The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for January 17 speaks about our interactions with the alcoholic and how irrational and unreasonable, we can become. It points out that because of the built up anxiety and irrational fear generated within us by living with this disease, many times we are the ones who act out, and run about searching the bars, making scenes in public and became hysterical over little things.
We were also the one who agonized over the alcoholic's behavior, lied to make apologies and excuses and resented everything we were doing. This way of living was insane
Al-Anon was the first place. I have questioned my own sanity and behavior. We discover that we cannot overcome the effects of this disease, by force of will or reason. We can feel more secure and serene and rational in an Al-Anon meeting, so if we turn here for help and to my Higher Power, we will gain recovery.
Sometimes, we can still be irrational but we can no longer blame our behavior on anyone else. When I'm ready to find sanity once more I can return to the Al-Anon rooms, and HP.
The reminder today stresses that we have to focus on our own behavior and accept the fact my behavior could stand some improvement, so I will ask HP for help.
The quote is from an ancient Chinese proverb; ""if we do not change our direction we are likely to end where we are headed."
Thank you Betty for the daily and your ESH (+ your service). The quote reminds me of that saying, No Matter Where You Go, There You Are. The program tells me that if I want a different outcome, I need to take different action. My recovery is dependent on changing me, and keeping the focus on me. When I begin to look beyond me, I end up either discontent or disturbed about things that are beyond my control.
I sometimes marvel at the things I did in the name of 'love'. And, when things fell apart, how I so wanted to blame the qualifier(s) vs. the disease or even myself for my parts. My willingness to think differently has helped me to be different. At times, it feels strange 'growing up in public' or not reacting/defending but mostly it feels peaceful.
So grateful to have found this program and for HP's never-ending guidance. Striving each day to be different and do different becomes a habit or pattern that gives me much less stress and much more peace of mind/heart.
Make it a great day Betty!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Reading this passage today was very timely for me. I was just wondering 30 minutes ago why it is so easy for me to fall back into the trap of insanity! Then I read this and remembered! It takes work every day, hour, minute...as soon as I start taking my eyes off of my own issues and start looking at those of the A, bam! I'm right back to the insanity and acting insane. I'm glad, because of Al Anon, that I can at least recognize this before it goes too far (hopefully). I honestly was about to angrily text my AH and tell him " have fun getting drunk this afternoon. I saw that you took off in the opposite direction of where you were supposed to be going and instead were headed to the local convenience store" thank goodness a little alarm went off in my head and said "mind your own business - your stepping out your program, get the focus back on you" Ahhh this program is a life saver :) thank you for sharing this!
