The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
5 years ago I didn't know what a functioning alcoholic was. I learned after my husband retired and became a non functioning alcoholic. No reason here to go into to much detail as most of you will already know, but, here's a little background of the past 5 years. We went from a nice nest egg to over 100k in debt, wrecked vehicle in blackout, BUI, increasing temper and anger when drunk, home and property neglected and or abused, relationships horribly damaged, etc. The withdrawal seizures started when he sobered up for a couple of days. Two months ago he was in ICU for a week from 3 seizures in a row and alcohol withdrawal. 1 day out of hospital he was drinking again. Now, first times ever, in jail for domestic assault (only pushed me a couple of different times) breaking no contact order, and of course the no alcohol order. I am a 50 year old homemaker and can't seem to find a job. Trying my best to get him into rehab, only chance I see of him ever making it. Utilities are about to start being cut off, have enough to feed dogs and cat for 3 more weeks, closest meeting is over 20 miles and gas tank is almost empty. His family and a few friends are mad at me for calling the cops, they don't want the party to be over I guess, or denial, I don't know. I am at a loss and feeling totally lost in all this.
(((whoknows))) - welcome to MIP. So sorry for that which brought you here. Glad you found us and your courage to share.
We have 2 meetings here each day - check the top left for the times and a link to the room. This will give you some relief perhaps while you are learning more about the disease. It's powerful and progressive and affects all of us well beyond the drinker.
We focus on one day at a time and try to stay present in the moment. I am hopeful that by joining us, you have already found some peace.
You are not alone - keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Welcome whoknows I can so identify with your log on name "No one knows". Certainly I did not and neither did my family know about the disease of alcoholism until we have lived with the insanity. I can identify with the loss of income the anger and pain that you have endured. Alcoholism is a dreadful chronic progressive disease that can be arrested but never cured.
It is at Alanon meetings where I learned to accept support from others who understood as few others could.
Please attempt to attend and keep coming back There is hope
Welcome to the boards. You should find a lot of support on these boards. I just wanted to say that I am praying for you and your AH. Keeping coming back and sending you many prayers.
Hugs to you! In addition to Alanon, may I suggest also contacting the domestic violence hotline in your area. They might know of resources to help you through this transition.
When i reached bottom i asked for support that
I so desperately needed. I could no longer go it
Alone or i would have gone insane. Its a hard step
To say i need help i have no where else to turn.
Alanon meetings probably have someone who
could Pick you up on the way so you could attend.
You could even call the 1 800 number and ask.
I relate and when I finally found the doors of Al-Anon I had to admit that I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know however in the rooms of Al-Anon "we come to understand" and the understanding is majestic and a miracle ...in progress also. Welcome to the board. Come back often and check into the twice daily online meetings. The information is on the face page of this board. ((((hugs))))
I just wanted to welcome you. I hope you'll keep coming back for recovery with us. As Jerry suggested there are online meetings at this website. Although the meetings are not "real" Alanon meetings, you may find them worthwhile. There is a meeting expressly for those who are new to the Alanon program which is held on Saturday evenings. Please come to any of the posted Alanon meetings here. You are guaranteed a warm welcome and support. What you are going through is not unique to us. We understand about living with alcoholism and are learning to take care of ourselves. ((hugs)) TT
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Gosh, you poor thing! This is horrible! I've been there, having utilities shut off, yet husband always manages to buy his booze. Do you have anyone you could live with??? I'd get the h away from that disfunction if you could!!!! Your husband is totally messed up. Don't let him drag you down in the gutter with him!!!!!
Thank you all. I am learning a lot from this site and everyone's words. I'm afraid I'm going to have to figure out gas money and copay to see a doc. Having what I guess is panic attacks and not doing very good. Can't find a job, pay bills, almost 51 years old and for the first time in my life had to get on food stamps last week. I know it will get better, someday, trying to just focus on today, can't seem to break out of this fog of fear? depression? worthlessness?
who knowsI hear you regarding the negative messages that you are telling yourself. It is good that you are hearing them so that you can interrupt the cycle and instead validate your assets and the good within . These negative voices I refer to as" ANTS"- automatic negative voices and I spray them daily with the serenity prayer, reading alanon literature and meetings.
Great that have applied for food stamps . There is non shame in accepting assistance because It is there just for the reason that you had a need to call on it. You have paid into the system so that you can draw on it in difficult times. Medicaid should be able to help with medical bills. Keep coming back as recovery is a process and learning to take care of ourselves a great gift
Welcome who knows. It does sound like a lot you are dealing with right now. Keep coming back here and if there is any way in e future you can make it to a F2F meeting, try to get there...it's a wonderful way to not be so isolated. Glad you are here!
Whoknows - I just wanted to welcome you... what an incredibly brave thing you've done by reaching out and posting here. It's difficult at first, but I want to assure you that you're in the right place with people who can relate and provide their experience and their strength on the days that you may not feel you have any.
One way to think about your "job" is to take this new path one day and one step at a time... your "supervisor" is a power higher than yourself (HP / God as you understand Him/ Her) and your "co-workers" are here with you. The payoff is incredible but not instantaneous (like Powerball). It is however Power-ful and you're worth it. Lastly, you're absolutely right - it will get better with time and experience and the tools of this program.
How are you today my dear? Food Stamps is not so bad for the time being. I am thinking of doing the same as my h is taking out his anger on me and not giving me the alloted food money. All in all, it's so very hard, life is. Remember to do something nice for yourself each day! I am awe struck with how much everyone knows here and the wisdom shown. We are all learning.
I will be praying for you.
