Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

marmare · marmare

Well, I guess I too have had my fill. After he came stumbling in past 3 this morning, we had some words. Not a lot as I soon remembered I was getting sucked in. This morning I got ready to do some errands and asked him what his plans were the weekend, he said why? I said we need to tal...

nycbt · nycbt

I have a problem setting up boundaries. My husband knows that an takes full advantage of it. Like he takes my car and I get angry and then that is it nothing happens after it. So I guess he knows that nothing will happen that is why he keeps doing it. But you know what it is very hard to argue with someone about...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - October 3 Have you ever had the opportunity to watchpreschoolers put together a puzzle? If a piece doesn'tfit immediately, they often push and shove to make itfit, making lots of sound effects along the way.This is how I lived most of my life. I never felt like I"fit" in my alcoholic f...

nycbt · nycbt

Fear controls me. I have a fear of my husband going out and getting drunk and or a dwi. I have a fear when he comes home we will fight. I have a fear of him leaving. I call him all the time in hope that he wouldn't get into any trouble. I know there is nothing I can do but the fear is still there. I have a fear when he w...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

this is taken from "NA" which has some REAL good daily messages......to me addiction is addiction....whether its 80 proof or drugs or relationships or fear/hate/resentment/control....whatever.....so i rea...

tullemars · tullemars

We have court tomorrow. She will most likely be removed. I am doing it for myself and my kids. I need to have a life. I will love and be loved. I will be happy My kids will not sufferr alcoholism in the house anymore. I know we are on our way to alot of therapy. It is hard and pain...

nycbt · nycbt

I have now realize I haven't reach my bottom, that is why I am putting up with this crap. I guess I think he will see the light and get help. I don't know why I put my self through all this stuff. Why I get so upset and physcial and mental drain when he takes my car. I feel my self losing it. I don't know what comes o...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

during the meeting today my a smoked some weed. when meeting was over (alanon online meeting) my a had a panic attack , he thought he was having a heart attack so i called 911. it is odd because he is only 22 but he did cocaine on friday so i thought it might be a possibility. anyways right before this occured...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

the post that had the worksheet for step two was extremly helpful i thought i was passed that step but when i saw the worksheet it made me realise i wasn't. so i must go back. so please if anyone else has worksheets for other sheets please share. thank you

fitone · fitone

Letting go: the thing is you can't make a person be what they don't want to be you can't make them do what they don't want to do, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Acceptence: accepting a person as they are, accepting their belifes, values, likes and dislikes. Live and let live....

Tammy · Tammy

As many of you know I left my husband of 19 year two weeks ago. My children and I moved about 45 min. from our home. My husband and I have talked several times and Friday night we had dinner and a movie.. I got to see the man I love again. Saturday morning he ask me to bring the kids and come home. He has only bee...

Ratchie · Ratchie

Hi Friends, Funny how one day you feel real strong, able to encourage others, and the next you question yourself? My husband is out of state hunting, should be back Tues or Wed. When he gets back he is moving into a house in town. I will admit that it's been nice and quiet around here, but...

marmare · marmare

The day has brought questions of my own choices. A counselor that worked at the treatment agency just emailed me and reinforced that I am right where I am supposed to be, that choices are made when they are supposed to be made if I didn't force things to happen but if they felt natural at the time. ...

princess433 · princess433

Everytime I see you my heart skips a beat. I have this fealing that just takes over me. I dont know if its good or bad, I guess that its just me. Everytime I hear your voice I think of all the memories. I think of all the pain youve caused me and all the hurt ive felt. It really hurts to feal this pain because it...

kitty · kitty

When you work the steps & you read step 6, right there after four & all "moral inventory" seems like it is some kind of a negative thing. Having been on a road of truth and to fearlessly learn, realize & actualize how to love mys...

hadit · hadit

I don't post here usually, mostly because I'm new to all of this and am not sure where my head is at most of the time. Plus I guess I am keeping to myself most days now, although I'm not so sure it's good for my mind. Anyway, I (as usual) am confused about my expectations and thoughts. My husband and I have been...

WakingUp · WakingUp

I came into Al-Anon with an understanding that I could not change the alcoholics in my life. I felt anxious all the time and agreed that my life had become unmanageable. I've learned some things in Al-Anon already. Probably I will repeat these steps many times in the years to come....

Drucilla · Drucilla

I had a telephone confrontation with my A sister today.Our mother is 90 and between myself and my 2 A sisters we have to take her to doctors,get her groceries,etc.It is stressfull to begin with but then dealing with my sisters complicates matters.Today she started yelling at me and accusing me of not d...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hi everyone i've been in program for about three weeks and would like a sponsor to help me out and ensure successs with the program. i've asked a few but they don't feel like they're qualified. so please respond if you might be able to help. thx

Kim · Kim

Hello roomies: Last night I had a great time with my A, he took me into NYC for dinner and then we went to a comedy show. We had a good time and talked a bit about things....now I feel so scared that I'm reverting back to old behaviors and not detaching because I've gotten close to him again. It has been easy...

ragingchild · ragingchild

I believe I am onto step 2, but not sure being so new at this and all. I know that I have no control over the alcohol my mom drank and the sex abuse at the hands of my step grandpa wasn't my fault either, that took me a while but I know that now. I also realize that my emotions and my way of thin...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Coping with Families There are many paths to self-care with families. Some people choose to sever connections with family members for a period of time. Some people choose to stay connected with family members and learn different behaviors. Some disconnect for a time, and then return slowly on...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Denial I've been recovering many years. I've used denial many times. It has been a defense, a survival device, a coping behavior, and, at times, almost my undoing. It has been both a friend and an enemy.When I was a child, I used denial to protect my family and myself. I protected myself from seeing...

kerry5 · kerry5

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Old Faithful · Old Faithful

As I mentioned yesterday afternoon I knew it was possible that yesterday I may have been put in hospital for a couple of days to get my electrolytes in order and my hubs had given me his "word" as a man, so to speak that he would be home for the kids, sober. ( as opposed to promises from him which mean nothing!...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I've come to an awakening of sorts... It seems to me Portland is a reverse-Cincinnati, if you will. The things I hated about Cincinnati are all far better here, so i'm stayin. I was so disgusted with some of the things I saw in mixed-gender meetings I wanted to qui...

chrissy · chrissy

hi guys i feel a little better with some new hope we met the deacon tonight. i wasn't sure he was going to show. he hugged me so tight. we were talking together for a while and then deacon said can you step outside for a minute. i did the deacon ripped him a new one. they were in there for over an ho...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - October 2 I often heard, "You'll never amount anything.You'll end up barefoot and pregnant. Colleges don't except dummies like you." These statements wereimprinted on my mind and heart from a very earlyage while growing up with the chaotic, inconsistent,and abusive behavior of m...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hello roomies, Just wanted to tell you that I'm probably not going to be on the board for a few days, maybe up to a week. I'm down with step throat and pink eye. I still have to go to work otherwise I'll loose my vacation for the following week. (Not to mention, the boss is on vacation starting tomorro...

Powerless · Powerless

I had a job interview yesterday and I think it went well. At least I hope it went well. I also saw my doctor who refilled my medication. I started back on my Prozac a few days ago and keep telling myself that it will take a little time (4-6 weeks) to fully get i...

sandie123 · sandie123

Well lately things haven't been going so great. I've been trying real hard.. going to f2f meetings, online meetings and chat, posting things and reading literature. I've been listening to everyone and trying to take it all in. I really felt that I was going somewhere but recently thing...

UncleLou · UncleLou

I really need some help letting go. Its only been a month since the divorce, but I'm having a real tough time facing reality. I hate myself for still having these feelings for my ex. I'm sitting here crying over this. What a pathetic loser. I hate to admit that I still love her and want to be with her. Everyo...

gardengal · gardengal

I spend more time with myself than with anyone else. Wouldnt it make sense to put some energy into making that relationship as fulfulling as possible? Another person cannot prevent me from feeling lonely, but my inner emptiness can be satsified. I can come to value my own company! I am a worthwh...

sanddie · sanddie

If we really think about it. When we continue to obsess, grow anxous and stay consumed in our fears aren't we really just mimicking the same emotions of our alcoholic significant other? We don't like their behavior, yet we have similar behavior when we are affected by them. So shouldn't we be focusing...

gknee · gknee

Hi Everybody- Have been reading the board faithfully the past 6 weeks or so(prior to this i was only one to read or post during a "bad spell"). Posting if I think I've got something to say. Its so interesting, this life of ours. I've been in the crazy day postings and the confused day postings and the sad...

chrissy · chrissy

i am going crazy i hate that he did this to us. i cant even talk to him at night. he came here last night i gave him so more of his stuff and he had to leave by 9:30 this is not a marriage it is a joke. we have no where to go so we hang out in a car. i am so trying to make the best of this but it hurts so much. i really d...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

MANAGING CHANGE by Pamela Brewer, MSW, Ph.D., LCSW-C Change is usually a scary thing. Change you choose and change you don’t choose can be equally scary. Join the human club. Human beings usually find themselves struggling with at least some anxiety when it comes to thinking about and dealing w...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

This is very soothing: www.goodtimes2.com/morningprayer.htm

Peggy7 · Peggy7

"Risks and Focus" How good are you at focusing your attention? It is an extremely valuable skill, and I would like to talk about it today. As I talked about yesterday, if we are to grow and reach our full potential, it is absolutely necessary to take risks. By its very nature, risk impl...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Be Who You Are In recovery, we're learning a new behavior. It's called Be Who You Are.For some of us, this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of ada...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Not Just A Motivation For Growth "We learn that pain can be a motivating factor in recovery." Basic Text p.29 "Pain - who needs it!" we think whenever we're in it. We see no good purpose for pain. It seems to be a pointless exercise in suffering. If someone happens to mention spiritual growth to...

Kim · Kim

Well, tonight my A is not the problem. My tenants called to say that they are moving out which is money that I am very dependent on now that I am living alone. I am so upset b/c I had told them what was going on (somewhat) between my husband and I when it first happened and she assured me th...

nikkilou · nikkilou

I have always been around police, FBI and missing person. Though work and at home. There are lots of sick people who prey on people feeling down. I think you should not put full names city and state, birthdate in your profile. Their is an edit profile line. It...

ragingchild · ragingchild

I'm new here. I've been on the Adult Child board for a few days. I have an A mom. I don't know when it started, but I became aware of it around 14 years old. I am 24, I'll be 25 in Oct. She alienated me from my dad, so I never really knew him until after I married. My relations...

princess433 · princess433

Hi again people.. Ok.. Well I have to get a lawer so that I can stay in the school that I am in because the school district that I live in is really bad. Well anyway I think that ny grandparents will have to adopt me in order for me to stay in my school. When I heard that they might have to adopt me I felt kind o...

marmare · marmare

I have read so many posts in the last couple days and the ups and downs in my own life. I am starting to realize how selfish and self centered this disease is. Today I feel like I can't handle one more disappointment, one more broken promise, one more rude comment. I try to work m...

sandie123 · sandie123

This roller coaster is driving me totally crazy. I've been trying so hard to figure out what is next and where I am going. It seems like I read and go to meetings but where do I go next? It seems like the more I listen the more pain I feel lateley. What do I do with that pain? How do I get rid of the pain especial...

sg · sg

I realize that my A. has recently dried up and that he isn't in any position to give the family what we need right now. I kept this in mind tonight when I suggested to try to communicate w/his step son (my son). My A. got upset over something totally stupid...my son putting tobasco sauce on his turkey....

browneyes · browneyes

Hey all I really cannot describe how I feel right now because all of the emotions whirling through me. I guess I'm scared and tired and angry and I want to hide and run so bad. My husband has been awake since Saturday. He has also been driving back and forth to LA twice so I have not seen him...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Not a Victim You are not a victim. How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of vict...

Old Faithful · Old Faithful

As with all of you I'm sure, the " whole story" would take a book, but I'll try to get to the point, which I'm not always good at. I've stopped by here occasionally before to read posts, but after last night, this morning I felt I just had to register so I could post. I've been married almost 14 years...

search41 · search41

one more thought: if this $25 doesn't get paid tomorrow for this drivers license thing, and a warrant DOES got out for his arrest, it will be ALL my fault for not giving him the $25, in his mind. after i wrote my replies to my two previous posts, i read the sheet about his payments on this thi...

Diva · Diva

Being new to this whole world of alcoholism, I have many questions. I love a good, rousing discussion, so often write from the challenging side. Please remember that my A had 25 years sober, and slipped about 5 years ago. After two awful years, he got sober again, but has had two slips since then, each la...

sg · sg

One of my daycare moms dad passed away yesterday at 5:15 pm. Chronic drinker all his life. I have known this woman for years now and have watched every time he was in and out of rehab. Heard about all the times she had to call the ambulance because he would get so sick. I listened to her talk about when he went...

mizcathi · mizcathi

After 3 months of roller coaster emotions trying to make sense of my 27 y/o son's problems, I figure what I need is the help and experiences of other parent's in a similar struggle. My son moved back home 3 months ago to "start over", what he left out is that he's been having problems mentally and is...

sg · sg

I wanted to share this (came from the AA db)...It was so good that I wrote it down in my journal. Such wonderful, reassuring words to help w/recovery. Wait. If the time is not right, the way is not clear, the answer or decision not consistent, wait. We may feel a sense of urgency. We may w...

tullemars · tullemars

Well I let her know she can't stay and drink anymore. Now off to the legal stuff. my family has been torn in half. I am so tired. I have had enough pain. But i still have more to go. there are times that you have to endure the pain. But I will be stronger later on. character flaws being a car...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind. -- William Blake We seek the answer. Sometimes we think we have found a central truth and later learn that beneath it is another truth. Or what seemed so crucial as a guiding principle for our lives last y...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Perspective When our vision was clouded by self-will, our perspective was narrow and subjective. We saw people and events only as they fostered or frustrated our egotistical concerns. The world was a frightening place, since we thought that our welfare was entirely dependent on our own effor...

nycbt · nycbt

I feel very empty inside. I put my guard down and then something happens. I don't know what to do any more. I am at a stop right now that my trust is no more. I love my husband and I guess at this time I am not ready to leave. But it is hard to let my guard down knowing that he is going to turn around an take my car with...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Now what? (Preview) Well, I guess I too have had my fill. After he came stumbling in past 3 this morning, we had some words. Not a lot as I soon remembered I was getting sucked in. This morning I got ready to do some errands and asked him what his plans were the weekend, he said why? I said we need to tal...	marmare	5	471	Oct 3, 2005 by nycbt
	Boundaries (Preview) I have a problem setting up boundaries. My husband knows that an takes full advantage of it. Like he takes my car and I get angry and then that is it nothing happens after it. So I guess he knows that nothing will happen that is why he keeps doing it. But you know what it is very hard to argue with someone about...	nycbt	1	407	Oct 3, 2005 by marmare
	trying to *stuff me where i do not fit (Preview) Hope for Today - October 3 Have you ever had the opportunity to watchpreschoolers put together a puzzle? If a piece doesn'tfit immediately, they often push and shove to make itfit, making lots of sound effects along the way.This is how I lived most of my life. I never felt like I"fit" in my alcoholic f...	rosie light shines	1	466	Oct 3, 2005 by nmike
	FEAR (Preview) Fear controls me. I have a fear of my husband going out and getting drunk and or a dwi. I have a fear when he comes home we will fight. I have a fear of him leaving. I call him all the time in hope that he wouldn't get into any trouble. I know there is nothing I can do but the fear is still there. I have a fear when he w...	nycbt	1	441	Oct 3, 2005 by bcanuck
	a good NA message on faith (Preview) this is taken from "NA" which has some REAL good daily messages......to me addiction is addiction....whether its 80 proof or drugs or relationships or fear/hate/resentment/control....whatever.....so i rea...	rosie light shines	0	555	Oct 3, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Full steam ahead (Preview) We have court tomorrow. She will most likely be removed. I am doing it for myself and my kids. I need to have a life. I will love and be loved. I will be happy My kids will not sufferr alcoholism in the house anymore. I know we are on our way to alot of therapy. It is hard and pain...	tullemars	0	425	Oct 3, 2005 by tullemars
	NO BOTTOM (Preview) I have now realize I haven't reach my bottom, that is why I am putting up with this crap. I guess I think he will see the light and get help. I don't know why I put my self through all this stuff. Why I get so upset and physcial and mental drain when he takes my car. I feel my self losing it. I don't know what comes o...	nycbt	4	472	Oct 3, 2005 by nycbt
	a sign from god? (Preview) during the meeting today my a smoked some weed. when meeting was over (alanon online meeting) my a had a panic attack , he thought he was having a heart attack so i called 911. it is odd because he is only 22 but he did cocaine on friday so i thought it might be a possibility. anyways right before this occured...	notsonew1111	3	446	Oct 3, 2005 by UncleLou
	want step worksheets (Preview) the post that had the worksheet for step two was extremly helpful i thought i was passed that step but when i saw the worksheet it made me realise i wasn't. so i must go back. so please if anyone else has worksheets for other sheets please share. thank you	notsonew1111	4	8651	Oct 3, 2005 by sandie123
	Boundries (Preview) Letting go: the thing is you can't make a person be what they don't want to be you can't make them do what they don't want to do, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Acceptence: accepting a person as they are, accepting their belifes, values, likes and dislikes. Live and let live....	fitone	0	437	Oct 3, 2005 by fitone
	Listening to my HP (Preview) As many of you know I left my husband of 19 year two weeks ago. My children and I moved about 45 min. from our home. My husband and I have talked several times and Friday night we had dinner and a movie.. I got to see the man I love again. Saturday morning he ask me to bring the kids and come home. He has only bee...	Tammy	7	588	Oct 2, 2005 by debilyn
	2nd Guessing Myself (Preview) Hi Friends, Funny how one day you feel real strong, able to encourage others, and the next you question yourself? My husband is out of state hunting, should be back Tues or Wed. When he gets back he is moving into a house in town. I will admit that it's been nice and quiet around here, but...	Ratchie	2	483	Oct 2, 2005 by lin0606
	Well.... (Preview) The day has brought questions of my own choices. A counselor that worked at the treatment agency just emailed me and reinforced that I am right where I am supposed to be, that choices are made when they are supposed to be made if I didn't force things to happen but if they felt natural at the time. ...	marmare	3	469	Oct 2, 2005 by debilyn
	Please read this poem!! (Preview) Everytime I see you my heart skips a beat. I have this fealing that just takes over me. I dont know if its good or bad, I guess that its just me. Everytime I hear your voice I think of all the memories. I think of all the pain youve caused me and all the hurt ive felt. It really hurts to feal this pain because it...	princess433	5	471	Oct 2, 2005 by sandie123
	4th Step (Preview) When you work the steps & you read step 6, right there after four & all "moral inventory" seems like it is some kind of a negative thing. Having been on a road of truth and to fearlessly learn, realize & actualize how to love mys...	kitty	2	505	Oct 2, 2005 by cedarpines
	It still hurts..letter to my A (Preview) I don't post here usually, mostly because I'm new to all of this and am not sure where my head is at most of the time. Plus I guess I am keeping to myself most days now, although I'm not so sure it's good for my mind. Anyway, I (as usual) am confused about my expectations and thoughts. My husband and I have been...	hadit	7	610	Oct 2, 2005 by Jeannie
	Step 2 (Preview) I came into Al-Anon with an understanding that I could not change the alcoholics in my life. I felt anxious all the time and agreed that my life had become unmanageable. I've learned some things in Al-Anon already. Probably I will repeat these steps many times in the years to come....	WakingUp	7	544	Oct 2, 2005 by WakingUp
	guilt (Preview) I had a telephone confrontation with my A sister today.Our mother is 90 and between myself and my 2 A sisters we have to take her to doctors,get her groceries,etc.It is stressfull to begin with but then dealing with my sisters complicates matters.Today she started yelling at me and accusing me of not d...	Drucilla	1	438	Oct 2, 2005 by ragingchild
	looking for hopeful sponsor (Preview) hi everyone i've been in program for about three weeks and would like a sponsor to help me out and ensure successs with the program. i've asked a few but they don't feel like they're qualified. so please respond if you might be able to help. thx	notsonew1111	1	484	Oct 2, 2005 by abbyal
	scared (Preview) Hello roomies: Last night I had a great time with my A, he took me into NYC for dinner and then we went to a comedy show. We had a good time and talked a bit about things....now I feel so scared that I'm reverting back to old behaviors and not detaching because I've gotten close to him again. It has been easy...	Kim	4	510	Oct 2, 2005 by abbyal
	The Steps (Preview) I believe I am onto step 2, but not sure being so new at this and all. I know that I have no control over the alcohol my mom drank and the sex abuse at the hands of my step grandpa wasn't my fault either, that took me a while but I know that now. I also realize that my emotions and my way of thin...	ragingchild	3	425	Oct 2, 2005 by KathyS
	COPING with families (Preview) Coping with Families There are many paths to self-care with families. Some people choose to sever connections with family members for a period of time. Some people choose to stay connected with family members and learn different behaviors. Some disconnect for a time, and then return slowly on...	rosie light shines	0	437	Oct 2, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Xtra long share on DENIAL (Preview) Denial I've been recovering many years. I've used denial many times. It has been a defense, a survival device, a coping behavior, and, at times, almost my undoing. It has been both a friend and an enemy.When I was a child, I used denial to protect my family and myself. I protected myself from seeing...	rosie light shines	0	680	Oct 2, 2005 by rosie light shines
	This is Cute (Preview) >	kerry5	2	424	Oct 2, 2005 by lmt123
	My A has sunk even lower (Preview) As I mentioned yesterday afternoon I knew it was possible that yesterday I may have been put in hospital for a couple of days to get my electrolytes in order and my hubs had given me his "word" as a man, so to speak that he would be home for the kids, sober. ( as opposed to promises from him which mean nothing!...	Old Faithful	3	456	Oct 2, 2005 by bcanuck
	haxigonian XXXI (Preview) [[ room ]] I've come to an awakening of sorts... It seems to me Portland is a reverse-Cincinnati, if you will. The things I hated about Cincinnati are all far better here, so i'm stayin. I was so disgusted with some of the things I saw in mixed-gender meetings I wanted to qui...	haximon	4	624	Oct 2, 2005 by bcanuck
	he came tonight (Preview) hi guys i feel a little better with some new hope we met the deacon tonight. i wasn't sure he was going to show. he hugged me so tight. we were talking together for a while and then deacon said can you step outside for a minute. i did the deacon ripped him a new one. they were in there for over an ho...	chrissy	3	478	Oct 2, 2005 by Maggie0015
	"i CAN i CAN i CAN and i DO!!!!" (Preview) Hope for Today - October 2 I often heard, "You'll never amount anything.You'll end up barefoot and pregnant. Colleges don't except dummies like you." These statements wereimprinted on my mind and heart from a very earlyage while growing up with the chaotic, inconsistent,and abusive behavior of m...	rosie light shines	1	496	Oct 2, 2005 by sanddie
	Signing off for now. (Preview) Hello roomies, Just wanted to tell you that I'm probably not going to be on the board for a few days, maybe up to a week. I'm down with step throat and pink eye. I still have to go to work otherwise I'll loose my vacation for the following week. (Not to mention, the boss is on vacation starting tomorro...	Karilynn	7	555	Oct 2, 2005 by Tammy
	Doing things for myself (Preview) I had a job interview yesterday and I think it went well. At least I hope it went well. I also saw my doctor who refilled my medication. I started back on my Prozac a few days ago and keep telling myself that it will take a little time (4-6 weeks) to fully get i...	Powerless	2	408	Oct 2, 2005 by Powerless
	not Sure Where I am Going From Here (Preview) Well lately things haven't been going so great. I've been trying real hard.. going to f2f meetings, online meetings and chat, posting things and reading literature. I've been listening to everyone and trying to take it all in. I really felt that I was going somewhere but recently thing...	sandie123	4	446	Oct 1, 2005 by notsonew1111
	Need help letting go (Preview) I really need some help letting go. Its only been a month since the divorce, but I'm having a real tough time facing reality. I hate myself for still having these feelings for my ex. I'm sitting here crying over this. What a pathetic loser. I hate to admit that I still love her and want to be with her. Everyo...	UncleLou	12	657	Oct 1, 2005 by Ratchie
	I AM A WORTHWHILE COMPANION (Preview) I spend more time with myself than with anyone else. Wouldnt it make sense to put some energy into making that relationship as fulfulling as possible? Another person cannot prevent me from feeling lonely, but my inner emptiness can be satsified. I can come to value my own company! I am a worthwh...	gardengal	4	605	Oct 1, 2005 by gardengal
	Alanon Member Emotions VS Alcoholic Emotions (Preview) If we really think about it. When we continue to obsess, grow anxous and stay consumed in our fears aren't we really just mimicking the same emotions of our alcoholic significant other? We don't like their behavior, yet we have similar behavior when we are affected by them. So shouldn't we be focusing...	sanddie	12	651	Oct 1, 2005 by Ratchie
	Hope for a Saturday (Preview) Hi Everybody- Have been reading the board faithfully the past 6 weeks or so(prior to this i was only one to read or post during a "bad spell"). Posting if I think I've got something to say. Its so interesting, this life of ours. I've been in the crazy day postings and the confused day postings and the sad...	gknee	0	406	Oct 1, 2005 by gknee
	i am going crazy (Preview) i am going crazy i hate that he did this to us. i cant even talk to him at night. he came here last night i gave him so more of his stuff and he had to leave by 9:30 this is not a marriage it is a joke. we have no where to go so we hang out in a car. i am so trying to make the best of this but it hurts so much. i really d...	chrissy	4	557	Oct 1, 2005 by chrissy
	surviving CHANGE (Preview) MANAGING CHANGE by Pamela Brewer, MSW, Ph.D., LCSW-C Change is usually a scary thing. Change you choose and change you don’t choose can be equally scary. Join the human club. Human beings usually find themselves struggling with at least some anxiety when it comes to thinking about and dealing w...	rosie light shines	0	390	Oct 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Checkout this Prayer, Music, Meditation for Today (Preview) This is very soothing: www.goodtimes2.com/morningprayer.htm	wallsal55	0	403	Oct 1, 2005 by wallsal55
	Risks & Focus (Preview) "Risks and Focus" How good are you at focusing your attention? It is an extremely valuable skill, and I would like to talk about it today. As I talked about yesterday, if we are to grow and reach our full potential, it is absolutely necessary to take risks. By its very nature, risk impl...	Peggy7	2	550	Oct 1, 2005 by WakingUp
	being who i am (Preview) Be Who You Are In recovery, we're learning a new behavior. It's called Be Who You Are.For some of us, this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of ada...	rosie light shines	0	361	Oct 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	pain CAN be a friend (Preview) Not Just A Motivation For Growth "We learn that pain can be a motivating factor in recovery." Basic Text p.29 "Pain - who needs it!" we think whenever we're in it. We see no good purpose for pain. It seems to be a pointless exercise in suffering. If someone happens to mention spiritual growth to...	rosie light shines	0	590	Oct 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	I'm waiting for a plague of locusts (Preview) Well, tonight my A is not the problem. My tenants called to say that they are moving out which is money that I am very dependent on now that I am living alone. I am so upset b/c I had told them what was going on (somewhat) between my husband and I when it first happened and she assured me th...	Kim	3	429	Oct 1, 2005 by chrissy
	to all newbies (Preview) I have always been around police, FBI and missing person. Though work and at home. There are lots of sick people who prey on people feeling down. I think you should not put full names city and state, birthdate in your profile. Their is an edit profile line. It...	nikkilou	4	427	Oct 1, 2005 by Old Faithful
	New here on the board (Preview) I'm new here. I've been on the Adult Child board for a few days. I have an A mom. I don't know when it started, but I became aware of it around 14 years old. I am 24, I'll be 25 in Oct. She alienated me from my dad, so I never really knew him until after I married. My relations...	ragingchild	3	456	Sep 30, 2005 by jj
	I am feeling worse (Preview) Hi again people.. Ok.. Well I have to get a lawer so that I can stay in the school that I am in because the school district that I live in is really bad. Well anyway I think that ny grandparents will have to adopt me in order for me to stay in my school. When I heard that they might have to adopt me I felt kind o...	princess433	3	462	Sep 30, 2005 by leo
	Realizing (Preview) I have read so many posts in the last couple days and the ups and downs in my own life. I am starting to realize how selfish and self centered this disease is. Today I feel like I can't handle one more disappointment, one more broken promise, one more rude comment. I try to work m...	marmare	2	479	Sep 30, 2005 by Kim
	Whats next??? (Preview) This roller coaster is driving me totally crazy. I've been trying so hard to figure out what is next and where I am going. It seems like I read and go to meetings but where do I go next? It seems like the more I listen the more pain I feel lateley. What do I do with that pain? How do I get rid of the pain especial...	sandie123	4	445	Sep 30, 2005 by Jeannie
	Let him be miserable... (Preview) I realize that my A. has recently dried up and that he isn't in any position to give the family what we need right now. I kept this in mind tonight when I suggested to try to communicate w/his step son (my son). My A. got upset over something totally stupid...my son putting tobasco sauce on his turkey....	sg	4	578	Sep 30, 2005 by lin0606
	The insanity is driving me insane!!! (Preview) Hey all I really cannot describe how I feel right now because all of the emotions whirling through me. I guess I'm scared and tired and angry and I want to hide and run so bad. My husband has been awake since Saturday. He has also been driving back and forth to LA twice so I have not seen him...	browneyes	5	775	Sep 30, 2005 by roygbiv
	i am NOT a victim!!!! (Preview) Not a Victim You are not a victim. How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of vict...	rosie light shines	2	537	Sep 30, 2005 by lin0606
	I'm new here - feeling rotten (Preview) As with all of you I'm sure, the " whole story" would take a book, but I'll try to get to the point, which I'm not always good at. I've stopped by here occasionally before to read posts, but after last night, this morning I felt I just had to register so I could post. I've been married almost 14 years...	Old Faithful	12	747	Sep 30, 2005 by lin0606
	addition to my replies to my two previous posts (Preview) one more thought: if this $25 doesn't get paid tomorrow for this drivers license thing, and a warrant DOES got out for his arrest, it will be ALL my fault for not giving him the $25, in his mind. after i wrote my replies to my two previous posts, i read the sheet about his payments on this thi...	search41	1	464	Sep 30, 2005 by roygbiv
	You people are all so kind to put up with me. (Preview) Being new to this whole world of alcoholism, I have many questions. I love a good, rousing discussion, so often write from the challenging side. Please remember that my A had 25 years sober, and slipped about 5 years ago. After two awful years, he got sober again, but has had two slips since then, each la...	Diva	8	656	Sep 30, 2005 by roygbiv
	Angry at the disease (Preview) One of my daycare moms dad passed away yesterday at 5:15 pm. Chronic drinker all his life. I have known this woman for years now and have watched every time he was in and out of rehab. Heard about all the times she had to call the ambulance because he would get so sick. I listened to her talk about when he went...	sg	3	509	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	My adult son is an alcoholic, need support from other parents (Preview) After 3 months of roller coaster emotions trying to make sense of my 27 y/o son's problems, I figure what I need is the help and experiences of other parent's in a similar struggle. My son moved back home 3 months ago to "start over", what he left out is that he's been having problems mentally and is...	mizcathi	3	507	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	If the time is not right, Wait... (Preview) I wanted to share this (came from the AA db)...It was so good that I wrote it down in my journal. Such wonderful, reassuring words to help w/recovery. Wait. If the time is not right, the way is not clear, the answer or decision not consistent, wait. We may feel a sense of urgency. We may w...	sg	4	521	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	2 bad days (Preview) Well I let her know she can't stay and drink anymore. Now off to the legal stuff. my family has been torn in half. I am so tired. I have had enough pain. But i still have more to go. there are times that you have to endure the pain. But I will be stronger later on. character flaws being a car...	tullemars	4	530	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	being more flexible (Preview) *The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind. -- William Blake* We seek the answer. Sometimes we think we have found a central truth and later learn that beneath it is another truth. Or what seemed so crucial as a guiding principle for our lives last y...	rosie light shines	1	479	Sep 30, 2005 by captcodee
	perspective (Preview) Perspective When our vision was clouded by self-will, our perspective was narrow and subjective. We saw people and events only as they fostered or frustrated our egotistical concerns. The world was a frightening place, since we thought that our welfare was entirely dependent on our own effor...	rosie light shines	0	357	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	FEEL EMPTY (Preview) I feel very empty inside. I put my guard down and then something happens. I don't know what to do any more. I am at a stop right now that my trust is no more. I love my husband and I guess at this time I am not ready to leave. But it is hard to let my guard down knowing that he is going to turn around an take my car with...	nycbt	5	536	Sep 30, 2005 by marmare
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.