The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
im new here. My name is Kathy and I'm the mother of a 36 year old binge alcoholic daughter, who has 5 kids and has made bad choices all of her life, for which I have always paid the price. I hope that I am able to write this post, and am not breaking any rules here. I have a very long story, which I will share later, as I am short on time. I attended my first ever Alanon meeting, last night, online, and I liked it very much. I will be attending either the morning or afternoon meetings daily, as often as I can! I thank God, and a new friend, for showing me the way here. I am at the end of my rope with my daughter, and especially myself, for remaining co dependant for so very many years, and it's beginning to ruin my life physically, emotionally, and especially financially. I have always had my husband to share burden with, 36 years, and he passed away recently from cancer. I need help and support, desperately! Thank you for listening!
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KathyRN
"A PROBLEM IS ONLY A PROBLEM, IF YOU CHOOSE TO SEE IT AS A PROBLEM!"
There is a symbol at the end of my subject line, where you click on the post to read it. Do you guys see it? Can anyone tell me what it means? It's too small for me to make out. Thank you
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KathyRN
"A PROBLEM IS ONLY A PROBLEM, IF YOU CHOOSE TO SEE IT AS A PROBLEM!"
Hi Kath, welcome to MIP. I'm pleased that you went to your first meeting last night, and will continue to go. There is much wisdom here, and in the face to face world, on how to deal with alcoholism.
Are you talking about the tag symbol to the right of your subject? It is to put tags onto the post so people may search for it easier. Some people use it, most don't.
Hi Kathy Welcome The symbol you are referring to is "a question mark ". I am happy that you reached out and connected. This is a "WE "program as it is difficult to handle this disease alone. Alcoholism is a progressive, chronic disease that can be arrested but never cured. Alanon offers tools to family members so that we can maintain our sanity while still treating our fmaily members with courtesy.
Remember you did not cause the disease, cannot control it or cure it. The best we can do is learn how to respond to it in a healthy fashion. Alanon offers those tools
I am sorry to read of the loss of your husband of many years and hope that you keep coming back
Welcome Kathyrn, it all takes time to get there. Most of us Are a work in progress helping each other along. I found face To face meetings so very helpful. There is so much to learn If you go With an open mind. Changing and growing is hard work. Its is all about us getting better and stronger with new tools to live by. It takes Awhile to get the concepts, you can find the three daily readers to buy and Generally there is a lending library for other literature at ftf mtgs.
Sorry for the loss of your husband
((((((Kathyrn)))))))
-- Edited by Mirandac on Wednesday 20th of January 2016 11:28:00 AM
Kath, I am glad you came here for support and that you have found Al-Anon meetings. I am so sorry for your loss of your husband. I do understand the feeling of desperation and being at the end of your rope due to the stress of living with alcoholism in the family.
As you can see from all the responses here, and from people you will meet in meetings, you are not alone. I found that miracles happened once I opened up to others about what I was going through.
I'm sending positive thoughts to you. Keep coming back.
Hey Kathy - glad you stopped over by here after last night's meeting! Glad to see that you are here for the 'long haul'.
All above me are spot on - it's a 'we' program. Even the first step starts with 'We' - so no more trying to battle this disease and all it brings alone.
I've got to run out and about so short on time for now, but wanted to say, "hey" to you!!
Just so you know, Betty (hotrod) has posted the first step (look to the top right) and we all go through them together. I've started writing but not yet finished so mine is a draft on my PC. Feel free to join us and/or read what others have shared - all resources were so very helpful to me!!!
You will need to create an account for 'over there @ the Step board', but you can use the same name and password if desired.....not necessary but an option.
Please keep coming back and so glad you are here!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Kath...also am very glad you found your way home...Aloha! This family is about unity and healing we are most often also members of the Al-Anon Family Groups world wide and have been where you have been also within the disease of alcoholism....It is a family disease and no one gets a free pass in this disease...we are all affected. I was born and raised within the insanity of it and lived for 37 years in its active grip with relatives and friends and associates along with succumbing to the addiction myself.
Getting into recovery was a miracle gift for me and I learned how to be free of its daily insanity...In Hawaii we have daily groups to participate in and for that I am most grateful. Please keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
I can't thank you all enough, for your kind words of wisdom! I'm so very glad that I found this online group as I am unable to attend ftf meetings right now, but soon, I hope. I've been an RN for 27 years and have helped countless families deal with countless issues, but after my accident and this alcoholism, I have renewed respect for the lives of my patients. Thank you once again for your support!
__________________
KathyRN
"A PROBLEM IS ONLY A PROBLEM, IF YOU CHOOSE TO SEE IT AS A PROBLEM!"
Welcome Kath. Here you will find support, guidance and hope like I did. It helped me immensely at the beginning to cope and get going to save my own sanity. Glad you are here. So very sorry about the loss of your husband.
Welcome Kath, I'm new as well and excited to be here. How amazing is this forum/chat group? It sounds like you're taking some great steps to improve your life :)
im new here. My name is Kathy and I'm the mother of a 36 year old binge alcoholic daughter, who has 5 kids and has made bad choices all of her life, for which I have always paid the price. I hope that I am able to write this post, and am not breaking any rules here. I have a very long story, which I will share later, as I am short on time. I attended my first ever Alanon meeting, last night, online, and I liked it very much. I will be attending either the morning or afternoon meetings daily, as often as I can! I thank God, and a new friend, for showing me the way here. I am at the end of my rope with my daughter, and especially myself, for remaining co dependant for so very many years, and it's beginning to ruin my life physically, emotionally, and especially financially. I have always had my husband to share burden with, 36 years, and he passed away recently from cancer. I need help and support, desperately! Thank you for listening!