Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jersey · Jersey

I'm feeling so stupid right now. My A told me two weeks ago he wanted to get sober. He didn't drink all week. Then I went away last weekend to a Women's Spirituality Retreat for women in sobriety, I trusted him (I had to). When I got home I told him how proud I was of him, ect. Then tonight he as...

sandie123 · sandie123

I had a semi discussion a week ago with my A about the fact that we (me and his kids) were very concerned about him. I told him that we would like to help him when he is ready… however we all know we cannot help him until he is ready. I mentioned that I would be doing a few things differently…. No more waking hi...

Powerless · Powerless

I have been doing a lot of thinking this week. A couple of weeks ago, things were so hard financially and I had exhausted all resources of family and friends. There simply wasn't anyone else I could turn to. I worked in a position of management with developmentally delayed adults....

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, My dad may get out of the hospital tomorrow if his blood thinning level is adequate :) Mom and I are much more relaxed now too. He is not suppose to drive for awhile so I will probably stay here another week. I did talk to my daughter 2 nights ago and she opened up to me about alot of her feelin...

kiki · kiki

Hi Everyone I havn´t posted for a long time but i thought it would be good to post something good. My recovering A has been clean now for 1 year, not one drop of alcohol has passed his lips. I am so proud of him and of myself for getting through this last year. It hasn´t been easy, living with him whilst...

Lani · Lani

Seek the inner cause of problems "When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?" -- Robert Half What holds you back from being and doing more? In your journal, list what you believe is holding you back. Have you blamed people or factors outside of yourself? It's important to unders...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello All, Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false? 1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. 3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi Everyone, I hope you are all well. I was working 7 days a week this summer, plus taking care of the kids, so I had no free time at all. Now that school has started and the first few hectic weeks are over, I hope things will be settling down. They say our HP puts us in places for reasons. This summer the...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

In previous post I talked about leaving my husband about 7 weeks ago. I have since gone home to empty promises of him doing better. I have been home for almost a week now and I am already ready to leave again. I know if nothing changes, nothing changes. I don't know what to do.&n...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Having such a hard time dealing with a situation with 19 year old son. He has made a decision which I can't agree with (joining army)...but as I know, I am powerless over this. The only thing I can change is ME. Looking back at step 3, it asks "What can I do when my loved ones make decisio...

gknee · gknee

Tell me what you all do in this situation. My H has been the model of good behavior for the past month. No drugs, no binge drinking. Attending counseling (with and without me) i just don't believe that it will continue--and I don't know what to do with myself because of it. I need to stop waiting f...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

this is a great message....the language of letting go must have been thinking of me...cause my **tolerence* is being tested with me!!!! Tolerance Practice tolerance. Tolerate our quirks, our feelings, our reactions, our peculiarities, and our humanness. Tolerate our...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - September 23 I suffered from the compulsive need for perfection that I developed while growing up with an alcoholic mother. I found that trying to be perfect was the best defense against her anger. There was no way of knowing what would upset my mother nex...

Kim · Kim

Hello roomies.... so, here I am at work. The phone rings and it is my A. His uncle (also an A who is active) got drunk last night and they had words and he threw my A out. Now he has nowhere to live. Wants to sit down and "talk" b/c he can't continue paying the house bills if he needs to get...

UncleLou · UncleLou

A couple of days ago, RichardA wrote this in a reply to a post by raincaster. It caught my eye because I think I felt this way before recovery. He rights: "...SOME ALCOHOLICS WILL SEE THE LIGHT AND WITH PROPER GUIDANCE WILL HEAL THEMSELVES. I AM NOT A TRUE BELIEVER IN THE DISEASE THEORY BUT I DO BELIEVE T...

sg · sg

I have been really trying to let go of some feelings here in our home...mostly frustration, disappointment, fear and what not. It seems to be so difficult for me at times though. Communication is pretty strained in our home (not that it ever was our strongpoint) and after our blowout last week I wa...

Karilynn · Karilynn

To all of you dear friends who are in the path of the Rita, or will be affected by it. I pray for your safety as well as those of your loved ones. Be safe, and if you can keep in touch with us. You will be in our prayers.

Live strong, Karilynn

debilyn · debilyn

Well I guess if someone believes this is a healthy way to deal with a disease, then they do. Hi dear sis of alanon, no worries. I can see if someone would misunderstand!! Not like we are able to see each others purdy faces!! Ok this first line was meant if ANYONE believes this is healthy then the...

debilyn · debilyn

Debilyn I did not say anywhere in my post that I thought my way was "healthy". But then nor do I think I am evil, nor do I think anything I do is evil. Lighten up. My way might not be your way, but so be it. I didn't bother to read the rest of your post. People with closed minds do nothing for me. Diva If my post...

unhappyannie · unhappyannie

My life seems to be totally turned upside down and I'm not sure who to turn to right now. I'm trying to make some decisions about whether to stay in my marriage or walk away from it to see if it will make him decide to do something about his problem. We have been married for almost 7 years. Have a 6 year old da...

David BD · David BD

this is my first post. I'm new -- have been to Al-Anon face meetings a few times before about 10 years ago, some more about four years ago. I have read many of your posts. My "A" is my sister, who for many years was my inspiration, helped raise me, was my hero; but she has been a homeless (much of the time) meth...

search41 · search41

hi everyone! thank you for your replies to my last posts...one of them a pity party! but the next day, after my pity party about staying up late to unwind and all that, i got up the next day and got to it, and have been doing good ever since, as far as not wasting my days away, even IF i stayed up late th...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello Room, Found another funny to share! A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The short story had to contain the following three things: (1) Religion (2) Sexuality (3)&n...

Diva · Diva

I haven't been around in a day or two, so I must catch up on the latest posts and comment if I feel it necessary. As most of you know, my A, after 25 years sober, has a slide every now and then, and he was drinking for several days last week. I have a completely different way of handling him...and me...tha...

bcanuck · bcanuck

I know not to ask for advice, so I'm asking for opinions. I posted last week about my 18 year old son going drinking for the first time (a co-worker who thinks my son HAS to drink). I didn't try to stop my son, I simply told him I thought it was a bad idea, but he's a big boy and has to make up his own mind, wh...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hello All, I got a funny at work and I wanted to share it with ya. If you haven't noticed by this point, I like to laugh, and I like to share my laughter with others. GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When...

Jill · Jill

hi Roygbiv it's so nice to see you again. What a wonderful reply you sent to the new guy. It's good to have you back. -- Jill

raincaster · raincaster

Here's the deal- I have two young kids (grade school) and am considering a very serious relationship with an A. I understand that my kids will not be able to inherit the addiction, but I am left concerned about what might happen to them being in such an environment. What sort of danger signs (in...

shadow1 · shadow1

My family has had a huge blow this week. My husbands (my A) youngest brother died in a motorcycle crash at the age of 28. It has hit us both very hard. I would assume that with a huge blow like this an A would hit the bottle very hard but he hasn't at all. I think he has had 1 drink. Was i too qu...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

hey ya'll i just had to share this with you...this is my **other* even more important birthday!!!! today, last year, was my court date to get my name changed from my incestor father to a clean one!!! it was on this day last year, i began my road to recovery in fu...

cytagirl · cytagirl

Hello , After moving to Cyprus fourteen years ago , marrying a local and having two children only to discover that he was a repetitive adulterer, seperated after six yrs of marriage . i spent the following four yrs on my own , bringing up my children and working hard (no such thing as child s...

gardengal · gardengal

I was convinced that I had to take care of everything and everyone----I had no choice. But with the help of alanon, I have learned that, while I do have responsibilities, there are also many things I do not have to do: I dont have to understand everything. Somethigns are not my business, and others wil...

Belongtome · Belongtome

I'm out traveling for awhile (with my A) and don't get online too often. Just wanted you to know that I'm okay...not working my program as hard as I should, but still okay for now. Sorry I haven't been there for you folks...you are in my heart, and I wonder how everyone is doing that I haven't hear...

Kim · Kim

Hello roomies: Well today is my anniversary....three years married to my A. He has been calling incessantly for the past 6 days to get me to see him for dinner this evening. As you can see I did decline. He called again this morning....to say Happy Anniversary. I said nothing in return....

Tammy · Tammy

Well, it is day 3 and I have what i think is a good update. My husband called and he is going to a counselor tomorrow. THAT IS HUGE.. He was ALWAYS against this and insisted he didnt need a shrink .. Not him BiG strong MAN... You are probably wondering what I said.. Well, I said that is a start a step in the rig...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] it's been a looooong, expensive day... i had vocational rehab interview at 0900 my time (pacific). it was nearly two hours long and the questions about my trauma were even more specific than in the social security interview. it brought back a LOT of bad stuff. The case...

Christy · Christy

Hi friends.. Our friend Kountrygirl will be having brain surgery tomorrow (20th) to hopefully remove an aneurism. How scary that must be. Please remeber her in your prayers and ask that HP be with her and see her through to recovery. Thanks Christy

cdb · cdb

I would like to apologize and make amends to anyone I may have hurt recently by posting something innapropriate. It was not my intention and my heart breaks to think I may have hurt someone's feelings or broken a guideline. I am so very sorry. Doing something like this was the furthest from my mind or hea...

UncleLou · UncleLou

Need to vent some stuff. Went back to a counselor my ex and I had seen over a year ago (what a difference a year makes in early recovery.) I thinks he sees now that there was nothing I could do last year to save the marriage. Nothing I did was ever good enough or it was too little too late. I went to get some gui...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - September 21 Sometimes as I struggle with the effects having grown up with the disease of alcoholism, the path seems too difficult to travel. I forget that there are ups and downs to any journey, and I feel overcome with disappointment with my seemingly slo...

lonestar · lonestar

This is my first post, however, I've been visiting the site regularly as a guest for the last two months. I've been hoping to find someone with a similar situation, but I have not. Many of the posts that I read describe A's that have very serious problems. I feel for so many of you as so...

sandie123 · sandie123

Well I wish I knew what was going on anymore. I feel so sick and miserable when I am home. My stomach hurts and I get totally depressed. When I am out of the house I am sometimes able to pull myself out of this by using the tools I have been learning in Alanon. I am SO confused as to what I need to do. My gut tel...

sandie123 · sandie123

We'll i made it though the night and here I am today. I am thinking that my HP must be yelling at me by the way I feel. I still feel terrible but have talked to a bunch of poeple, both here and elsewhere. I keep coming up with the notion that my internal pain will go way once I deal with the problem. The problem be...

sg · sg

I went over to the AA db and found this thread...WOW...It spoke volumes to me and I wanted to bring this wonderful post over here (I hope it is okay) Patience is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. Let go of your need fo...

kimmie · kimmie

Well things have been going absolutely wonderful. It has been over two weeks and my "A" has not had one drink and he has been in an exceptionally great mood. We have never been closer and we are spending a lot more quality time with eachother and our son. We watch movies every night an...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

ok, you all, i am doing this share and i am astounded what this program has done for me.....i mean i read this share and thought "wow!!! i am only focusing on me/ love/ healing/ good things--- and NONE of the negative" so here goes, i will type as my heart dictates Hope for Tod...

Lani · Lani

Dear Friends, "The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes." Just me in love and spirit, Lani Children of Alcoholics http://lanipicard.com/coa.htm

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi all, Came across this when I was cleaning out my closet. I had this up in my office when I was in grad. school. Something to think about: Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you becau...

cdb · cdb

Hello everyone :) Thanks so much for the prayers for my dad. He is doing well after surgery. The hospital at Minnesota forgot to send the lazer machine today! The doctor gets it twice a month. I decided to think maybe it was my dad's HP taking care of him. The doctor and my dad decided to go ahead with the s...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, I am still away from home for two weeks now. My dad is back in the hospital to have surgery tomorrow for the mistake the nurse made when inserting the catheter. I thought it would be a quick recovery surgery but we all were uninformed. He will be unable to drive or do anything at all...

mama · mama

Hi to all, I am a grateful member of alanon for 2 years but I am having the hardest time of letting go. My son is an addict. he is 24 years old and seems to be going on 16. I love him dearly but the saying that they are addicted to drugs and we are addictedd to them...

arp_in_toronto · arp_in_toronto

Hi All I could tell you my story , but its been written here time after time already, sufice to say my wife is my "A" . After losing her job 2 weeks ago ( hardest worker ive ever known never missed a dayu in 5 years ) the booze has completly taken over, she has lost the ability to even try to stop drinking. Sh...

sg · sg

Last night I went to a f2f meeting...ironically it was the first meeting I went to ~9 yrs ago. I remember being in a situation where I was at my wits end w/my ex and how I had this uncomfortable feeling sitting around the table listening to people talk about "being happy whether the alcoholic is drinking o...

Veronica · Veronica

My sober A and I have been separated for a week following a break down in communication generally between us. We have been through a lot over the last year - miscarriage, I lost my job (only bread winner) and suffered from depression. Over the last few months communication between us has become very dif...

dot · dot

Hi - I need to apologize to all of you for not keeping up with my committment to the Step Board. My neck surgery was the same surgery for the second time in 2 1/2 years and guess it took much more out of me than I realized. Thought I'd bounce right back but my body didn't cooperate - was very tired and disinte...

kicky · kicky

I am in-love with my A...as most of you are. I'm trying to live my own life, not paying attention to his disease....taking one day at a time...staying in therapy. But everyday, I face the challenge of feeling hope for his recovery instead of focusing on mine. I don't have to be with this man. I choose to be...

marmare · marmare

I think I have finally got it. About a month or so ago I started working on Letting go and Letting God.....as hard as it has been to trust my HP I have worked especially hard on this, as it is easier to trust my HP to take care of things than for me to worry, worry, worry about my A and my life. This w...

iona54 · iona54

this was sent to me by a friend..i think it is wonderful..hope it helps some of you...hugs iona54 if necessary God of your understanding or Higher Power TEN GUIDELINES FROM GOD. 1. QUIT WORRYING: Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit an...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I will have to make this quick as there is little time left. I got a call today that upset me very much. Some of my cousins are trying to get me back into Kansas City and into "family" control. It's a typical tactic; financial and other types of bullying and shaming are included. W...

Kim · Kim

so he just called. Actually he called a few times before I actually answered. All about Tuesday. I asked if he feels that he really has enough time under his belt that he can give me what I want He says yes. A week does not a sober person make in my estimation. All I keep hea...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	never ends (Preview) I'm feeling so stupid right now. My A told me two weeks ago he wanted to get sober. He didn't drink all week. Then I went away last weekend to a Women's Spirituality Retreat for women in sobriety, I trusted him (I had to). When I got home I told him how proud I was of him, ect. Then tonight he as...	Jersey	6	555	Sep 24, 2005 by canadianguy
	Boundaries & Detachment (Preview) I had a semi discussion a week ago with my A about the fact that we (me and his kids) were very concerned about him. I told him that we would like to help him when he is ready… however we all know we cannot help him until he is ready. I mentioned that I would be doing a few things differently…. No more waking hi...	sandie123	4	701	Sep 24, 2005 by canadianguy
	My actions are worse than the addict's (Preview) I have been doing a lot of thinking this week. A couple of weeks ago, things were so hard financially and I had exhausted all resources of family and friends. There simply wasn't anyone else I could turn to. I worked in a position of management with developmentally delayed adults....	Powerless	5	548	Sep 24, 2005 by Tammy
	Update on Me :) (Preview) Hello friends, My dad may get out of the hospital tomorrow if his blood thinning level is adequate :) Mom and I are much more relaxed now too. He is not suppose to drive for awhile so I will probably stay here another week. I did talk to my daughter 2 nights ago and she opened up to me about alot of her feelin...	cdb	6	597	Sep 24, 2005 by hvnly1
	Recovery (Preview) Hi Everyone I havn´t posted for a long time but i thought it would be good to post something good. My recovering A has been clean now for 1 year, not one drop of alcohol has passed his lips. I am so proud of him and of myself for getting through this last year. It hasn´t been easy, living with him whilst...	kiki	2	509	Sep 24, 2005 by Karilynn
	"INNER CAUSE OF PROBLEMS" QUOTES (Preview) Seek the inner cause of problems "When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past?" -- Robert Half What holds you back from being and doing more? In your journal, list what you believe is holding you back. Have you blamed people or factors outside of yourself? It's important to unders...	Lani	1	887	Sep 23, 2005 by bubbles1990
	True or False! ----(It is really there this time) (Preview) Hello All, Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false? 1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. 3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth...	Dolphin123	3	707	Sep 23, 2005 by kerry5
	Hard Lessons (Preview) Hi Everyone, I hope you are all well. I was working 7 days a week this summer, plus taking care of the kids, so I had no free time at all. Now that school has started and the first few hectic weeks are over, I hope things will be settling down. They say our HP puts us in places for reasons. This summer the...	Jeannie	8	726	Sep 23, 2005 by Jill
	How do you let them hit bottom without them dragging you down (Preview) In previous post I talked about leaving my husband about 7 weeks ago. I have since gone home to empty promises of him doing better. I have been home for almost a week now and I am already ready to leave again. I know if nothing changes, nothing changes. I don't know what to do.&n...	JulieLynn	3	718	Sep 23, 2005 by lin0606
	Up in Flames (Preview) Having such a hard time dealing with a situation with 19 year old son. He has made a decision which I can't agree with (joining army)...but as I know, I am powerless over this. The only thing I can change is ME. Looking back at step 3, it asks "What can I do when my loved ones make decisio...	kismetstrand	2	645	Sep 23, 2005 by kismetstrand
	waiting for the other shoe to fall (Preview) Tell me what you all do in this situation. My H has been the model of good behavior for the past month. No drugs, no binge drinking. Attending counseling (with and without me) i just don't believe that it will continue--and I don't know what to do with myself because of it. I need to stop waiting f...	gknee	7	656	Sep 23, 2005 by Peggy7
	trying to be tolerent (Preview) this is a great message....the language of letting go must have been thinking of me...cause my *tolerence is being tested with me!!!! Tolerance Practice tolerance. Tolerate our quirks, our feelings, our reactions, our peculiarities, and our humanness. Tolerate our...	rosie light shines	0	461	Sep 23, 2005 by rosie light shines
	how important is it??? (Preview) Hope for Today - September 23 I suffered from the compulsive need for perfection that I developed while growing up with an alcoholic mother. I found that trying to be perfect was the best defense against her anger. There was no way of knowing what would upset my mother nex...	rosie light shines	0	500	Sep 23, 2005 by rosie light shines
	and a new blow (Preview) Hello roomies.... so, here I am at work. The phone rings and it is my A. His uncle (also an A who is active) got drunk last night and they had words and he threw my A out. Now he has nowhere to live. Wants to sit down and "talk" b/c he can't continue paying the house bills if he needs to get...	Kim	10	658	Sep 23, 2005 by Diva
	Disease Misconceptions (Preview) A couple of days ago, RichardA wrote this in a reply to a post by raincaster. It caught my eye because I think I felt this way before recovery. He rights: "...SOME ALCOHOLICS WILL SEE THE LIGHT AND WITH PROPER GUIDANCE WILL HEAL THEMSELVES. I AM NOT A TRUE BELIEVER IN THE DISEASE THEORY BUT I DO BELIEVE T...	UncleLou	3	719	Sep 23, 2005 by sanddie
	Very nice "letting go" exercise from my sponsor (Preview) I have been really trying to let go of some feelings here in our home...mostly frustration, disappointment, fear and what not. It seems to be so difficult for me at times though. Communication is pretty strained in our home (not that it ever was our strongpoint) and after our blowout last week I wa...	sg	5	1529	Sep 23, 2005 by cedarpines
	Hurricane Rita (Preview) To all of you dear friends who are in the path of the Rita, or will be affected by it. I pray for your safety as well as those of your loved ones. Be safe, and if you can keep in touch with us. You will be in our prayers. Live strong, Karilynn	Karilynn	4	524	Sep 22, 2005 by Anew123
	dearest Diva (Preview) Well I guess if someone believes this is a healthy way to deal with a disease, then they do. Hi dear sis of alanon, no worries. I can see if someone would misunderstand!! Not like we are able to see each others purdy faces!! Ok this first line was meant if ANYONE believes this is healthy then the...	debilyn	2	529	Sep 22, 2005 by debilyn
	Diva (Preview) Debilyn I did not say anywhere in my post that I thought my way was "healthy". But then nor do I think I am evil, nor do I think anything I do is evil. Lighten up. My way might not be your way, but so be it. I didn't bother to read the rest of your post. People with closed minds do nothing for me. Diva If my post...	debilyn	3	657	Sep 22, 2005 by debilyn
	Dealing with alcoholic husband (Preview) My life seems to be totally turned upside down and I'm not sure who to turn to right now. I'm trying to make some decisions about whether to stay in my marriage or walk away from it to see if it will make him decide to do something about his problem. We have been married for almost 7 years. Have a 6 year old da...	unhappyannie	3	877	Sep 22, 2005 by gknee
	cold amid recovery (Preview) this is my first post. I'm new -- have been to Al-Anon face meetings a few times before about 10 years ago, some more about four years ago. I have read many of your posts. My "A" is my sister, who for many years was my inspiration, helped raise me, was my hero; but she has been a homeless (much of the time) meth...	David BD	8	708	Sep 22, 2005 by Kuila
	hp's working (Preview) hi everyone! thank you for your replies to my last posts...one of them a pity party! but the next day, after my pity party about staying up late to unwind and all that, i got up the next day and got to it, and have been doing good ever since, as far as not wasting my days away, even IF i stayed up late th...	search41	2	572	Sep 22, 2005 by TLC2
	Funny :-) (Preview) Hello Room, Found another funny to share! A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The short story had to contain the following three things: (1) Religion (2) Sexuality (3)&n...	Dolphin123	1	491	Sep 22, 2005 by Diva
	Hello everyone..... (Preview) I haven't been around in a day or two, so I must catch up on the latest posts and comment if I feel it necessary. As most of you know, my A, after 25 years sober, has a slide every now and then, and he was drinking for several days last week. I have a completely different way of handling him...and me...tha...	Diva	14	874	Sep 22, 2005 by Dolphin123
	Would like opininions please (Preview) I know not to ask for advice, so I'm asking for opinions. I posted last week about my 18 year old son going drinking for the first time (a co-worker who thinks my son HAS to drink). I didn't try to stop my son, I simply told him I thought it was a bad idea, but he's a big boy and has to make up his own mind, wh...	bcanuck	7	677	Sep 22, 2005 by jj
	The Great Truths (Preview) Hello All, I got a funny at work and I wanted to share it with ya. If you haven't noticed by this point, I like to laugh, and I like to share my laughter with others. GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When...	Dolphin123	1	528	Sep 22, 2005 by browneyes
	to Roygbiv (Preview) hi Roygbiv it's so nice to see you again. What a wonderful reply you sent to the new guy. It's good to have you back. -- Jill	Jill	4	582	Sep 22, 2005 by browneyes
	Nurture vs. Nature- the affect an A has (Preview) Here's the deal- I have two young kids (grade school) and am considering a very serious relationship with an A. I understand that my kids will not be able to inherit the addiction, but I am left concerned about what might happen to them being in such an environment. What sort of danger signs (in...	raincaster	8	605	Sep 22, 2005 by browneyes
	Was i too quick to judge? (Preview) My family has had a huge blow this week. My husbands (my A) youngest brother died in a motorcycle crash at the age of 28. It has hit us both very hard. I would assume that with a huge blow like this an A would hit the bottle very hard but he hasn't at all. I think he has had 1 drink. Was i too qu...	shadow1	4	724	Sep 22, 2005 by cdb
	a special B-day for me (Preview) hey ya'll i just had to share this with you...this is my *other even more important birthday!!!! today, last year, was my court date to get my name changed from my incestor father to a clean one!!! it was on this day last year, i began my road to recovery in fu...	rosie light shines	3	516	Sep 22, 2005 by Karilynn
	Hello...First Post (Preview) Hello , After moving to Cyprus fourteen years ago , marrying a local and having two children only to discover that he was a repetitive adulterer, seperated after six yrs of marriage . i spent the following four yrs on my own , bringing up my children and working hard (no such thing as child s...	cytagirl	7	1254	Sep 22, 2005 by lin0606
	I thought I had to take care of everyone (Preview) I was convinced that I had to take care of everything and everyone----I had no choice. But with the help of alanon, I have learned that, while I do have responsibilities, there are also many things I do not have to do: I dont have to understand everything. Somethigns are not my business, and others wil...	gardengal	6	767	Sep 22, 2005 by roygbiv
	I'm okay (Preview) I'm out traveling for awhile (with my A) and don't get online too often. Just wanted you to know that I'm okay...not working my program as hard as I should, but still okay for now. Sorry I haven't been there for you folks...you are in my heart, and I wonder how everyone is doing that I haven't hear...	Belongtome	1	482	Sep 21, 2005 by megan
	my anniversary (Preview) Hello roomies: Well today is my anniversary....three years married to my A. He has been calling incessantly for the past 6 days to get me to see him for dinner this evening. As you can see I did decline. He called again this morning....to say Happy Anniversary. I said nothing in return....	Kim	9	1052	Sep 21, 2005 by canadianguy
	Update on MOVE (Preview) Well, it is day 3 and I have what i think is a good update. My husband called and he is going to a counselor tomorrow. THAT IS HUGE.. He was ALWAYS against this and insisted he didnt need a shrink .. Not him BiG strong MAN... You are probably wondering what I said.. Well, I said that is a start a step in the rig...	Tammy	6	468	Sep 21, 2005 by bubbles1990
	haxigonian XXVII (Preview) [[ room ]] it's been a looooong, expensive day... i had vocational rehab interview at 0900 my time (pacific). it was nearly two hours long and the questions about my trauma were even more specific than in the social security interview. it brought back a LOT of bad stuff. The case...	haximon	2	519	Sep 21, 2005 by bubbles1990
	Prayers for Kountrygirl (Preview) Hi friends.. Our friend Kountrygirl will be having brain surgery tomorrow (20th) to hopefully remove an aneurism. How scary that must be. Please remeber her in your prayers and ask that HP be with her and see her through to recovery. Thanks Christy	Christy	5	524	Sep 21, 2005 by Christy
	Apology, amends :) (Preview) I would like to apologize and make amends to anyone I may have hurt recently by posting something innapropriate. It was not my intention and my heart breaks to think I may have hurt someone's feelings or broken a guideline. I am so very sorry. Doing something like this was the furthest from my mind or hea...	cdb	1	595	Sep 21, 2005 by Diva
	My ex's inappropriate behavior (Preview) Need to vent some stuff. Went back to a counselor my ex and I had seen over a year ago (what a difference a year makes in early recovery.) I thinks he sees now that there was nothing I could do last year to save the marriage. Nothing I did was ever good enough or it was too little too late. I went to get some gui...	UncleLou	7	643	Sep 21, 2005 by Christy
	i just "keep on keeping on" (Preview) Hope for Today - September 21 Sometimes as I struggle with the effects having grown up with the disease of alcoholism, the path seems too difficult to travel. I forget that there are ups and downs to any journey, and I feel overcome with disappointment with my seemingly slo...	rosie light shines	0	497	Sep 21, 2005 by rosie light shines
	First Post - would like some help (Preview) This is my first post, however, I've been visiting the site regularly as a guest for the last two months. I've been hoping to find someone with a similar situation, but I have not. Many of the posts that I read describe A's that have very serious problems. I feel for so many of you as so...	lonestar	6	723	Sep 21, 2005 by lonestar
	Please help me :( (Preview) Well I wish I knew what was going on anymore. I feel so sick and miserable when I am home. My stomach hurts and I get totally depressed. When I am out of the house I am sometimes able to pull myself out of this by using the tools I have been learning in Alanon. I am SO confused as to what I need to do. My gut tel...	sandie123	8	767	Sep 21, 2005 by roygbiv
	I'm trying :S (Preview) We'll i made it though the night and here I am today. I am thinking that my HP must be yelling at me by the way I feel. I still feel terrible but have talked to a bunch of poeple, both here and elsewhere. I keep coming up with the notion that my internal pain will go way once I deal with the problem. The problem be...	sandie123	3	628	Sep 20, 2005 by debilyn
	Cross over thread on patience (Preview) I went over to the AA db and found this thread...WOW...It spoke volumes to me and I wanted to bring this wonderful post over here (I hope it is okay) Patience is the ability to: Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration. Let go of your need fo...	sg	1	614	Sep 20, 2005 by Annie
	Update on "A"'s recovery (Preview) Well things have been going absolutely wonderful. It has been over two weeks and my "A" has not had one drink and he has been in an exceptionally great mood. We have never been closer and we are spending a lot more quality time with eachother and our son. We watch movies every night an...	kimmie	3	760	Sep 20, 2005 by Annie
	NEVER thought i would feel this way (Preview) ok, you all, i am doing this share and i am astounded what this program has done for me.....i mean i read this share and thought "wow!!! i am only focusing on me/ love/ healing/ good things--- and NONE of the negative" so here goes, i will type as my heart dictates Hope for Tod...	rosie light shines	2	525	Sep 20, 2005 by TLC2
	Comic Relief for Today (Preview) Dear Friends, "The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes." Just me in love and spirit, Lani Children of Alcoholics http://lanipicard.com/coa.htm	Lani	3	582	Sep 20, 2005 by Karilynn
	Be patient (Preview) Hi all, Came across this when I was cleaning out my closet. I had this up in my office when I was in grad. school. Something to think about: Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you becau...	Karilynn	3	523	Sep 20, 2005 by Karilynn
	Thanks for prayers :) (Preview) Hello everyone :) Thanks so much for the prayers for my dad. He is doing well after surgery. The hospital at Minnesota forgot to send the lazer machine today! The doctor gets it twice a month. I decided to think maybe it was my dad's HP taking care of him. The doctor and my dad decided to go ahead with the s...	cdb	0	523	Sep 20, 2005 by cdb
	Update/dad,surgery,me :) (Preview) Hello friends, I am still away from home for two weeks now. My dad is back in the hospital to have surgery tomorrow for the mistake the nurse made when inserting the catheter. I thought it would be a quick recovery surgery but we all were uninformed. He will be unable to drive or do anything at all...	cdb	9	601	Sep 20, 2005 by lebe27
	Just in need of comfort (Preview) Hi to all, I am a grateful member of alanon for 2 years but I am having the hardest time of letting go. My son is an addict. he is 24 years old and seems to be going on 16. I love him dearly but the saying that they are addicted to drugs and we are addictedd to them...	mama	5	586	Sep 20, 2005 by mama
	My first Post here (Preview) Hi All I could tell you my story , but its been written here time after time already, sufice to say my wife is my "A" . After losing her job 2 weeks ago ( hardest worker ive ever known never missed a dayu in 5 years ) the booze has completly taken over, she has lost the ability to even try to stop drinking. Sh...	arp_in_toronto	11	736	Sep 20, 2005 by nmike
	Deja Vu (Preview) Last night I went to a f2f meeting...ironically it was the first meeting I went to ~9 yrs ago. I remember being in a situation where I was at my wits end w/my ex and how I had this uncomfortable feeling sitting around the table listening to people talk about "being happy whether the alcoholic is drinking o...	sg	1	514	Sep 20, 2005 by marmare
	scared of being left again (Preview) My sober A and I have been separated for a week following a break down in communication generally between us. We have been through a lot over the last year - miscarriage, I lost my job (only bread winner) and suffered from depression. Over the last few months communication between us has become very dif...	Veronica	6	584	Sep 20, 2005 by nmike
	To all (Preview) Hi - I need to apologize to all of you for not keeping up with my committment to the Step Board. My neck surgery was the same surgery for the second time in 2 1/2 years and guess it took much more out of me than I realized. Thought I'd bounce right back but my body didn't cooperate - was very tired and disinte...	dot	3	596	Sep 20, 2005 by DanaAngel
	Nobody's recovered...is that OK? (Preview) I am in-love with my A...as most of you are. I'm trying to live my own life, not paying attention to his disease....taking one day at a time...staying in therapy. But everyday, I face the challenge of feeling hope for his recovery instead of focusing on mine. I don't have to be with this man. I choose to be...	kicky	10	776	Sep 20, 2005 by sg
	A New Day (Preview) I think I have finally got it. About a month or so ago I started working on Letting go and Letting God.....as hard as it has been to trust my HP I have worked especially hard on this, as it is easier to trust my HP to take care of things than for me to worry, worry, worry about my A and my life. This w...	marmare	5	566	Sep 20, 2005 by sg
	10 guidelines (Preview) this was sent to me by a friend..i think it is wonderful..hope it helps some of you...hugs iona54 if necessary God of your understanding or Higher Power TEN GUIDELINES FROM GOD. 1. QUIT WORRYING: Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit an...	iona54	5	666	Sep 20, 2005 by sg
	haxigonian XXVI (Preview) [[ room ]] I will have to make this quick as there is little time left. I got a call today that upset me very much. Some of my cousins are trying to get me back into Kansas City and into "family" control. It's a typical tactic; financial and other types of bullying and shaming are included. W...	haximon	6	652	Sep 19, 2005 by Anew123
	and the beat goes on (Preview) so he just called. Actually he called a few times before I actually answered. All about Tuesday. I asked if he feels that he *really* has enough time under his belt that he can give me what I want He says yes. A week does not a sober person make in my estimation. All I keep hea...	Kim	5	630	Sep 19, 2005 by David BD
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.