Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

serenity · serenity

Hi... this is my first post here, but have attended several online meetings. Thought some of you might be able to give insight or direction... My dilemma is this... My A has been sober for 8 months, goes to AA meetings, meets with a therapist, as do I. We've been married for 6 yrs, and its been rough. I...

swolves · swolves

At 2:30 Sunday the phones and cable tv came back on....thankyou HP..my kids were about to drive me over the edge....lol. There was no damage to to my house and a quick rake of the yard was all that I needed to do. Power outages are spotty in the city with heavily wooded neighbor hoods catchin...

Powerless · Powerless

I must have posted "Are they really having fun "out there" before I was fully awake. I really was not asking a question. I was trying to get others to see that the addicts and alcoholics are NOT having fun. I apologize if my post was not clear.

sandy · sandy

Hi, This is the first time posting for me, I don't even know if I'm doing it right. I'll go ahead with my story anyway and hope I can get some suggestions from other members. My daughter started drinking a year or so ago she is now a fully addicted to vodka. I didn't know there was a problem but it s...

Powerless · Powerless

I am going so far backwards that I truly do not recognize the person I have become. I have stolen from my job and was fired this week. My son's therapist said that although he is mentally ill, he is much worse due to my decision making. I am estranged from my entire family at this point. ...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Peace with the Past Even God cannot change the past. --Agathon Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy - energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi family, I hope you're not sick of these simple thoughts. But I find they have really helped me over the years. So here's another one for all of you. "Adversity often activates a Strength we did not know we had!" We are all so much stronger than we know. Sometimes it takes a kick in th...

sg · sg

I just wanted to share something that my sponsor did for me.... At christmas we always exchange gifts. Last christmas she blew me out of the water w/her gift. I got an italian charm bracelet w/the word COURAGE written on it. She told me that for the 9 yrs that she has sponsored me and knowin...

Diva · Diva

I spent a good part of the evening speaking pn the phone with my younger son in Seattle who is celebrating a birthday tomorrow. Upon ending the conversation I came into the den where my A was asleep in his easy chair. I tried to wake him. Not easy to do. When I finally did, he staggered off to bed. I could see i...

sg · sg

My meeting this morning is on the topic of "Living in the Present" and last night I was reading/journaling and this page came up: (Hope For Today, p.317) Serenity? What's that? For years I was like a weather van that spun around according to the air currents that other people generat...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I hate to ask for further financial assistance...I'm in real need of a $66 transit pass and $55 for storage, both due before Oct. 1. Any help will be appreciated more than you know!!!! The big news is that my mother's alcoholism has finally come out...so I may have both parents dead fr...

sandy · sandy

Hi, I just want to thank all of you who responded. They actually made me cry but I needed that too. I just want to find a way to help her, she's my baby, she's 30 years old and so much to look forward to. I don't understand, I did everything I could the reason I stayed with her was to be the...

lonestar · lonestar

My therapist told me last night in an individual session that if I were more "whole" as a person (not co-dependent, had worked through my family of origin issues etc..) that my wife might not have gotten drunk last Saturday night and we might not have had the two day, very ugly, marital spat that we did. ...

UncleLou · UncleLou

Looks like my house is sold. Accepted an offer today after 6 months on the market and numerous price reductions. I have really mixed feelings about it, I designed and built it 3 years ago thinking I would live here forever. We make plans, God laughs! Need to look at it strictly as a business deal now, ma...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

It's Saturday morning and swolves' Mom just called me to let us know she and the kids are fine. No phone, but, ok. !! Thank you HP!! josey

cytagirl · cytagirl

Hello Again , Thanks to everyone who replied to my first post , your help and advice was greatly appreciated , especially Tom . I'm off to my first meet on Monday in Limassol ... a 30 minute drive away but the way i'm feeling i'd drive for 3 hours to hear someone tell me i'm not on my own and can recover from all...

Jersey · Jersey

I'm feeling so stupid right now. My A told me two weeks ago he wanted to get sober. He didn't drink all week. Then I went away last weekend to a Women's Spirituality Retreat for women in sobriety, I trusted him (I had to). When I got home I told him how proud I was of him, ect. Then tonight he as...

sandie123 · sandie123

I had a semi discussion a week ago with my A about the fact that we (me and his kids) were very concerned about him. I told him that we would like to help him when he is ready… however we all know we cannot help him until he is ready. I mentioned that I would be doing a few things differently…. No more waking hi...

Powerless · Powerless

I have been doing a lot of thinking this week. A couple of weeks ago, things were so hard financially and I had exhausted all resources of family and friends. There simply wasn't anyone else I could turn to. I worked in a position of management with developmentally delayed adults....

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, My dad may get out of the hospital tomorrow if his blood thinning level is adequate :) Mom and I are much more relaxed now too. He is not suppose to drive for awhile so I will probably stay here another week. I did talk to my daughter 2 nights ago and she opened up to me about alot of her feelin...

kiki · kiki

Hi Everyone I havn´t posted for a long time but i thought it would be good to post something good. My recovering A has been clean now for 1 year, not one drop of alcohol has passed his lips. I am so proud of him and of myself for getting through this last year. It hasn´t been easy, living with him whilst...

Lani · Lani

Seek the inner cause of problems "When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?" -- Robert Half What holds you back from being and doing more? In your journal, list what you believe is holding you back. Have you blamed people or factors outside of yourself? It's important to unders...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello All, Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false? 1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. 3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi Everyone, I hope you are all well. I was working 7 days a week this summer, plus taking care of the kids, so I had no free time at all. Now that school has started and the first few hectic weeks are over, I hope things will be settling down. They say our HP puts us in places for reasons. This summer the...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

In previous post I talked about leaving my husband about 7 weeks ago. I have since gone home to empty promises of him doing better. I have been home for almost a week now and I am already ready to leave again. I know if nothing changes, nothing changes. I don't know what to do.&n...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Having such a hard time dealing with a situation with 19 year old son. He has made a decision which I can't agree with (joining army)...but as I know, I am powerless over this. The only thing I can change is ME. Looking back at step 3, it asks "What can I do when my loved ones make decisio...

gknee · gknee

Tell me what you all do in this situation. My H has been the model of good behavior for the past month. No drugs, no binge drinking. Attending counseling (with and without me) i just don't believe that it will continue--and I don't know what to do with myself because of it. I need to stop waiting f...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

this is a great message....the language of letting go must have been thinking of me...cause my **tolerence* is being tested with me!!!! Tolerance Practice tolerance. Tolerate our quirks, our feelings, our reactions, our peculiarities, and our humanness. Tolerate our...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - September 23 I suffered from the compulsive need for perfection that I developed while growing up with an alcoholic mother. I found that trying to be perfect was the best defense against her anger. There was no way of knowing what would upset my mother nex...

Kim · Kim

Hello roomies.... so, here I am at work. The phone rings and it is my A. His uncle (also an A who is active) got drunk last night and they had words and he threw my A out. Now he has nowhere to live. Wants to sit down and "talk" b/c he can't continue paying the house bills if he needs to get...

UncleLou · UncleLou

A couple of days ago, RichardA wrote this in a reply to a post by raincaster. It caught my eye because I think I felt this way before recovery. He rights: "...SOME ALCOHOLICS WILL SEE THE LIGHT AND WITH PROPER GUIDANCE WILL HEAL THEMSELVES. I AM NOT A TRUE BELIEVER IN THE DISEASE THEORY BUT I DO BELIEVE T...

sg · sg

I have been really trying to let go of some feelings here in our home...mostly frustration, disappointment, fear and what not. It seems to be so difficult for me at times though. Communication is pretty strained in our home (not that it ever was our strongpoint) and after our blowout last week I wa...

Karilynn · Karilynn

To all of you dear friends who are in the path of the Rita, or will be affected by it. I pray for your safety as well as those of your loved ones. Be safe, and if you can keep in touch with us. You will be in our prayers.

Live strong, Karilynn

debilyn · debilyn

Well I guess if someone believes this is a healthy way to deal with a disease, then they do. Hi dear sis of alanon, no worries. I can see if someone would misunderstand!! Not like we are able to see each others purdy faces!! Ok this first line was meant if ANYONE believes this is healthy then the...

debilyn · debilyn

Debilyn I did not say anywhere in my post that I thought my way was "healthy". But then nor do I think I am evil, nor do I think anything I do is evil. Lighten up. My way might not be your way, but so be it. I didn't bother to read the rest of your post. People with closed minds do nothing for me. Diva If my post...

unhappyannie · unhappyannie

My life seems to be totally turned upside down and I'm not sure who to turn to right now. I'm trying to make some decisions about whether to stay in my marriage or walk away from it to see if it will make him decide to do something about his problem. We have been married for almost 7 years. Have a 6 year old da...

David BD · David BD

this is my first post. I'm new -- have been to Al-Anon face meetings a few times before about 10 years ago, some more about four years ago. I have read many of your posts. My "A" is my sister, who for many years was my inspiration, helped raise me, was my hero; but she has been a homeless (much of the time) meth...

search41 · search41

hi everyone! thank you for your replies to my last posts...one of them a pity party! but the next day, after my pity party about staying up late to unwind and all that, i got up the next day and got to it, and have been doing good ever since, as far as not wasting my days away, even IF i stayed up late th...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello Room, Found another funny to share! A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The short story had to contain the following three things: (1) Religion (2) Sexuality (3)&n...

Diva · Diva

I haven't been around in a day or two, so I must catch up on the latest posts and comment if I feel it necessary. As most of you know, my A, after 25 years sober, has a slide every now and then, and he was drinking for several days last week. I have a completely different way of handling him...and me...tha...

bcanuck · bcanuck

I know not to ask for advice, so I'm asking for opinions. I posted last week about my 18 year old son going drinking for the first time (a co-worker who thinks my son HAS to drink). I didn't try to stop my son, I simply told him I thought it was a bad idea, but he's a big boy and has to make up his own mind, wh...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello All, I got a funny at work and I wanted to share it with ya. If you haven't noticed by this point, I like to laugh, and I like to share my laughter with others. GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When...

Jill · Jill

hi Roygbiv it's so nice to see you again. What a wonderful reply you sent to the new guy. It's good to have you back. -- Jill

raincaster · raincaster

Here's the deal- I have two young kids (grade school) and am considering a very serious relationship with an A. I understand that my kids will not be able to inherit the addiction, but I am left concerned about what might happen to them being in such an environment. What sort of danger signs (in...

shadow1 · shadow1

My family has had a huge blow this week. My husbands (my A) youngest brother died in a motorcycle crash at the age of 28. It has hit us both very hard. I would assume that with a huge blow like this an A would hit the bottle very hard but he hasn't at all. I think he has had 1 drink. Was i too qu...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

hey ya'll i just had to share this with you...this is my **other* even more important birthday!!!! today, last year, was my court date to get my name changed from my incestor father to a clean one!!! it was on this day last year, i began my road to recovery in fu...

cytagirl · cytagirl

Hello , After moving to Cyprus fourteen years ago , marrying a local and having two children only to discover that he was a repetitive adulterer, seperated after six yrs of marriage . i spent the following four yrs on my own , bringing up my children and working hard (no such thing as child s...

gardengal · gardengal

I was convinced that I had to take care of everything and everyone----I had no choice. But with the help of alanon, I have learned that, while I do have responsibilities, there are also many things I do not have to do: I dont have to understand everything. Somethigns are not my business, and others wil...

Belongtome · Belongtome

I'm out traveling for awhile (with my A) and don't get online too often. Just wanted you to know that I'm okay...not working my program as hard as I should, but still okay for now. Sorry I haven't been there for you folks...you are in my heart, and I wonder how everyone is doing that I haven't hear...

Kim · Kim

Hello roomies: Well today is my anniversary....three years married to my A. He has been calling incessantly for the past 6 days to get me to see him for dinner this evening. As you can see I did decline. He called again this morning....to say Happy Anniversary. I said nothing in return....

Tammy · Tammy

Well, it is day 3 and I have what i think is a good update. My husband called and he is going to a counselor tomorrow. THAT IS HUGE.. He was ALWAYS against this and insisted he didnt need a shrink .. Not him BiG strong MAN... You are probably wondering what I said.. Well, I said that is a start a step in the rig...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] it's been a looooong, expensive day... i had vocational rehab interview at 0900 my time (pacific). it was nearly two hours long and the questions about my trauma were even more specific than in the social security interview. it brought back a LOT of bad stuff. The case...

Christy · Christy

Hi friends.. Our friend Kountrygirl will be having brain surgery tomorrow (20th) to hopefully remove an aneurism. How scary that must be. Please remeber her in your prayers and ask that HP be with her and see her through to recovery. Thanks Christy

cdb · cdb

I would like to apologize and make amends to anyone I may have hurt recently by posting something innapropriate. It was not my intention and my heart breaks to think I may have hurt someone's feelings or broken a guideline. I am so very sorry. Doing something like this was the furthest from my mind or hea...

UncleLou · UncleLou

Need to vent some stuff. Went back to a counselor my ex and I had seen over a year ago (what a difference a year makes in early recovery.) I thinks he sees now that there was nothing I could do last year to save the marriage. Nothing I did was ever good enough or it was too little too late. I went to get some gui...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - September 21 Sometimes as I struggle with the effects having grown up with the disease of alcoholism, the path seems too difficult to travel. I forget that there are ups and downs to any journey, and I feel overcome with disappointment with my seemingly slo...

lonestar · lonestar

This is my first post, however, I've been visiting the site regularly as a guest for the last two months. I've been hoping to find someone with a similar situation, but I have not. Many of the posts that I read describe A's that have very serious problems. I feel for so many of you as so...

sandie123 · sandie123

Well I wish I knew what was going on anymore. I feel so sick and miserable when I am home. My stomach hurts and I get totally depressed. When I am out of the house I am sometimes able to pull myself out of this by using the tools I have been learning in Alanon. I am SO confused as to what I need to do. My gut tel...

sandie123 · sandie123

We'll i made it though the night and here I am today. I am thinking that my HP must be yelling at me by the way I feel. I still feel terrible but have talked to a bunch of poeple, both here and elsewhere. I keep coming up with the notion that my internal pain will go way once I deal with the problem. The problem be...

sg · sg

I went over to the AA db and found this thread...WOW...It spoke volumes to me and I wanted to bring this wonderful post over here (I hope it is okay) Patience is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. Let go of your need fo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Help Please...My dilemma (Preview) Hi... this is my first post here, but have attended several online meetings. Thought some of you might be able to give insight or direction... My dilemma is this... My A has been sober for 8 months, goes to AA meetings, meets with a therapist, as do I. We've been married for 6 yrs, and its been rough. I...	serenity	3	746	Sep 26, 2005 by Powerless
	thankyou all (Preview) At 2:30 Sunday the phones and cable tv came back on....thankyou HP..my kids were about to drive me over the edge....lol. There was no damage to to my house and a quick rake of the yard was all that I needed to do. Power outages are spotty in the city with heavily wooded neighbor hoods catchin...	swolves	1	587	Sep 25, 2005 by DanaAngel
	I wasn't asking a question (Preview) I must have posted "Are they really having fun "out there" before I was fully awake. I really was not asking a question. I was trying to get others to see that the addicts and alcoholics are NOT having fun. I apologize if my post was not clear.	Powerless	1	695	Sep 25, 2005 by Karilynn
	What else can I do about my daughter? (Preview) Hi, This is the first time posting for me, I don't even know if I'm doing it right. I'll go ahead with my story anyway and hope I can get some suggestions from other members. My daughter started drinking a year or so ago she is now a fully addicted to vodka. I didn't know there was a problem but it s...	sandy	5	866	Sep 25, 2005 by kismetstrand
	I am going so far backwards (Preview) I am going so far backwards that I truly do not recognize the person I have become. I have stolen from my job and was fired this week. My son's therapist said that although he is mentally ill, he is much worse due to my decision making. I am estranged from my entire family at this point. ...	Powerless	6	706	Sep 25, 2005 by Karilynn
	making peace with the past (Preview) You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Peace with the Past Even God cannot change the past. --Agathon Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy - energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow...	rosie light shines	1	815	Sep 25, 2005 by Karilynn
	Yet another simple thought (Preview) Hi family, I hope you're not sick of these simple thoughts. But I find they have really helped me over the years. So here's another one for all of you. "Adversity often activates a Strength we did not know we had!" We are all so much stronger than we know. Sometimes it takes a kick in th...	Karilynn	1	591	Sep 25, 2005 by sg
	A gift from my sponsor (Preview) I just wanted to share something that my sponsor did for me.... At christmas we always exchange gifts. Last christmas she blew me out of the water w/her gift. I got an italian charm bracelet w/the word COURAGE written on it. She told me that for the 9 yrs that she has sponsored me and knowin...	sg	3	635	Sep 25, 2005 by Karilynn
	I think he is drinking again. (Preview) I spent a good part of the evening speaking pn the phone with my younger son in Seattle who is celebrating a birthday tomorrow. Upon ending the conversation I came into the den where my A was asleep in his easy chair. I tried to wake him. Not easy to do. When I finally did, he staggered off to bed. I could see i...	Diva	12	917	Sep 25, 2005 by ctymom
	Living in the Present (Preview) My meeting this morning is on the topic of "Living in the Present" and last night I was reading/journaling and this page came up: (Hope For Today, p.317) Serenity? What's that? For years I was like a weather van that spun around according to the air currents that other people generat...	sg	2	1131	Sep 25, 2005 by sg
	haxigonian XXVIII (Preview) [[ room ]] *I hate to ask for further financial assistance...I'm in real need of a $66 transit pass and $55 for storage, both due before Oct. 1. Any help will be appreciated more than you know!!!!* *The big news is that my mother's alcoholism has finally come out...so I may have both parents dead fr...*	haximon	2	770	Sep 25, 2005 by debilyn
	Thank you all but!!! (Preview) Hi, I just want to thank all of you who responded. They actually made me cry but I needed that too. I just want to find a way to help her, she's my baby, she's 30 years old and so much to look forward to. I don't understand, I did everything I could the reason I stayed with her was to be the...	sandy	1	658	Sep 24, 2005 by Powerless
	New guy again - my therapist... (Preview) My therapist told me last night in an individual session that if I were more "whole" as a person (not co-dependent, had worked through my family of origin issues etc..) that my wife might not have gotten drunk last Saturday night and we might not have had the two day, very ugly, marital spat that we did. ...	lonestar	6	762	Sep 24, 2005 by tiredtonite
	It gets more and more bazaar (Preview) Looks like my house is sold. Accepted an offer today after 6 months on the market and numerous price reductions. I have really mixed feelings about it, I designed and built it 3 years ago thinking I would live here forever. We make plans, God laughs! Need to look at it strictly as a business deal now, ma...	UncleLou	14	857	Sep 24, 2005 by UncleLou
	swolves is ok (Preview) It's Saturday morning and swolves' Mom just called me to let us know she and the kids are fine. No phone, but, ok. !! Thank you HP!! josey	jrtjosey	5	649	Sep 24, 2005 by Christy
	Eyes Wide Open ! (Preview) Hello Again , Thanks to everyone who replied to my first post , your help and advice was greatly appreciated , especially Tom . I'm off to my first meet on Monday in Limassol ... a 30 minute drive away but the way i'm feeling i'd drive for 3 hours to hear someone tell me i'm not on my own and can recover from all...	cytagirl	4	657	Sep 24, 2005 by canadianguy
	never ends (Preview) I'm feeling so stupid right now. My A told me two weeks ago he wanted to get sober. He didn't drink all week. Then I went away last weekend to a Women's Spirituality Retreat for women in sobriety, I trusted him (I had to). When I got home I told him how proud I was of him, ect. Then tonight he as...	Jersey	6	656	Sep 24, 2005 by canadianguy
	Boundaries & Detachment (Preview) I had a semi discussion a week ago with my A about the fact that we (me and his kids) were very concerned about him. I told him that we would like to help him when he is ready… however we all know we cannot help him until he is ready. I mentioned that I would be doing a few things differently…. No more waking hi...	sandie123	4	863	Sep 24, 2005 by canadianguy
	My actions are worse than the addict's (Preview) I have been doing a lot of thinking this week. A couple of weeks ago, things were so hard financially and I had exhausted all resources of family and friends. There simply wasn't anyone else I could turn to. I worked in a position of management with developmentally delayed adults....	Powerless	5	656	Sep 24, 2005 by Tammy
	Update on Me :) (Preview) Hello friends, My dad may get out of the hospital tomorrow if his blood thinning level is adequate :) Mom and I are much more relaxed now too. He is not suppose to drive for awhile so I will probably stay here another week. I did talk to my daughter 2 nights ago and she opened up to me about alot of her feelin...	cdb	6	711	Sep 24, 2005 by hvnly1
	Recovery (Preview) Hi Everyone I havn´t posted for a long time but i thought it would be good to post something good. My recovering A has been clean now for 1 year, not one drop of alcohol has passed his lips. I am so proud of him and of myself for getting through this last year. It hasn´t been easy, living with him whilst...	kiki	2	630	Sep 24, 2005 by Karilynn
	"INNER CAUSE OF PROBLEMS" QUOTES (Preview) Seek the inner cause of problems "When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?" -- Robert Half What holds you back from being and doing more? In your journal, list what you believe is holding you back. Have you blamed people or factors outside of yourself? It's important to unders...	Lani	1	1083	Sep 23, 2005 by bubbles1990
	True or False! ----(It is really there this time) (Preview) Hello All, Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false? 1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. 3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth...	Dolphin123	3	908	Sep 23, 2005 by kerry5
	Hard Lessons (Preview) Hi Everyone, I hope you are all well. I was working 7 days a week this summer, plus taking care of the kids, so I had no free time at all. Now that school has started and the first few hectic weeks are over, I hope things will be settling down. They say our HP puts us in places for reasons. This summer the...	Jeannie	8	839	Sep 23, 2005 by Jill
	How do you let them hit bottom without them dragging you down (Preview) In previous post I talked about leaving my husband about 7 weeks ago. I have since gone home to empty promises of him doing better. I have been home for almost a week now and I am already ready to leave again. I know if nothing changes, nothing changes. I don't know what to do.&n...	JulieLynn	3	812	Sep 23, 2005 by lin0606
	Up in Flames (Preview) Having such a hard time dealing with a situation with 19 year old son. He has made a decision which I can't agree with (joining army)...but as I know, I am powerless over this. The only thing I can change is ME. Looking back at step 3, it asks "What can I do when my loved ones make decisio...	kismetstrand	2	756	Sep 23, 2005 by kismetstrand
	waiting for the other shoe to fall (Preview) Tell me what you all do in this situation. My H has been the model of good behavior for the past month. No drugs, no binge drinking. Attending counseling (with and without me) i just don't believe that it will continue--and I don't know what to do with myself because of it. I need to stop waiting f...	gknee	7	743	Sep 23, 2005 by Peggy7
	trying to be tolerent (Preview) this is a great message....the language of letting go must have been thinking of me...cause my *tolerence is being tested with me!!!! Tolerance Practice tolerance. Tolerate our quirks, our feelings, our reactions, our peculiarities, and our humanness. Tolerate our...	rosie light shines	0	564	Sep 23, 2005 by rosie light shines
	how important is it??? (Preview) Hope for Today - September 23 I suffered from the compulsive need for perfection that I developed while growing up with an alcoholic mother. I found that trying to be perfect was the best defense against her anger. There was no way of knowing what would upset my mother nex...	rosie light shines	0	619	Sep 23, 2005 by rosie light shines
	and a new blow (Preview) Hello roomies.... so, here I am at work. The phone rings and it is my A. His uncle (also an A who is active) got drunk last night and they had words and he threw my A out. Now he has nowhere to live. Wants to sit down and "talk" b/c he can't continue paying the house bills if he needs to get...	Kim	10	769	Sep 23, 2005 by Diva
	Disease Misconceptions (Preview) A couple of days ago, RichardA wrote this in a reply to a post by raincaster. It caught my eye because I think I felt this way before recovery. He rights: "...SOME ALCOHOLICS WILL SEE THE LIGHT AND WITH PROPER GUIDANCE WILL HEAL THEMSELVES. I AM NOT A TRUE BELIEVER IN THE DISEASE THEORY BUT I DO BELIEVE T...	UncleLou	3	832	Sep 23, 2005 by sanddie
	Very nice "letting go" exercise from my sponsor (Preview) I have been really trying to let go of some feelings here in our home...mostly frustration, disappointment, fear and what not. It seems to be so difficult for me at times though. Communication is pretty strained in our home (not that it ever was our strongpoint) and after our blowout last week I wa...	sg	5	1686	Sep 23, 2005 by cedarpines
	Hurricane Rita (Preview) To all of you dear friends who are in the path of the Rita, or will be affected by it. I pray for your safety as well as those of your loved ones. Be safe, and if you can keep in touch with us. You will be in our prayers. Live strong, Karilynn	Karilynn	4	644	Sep 22, 2005 by Anew123
	dearest Diva (Preview) Well I guess if someone believes this is a healthy way to deal with a disease, then they do. Hi dear sis of alanon, no worries. I can see if someone would misunderstand!! Not like we are able to see each others purdy faces!! Ok this first line was meant if ANYONE believes this is healthy then the...	debilyn	2	650	Sep 22, 2005 by debilyn
	Diva (Preview) Debilyn I did not say anywhere in my post that I thought my way was "healthy". But then nor do I think I am evil, nor do I think anything I do is evil. Lighten up. My way might not be your way, but so be it. I didn't bother to read the rest of your post. People with closed minds do nothing for me. Diva If my post...	debilyn	3	775	Sep 22, 2005 by debilyn
	Dealing with alcoholic husband (Preview) My life seems to be totally turned upside down and I'm not sure who to turn to right now. I'm trying to make some decisions about whether to stay in my marriage or walk away from it to see if it will make him decide to do something about his problem. We have been married for almost 7 years. Have a 6 year old da...	unhappyannie	3	988	Sep 22, 2005 by gknee
	cold amid recovery (Preview) this is my first post. I'm new -- have been to Al-Anon face meetings a few times before about 10 years ago, some more about four years ago. I have read many of your posts. My "A" is my sister, who for many years was my inspiration, helped raise me, was my hero; but she has been a homeless (much of the time) meth...	David BD	8	797	Sep 22, 2005 by Kuila
	hp's working (Preview) hi everyone! thank you for your replies to my last posts...one of them a pity party! but the next day, after my pity party about staying up late to unwind and all that, i got up the next day and got to it, and have been doing good ever since, as far as not wasting my days away, even IF i stayed up late th...	search41	2	688	Sep 22, 2005 by TLC2
	Funny :-) (Preview) Hello Room, Found another funny to share! A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The short story had to contain the following three things: (1) Religion (2) Sexuality (3)&n...	Dolphin123	1	607	Sep 22, 2005 by Diva
	Hello everyone..... (Preview) I haven't been around in a day or two, so I must catch up on the latest posts and comment if I feel it necessary. As most of you know, my A, after 25 years sober, has a slide every now and then, and he was drinking for several days last week. I have a completely different way of handling him...and me...tha...	Diva	14	970	Sep 22, 2005 by Dolphin123
	Would like opininions please (Preview) I know not to ask for advice, so I'm asking for opinions. I posted last week about my 18 year old son going drinking for the first time (a co-worker who thinks my son HAS to drink). I didn't try to stop my son, I simply told him I thought it was a bad idea, but he's a big boy and has to make up his own mind, wh...	bcanuck	7	764	Sep 22, 2005 by jj
	The Great Truths (Preview) Hello All, I got a funny at work and I wanted to share it with ya. If you haven't noticed by this point, I like to laugh, and I like to share my laughter with others. GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When...	Dolphin123	1	651	Sep 22, 2005 by browneyes
	to Roygbiv (Preview) hi Roygbiv it's so nice to see you again. What a wonderful reply you sent to the new guy. It's good to have you back. -- Jill	Jill	4	666	Sep 22, 2005 by browneyes
	Nurture vs. Nature- the affect an A has (Preview) Here's the deal- I have two young kids (grade school) and am considering a very serious relationship with an A. I understand that my kids will not be able to inherit the addiction, but I am left concerned about what might happen to them being in such an environment. What sort of danger signs (in...	raincaster	8	716	Sep 22, 2005 by browneyes
	Was i too quick to judge? (Preview) My family has had a huge blow this week. My husbands (my A) youngest brother died in a motorcycle crash at the age of 28. It has hit us both very hard. I would assume that with a huge blow like this an A would hit the bottle very hard but he hasn't at all. I think he has had 1 drink. Was i too qu...	shadow1	4	837	Sep 22, 2005 by cdb
	a special B-day for me (Preview) hey ya'll i just had to share this with you...this is my *other even more important birthday!!!! today, last year, was my court date to get my name changed from my incestor father to a clean one!!! it was on this day last year, i began my road to recovery in fu...	rosie light shines	3	634	Sep 22, 2005 by Karilynn
	Hello...First Post (Preview) Hello , After moving to Cyprus fourteen years ago , marrying a local and having two children only to discover that he was a repetitive adulterer, seperated after six yrs of marriage . i spent the following four yrs on my own , bringing up my children and working hard (no such thing as child s...	cytagirl	7	1398	Sep 22, 2005 by lin0606
	I thought I had to take care of everyone (Preview) I was convinced that I had to take care of everything and everyone----I had no choice. But with the help of alanon, I have learned that, while I do have responsibilities, there are also many things I do not have to do: I dont have to understand everything. Somethigns are not my business, and others wil...	gardengal	6	875	Sep 22, 2005 by roygbiv
	I'm okay (Preview) I'm out traveling for awhile (with my A) and don't get online too often. Just wanted you to know that I'm okay...not working my program as hard as I should, but still okay for now. Sorry I haven't been there for you folks...you are in my heart, and I wonder how everyone is doing that I haven't hear...	Belongtome	1	595	Sep 21, 2005 by megan
	my anniversary (Preview) Hello roomies: Well today is my anniversary....three years married to my A. He has been calling incessantly for the past 6 days to get me to see him for dinner this evening. As you can see I did decline. He called again this morning....to say Happy Anniversary. I said nothing in return....	Kim	9	1175	Sep 21, 2005 by canadianguy
	Update on MOVE (Preview) Well, it is day 3 and I have what i think is a good update. My husband called and he is going to a counselor tomorrow. THAT IS HUGE.. He was ALWAYS against this and insisted he didnt need a shrink .. Not him BiG strong MAN... You are probably wondering what I said.. Well, I said that is a start a step in the rig...	Tammy	6	586	Sep 21, 2005 by bubbles1990
	haxigonian XXVII (Preview) [[ room ]] it's been a looooong, expensive day... i had vocational rehab interview at 0900 my time (pacific). it was nearly two hours long and the questions about my trauma were even more specific than in the social security interview. it brought back a LOT of bad stuff. The case...	haximon	2	631	Sep 21, 2005 by bubbles1990
	Prayers for Kountrygirl (Preview) Hi friends.. Our friend Kountrygirl will be having brain surgery tomorrow (20th) to hopefully remove an aneurism. How scary that must be. Please remeber her in your prayers and ask that HP be with her and see her through to recovery. Thanks Christy	Christy	5	642	Sep 21, 2005 by Christy
	Apology, amends :) (Preview) I would like to apologize and make amends to anyone I may have hurt recently by posting something innapropriate. It was not my intention and my heart breaks to think I may have hurt someone's feelings or broken a guideline. I am so very sorry. Doing something like this was the furthest from my mind or hea...	cdb	1	672	Sep 21, 2005 by Diva
	My ex's inappropriate behavior (Preview) Need to vent some stuff. Went back to a counselor my ex and I had seen over a year ago (what a difference a year makes in early recovery.) I thinks he sees now that there was nothing I could do last year to save the marriage. Nothing I did was ever good enough or it was too little too late. I went to get some gui...	UncleLou	7	737	Sep 21, 2005 by Christy
	i just "keep on keeping on" (Preview) Hope for Today - September 21 Sometimes as I struggle with the effects having grown up with the disease of alcoholism, the path seems too difficult to travel. I forget that there are ups and downs to any journey, and I feel overcome with disappointment with my seemingly slo...	rosie light shines	0	575	Sep 21, 2005 by rosie light shines
	First Post - would like some help (Preview) This is my first post, however, I've been visiting the site regularly as a guest for the last two months. I've been hoping to find someone with a similar situation, but I have not. Many of the posts that I read describe A's that have very serious problems. I feel for so many of you as so...	lonestar	6	805	Sep 21, 2005 by lonestar
	Please help me :( (Preview) Well I wish I knew what was going on anymore. I feel so sick and miserable when I am home. My stomach hurts and I get totally depressed. When I am out of the house I am sometimes able to pull myself out of this by using the tools I have been learning in Alanon. I am SO confused as to what I need to do. My gut tel...	sandie123	8	851	Sep 21, 2005 by roygbiv
	I'm trying :S (Preview) We'll i made it though the night and here I am today. I am thinking that my HP must be yelling at me by the way I feel. I still feel terrible but have talked to a bunch of poeple, both here and elsewhere. I keep coming up with the notion that my internal pain will go way once I deal with the problem. The problem be...	sandie123	3	707	Sep 20, 2005 by debilyn
	Cross over thread on patience (Preview) I went over to the AA db and found this thread...WOW...It spoke volumes to me and I wanted to bring this wonderful post over here (I hope it is okay) Patience is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. Let go of your need fo...	sg	1	686	Sep 20, 2005 by Annie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.