The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for January 20 speaks about the principle of " anonymity". That this spiritual foundation of our traditions makes it possible for members to leave not only our surnames and all our labels and expectations outside the rooms, so we can put aside what we are and begin to know who we are.
As we begin to know and appreciate this valuable spiritual principle, we understand why it is so important to protect the anonymity of others. If I want the benefits that the program has to offer, I have anobligation to extend those benefits and respect to every person.
The quote is from,"Why Anonymity.:" In Al-Anon; each person should be able to leave an Al-Anon meeting secure in the knowledge that what he or she has shared will not be repeated."
This principle of anonymity is so different from that of my FOO attitudes . The gossip, judgement and advise giving was monumental.
I never trusted them with my secrets. I was so closed up because I was afraid of the criticisms, and gossip so that learning to trust and share at a meeting or face to face with a sponsor took much time.
This was one of the hardest things I had to over come to attend a face to face meeting. I was very afraid that anonymity would be breached and had a lifetime of gossip, judgement, and criticism in my family also. It took me awhile but I finally accepted that there is no guarantees that my anonymity wont be broken but it began to matter less and less and my getting heathy mattered more and more. I hold anonymity sacred but have no control over others at the meetings and frankly I don't concern myself with it any longer.
Good evening all - thank you Betty for the daily and your ESH. I had my F2F meeting today and we discussed this for a minute before we moved on to out selected topic for the day.
One element that spoke to me today is the 'leaving who you were outside the door, so you can become who you are.' It took me a while to let my guard down when I arrived as I was afraid that the real me would not be likeable, let alone loveable. The parts about not sharing who I know outside the room were familiar and I have great respect for that portion. It's the 'me' who had to get over who I portrayed to the world vs. whom I really am.
I am no longer that fretful person who arrived, full of anger, fear and resentments. I am a calmer, kinder person who respects each person, each message and each moment of my journey in Al-Anon. I am not sure why this spoke to me today but it did and made me feel very grateful.
Thanks for the service and all the lovely shares!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
