The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been really trying to let go of some feelings here in our home...mostly frustration, disappointment, fear and what not. It seems to be so difficult for me at times though.
Communication is pretty strained in our home (not that it ever was our strongpoint) and after our blowout last week I was left w/quite a bit of things left unsaid that I wanted my A. to know how I felt.
My rule of thumb is wait three days after something happens to allow a period of time to see "how important is it" and also to "act-not react".
I wanted to be able to talk f2f w/my A., but it just isn't working. So in our home I email him! lol...we each have seperate pcs and I know he reads his mail.
So anyway...I sent him an email and kept the focus on me and how I was feeling. Not asking anything in return from him but to listen. I sent a copy of the letter to my sponsor who is helping me thru this step by step.
Here's what I got back from her last night:
"You are sooo brave! I believe the messgae was heart felt and honest. I like the part of not asking him for anything, just letting know how you feel.
Now that it was sent, take a deep breath and let your HP take it from you. Imagine all the family emotions stuffed in a balloon. Including your own anger and resentments about your relationship. Now let go of the string and watch it float into a blue sky. Take another deep breath.
Hopefully you can let them go and only pick them up when it is time."
When I went to bed last night, which usually is the time of day my head starts getting noisey w/all my thinking, I was having a hard time falling asleep. I imagined a balloon, a red one (why red, I have no idea), and me stuffing it full of those feelings. I closed my eyes and pictured it floating into a bright blue sky. I took some deep breaths and I couldn't believe how it helped!
Good thing I have an unlimited supply of imaginary balloons!
That's a great exercise! My A lovingly has always told me that I'm full of hot air. I too will have an unlimited supply of balloons!
It's great that you have an alternative way of reaching your A. Sometimes doing a f2f is harder. I can get flustered at times. I keep a journal of letters to him. Sometimes I show him, sometimes not. Just getting it down on paper or in the computer is so much easier. There's another benefit, if I'm not sure if I want to send it, I put away for a few days. Then I can come back to it, and decide if I want to send it. That can make all the difference in the world.
Thanks again!
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
My way, is a lot like yours. I go to my one place, south deck that looks out to the mountains by my place. I breath a big breath out and let it flow to my hp, to the mountains. I picture a sorta mist going out of me, all the pain the anxiety and the concerns I feel.
It does work huh? thank you thank you for sharing yours, it is much ' nore colorful than mine, but mine is bio degradable!!! lol
Thank you for sharing this helpful tip from your sponsor. I love learning new things like this in this program. It reminded me that my sponsor worked with me about breathing. When I breathe in -I have to give my air a color like white or clean blue, breathing it in through my nose & in my lungs, etc., then when I breathe out I say I am releasing the bad dark air from my body. This worked better for me than just trying to breathe - I was uncoordinated or something. Anyway, when I remember it - it works. Now I have balloons too - thanks to you.
