Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

afglin · afglin

A freind in ALAnon called me yesterday. Her husband got arrested for DUI again. He called and betggged her to bail him out and she said no. He said he was having heart flutterings and refused to tell them. She said what if he dies and I did not go bail him out? I was trying not to give advice...but wh...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

well my a came home after work and grabbed the two bags i had packed last night wouldn't give me his keys and said he'll be back another time to give me money to pay the rent. he said he has to go to the casino with his mom. i hate this feeling so much. he is acting like he just doesnt care and i know he's lying abou...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Okay, I have to admitt, I am angry. I just don't understand. I have been trying to accept this as a disease. I have been trying to just take care of myself and the kids. I have been trying to be compassionate and stay out of his stuff. Then I talk to a lady at the rehab that tells me that no he does not have to...

bluecrow · bluecrow

Dear Friends, I would like to express deep gratitude to the new family that I have found you. Thank you for all the support, it has made the world of difference. Maybe you answered my postings or maybe you read them and sent silent prayers&nb...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

You all may know from earlier post that I left my husband a month ago. It hasn't always been easy but I don't regret my decision at all. It seems that I am now coming out of a fog. We all talk about the alcoholic's denial but I am also having to deal with my own denial. Looking back I...

marmare · marmare

I have been reading the posts and responding to some but have been so busy and tired. Today makes 25 days my A is clean and sober! He is tired and of course irratable on and off. I am trying to stay focused on me. Of course he isn't going to meetings or counseling he is a "tough guy"...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hi guys, i was trying to figure out for the most part of today..what or how do you separate the addiction from the person? my ex makes sooo many promises and is all plans about the future but for some reason i cant distinguish what is fact and what is fiction! i want to believe him when he says he wants a bet...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

FRIDAY , DECEMBER 09, 2005 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=1271>. Asking for Help It's okay to ask for help.One of the most absurd things we do to ourselves is not asking for the help we need from a friend, a family member,...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hi everyone im asking anyone to respond if they want to about their stories about leaving the a in their life and how they are better for it. i need to hear the hope that if i choose to ask him to leave i will know im doing what's right. i want to hear what i do have to look forward to. because i know if i stay there...

megan · megan

I have a picture of a narcissus flower hanging in my apartment. It has been there since I moved into my own apartment in July after leaving my alcoholic husband of 14 years in May. It is there to remind me that I live here, apart from my emotionally abusive A to take care of myself. I hit my bottom. I...

Faith73 · Faith73

This is really hard. I've been back and forth with my A for over two years now. The issues run deeper than this disease for me...intimacy and communication were a problem from the start. We broke up (for the upteenth time) about a week ago, but decided to stay friends (that didn't work) h...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

well i think this is it. my a has shown me in every possible way that he does not give two sh**ts about me. im so hurt and hate this feeling. in the past i would wait until tomorrow to see what he has to say. i need to stop this. this is my life to control and i cant keep waiting to see what to do untill i know what he'...

Cyn · Cyn

I heard this song today - hit me really hard!! Gone - By Kelly Clarkson What you see's not what you get With you there's just no measurement no way to tell what's real from what isn't there Your eyes they sparkled That's all changed into lies that dropped like acid rain you washed away the best of me you...

nmike · nmike

I am sitting by the fire going over in my mind my conversation with my A tonight. I was going to prepare myself before he called but he called earlier than expected. I thought I should seek guidance from my HP on what to say and then we wouldn't end up fighting or yelling. At least now I am gaining some awaren...

allison · allison

My A got pulled over 2 nights ago for failure to yield...He`s on probation for domestic,he has no insurance,he was drunk,and had open intoxicants in his truck. Guess what????They let him go!!! If it was me I`d be sent to prison for 20 years!! Sorry just had to vent,thanks for listening Allison &...

kissers · kissers

Hi everyone. I have had my phone turned off, so I could not post the latest book excerpt for all of you. As soon as I am able I will post the excerpts. I previously worked with a manager who touched me inappropriately and then punched me when I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with him. The fear took over an...

Tammy · Tammy

Lots of things have happened since my last post... I will try to summarize and yet keep it short.. My husband and I began counseling. The kids and I moved back home. He has stopped drinking, he goes alone and then we go together. Then a hurricane hit Florida, and we were impacted again.. ( just da...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi Last night it was like Mt Saint Helen errupted here. The pressures of the holidays and the financial problems here have been getting to both the bigger kids and me. My husband was not present, in fact we did not even talk with him yesterday. There was a series of small incidents that set me off then...

John · John

Hello all in Al-Anon, Allot of you in Al-Anon have kids that need help just like all of us in Al-Anon do. Please direct them to the Family Teen Room for the new meetings to begin again on Sunday and Thursday at 8Pm EST. The meetings are designed around the Al-Anon meetings. The meet...

bobump · bobump

some more humor for my alanon friends. We can all use a laugh. It's an oldie but a goodie The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car does...

nycbt · nycbt

My weekend was good. He hasn't drank in a couple of weeks but that doesn't mean he is easy to deal with. Since he doesn't drink he has a very good memory so if I do something wrong he will rember it an throw it back in my face. Which I try not to say anything. He is running out of things to talk about. I have done so...

megan · megan

Enjoy your birthday John, take some time for yourself. And a very special thank-you for having this board, this very special place, where miracles happen every day! In recovery and with gratitude Megan

pixel04 · pixel04

My husband changed jobs two months ago after twelve years at the same company, the only job he ever had. He had two offers to choose from. One paid a little more than the other and the company had been around for close to 20 yrs. The other one was for a start up company that paid a little less and had only bee...

mebjk · mebjk

Is there someone with lots of Program in alanon who can sponsor me as I return to the program after 10 years away? I am looking for someone at a "live" meeting but could use some help over the next few days. And how do we even do that on here??? I'm new to this online stuff! I would like a woman. I am a woman. ...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

allowing the pain i had this VERY important lesson i would like to share.... i have a bad back..muscle spasms..turn the wrong way and i can feel it "tweak" and i am down for days....big knots, and pain its awful well last night i "tweaked" my back AGAIN... in times before, i would curse my karma, cu...

nycbt · nycbt

I have a very hard time saying no. I get upset with my self for not saying no. I am how every getting better at it. For instance someone ask for me to type her paper for school and I said no in a nice way. I told her a good place to go. But if I start typing her paper it would go on for the whole time she had class. I sti...

hopeful · hopeful

I have been recently trying to figure out about my entire life, I have been trying to find reasons as to why my life has been so painful inspite of the fact that i have been blessed in many ways such as being alive ,having a daughter and family and friends who care so much about me. I have experienced pain and...

confused · confused

Well, it has been quite a long time since I posted here. I guess that I, like my A thought I could do it on my own. Well, actually that is not true, I know that I cannot do it on my own, rather, I have just fallen back into my old self of not sharing and thinking things could just go on the way they are. So here I am ba...

Cyn · Cyn

I admit I am helpless - totally helpless. This is crazy to go the last two months of my life feeling this way every single morning. I cant stand waking up sick to my stomach every day anymore - the pain is so intense. I am dying inside my own emotional prison. I sleep because of sleeping...

Feather · Feather

Hi All! I have read in posts here of the "dry drunk" syndrome. Could someone please explain this to me. I have never heard this term before (maybe it's not a term commonly used here in Australia). Thanks for the wonderful shares, I am learning so much!

Take C...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello Roomies, Well last night when I got home from work my "A" was not home. He had been home at some point and then left again. He did not come home last night at all. I really had wanted to go to a f2f, but I couldn't with the children. So I cleaned house, helped my 6 year old with her homework, played with t...

kitty · kitty

Loving is so terrifying, makes everyone run and hide When you can give a genuine love, most of us who are abused can't even tolerate it Foreign it is to be accepted, adored, compassionately understood, empathathically embraced When it is all any of us long for, just to be loved for ours...

pixel04 · pixel04

The holidays are always a challenge, and this year is no different. My father remains in the same fog he has been in since Thanksgiving. My mother has been on a rollercoaster of depression and anger ever since. I always waffle on what to do with the suicide threats from one or the other of them. It s...

LostDux · LostDux

I am seeking advice on how to handle a sister, who has been struggling with alcoholism for several years, at the holidays. Almost 2 years ago, after an intervention, my sister went to rehab and was sober for only a few months following. Things have gotten progressively worse again and now she has falle...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Hello all... Does this sound familiar the not being able to say no? and the difficulty of setting boundaries?? Yes this is what we are afraid of,or at least I am. I have soo much trouble saying no let it be something so little as not wanting to go to the store. I feel guilty every time I say no.w...

david62 · david62

Hi Everyone, I heard this song yesterday, and it just made me feel good, hopeful!

Thought I would share the lyrics with you. Laugh when your eyes are burnimg, Smile when your heart is filled with pain Sigh as you brush away tomorrow, Make a vow, That it's not going t...

Cyn · Cyn

I have been listening to a lot of people lately who give me different views on addicts and ACOAs and I am thankful. I feel like my HP is talking to me through them. Some of the things that people have told me (I'm writing them out because it makes me absorb them better that way): 1. He stopped...

Jane Avril · Jane Avril

I think I have a pretty good understanding of alcoholism. What I'm having trouble understanding is the "sober alcoholic," and I'm not to the point yet where I feel like I can trust my own instincts. My boyfriend is 15 years sober, we've been seeing eachother for about 6 months. We have a...

kitty · kitty

A Prayer at the Beginning of the Day O, Higher Power, allow me to greet the coming day in peace. Help me in all things to rely upon Your holy will, In every hour of the day, reveal Your will to me. Bless my dealings with all who surround me. Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the d...

captcodee · captcodee

I committed to God that I would not run away from my marraige. I promised him that I would follow what I beleive he has guided me to do. I shall ask for strength, guidance, and patience to make it through each progression of the disease. I beleive with all my heart that God has a great...

marie_h · marie_h

I am relatively new to this site. I've been tooling around the message boards and in the chat room the last several days. My husband is an alcoholic. I've never had that much of a problem dealing with it as I've been associated with one alcoholic or another my entire life. (My...

bobump · bobump

Someone shared with me today something along the lines that they felt that compassion was letting someone suffer the natural consequences of their actions, and to not do things for them that they should be doing themselves. I liked that concept. I was curious to see what the dictionaries said. ...

cabecka · cabecka

Due to an increasingly hectic schedule, I am no longer able to co-chair on Wednesday nights with my friend David. I apologize for the inconvenience, but I know that there are many members out there who are eager to provide service to the group. Thanks to one and all! Cara ("Cabecka")

kitty · kitty

I don't think Haxi would mind me sharing this script here as I have it taped to my wall, folded in my prayer book... he allowed/asked me to put it in the ch rm last night, so here it is again: 6 Guidelines for Setting Boundaires 1) Have clearly defined expectations. 2) Clearl...

ditto · ditto

His drinking has escalated and he is getting violent. Is this typical progression of the addiction?

bobump · bobump

To those that reponded to the poem I wrote in the thread (which this post will bump to page 2 , LOL) . I enjoy writing them, whey are part of my ESH. It's nice to have found that outlet again but even better to have people to share them with. And I really appreciate the feedback given on what you get out of t...

sandie123 · sandie123

I have been having a lot of ups and downs. I have had a couple of good days but then the bad days overtake me. On those bad days, I have trouble applying the principles of this program, changing the old tapes to new and getting out of my own head. I become so totally overwhelmed that things become meaningles...

Cyn · Cyn

I've been trying for 20 minutes to get back online - is there something wrong with the chatroom????

bob6502 · bob6502

Group Conscience Meeting December 7, 2005, 7pm EST Chair: SenoraBob Co-Chair: Cabecka Secretary: David62 Agenda Items General Opening of Meeting followed by: Old Business 1.Approval of Minutes - November Business Meeting...

kitty · kitty

Thanks for your feedback guys... it is just so hard, seems like each week or day there is more junk I have to let go of, whether he is using or not, I don't care but knowing he doesn't love my mother & I, won't leave... goes out of town to see his g/f & she left her husband & 3 year old d...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi roomies, I love to laugh, and laughter is very healing for me. A good friend sent this to me, and I really needed it today! As you can tell some numbers are missing, I didn't want to offend anyone, so I deleted some. If anyone wants the full version just let me know and I will PM it to you. Hope this gives e...

Powerless · Powerless

My baby is still home. I haven't let him out of my sight. I'm afraid if I turn around his dad will come and grab him. I did have to stop staring at him though, he said I was giving him the creeps. He is ten and my daughter is eight. Their dad did call me and said he was taking me t...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

I got a private message from a special person today..That person got me thinking...I thought about how all of us have our issues with family,and some of us have it bad,and other have it worse,but we are all here for one reason..because we care about that a...As much as we deny it,and try to shov...

Barbara · Barbara

My older brother had breast cancer 5yrs ago. Recently his calcium bloodwork came back elevated. The doctors checked with thyroid & parathyroid which came back okay. They are doing a bone scan tomorrow. "A" husband had his left kidney removed this past August due to cancer. His ctscans showed...

Kim · Kim

from my A are sad. Last night he called again. He had gone to a meeting and was feeling down about everything he has done. There was a speaker who was discussing his marriages and my A was (again) saying that he doesn't want to be one of "those" men who are on their second or third wives. (he sai...

Powerless · Powerless

Today is one of those days I think I will pack a bag and move into the rooms and never leave. My step-father called me and said that my ex called him and threatened to press charges. Supposedly the school called him today and asked if it was okay for my to pick my son up and he didn't think much of...

nycbt · nycbt

JOHN THANKS SO MUCH FOR PUTTING THIS SITE TOGETHER. IT HAS HELPED ME SO MUCH. I HAVE MEET ALOT OF GOOD PEOPLE THAT HAVE HELP ME SO MUCH.

twinmom2 · twinmom2

My "a" and I finally were able to go out Saturday evening. Of course he wanted to see a band at one of the local pavillon's, I agreed because I'm trying to have more of an open mind about the things that are important to him. The band was great, I really enjoyed the music and being around people...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Hi all, I feel I made a break through this morning with understanding what happens to me physically and emotionally when my "a" and I fight. I used the good old dictionary to differentiate between a discussion and a fight. A fight is described as a battle. I thought about this wor...

toto12 · toto12

Hello friends, I think the founders of Alanon really knew what they were doing. Busy with step 4, I have often wondered why step 1, 2, and 3 were not 10, 11, and 12 because they were the hardest for me. In fact, I am still working on them, but decided I had to move on. Anyway,on Step 4, I real...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	bail out or not? (Preview) A freind in ALAnon called me yesterday. Her husband got arrested for DUI again. He called and betggged her to bail him out and she said no. He said he was having heart flutterings and refused to tell them. She said what if he dies and I did not go bail him out? I was trying not to give advice...but wh...	afglin	7	539	Dec 10, 2005 by afglin
	this is it (Preview) well my a came home after work and grabbed the two bags i had packed last night wouldn't give me his keys and said he'll be back another time to give me money to pay the rent. he said he has to go to the casino with his mom. i hate this feeling so much. he is acting like he just doesnt care and i know he's lying abou...	notsonew1111	5	458	Dec 10, 2005 by abbyal
	Please forgive me if I sound angry, (Preview) Okay, I have to admitt, I am angry. I just don't understand. I have been trying to accept this as a disease. I have been trying to just take care of myself and the kids. I have been trying to be compassionate and stay out of his stuff. Then I talk to a lady at the rehab that tells me that no he does not have to...	Jeannie	9	570	Dec 10, 2005 by Jeannie
	Gratitude (Preview) Dear Friends, I would like to express deep gratitude to the new family that I have found you. Thank you for all the support, it has made the world of difference. Maybe you answered my postings or maybe you read them and sent silent prayers&nb...	bluecrow	3	466	Dec 10, 2005 by leo
	Coming out of Denial (Preview) You all may know from earlier post that I left my husband a month ago. It hasn't always been easy but I don't regret my decision at all. It seems that I am now coming out of a fog. We all talk about the alcoholic's denial but I am also having to deal with my own denial. Looking back I...	JulieLynn	4	509	Dec 10, 2005 by leo
	Input please? (Preview) I have been reading the posts and responding to some but have been so busy and tired. Today makes 25 days my A is clean and sober! He is tired and of course irratable on and off. I am trying to stay focused on me. Of course he isn't going to meetings or counseling he is a "tough guy"...	marmare	4	513	Dec 9, 2005 by lin0606
	another problem... can you help? (Preview) hi guys, i was trying to figure out for the most part of today..what or how do you separate the addiction from the person? my ex makes sooo many promises and is all plans about the future but for some reason i cant distinguish what is fact and what is fiction! i want to believe him when he says he wants a bet...	Rebecca	4	640	Dec 9, 2005 by Powerless
	asking for help is NOT asking for rescue (Preview) *FRIDAY , DECEMBER 09, 2005 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go </OA_HTML/ibeCCtpItmDspRte.jsp?item=1271>.* Asking for Help** It's okay to ask for help.One of the most absurd things we do to ourselves is not asking for the help we need from a friend, a family member,...	rosie light shines	4	433	Dec 9, 2005 by megan
	esh please (Preview) hi everyone im asking anyone to respond if they want to about their stories about leaving the a in their life and how they are better for it. i need to hear the hope that if i choose to ask him to leave i will know im doing what's right. i want to hear what i do have to look forward to. because i know if i stay there...	notsonew1111	8	1102	Dec 9, 2005 by megan
	Doormat syndrome (Preview) I have a picture of a narcissus flower hanging in my apartment. It has been there since I moved into my own apartment in July after leaving my alcoholic husband of 14 years in May. It is there to remind me that I live here, apart from my emotionally abusive A to take care of myself. I hit my bottom. I...	megan	12	662	Dec 9, 2005 by megan
	Ending relationships (Preview) This is really hard. I've been back and forth with my A for over two years now. The issues run deeper than this disease for me...intimacy and communication were a problem from the start. We broke up (for the upteenth time) about a week ago, but decided to stay friends (that didn't work) h...	Faith73	5	699	Dec 9, 2005 by Rebecca
	i am soooo done (Preview) well i think this is it. my a has shown me in every possible way that he does not give two sh**ts about me. im so hurt and hate this feeling. in the past i would wait until tomorrow to see what he has to say. i need to stop this. this is my life to control and i cant keep waiting to see what to do untill i know what he'...	notsonew1111	7	775	Dec 9, 2005 by Rebecca
	Song I heard tonight - hit home... (Preview) I heard this song today - hit me really hard!! Gone - By Kelly Clarkson What you see's not what you get With you there's just no measurement no way to tell what's real from what isn't there Your eyes they sparkled That's all changed into lies that dropped like acid rain you washed away the best of me you...	Cyn	3	544	Dec 9, 2005 by Rebecca
	Awareness (Preview) I am sitting by the fire going over in my mind my conversation with my A tonight. I was going to prepare myself before he called but he called earlier than expected. I thought I should seek guidance from my HP on what to say and then we wouldn't end up fighting or yelling. At least now I am gaining some awaren...	nmike	3	405	Dec 9, 2005 by kitty
	I`m so mad (Preview) My A got pulled over 2 nights ago for failure to yield...He`s on probation for domestic,he has no insurance,he was drunk,and had open intoxicants in his truck. Guess what????They let him go!!! If it was me I`d be sent to prison for 20 years!! Sorry just had to vent,thanks for listening Allison &...	allison	6	517	Dec 9, 2005 by hudsond
	Alanon Book Excerpt & Apology (Preview) Hi everyone. I have had my phone turned off, so I could not post the latest book excerpt for all of you. As soon as I am able I will post the excerpts. I previously worked with a manager who touched me inappropriately and then punched me when I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with him. The fear took over an...	kissers	4	804	Dec 9, 2005 by twinmom2
	Catching UP... (Preview) Lots of things have happened since my last post... I will try to summarize and yet keep it short.. My husband and I began counseling. The kids and I moved back home. He has stopped drinking, he goes alone and then we go together. Then a hurricane hit Florida, and we were impacted again.. ( just da...	Tammy	8	472	Dec 9, 2005 by confused
	Time bomb (Preview) Hi Last night it was like Mt Saint Helen errupted here. The pressures of the holidays and the financial problems here have been getting to both the bigger kids and me. My husband was not present, in fact we did not even talk with him yesterday. There was a series of small incidents that set me off then...	Jeannie	11	580	Dec 9, 2005 by leo
	Family Teen Meetings starting again (Preview) Hello all in Al-Anon, Allot of you in Al-Anon have kids that need help just like all of us in Al-Anon do. Please direct them to the Family Teen Room for the new meetings to begin again on Sunday and Thursday at 8Pm EST. The meetings are designed around the Al-Anon meetings. The meet...	John	3	477	Dec 8, 2005 by John
	Speeding ticket..... (Preview) some more humor for my alanon friends. We can all use a laugh. It's an oldie but a goodie The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car does...	bobump	6	433	Dec 8, 2005 by allison
	Waiting for a change (Preview) My weekend was good. He hasn't drank in a couple of weeks but that doesn't mean he is easy to deal with. Since he doesn't drink he has a very good memory so if I do something wrong he will rember it an throw it back in my face. Which I try not to say anything. He is running out of things to talk about. I have done so...	nycbt	3	460	Dec 8, 2005 by nmike
	Happy Birthday John!!!!! (Preview) Enjoy your birthday John, take some time for yourself. And a very special thank-you for having this board, this very special place, where miracles happen every day! In recovery and with gratitude Megan	megan	14	706	Dec 8, 2005 by John
	HP in action (Preview) My husband changed jobs two months ago after twelve years at the same company, the only job he ever had. He had two offers to choose from. One paid a little more than the other and the company had been around for close to 20 yrs. The other one was for a start up company that paid a little less and had only bee...	pixel04	1	599	Dec 8, 2005 by nmike
	I need a sponsor - at least temporarily (Preview) Is there someone with lots of Program in alanon who can sponsor me as I return to the program after 10 years away? I am looking for someone at a "live" meeting but could use some help over the next few days. And how do we even do that on here??? I'm new to this online stuff! I would like a woman. I am a woman. ...	mebjk	2	502	Dec 8, 2005 by mebjk
	its hard, but i will ALLOW my pain (Preview) allowing the pain i had this VERY important lesson i would like to share.... i have a bad back..muscle spasms..turn the wrong way and i can feel it "tweak" and i am down for days....big knots, and pain its awful well last night i "tweaked" my back AGAIN... in times before, i would curse my karma, cu...	rosie light shines	5	606	Dec 8, 2005 by rosie light shines
	about me (Preview) I have a very hard time saying no. I get upset with my self for not saying no. I am how every getting better at it. For instance someone ask for me to type her paper for school and I said no in a nice way. I told her a good place to go. But if I start typing her paper it would go on for the whole time she had class. I sti...	nycbt	5	463	Dec 8, 2005 by kitty
	I feel powerless over my life and others too (Preview) I have been recently trying to figure out about my entire life, I have been trying to find reasons as to why my life has been so painful inspite of the fact that i have been blessed in many ways such as being alive ,having a daughter and family and friends who care so much about me. I have experienced pain and...	hopeful	2	699	Dec 8, 2005 by captcodee
	trying to come back (Preview) Well, it has been quite a long time since I posted here. I guess that I, like my A thought I could do it on my own. Well, actually that is not true, I know that I cannot do it on my own, rather, I have just fallen back into my old self of not sharing and thinking things could just go on the way they are. So here I am ba...	confused	6	726	Dec 8, 2005 by Flora123
	Emotionally trapped (Preview) I admit I am helpless - totally helpless. This is crazy to go the last two months of my life feeling this way every single morning. I cant stand waking up sick to my stomach every day anymore - the pain is so intense. I am dying inside my own emotional prison. I sleep because of sleeping...	Cyn	8	753	Dec 8, 2005 by Feather
	A question.... (Preview) Hi All! I have read in posts here of the "dry drunk" syndrome. Could someone please explain this to me. I have never heard this term before (maybe it's not a term commonly used here in Australia). Thanks for the wonderful shares, I am learning so much! Take C...	Feather	6	453	Dec 8, 2005 by Feather
	Saying the words I never wanted to say (Preview) Hello Roomies, Well last night when I got home from work my "A" was not home. He had been home at some point and then left again. He did not come home last night at all. I really had wanted to go to a f2f, but I couldn't with the children. So I cleaned house, helped my 6 year old with her homework, played with t...	Dolphin123	6	591	Dec 8, 2005 by tea2
	Pure Love (I wrote a poem!) (Preview) Loving is so terrifying, makes everyone run and hide When you can give a genuine love, most of us who are abused can't even tolerate it Foreign it is to be accepted, adored, compassionately understood, empathathically embraced When it is all any of us long for, just to be loved for ours...	kitty	3	704	Dec 8, 2005 by rosie light shines
	nothing to say to her (Preview) The holidays are always a challenge, and this year is no different. My father remains in the same fog he has been in since Thanksgiving. My mother has been on a rollercoaster of depression and anger ever since. I always waffle on what to do with the suicide threats from one or the other of them. It s...	pixel04	3	738	Dec 8, 2005 by rosie light shines
	What to say at Holiday Time (Preview) I am seeking advice on how to handle a sister, who has been struggling with alcoholism for several years, at the holidays. Almost 2 years ago, after an intervention, my sister went to rehab and was sober for only a few months following. Things have gotten progressively worse again and now she has falle...	LostDux	6	883	Dec 8, 2005 by ODAT
	Setting Boundaries..and having a difficult time saying no (Preview) Hello all... Does this sound familiar the not being able to say no? and the difficulty of setting boundaries?? Yes this is what we are afraid of,or at least I am. I have soo much trouble saying no let it be something so little as not wanting to go to the store. I feel guilty every time I say no.w...	Lauren ashley	7	483	Dec 8, 2005 by nycbt
	Too Much Rain - Song Lyrics (Preview) Hi Everyone, I heard this song yesterday, and it just made me feel good, hopeful! Thought I would share the lyrics with you. Laugh when your eyes are burnimg, Smile when your heart is filled with pain Sigh as you brush away tomorrow, Make a vow, That it's not going t...	david62	2	561	Dec 8, 2005 by nycbt
	Listening (Preview) I have been listening to a lot of people lately who give me different views on addicts and ACOAs and I am thankful. I feel like my HP is talking to me through them. Some of the things that people have told me (I'm writing them out because it makes me absorb them better that way): 1. He stopped...	Cyn	4	657	Dec 8, 2005 by sandie123
	Understanding Alcoholism (some adult content) (Preview) I think I have a pretty good understanding of alcoholism. What I'm having trouble understanding is the "sober alcoholic," and I'm not to the point yet where I feel like I can trust my own instincts. My boyfriend is 15 years sober, we've been seeing eachother for about 6 months. We have a...	Jane Avril	14	841	Dec 8, 2005 by Jane Avril
	I read this every morning (Preview) A Prayer at the Beginning of the Day O, Higher Power, allow me to greet the coming day in peace. Help me in all things to rely upon Your holy will, In every hour of the day, reveal Your will to me. Bless my dealings with all who surround me. Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the d...	kitty	4	413	Dec 8, 2005 by Jane Avril
	I must remember Alcoholism is progressive.... (Preview) I committed to God that I would not run away from my marraige. I promised him that I would follow what I beleive he has guided me to do. I shall ask for strength, guidance, and patience to make it through each progression of the disease. I beleive with all my heart that God has a great...	captcodee	6	582	Dec 8, 2005 by Lanee
	Should I take him back? (Preview) I am relatively new to this site. I've been tooling around the message boards and in the chat room the last several days. My husband is an alcoholic. I've never had that much of a problem dealing with it as I've been associated with one alcoholic or another my entire life. (My...	marie_h	8	490	Dec 7, 2005 by seashell
	What is compassion...... (Preview) Someone shared with me today something along the lines that they felt that compassion was letting someone suffer the natural consequences of their actions, and to not do things for them that they should be doing themselves. I liked that concept. I was curious to see what the dictionaries said. ...	bobump	4	3050	Dec 7, 2005 by bobump
	Need Alt Chair on Wednesdays (Preview) Due to an increasingly hectic schedule, I am no longer able to co-chair on Wednesday nights with my friend David. I apologize for the inconvenience, but I know that there are many members out there who are eager to provide service to the group. Thanks to one and all! Cara ("Cabecka")	cabecka	1	481	Dec 7, 2005 by Jane Avril
	Setting Boundaries (the Haxi script) (Preview) I don't think Haxi would mind me sharing this script here as I have it taped to my wall, folded in my prayer book... he allowed/asked me to put it in the ch rm last night, so here it is again: 6 Guidelines for Setting Boundaires 1) Have clearly defined expectations. 2) Clearl...	kitty	1	560	Dec 7, 2005 by bobump
	He's getting violent now (Preview) His drinking has escalated and he is getting violent. Is this typical progression of the addiction?	ditto	13	701	Dec 7, 2005 by Flora123
	Just a quick thanks.... (Preview) To those that reponded to the poem I wrote in the thread (which this post will bump to page 2 , LOL) . I enjoy writing them, whey are part of my ESH. It's nice to have found that outlet again but even better to have people to share them with. And I really appreciate the feedback given on what you get out of t...	bobump	4	416	Dec 7, 2005 by tea2
	I could use some ESH (Preview) I have been having a lot of ups and downs. I have had a couple of good days but then the bad days overtake me. On those bad days, I have trouble applying the principles of this program, changing the old tapes to new and getting out of my own head. I become so totally overwhelmed that things become meaningles...	sandie123	8	681	Dec 7, 2005 by Tiger2006
	Something wrong with chatroom?? (Preview) I've been trying for 20 minutes to get back online - is there something wrong with the chatroom????	Cyn	2	576	Dec 7, 2005 by nycbt
	Group Conscience Meeting (Preview) Group Conscience Meeting December 7, 2005, 7pm EST Chair: SenoraBob Co-Chair: Cabecka Secretary: David62 Agenda Items General Opening of Meeting followed by: Old Business 1.Approval of Minutes - November Business Meeting...	bob6502	1	497	Dec 7, 2005 by kismetstrand
	winning @ losing, thanks (Preview) Thanks for your feedback guys... it is just so hard, seems like each week or day there is more junk I have to let go of, whether he is using or not, I don't care but knowing he doesn't love my mother & I, won't leave... goes out of town to see his g/f & she left her husband & 3 year old d...	kitty	4	451	Dec 7, 2005 by just me
	Laughter to lift my mood (Preview) Hi roomies, I love to laugh, and laughter is very healing for me. A good friend sent this to me, and I really needed it today! As you can tell some numbers are missing, I didn't want to offend anyone, so I deleted some. If anyone wants the full version just let me know and I will PM it to you. Hope this gives e...	Dolphin123	1	575	Dec 7, 2005 by captcodee
	My baby is still home!! (Preview) My baby is still home. I haven't let him out of my sight. I'm afraid if I turn around his dad will come and grab him. I did have to stop staring at him though, he said I was giving him the creeps. He is ten and my daughter is eight. Their dad did call me and said he was taking me t...	Powerless	3	766	Dec 7, 2005 by captcodee
	Taking time to appreciate how far we have come... (Preview) I got a private message from a special person today..That person got me thinking...I thought about how all of us have our issues with family,and some of us have it bad,and other have it worse,but we are all here for one reason..because we care about that a...As much as we deny it,and try to shov...	Lauren ashley	4	408	Dec 7, 2005 by just me
	Im scared, in tears - cancer sucks! (Preview) My older brother had breast cancer 5yrs ago. Recently his calcium bloodwork came back elevated. The doctors checked with thyroid & parathyroid which came back okay. They are doing a bone scan tomorrow. "A" husband had his left kidney removed this past August due to cancer. His ctscans showed...	Barbara	6	752	Dec 7, 2005 by Christy
	the continual calls (Preview) from my A are sad. Last night he called again. He had gone to a meeting and was feeling down about everything he has done. There was a speaker who was discussing his marriages and my A was (again) saying that he doesn't want to be one of "those" men who are on their second or third wives. (he sai...	Kim	4	707	Dec 7, 2005 by captcodee
	Now I'm angry and frustrated (Preview) Today is one of those days I think I will pack a bag and move into the rooms and never leave. My step-father called me and said that my ex called him and threatened to press charges. Supposedly the school called him today and asked if it was okay for my to pick my son up and he didn't think much of...	Powerless	3	680	Dec 7, 2005 by captcodee
	JOHN THANKS (Preview) JOHN THANKS SO MUCH FOR PUTTING THIS SITE TOGETHER. IT HAS HELPED ME SO MUCH. I HAVE MEET ALOT OF GOOD PEOPLE THAT HAVE HELP ME SO MUCH.	nycbt	2	428	Dec 7, 2005 by John
	Let the drinking roll off my back (Preview) My "a" and I finally were able to go out Saturday evening. Of course he wanted to see a band at one of the local pavillon's, I agreed because I'm trying to have more of an open mind about the things that are important to him. The band was great, I really enjoyed the music and being around people...	twinmom2	2	404	Dec 7, 2005 by kismetstrand
	Digging underneath my anger (Preview) Hi all, I feel I made a break through this morning with understanding what happens to me physically and emotionally when my "a" and I fight. I used the good old dictionary to differentiate between a discussion and a fight. A fight is described as a battle. I thought about this wor...	twinmom2	2	755	Dec 7, 2005 by lildee
	Does H in HP also stand for harmony? (Preview) Hello friends, I think the founders of Alanon really knew what they were doing. Busy with step 4, I have often wondered why step 1, 2, and 3 were not 10, 11, and 12 because they were the hardest for me. In fact, I am still working on them, but decided I had to move on. Anyway,on Step 4, I real...	toto12	1	416	Dec 7, 2005 by jrtjosey
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.