The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A couple of days ago, RichardA wrote this in a reply to a post by raincaster. It caught my eye because I think I felt this way before recovery. He rights:
"...SOME ALCOHOLICS WILL SEE THE LIGHT AND WITH PROPER GUIDANCE WILL HEAL THEMSELVES. I AM NOT A TRUE BELIEVER IN THE DISEASE THEORY BUT I DO BELIEVE THAT AA IS THE FIRST BABYSTEP FOLLOWED BY INDIVIDUALIZED THERAPY TO ADDRESS THE UNDERLYING PROBLEMS THAT MAY EXIST IN THE ALCOHOLICS MIND ..."
I'm not bringing this up a knock on RichardA, like I said I think I felt the same way at one point. I think I've learned a few things since then though.
When I first went to AA meetings, I couldn't stand it when people talked about 'my disease.' Screw you! I drink too much and I'm miserable. That's why I'm here, not because of a disease! If I could just control or stop the excessive drinking, I'll be fine. Well guess what I found out. I can't control or stop the drinking because it IS a disease. This fact really sunk in to my thick skull at my rehab. I had already read the Big Book and tried to understand what was going on with me. The thing that really amazed me was that everything that they talk about in the Big Book about the behavior of the active alcoholic (me) has since been backed up by medicine and science. The phenomenon of craving, the insane justifications, the depression; these were all things that the early AA’s determined to be caused by the disease of alcoholism. How? Through personal experience and the shared experience of other alcoholics. Today, there is not one thing discovered by the modern study of the brain chemistry that contradicts what it says in the Big Book. The alcoholic’s brain is ‘wired’ different than non alcoholics. Period. This has been proven scientifically, not just observed (like the first AA’s did it)
I am by nature a skeptical person. When this stuff was presented to me at the rehab, I finally accepted it as a disease, not just a moral or personality defect. This was a HUGE step towards my recovery. I firmly believe today that those of you, like RichardA, who are not “true believers” may want to do a little more research. Until you understand that this is a disease, like diabetes or cancer, you will make your own recovery that much more difficult because of some basic misconceptions and false assumptions you may hold onto about you’re A’s behavior.
About the part about “..WILL SEE THE LIGHT AND … WILL HEAL THEMSELVES…“ I now believe a little differently here too. I am recovered 2 years and I know I did not heal myself. I am powerless over alcohol, this is the light I saw. At this point I really have no other choice than to believe that a Higher Power removed my desire to drink, I did not.
I think that these two points may seem minor to some people, but to me, these are key elements in the foundation of my recovery. I think it may also hold the key to recovery for some non-alcoholics who are affected by this horrible disease.
Have a big hug on me! I really enjoy reading your posts, you have so much insight and you are so helpful. You are going through a difficult time, and yet here you are helping others to understand the "other side" a little more. I think you are great.
Anyway----------
About your post.
I know my "A" can not heal himself, by himself.
He did that therapy BS and it didn't help him. The only time my "A" has been able to stay clean and sober is when he is following a 12 step program. There are people out there that can do it without working a program, and more power to 'em I say. And some people use the therapy as a tool.
Grasping the whole "this is a disease" factor was very easy to grasp. It helped me to let go of the anger and resentment of his addiction. I also felt that since our 12 steps were adopted from AA, and I was powerless over alcohol, then doesn't that mean that he is to. I soon founf out that he was indeed powerless.
It is my belief that when a person finds AA and starts working a program, they have found the light.
Well I say take what you like and leave the rest.
Much Love to you Lou! Once again thank you for all you have done, you have helped me understand my "A".
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Lou.. I recently listened to some AA speaker CD's. They described alcohol as having an allergy. It's like someone allergic to fish or strawberries. They know they are allergic, but they are tempted and try just "one". As soon as they try one, the throat closes, sometimes a rash appears etc. They KNOW they are allergic before they take the bite. The same as alcoholism. It's all OK until they take the first drink...then there is no stopping them.
Of course the CD's were not w/o humor. One of the speakers was talking about the excuses that an alcoholic tells himself and others. One very familiar one (speaking of beer) was :I just really like the taste". The speaker said, "I like the taste of Spring Water, but I've never sat down and drank a case of it"!!!. Had to chuckle, as I have heard "I like the taste" many times.
Take care, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I understand compleley that alcoholism is a disease, as our many mental illness and emotional conditions-- Some are explainable and are a result of something physical.
I believe that MUCH of our mental/emotional illness is a result of a diminished or weakened spiritual life, as do most other Theologians.
There is a book that I think could benefit most people... by Neil Anderson, "Victory Over The Darkness", a battle for the mind.
I also believe that many people do not want to talk about how Satan has a HUGE impact in this world and it is for this very reason that we see so much tragedy. As long as people are in denial over the negative influence he has in our lives--- we do not have the skills and knowledge to resist his deception. Just like an alocholic who is in denial-- as long as that denial is present, then there is no recourse in resisting the addiction. Same is true with Satan-- as long as we choose not to understand and learn more about Satan, then we do not have the skills or ability to resist his nonsense thrown in our lives.
I really enjoy reading your posts, you have so much insight and you are so helpful. You are going through a difficult time, and yet here you are helping others to understand the "other side" a little more. I think you are great.