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Thank you + Incredible outcome
(Preview)
I brought all of my MIP family support, my support from my HP, and my alanon toolkit to my Dad's funeral yesterday. For years, I had imagined this moment as being a tortuous culmination of years of being a family scapegoat. What actually happened was none of that. This is another life lesson in my kee...
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bud
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6
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690
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tomorrow
(Preview)
Tomorrow is Dad's funeral. That alone is overwhelming. My sister's stirring of the pot may have re-severed the precarious relationship with my Aunt and Uncle. It was her fabricated tales that drove them to be angry with me and history could have repeated. I know that if that's all it took for my Aun...
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bud
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11
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683
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just a quote to make us think
(Preview)
A quote from Iman David Bowie's widow: Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory. Food for thought. I thought it might be needed. Happy Monday!
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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520
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Seeing my part
(Preview)
I had an ah moment yesterday. I was talking to my AFB on the phone and the conversation was happy and full of laughter. It was positive until I mentioned my daughter and her struggles. My daughter has mental health issues and lives with me and is really having a hard time with isolation, lack of motivatio...
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joker
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4
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672
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Lying and I feel like a total fool
(Preview)
Well, I just found out my AH has not been sober since April. He's been lying and hiding it and stupid me fell for it. I found the 2 little bottles hidden yesterday, confronted him and he admitted to it. He had no choice. I feel like such a fool. Nothing is going right for us which I know is contributing to his...
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JL969803
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8
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696
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The disease keeps marching on...both sides of it.
(Preview)
I spent some time at a clients home this afternoon that my eldest son also is doing some work for. I was no surprise that the client told me that he had learned stuff from my son about alcoholism in that my son admits to not being comfortable or in line with his new woman friends drinking. He has started...
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Jerry F
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6
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523
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Just want to escape
(Preview)
Do you ever feel this way?
The constant repetition of our A's bad decisions are so wearing (despite trying to use all the tools of AlAnon).
Detaching with love and Letting go are "mental and emotional" escapes....distancing oneself from the turmoil of the A's life......
But wouldn't...
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lgnutah
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19
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949
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Afraid, Sick, Stressed, Broke, and Broken
(Preview)
5 years ago I didn't know what a functioning alcoholic was. I learned after my husband retired and became a non functioning alcoholic. No reason here to go into to much detail as most of you will already know, but, here's a little background of the past 5 years. We went from a nice nest egg to over 100k in d...
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whoknows
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15
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872
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conversations with the alcoholic
(Preview)
I had to share this as I am seeing growth in myself. I talked with alcoholic bf yesterday and he was nice and kind toward me. I was as well. I had to laugh as he said I have done so much since I got sober. He has been sober only 3 months. He has made progress in the last year and a half. He has got himself a vehicle, g...
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joker
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4
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663
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Hugs and support
(Preview)
Hi dear MIP family, I'm writing from a hotel room. I received word that my dad passed last night and so I drove a few hours to say my good byes. I collected a few momentos and my daughter who lives too far to be with me secured a room so I didn't have to drive home . My mom passed last year, the day after Xmas. ...
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bud
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18
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810
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Life is good FOR TODAY
(Preview)
I just thought I would share a little update on my life. At this time, my life has settled down considerably. I am attending weekly al-anon meetings, an online group, and this board, all which have helped me immensely. Right now AD is in treatment with a plan to enter into recovery home following. T...
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serenity47
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3
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515
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The time has come
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone The time has come to put everything I've learned to the test. My son will be released next month and I have decided to help him get started with a hand and love but I promised myself I will never again engage in his business. He has done well for himself in prison. He's a Per Counse...
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Cathyinaz
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14
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791
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Courage to Change 1-18-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 18 speaks about keeping the focus on ourselves because by so doing we will discover the best way we can help an alcoholic. The reading suggests that by keeping the focus on ourselves, we are not motivated to try to change someone else's behavior and to do for others what the...
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hotrod
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5
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718
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Verbally abusive alcoholic!!! Please help!!
(Preview)
I am new here and new to Al-Anon. It is about time I seek help for myself! Thank you to anyone who is reading this! I am married to an alcoholic, a daily drinker, and weekend sports watcher/total drunk. On the weekends my husband watches sports with our son, and proceeds to get wasted, becoming then l...
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Inga
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26
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1440
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In a fog don't know what to do
(Preview)
The past few days I have just distanced myself completely tryin to be as nice as I can but I can't shake this feeling of just emptiness. Two weeks ago huge discussion between me and my A boyfriend he pretty much told me we were two different people now, that the person I fell in love with was not who he should...
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Mylife16
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16
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882
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Struggling with Alcoholic Ex
(Preview)
Had a really tough day today with my ex. I've been out of the house for about 3 weeks, and she has really been working on staying sober (and she has) and attending more meetings and using her support system, which is great. She has been holding out hope that I will "try to make it work" with her af...
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Heisenberg
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8
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752
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A little frustrated at the moment
(Preview)
Which is causing me BIG issues as far as acting out. I have actually been REALLY good considering what has been going on. I am currently dealing with a work situation that involves someone I really like as a person however as a co-worker they are completely toxic. I don't use that term lightly. This w...
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SerenityRUS
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5
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693
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Courage to Change Reading 1-17-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 17 speaks about our interactions with the alcoholic and how irrational and unreasonable, we can become. It points out that because of the built up anxiety and irrational fear generated within us by living with this disease, many times we are the ones who act out, and ru...
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hotrod
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2
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770
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Courage to Change Reading 1-16-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 16 speaks about "reacting" to situations. It points out that when a thought enters our mind we often feel that we automatically MUST speak kit. I know I though T that I had a very powerful mind as I could react instantly to any argument or situation without think...
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hotrod
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3
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754
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How to stay connected
(Preview)
can someone offer suggestions on how to stay connected with an alcoholic when they don't want to talk? i still worry.
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Themoon
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9
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609
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The hardships of trying to make marriage work with an alcoholic spouse
(Preview)
Hi Fam! I have been here reading but haven't responded in a while. I was feeling incredibly sorry for myself and had myself in a lovely, (not really) deep hole of despair. thankfully I feel as if I am climbing back out. I have been reading my Al Anon literature and lately "giving back" has real...
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Fairlee
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12
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890
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Mini-Meltdowns
(Preview)
Life is not all sunny here. About 2xs a week I have these meltdowns. I get anxious,depressed,cry alot and generally have a pity party. Last night I had a big meltdown. Ihad been looking at 30+ yrs of my diaries. I realized that I keep ending up in the same types of relationships. I keep making similar mist...
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YARNCRAZY
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5
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625
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Unable to follow through
(Preview)
I was to meet with a lawyer regarding my house situation but I have been to sick to do it. Found out I have another infection raging in my stomach and I am now back on another dose of antibiotics and I am in pain and very, very tired. I am to see an internal specialist tomorrow as they found something in my urin...
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joker
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4
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432
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A 73 year old depression...
(Preview)
That is what my mind came up with last evening as I sought sleep and didn't get it right away. Why not? I am inundated with the negativity I was born into within my alcoholic/addict family. I remember my earliest thought being "I don't want to be here" and that was just before the doctor sl...
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Jerry F
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8
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542
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Courage to Change 1-15-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 15 talks about the slogan,"One Day at a Time. It suggests that in spite of our fear and anxiety we don't know what tomorrow may bring. . Leaping into the future by projecting negatively is a very destructive habit . This is is a tool that many of us have tried bec...
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hotrod
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3
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516
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Step 1
(Preview)
Step 1 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your thoughts. You will have to re register on t...
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hotrod
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4
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681
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Grief - Before and After
(Preview)
I attended my weekly F2F Al-Anon meeting today and someone who shared touched on an Al-Anon book they were reading that dealt with loss. The person sharing has recently lost their spouse to alcoholism, but the sharer said that in the book on loss they speak of how the feelings of grief and loss begin fa...
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Bethany66
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10
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854
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how to find if i am talking to myself unconciously
(Preview)
so I know this sounds crazy but people have commented on it so like at work the boss was like the ...(main task) girl has a great attitude is a great worker but is always ranting. I swear she was talking about me since I know I am the only one who does that task and I do have those two good qualities. And so somet...
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chchsteak
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2
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1676
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Courage to Change 1-14-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 14 speaks about being powerless over alcoholism. It points out that others in the fellowship have tried and failed as well so that as we look around we will see that they are happy and willing to accept this reality. By letting go of the battle that we are sure to lose, we b...
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hotrod
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2
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537
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GRATEFUl
(Preview)
I didnt have any shoes and I was always complaining about not having shoes, until I met someone who had no feet! If you can be grateful, you will find the secret of happiness. Try it. Linsc
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LinSC
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3
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337
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C2C Reading for 1-13-2016
(Preview)
Hi I printed the wrong reading from the C2C for today as I loked yesterday's page by mistake I am sorry. The C2C reading for January 13 talk about spiritual freedom, and Al-Anon. It suggests that we are encouraged to find our own understanding of God and to allow others the same freedom because until we...
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hotrod
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2
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528
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New and tired
(Preview)
I am an adult child of an alcoholic (now recovering) and am in a 4yr relationship with an alcoholic. I tagged in in a previous post but I am starting a new topic on my own to get all the help I can.
I am planning on attending Al-Anon meetings here in my area and online as of this morning. I have watched my AB st...
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Marie18
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15
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753
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i didn't know it would bother me..
(Preview)
Here I am in situation that I have no or little control of. I am in the middle looking out. My group us changing the day we meet. Not a problem looking from the outside. But I wasn't informed of a permanent change. I guess I can meet on a different day. I have been praying about going to something else but I kno...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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440
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seeing the light
(Preview)
I have been reading about detachment on the board here and its helping me so much. I had a good laugh today, the first one in awhile. Talked to ABF this morning and he has "another plan-buy oil stalks." This time, I responded with that is a good idea and went on to talk about something else. I did...
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joker
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5
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537
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Have Courage!!
(Preview)
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Debb
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4
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443
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COURAGE TO CHANGE 1-12-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 12 speaks about the wonderful tool of "Detachment".It offers a profound example of "detachment": for me to think about . It suggests picturing a person walking along and seeing an active beehive buzzing intently/ If the person stops and p...
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hotrod
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3
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896
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Will it ever be clear?
(Preview)
I just got back last week from my holiday with my family back east. It was very nice to have time with both my mom and my sister. I came back hoping for some sort of breakthrough as to if I want to stay with my ABF or not. Needless to say no answers where clear. What is clear is that on returning from our time apar...
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ItsAllAboutMeMC
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5
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627
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Need Help
(Preview)
It's been a while since I've logged on, but am always grateful for my MIP family. I'm still having difficulty extricating myself from my AexH and his AW and am wondering if someone can direct me where to go for help in my community. For those that don't know me, I've been divorced since 2006, but get dra...
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bud
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8
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574
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It's been a year. . .
(Preview)
Last January I came here and posted when I realized my ABF was drinking again. I posted once, and I lurked in the shadows from that point on reading occasionally. I'm not sure if I wasn't ready to face the addiction issue head on, or if I wasn't ready to take on the work I needed to do in myself, maybe a little...
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NayNay
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9
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568
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Oh my goodness relization
(Preview)
I just had an ahh moment. My alcoholic Bf is playing me a like puppet. He says this and I say that, he says this, and i react with oh what about me, he say this and I go what about me, and then I says I hates his life here, and all I do is work, work and blaa, and I react with words of feeling sorry for him and wanting...
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joker
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3
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527
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Stressed
(Preview)
A few days ago my A made some really bad decisions (so what else is new?) which resulted in a very dangerous situation where she could have been seriously victimized or even killed.
Actually, for a couple days before this, I knew she was moving into dangerous territory (it starts with binging, then s...
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lgnutah
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2
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312
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Lost a friend need advice
(Preview)
I am brand new to al Anon have only been to two meeting go to my third tomorrow. My boyfriend is in AA and recently lost three people within the last week. Two he knew the third he knew a little better. He is not handling it like a normal sober person does I guess. what I don't understand is that he hasnt spoken...
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Mylife16
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6
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782
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Hope for Today 1/12
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Today's reading begins with the personification of alcoholism- as a thief. It is such a powerful image- a force that has the ability to rob us of the people we love, take physical safety from us, jobs. It may even steal someone's life. We have hope and faith that there is anoth...
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yanksfan51
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2
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510
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Courage to Change 1-10-2016-
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 10th speaks about the many hours we have sacrificed living in worry and fear. The reading points out that once we open the Pandora's box of worry and relentless self-criticism, the more we lose our foothold in reality. Then nothing useful can be accomplished.In order to br...
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hotrod
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6
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724
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anxious today
(Preview)
got up today with stuff i need to do but feel anxious. i have suffered from anxiety,panic attacks,agoraphobia since i was 17,im 58 now. since then i am on my own, i have to deal with this. I sometimes revert to these old tapes of feeling im imposing on people or im not good enough. like i have to leave for 4hr...
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YARNCRAZY
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5
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583
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Serenity.. Where are you????
(Preview)
So I turned off the magic $$$ supply for my husband...who is mostly sober, but as of late, not always. He has cirrhosis/end stage liver disease. He is not able to work. When I turned off the money fountain, which was big deal he had no money no job I have money and good job.. he decided to start selling expen...
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ShellyM
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4
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611
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unreal what an alcoholic will say
(Preview)
Just wanted to provide an update. Since the abf had the talk with me last week, he seems to have changed his tune again. Yesterday, he said to me, don't worry about anything, everything is good. I just said ok and did not respond any further. Since we had the talk and he did says me and my daughter should fin...
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joker
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5
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623
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Courage to Change Reading 1-11-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 11 speaks about joining Al-Anon family groups and by dong so having finally" found a second family". In his new family we are accepted, just as we are. We don't have to pretend or wear a mask over our feelings. We can speak freely and know that our words will not lea...
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hotrod
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4
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708
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Help me think through healthy boundaries
(Preview)
Hello, I'm new to this group and just starting my alanon journey. Thank you for helping me sift through my thoughts and feelings. My husband is an alcoholic and though he has been dry for long stretches he has a lot of denial and does not want any kind of formal treatment or support in staying sober long te...
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Taraxacum
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13
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860
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miracles do happen... just saying.😊
(Preview)
I am proof that miracles happen. I was so lost & didn't even know it. Whenever I use the program for solutions to my problems, I am in tune to the blessings that often occur w o me always being aware. It is funny how all I have to do is open my eyes to see what is in front of me. So, I don't have to struggle as mu...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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620
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quick update
(Preview)
I found a lawyer for the house. I will be making an appointment next week to deal with the house. I will be doing what I can to protect me right now. I will be nice to BF, kind, but I will no longer be there for him anymore. Like I was told, let lawyer know, he had given you a lifestyle and money, which he deposit...
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joker
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4
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621
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There are days and there are days .. lol
(Preview)
You know I keep thinking I wonder if I'm going to win this mondo jackpot that is brewing based upon the financial craziness that is going on in my life. It's not awful .. it's not great however it could always be better. So I was suppose to get an automatic deposit to my checking account this week. For so...
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SerenityRUS
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8
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661
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what a week it has been
(Preview)
This has been a week to remember after both of my program friends have had surgery on the same day. They are both recovering pretty well...It takes time. One had cataract surgery & the other had a hysterectomy. I am grateful to call them both friends & I love them dearly. So, I have to wait for my c...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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592
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todai i overdid alanon
(Preview)
today, i think i stretched the technique of 'say what u mean and mean what u say' . Guypal is coming over and i was real shoert with him and im going to apologize as soon as he gets here. Not to get too detailed, being stronger now makes me brutally honest, more so than i ever was. I see my value[ despite my prob...
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YARNCRAZY
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4
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630
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breaking up with alcoholic after relapse - any hope?
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I have been dating an alcoholic for five years, living together for about a year and a half. He went to rehab briefly in 2013 - only ten days. Got a DUI in fall of 2014 and spent December 2014 in rehab. For 2015, he was completely sober. Attended AA and a separate therapist, and everything was g...
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clhiod
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9
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2998
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reality is painful
(Preview)
My abf is still sober, 3 months and not working a program as he works in camp and all he does is work and sleep for up to 3 weeks at a time and then off work for 3 days and then back at work again. Since he got sober, its been a roller coaster. One day he has this plan, next day its this plan, and this plan. It constan...
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joker
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3
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621
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Courage to Change Reading 1-9-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for January 9. talk about our usual habit of looking outside of ourselves for approval. It points out that our projects may be very successful.but we do not feel good about anything unless it is acknowledged by others. It suggests that everyone does need an occasional pat on the ba...
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hotrod
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3
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1999
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This isn't new for us as we discuss it often...
(Preview)
However just for the day I am putting myself on a prayer list as necessary. The hotel my wife and I work at is closing shop at the end of the month and for the minute we don't have an idea "what's next"?? Its too early I know as we are still in the hotel mode and affected by the bad economy too. H...
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Jerry F
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14
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680
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It is what it is.
(Preview)
My stupid broken foot is becoming a depressing reality rather than a novel reason to say"OMG can you believe this annoying thing that's happened?". I missed my first week of summer school due to not being able to walk. I'm less than thrilled about that. I haven't yet allowed myself to cons...
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missmeliss
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4
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675
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Oh the guilt!!!! What is wrong with me?!
(Preview)
So, I moved myself and my two daughters out of our home 4 weeks ago and peace beyond all understanding came rushing over the 3 of us! That was until my AH decided to dry out and sober up. When he is sober he is spot on husband and father whom I dearly love! But, now that he's been sober without the help of AA for 2...
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savannah7070
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10
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660
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