get much sleep at all. I got 4 hours tops and I woke up and went to work a groggy mess. I felt awful, and grumpy, and dissatisfied and like my life was miserable. My AH and I have had some of the worst arguments whe...	KT2015	4	583	Jan 28, 2016 by Debb
	Rock Bottom (Preview) I dont wish to continually post problems here, I am new and wish to move forward with step one... Came home from work to witness alcoholic daughter (nearly 20) needlessly bullying younger daughter in front of friends (again!) For the fist time I asked daughter and friends to leave: in the past I have t...	Pearlgirl	4	633	Jan 28, 2016 by Pearlgirl
	Lies, Lies and Loss of Memory (Preview) AH got a final reprimand from work so might be losing his job (28 years with the company and 5 years from retiring). He says he didn't do anything wrong and his boss hates men. Really.... I've noticed lately he keeps asking me the same questions over and over again. The alcohol abuse must be impacting...	NeedPeace	3	656	Jan 28, 2016 by Jen61
	Courage to Change 1-27-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for January 27 speaks about self-pity and martyrdom. It points out that many times we read, or interpret a meaning into another's action that is not true. We need to learn to take things at face value and stop translating others actions or motives. . The quote is from One Day at a time in...	hotrod	8	543	Jan 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	There is no solution and I have no control (Preview) It's never ending. In October, after the last drinking time which resulted in no job, no home, no money, no girl friend and baby, 38 year ld A son tried living on the street for a few days. He didn't like it. My sister offered him her couch in NYC. He is on probation. He set up a program that included 5 days a we...	laurab	6	571	Jan 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	I am so grateful yet angry (Preview) I finally took some action. I called the bank and since the mortgage is only in his name, my credit rating will not be affected and if the house sells I have half of the value. I did a stupid thing and called him. He was with her at her place and I got into a heated argument with him and her. I was so mad, I shook li...	joker	1	425	Jan 27, 2016 by laurab
	Clarity (Preview) Since my last update, I have been working on focusing on myself. Its been great. The ex-ABF went on another drunk after sleeping for 2 days. He contacted his ex-wife and met her and said he is not coming home tonight. I said good, I do not have to listen to lies and drunk talk all night. She can listen to you...	joker	4	753	Jan 27, 2016 by joker
	Nervous about f2f alanon (Preview) Hey everyone! So I'm looking into face to face meetings and am a bit nervous. I will have to keep it secret from my spouse, which I don't love but it is what it is. He's attended AA about 7 years ago and absolutely couldn't stand it. So, to go to my own meetings will be a challenge but I think I found some early m...	MollyOwl27	14	518	Jan 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	Guilt and intimacy with the AH (Preview) Hello - I just found this forum on Monday and have tried to implement some of the ideas to remove the crazy and try to find peace. I'm struggling with intimacy and have been for the last 7 years but the hardest times have occurred over the last year. I can't seem to move past the thoughts in my head. I can't...	NeedPeace	10	707	Jan 27, 2016 by milkwood
	connecting (Preview) Hi all. . Its been awhile and ive found myself thinking i need to connect and update and well, process. If you have "followed" me at all you know ive been married to an alc for 17 yrs and have one 11 year child. Ihave also come to realize that my stbex is also a narcissist and that the combination h...	Theoceancalls	8	510	Jan 27, 2016 by Jozie
	18 Things Mentally Strong People Do (Preview) I saw this and thought, this is us working the program!!! {{HUGS}}	Debb	6	721	Jan 27, 2016 by KathRN
	Hope for Today Jan 26 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about seeing the good and showing gratitude rather than dwelling on the negative. For those of us who have lived or are living with active As, it is easy enough to become mired in resentments and just be blind with anger toward our As. This reading is a remind...	yanksfan51	7	529	Jan 26, 2016 by Jerry F
	New and very much in need of help (Preview) im new here. My name is Kathy and I'm the mother of a 36 year old binge alcoholic daughter, who has 5 kids and has made bad choices all of her life, for which I have always paid the price. I hope that I am able to write this post, and am not breaking any rules here. I have a very long story, which I will share lat...	KathRN	10	849	Jan 26, 2016 by MollyOwl27
	Courage 1-26-16 (Preview) In my heart I pray that those who have suffered as a result of someone else's drinking and using, have the tool of our literature as the world-wide fellowship is represented along with their ESH. Page 26 speaks from that writers miracle of recovery which has so definitely displayed my own. My God...	Jerry F	3	519	Jan 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Dreaming of summer (Preview) I am not in a good place right now, struggling with a family situation that is too painful for words and winter. My water lines froze and busted, I have been without water for several days. still looking for a car I can afford.I guess all of these things are wearing me down, I am feeling quite defeated. I...	mjferg	7	393	Jan 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Would Love to Have Input on Gossip (Preview) Hey there MIP family!!! I just remembered that I am to chair our local F2F meeting on Wednesday. The topic is gossip. I am very distracted by events in my real life so would love to draw upon you all to get some input. What I do know that I intend to share is that gossip is considered one of three obstacles...	Iamhere	12	1211	Jan 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sponsor? (Preview) Hi,I am a wife of a drug and alcohol addict. for years I have tried to help him quit,I finally realize that is just not going to happen,I have 3 kids with him.i am hurt,I am not he same person that I once was and I hate it,I feel like I let his actions,his addiction change me in a way I'm no longer happy with my l...	Florph	6	487	Jan 26, 2016 by maryjane
	Growth & Graditude to You & HP :) (Preview) Hello MIP Family :) Sorry its Been So Long, but I Was Sitting here thinking of my "Al-Anon/MIP" Blessings and I Realized a Few things and want to come here to Share them... :D When I Landed Here Just over 7years ago, I was a Complete Train Wreck, this was My 1st Stop MIP :D within a Couple weeks yo...	Jozie	12	725	Jan 26, 2016 by Jozie
	Obsessing about money and paying the bills (Preview) So my mother told me yesterday we shouldn't obsess over money. if you and your family have good health that's all that matters right? Well yes health is a biggy but so is paying your rent and feeding and clothing your children. A little background for those of you who don't know: I work full time. I was lu...	Yankeerose	24	651	Jan 26, 2016 by Yankeerose
	Life Can be Sweet & Bitter (Preview) I find that gratitude interrupts anxiety!! {{HUGS}}	Debb	11	763	Jan 26, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Blizzard and Active Alcoholic - Help! (Preview) I've posted a few times before. My AH has cirrhosis and was initially sober for over 2 years. The alcohol is back. I thought as recently as a week ago that it was an isolated incident, but it wasn't. I've been going to Al Anon since right after that happened and it has been a Godsend. I'm still new and do not y...	ShellyM	15	767	Jan 26, 2016 by milkwood
	Courage to Change Reading 1-25-2016 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for January 25 speaks about liking the drama and the excitement of crisis in other people's lives, and ignoring our own life. By coming into Al-Anon we are encouraged to keep the focus on ourselves,talk about ourselves and not anybody else. Many of us discover that we...	hotrod	9	827	Jan 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Alcohol Police... (Preview) I have been the alcohol police for 11 years. It is a thankless job, stressful, no benefits and the pay is low. I have decided to quit this job. I gave my two weeks notice last week.Over the years I have gone to F2F meetings for Al-anon and also AA, online meetings, read books, read message boards, etc. ...	Jen61	11	805	Jan 26, 2016 by SunshineGirl
	Milestone day :-) (Preview) Well daughter turned the big 13 today and we did just as we pleased without being beholden to anyone and, it was lovely This time last year we were staying at my mothers with no fixed address and the stress of it all had us both pretty downcast. The year before we stayed with mother at her beach house and...	missmeliss	10	639	Jan 26, 2016 by KathRN
	Moment of clarity (Preview) So Friday I had a moment of clarity. I have been racking my brain and resources trying to figure out what to do for my ABF as his birthday is this week. But then I thought about my birthday this past year and how I was so disappointed. My ABF was in jail on my bday so I decided to go visit him and supersize him as I...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	12	717	Jan 25, 2016 by KathRN
	Struggling today (Preview) Today I am visiting family and I am struggling with the memories of our life in better times. I say better times but they really were not better. My AH and I are living separately because my life living with him became unmanageable. There were his vices which were first alcohol, then grass and who knows w...	pjwa12726	8	493	Jan 25, 2016 by pjwa12726
	How to let go (Preview) Lately these days she's full of plans and they always change. Its just crazy. Found this on another members page, and can I relate. He is full of plans now and its always changing. Its just crazy. I can so relate. But how do you let that go? I need to let what he says go as his plans are forever changing. I just...	joker	7	818	Jan 25, 2016 by missmeliss
	Now that he's out of our home (Preview) Our alcoholic son, who we no longer allow to live here, still receives mail at our house. Spouse and I talked it over, and we're going to try to convince AS to get a post office box and change his address. We are willing to pay for six months' box rent up front to cut this tie he has with our home. He comes to get...	Foothold	11	793	Jan 25, 2016 by Foothold
	Courage to Change Reading 1-24-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for January 24 speaks about being honest with ourselves and with others. It points out that we do not have to pretend to feel what we do not feel or want things that we do not want. It suggests that Al-Anon does not tell me how to behave and does not legislate right or wrong choices. It si...	hotrod	8	473	Jan 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	face to face meeting (Preview) i finally went to the Alanon meeting near my new place. It had a differnt but good vibe there. It was at 8pm so i took the bus and found the place despite anxiety. The meeting was a candlelight one. I had never attended a candle light meeting. With the lights so low, many people shared their pain and their ho...	YARNCRAZY	2	380	Jan 24, 2016 by hotrod
	Stormy weather in the Southern hemisphere! (Preview) I understand there's some blizzard conditions for many members right now, where I live it's summer but our family had it's own storm today.. Firstly found a stash of marijuana daughter had hidden.. then daughter and AH had a screaming match over financial information my daughter was refusing to sha...	Pearlgirl	5	609	Jan 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Unsure I belong here (Preview) I dont even know if this is where i need to be so I apologize in advance I am not being directly affected by someone drinking. What is happening is my boyfriend of 2 months is in AA. I met him almost a year into sobriety. I have been trying my best to help support him even tho I dont understand what the AA 12 ste...	bedroomeyez39	6	545	Jan 24, 2016 by deacon
	Sick of the drinking (Preview) I am new here and am so worn down by my husband and daughter's drinking.. Over Christmas I witnessed my university aged daughter, who was on holiday with us, daily binge drinking with friends, whilst my husband would of an evening sink enough beer/gin to anaethetise himself comfortably and talk in re...	Pearlgirl	7	616	Jan 23, 2016 by Pearlgirl
	Trying to focus on myself but it's hard (Preview) In March it will be 2 yrs that I have been dating my A boyfriend. I knew with him being 15 yrs older there would be differences but he just seems to be changing so fast. I know some of it can be related to his ptsd and depression but I feel some he could have better control and try to get a more positive attitude....	catlover26	14	709	Jan 23, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change Reading 1-23-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for January 23 speaks about Step Three. This is the Step where we are asked to make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. The reading points out that this is a huge decision. It helps to work the Steps in order because the order in which the fi...	hotrod	4	674	Jan 23, 2016 by stillhangingon
	ABF off again (Preview) I am trying not to take this personally. ABF has gone to meet his ex-wife who he claims wants to get back together. He needs to get some paperwork from her. I just smiled and waved at him as he left. I Am trying to keep the focus on me and what I need to do for myself. He has made all kinds of promises again, we are...	joker	4	378	Jan 23, 2016 by Mirandac
	Higher Power on the job (Preview) and I was going to get lunch at McD's. While in the line a woman in front of me held out $3 and something cents and asked if I could buy her lunch and pay the difference. Okay...conference with HP and said I would taking the 3 bucks. HP asked me what do you need her 3 bucks for? Hmmmm actually I don't I t...	Jerry F	3	519	Jan 23, 2016 by Mirandac
	I am an unconventional newbie (Preview) I am new to this os if I am posting the wrong way, or in the wrong place, let me apologize in advance. When I say unconventional, the person I am trying to help is the best friend of my children. She is now 17, but in my life since she was about 3. I love her as my child. Comes from completely destructive, dysfun...	lmb2015	3	593	Jan 22, 2016 by Jerry F
	ABF relapsed-update (Preview) Well, it happened. Abf came home from work and relapsed and got very drunk on beer and double whisky drinks. He was sober for 3 months without a program. He was very very sick the next day but I did not baby him nor feel sorry for him at all. I just detached. He said all the right words, I can not do this anymore...	joker	3	533	Jan 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Am I insane? (Preview) So I am going to try and make a long story short, or at least the cliff notes version. I have an ah; I left for a little over a year and he was sober the last 7 months, he lost 140 lbs and was doing so well, so I went back thinking things had dramatically changed, boy was I wrong, he began drinking again, he has a...	Amandasheart	9	691	Jan 22, 2016 by Jaclyn
	I Guess HP Thinks I Need a Lesson in Patience.... (Preview) So....for those who don't know, I have online stores. As such, Paypal is my payment processor by choice and by default (required on ebaY).... Needless to say, Paypal's records for me and my social do not match my SSN...so no matter how many times I send in the required documents, each year at tax time,...	Iamhere	12	531	Jan 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	getting out of the way (Preview) I started seeing a therapist who has an expertise in addiction and family counciling. He made a comment durring a session suggesting I get out of the way and let my AH experience the fallout of his drinking. My AH is functioning, and much of the fallout is showing up as issues in our marriage which in his e...	Taraxacum	11	896	Jan 22, 2016 by KT2015
	Friends & Fam of depression (Preview) Does anyone know of any online groups like this one for friends and family of those suffering from seaver anxiety and depression?	Nightingale	5	3077	Jan 21, 2016 by gillygilly
	Courage to Change Reading 1-21-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for January 21 speaks about being able to identify what is our business and what is not our business. It points out that prior to program we thought it was our business to help fix everything and everybody around. Al-Anon helps me to listen and learn from my own body, soul and HP. How do I d...	hotrod	6	647	Jan 21, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Control (Preview)	joker	10	711	Jan 21, 2016 by andromeda
	Is there a forum for me? (Preview) This is brand new to me, and I am very sorry that this is so long. . I am not sure if there is a place for me. I'm not an alcoholic or drug addict. Neither is my wife. But my wife's brother (age 40s) is an alcoholic and drug addict. . His job (trucker) takes him away frequently, which gives him opportunity to h...	jointdoc	20	928	Jan 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 1-20-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for January 20 speaks about the principle of " anonymity". That this spiritual foundation of our traditions makes it possible for members to leave not only our surnames and all our labels and expectations outside the rooms, so we can put aside *what we are* and begin to kno...	hotrod	3	617	Jan 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Help, he wants more physicality to feel better... (Preview) Here's the situation, it hasn't even been two solid weeks of me going to alanon to give me strength not knowledge, he came home distraught says we need to talk, to make a long story short he says because of his abandonment from when he was a child to the alcohol to not having a happy healthy relationship to...	Mylife16	6	626	Jan 20, 2016 by CoopsMom
	fear (Preview) The topic of my RL meeting this week was on fear. The moment it was introduced I wanted to run. Then we did some readings from the literature about fear. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack at times in that meeting and even though I really wanted to share I just couldn't bring myself to do it with...	KT2015	10	802	Jan 20, 2016 by LedfootJenny
	He got his one year coin, and I got a temper tantrum (Preview) Hi everyone. Major slip up last night. AH got his one year yesterday and I got a mental movie that played over all the carnage this disease has left in it's wake the last five years. ( it gets better ) I then proceeded to take his inventory, remind him of carnage, throw a tantrum and sabotage his night! N...	LedfootJenny	22	836	Jan 19, 2016 by bud
	Hope for Today Jan 19 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks about the importance of sharing at meetings, both for the person who is doing the sharing and for those that are there to listen. Like the writer, the first year of meetings were difficult for me- depending on what was happening in my life, I would either...	yanksfan51	7	575	Jan 19, 2016 by bud
	Being told crazy (Preview) I attended a face to face al-anon meeting last night and it was great to share my emotions. I have also been reading a lot on this forum and its helping me feel I can do this. I had a moment of wow, when I remember being in a sick relationship with my ex-husband, ex bf's and how they use to say I was crazy. Today...	joker	2	613	Jan 19, 2016 by Debb
	Thank you + Incredible outcome (Preview) I brought all of my MIP family support, my support from my HP, and my alanon toolkit to my Dad's funeral yesterday. For years, I had imagined this moment as being a tortuous culmination of years of being a family scapegoat. What actually happened was none of that. This is another life lesson in my kee...	bud	6	686	Jan 19, 2016 by bud
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.