Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Coping with Families There are many paths to self-care with families. Some people choose to sever connections with family members for a period of time. Some people choose to stay connected with family members and learn different behaviors. Some disconnect for a time, and then return slowly on...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Denial I've been recovering many years. I've used denial many times. It has been a defense, a survival device, a coping behavior, and, at times, almost my undoing. It has been both a friend and an enemy.When I was a child, I used denial to protect my family and myself. I protected myself from seeing...

kerry5 · kerry5

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Old Faithful · Old Faithful

As I mentioned yesterday afternoon I knew it was possible that yesterday I may have been put in hospital for a couple of days to get my electrolytes in order and my hubs had given me his "word" as a man, so to speak that he would be home for the kids, sober. ( as opposed to promises from him which mean nothing!...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I've come to an awakening of sorts... It seems to me Portland is a reverse-Cincinnati, if you will. The things I hated about Cincinnati are all far better here, so i'm stayin. I was so disgusted with some of the things I saw in mixed-gender meetings I wanted to qui...

chrissy · chrissy

hi guys i feel a little better with some new hope we met the deacon tonight. i wasn't sure he was going to show. he hugged me so tight. we were talking together for a while and then deacon said can you step outside for a minute. i did the deacon ripped him a new one. they were in there for over an ho...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - October 2 I often heard, "You'll never amount anything.You'll end up barefoot and pregnant. Colleges don't except dummies like you." These statements wereimprinted on my mind and heart from a very earlyage while growing up with the chaotic, inconsistent,and abusive behavior of m...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hello roomies, Just wanted to tell you that I'm probably not going to be on the board for a few days, maybe up to a week. I'm down with step throat and pink eye. I still have to go to work otherwise I'll loose my vacation for the following week. (Not to mention, the boss is on vacation starting tomorro...

Powerless · Powerless

I had a job interview yesterday and I think it went well. At least I hope it went well. I also saw my doctor who refilled my medication. I started back on my Prozac a few days ago and keep telling myself that it will take a little time (4-6 weeks) to fully get i...

sandie123 · sandie123

Well lately things haven't been going so great. I've been trying real hard.. going to f2f meetings, online meetings and chat, posting things and reading literature. I've been listening to everyone and trying to take it all in. I really felt that I was going somewhere but recently thing...

UncleLou · UncleLou

I really need some help letting go. Its only been a month since the divorce, but I'm having a real tough time facing reality. I hate myself for still having these feelings for my ex. I'm sitting here crying over this. What a pathetic loser. I hate to admit that I still love her and want to be with her. Everyo...

gardengal · gardengal

I spend more time with myself than with anyone else. Wouldnt it make sense to put some energy into making that relationship as fulfulling as possible? Another person cannot prevent me from feeling lonely, but my inner emptiness can be satsified. I can come to value my own company! I am a worthwh...

sanddie · sanddie

If we really think about it. When we continue to obsess, grow anxous and stay consumed in our fears aren't we really just mimicking the same emotions of our alcoholic significant other? We don't like their behavior, yet we have similar behavior when we are affected by them. So shouldn't we be focusing...

gknee · gknee

Hi Everybody- Have been reading the board faithfully the past 6 weeks or so(prior to this i was only one to read or post during a "bad spell"). Posting if I think I've got something to say. Its so interesting, this life of ours. I've been in the crazy day postings and the confused day postings and the sad...

chrissy · chrissy

i am going crazy i hate that he did this to us. i cant even talk to him at night. he came here last night i gave him so more of his stuff and he had to leave by 9:30 this is not a marriage it is a joke. we have no where to go so we hang out in a car. i am so trying to make the best of this but it hurts so much. i really d...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

MANAGING CHANGE by Pamela Brewer, MSW, Ph.D., LCSW-C Change is usually a scary thing. Change you choose and change you don’t choose can be equally scary. Join the human club. Human beings usually find themselves struggling with at least some anxiety when it comes to thinking about and dealing w...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

This is very soothing: www.goodtimes2.com/morningprayer.htm

Peggy7 · Peggy7

"Risks and Focus" How good are you at focusing your attention? It is an extremely valuable skill, and I would like to talk about it today. As I talked about yesterday, if we are to grow and reach our full potential, it is absolutely necessary to take risks. By its very nature, risk impl...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Be Who You Are In recovery, we're learning a new behavior. It's called Be Who You Are.For some of us, this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of ada...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Not Just A Motivation For Growth "We learn that pain can be a motivating factor in recovery." Basic Text p.29 "Pain - who needs it!" we think whenever we're in it. We see no good purpose for pain. It seems to be a pointless exercise in suffering. If someone happens to mention spiritual growth to...

Kim · Kim

Well, tonight my A is not the problem. My tenants called to say that they are moving out which is money that I am very dependent on now that I am living alone. I am so upset b/c I had told them what was going on (somewhat) between my husband and I when it first happened and she assured me th...

nikkilou · nikkilou

I have always been around police, FBI and missing person. Though work and at home. There are lots of sick people who prey on people feeling down. I think you should not put full names city and state, birthdate in your profile. Their is an edit profile line. It...

ragingchild · ragingchild

I'm new here. I've been on the Adult Child board for a few days. I have an A mom. I don't know when it started, but I became aware of it around 14 years old. I am 24, I'll be 25 in Oct. She alienated me from my dad, so I never really knew him until after I married. My relations...

princess433 · princess433

Hi again people.. Ok.. Well I have to get a lawer so that I can stay in the school that I am in because the school district that I live in is really bad. Well anyway I think that ny grandparents will have to adopt me in order for me to stay in my school. When I heard that they might have to adopt me I felt kind o...

marmare · marmare

I have read so many posts in the last couple days and the ups and downs in my own life. I am starting to realize how selfish and self centered this disease is. Today I feel like I can't handle one more disappointment, one more broken promise, one more rude comment. I try to work m...

sandie123 · sandie123

This roller coaster is driving me totally crazy. I've been trying so hard to figure out what is next and where I am going. It seems like I read and go to meetings but where do I go next? It seems like the more I listen the more pain I feel lateley. What do I do with that pain? How do I get rid of the pain especial...

sg · sg

I realize that my A. has recently dried up and that he isn't in any position to give the family what we need right now. I kept this in mind tonight when I suggested to try to communicate w/his step son (my son). My A. got upset over something totally stupid...my son putting tobasco sauce on his turkey....

browneyes · browneyes

Hey all I really cannot describe how I feel right now because all of the emotions whirling through me. I guess I'm scared and tired and angry and I want to hide and run so bad. My husband has been awake since Saturday. He has also been driving back and forth to LA twice so I have not seen him...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Not a Victim You are not a victim. How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of vict...

Old Faithful · Old Faithful

As with all of you I'm sure, the " whole story" would take a book, but I'll try to get to the point, which I'm not always good at. I've stopped by here occasionally before to read posts, but after last night, this morning I felt I just had to register so I could post. I've been married almost 14 years...

search41 · search41

one more thought: if this $25 doesn't get paid tomorrow for this drivers license thing, and a warrant DOES got out for his arrest, it will be ALL my fault for not giving him the $25, in his mind. after i wrote my replies to my two previous posts, i read the sheet about his payments on this thi...

Diva · Diva

Being new to this whole world of alcoholism, I have many questions. I love a good, rousing discussion, so often write from the challenging side. Please remember that my A had 25 years sober, and slipped about 5 years ago. After two awful years, he got sober again, but has had two slips since then, each la...

sg · sg

One of my daycare moms dad passed away yesterday at 5:15 pm. Chronic drinker all his life. I have known this woman for years now and have watched every time he was in and out of rehab. Heard about all the times she had to call the ambulance because he would get so sick. I listened to her talk about when he went...

mizcathi · mizcathi

After 3 months of roller coaster emotions trying to make sense of my 27 y/o son's problems, I figure what I need is the help and experiences of other parent's in a similar struggle. My son moved back home 3 months ago to "start over", what he left out is that he's been having problems mentally and is...

sg · sg

I wanted to share this (came from the AA db)...It was so good that I wrote it down in my journal. Such wonderful, reassuring words to help w/recovery. Wait. If the time is not right, the way is not clear, the answer or decision not consistent, wait. We may feel a sense of urgency. We may w...

tullemars · tullemars

Well I let her know she can't stay and drink anymore. Now off to the legal stuff. my family has been torn in half. I am so tired. I have had enough pain. But i still have more to go. there are times that you have to endure the pain. But I will be stronger later on. character flaws being a car...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind. -- William Blake We seek the answer. Sometimes we think we have found a central truth and later learn that beneath it is another truth. Or what seemed so crucial as a guiding principle for our lives last y...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Perspective When our vision was clouded by self-will, our perspective was narrow and subjective. We saw people and events only as they fostered or frustrated our egotistical concerns. The world was a frightening place, since we thought that our welfare was entirely dependent on our own effor...

nycbt · nycbt

I feel very empty inside. I put my guard down and then something happens. I don't know what to do any more. I am at a stop right now that my trust is no more. I love my husband and I guess at this time I am not ready to leave. But it is hard to let my guard down knowing that he is going to turn around an take my car with...

marmare · marmare

Thank you Kathy, it did make me sit and think. Calling his phone and leaving a message and calling again does make it look obsessive. He has dropped his phone over 5 times and sometimes tells me that he doesn't get voice mail, or that his phone doesn't ring at times, I have seen him turn it o...

kimmie · kimmie

Well I just wanted to see how everyone was doing. It's been a week or two since I've posted. Thngs are going great. My "A" is still doing very well with recovery. He has been working very hard and eveything is wonderful. Just wanted to touch base with you all. Tak...

princess433 · princess433

Hi everyone.. Lately I have been feeling really strange. Everything seems to be going good for me, I just made caption of my cheerleading squad, I am doing great in school, and I have the best time that I have ever had with my friends. But I am feeling realy empty. My mom is a alcoholic and she has just b...

chrissy · chrissy

IM HOME NOW, BUT MY HUSBAND CALLED AT 4:00 AM AND I LEFT MY DAUGHTER UPSTAIRS WITH MY BROTHER DOWN STAIRS AND WENT TO HIM. THE PHONE RANG & I FINALLY FELL ASLEEP HE SAID YEAH HELLO I SAID WHO IS THIS. I IMMEDIATELY WOKE UP WENT TO MEET HIM I BROUGHT HIM CLOTHES SHAVING CREAM TOOHTH...

search41 · search41

i just want to add to my previous post that i have really been making a conscious effort to do the things that i know will make me feel better about myself. like i mentioned in an earlier post, doing more volunteer work for the school, applying for this job (which is for being a substitute secretary...

search41 · search41

hello everyone first, i want to thank those who replied to my last post for all the support and encouragement. man, that helps so much! funny thing is, what i posted is what i really need help on tonight. the matter of my a expecting me to give him money cuz he gambled and drank it all away...

Kim · Kim

Hello roomies: Today was weird. I have been having a difficult time at work, just keeping it all going and together lately. I come home and go through the motions. I went for another walk today, took care of some bills, did some laundry..the usual. My A had said that he would stop by tonight after his ou...

nycbt · nycbt

Tommorow is my birthday. Every year since I was a little kid I got depressed about getting older. But I have decided to make it a special day. I am getting a facial, waxing, manicure. I am also going to have lunch with one of my guy friends.

cytagirl · cytagirl

Hello ..........hoping someone can define enabling for me ........very confused I have not given my A any money although last night he took 1 pound from my purse for a can of beer , i let him know that it was missing and he produced it saying he was going to put it back later. Today i'm at work and my A is wal...

mizcathi · mizcathi

Some of you may have seen my pasts posts called "My son's little alcholic house guest". My heart is heavy by the action we had to take about 6 weeks ago. My 27 y/o son is not yet legally divorced but brought home his new girl friend under false pretenses, claiming he'd found "true love" and...

sanddie · sanddie

Ya know the pain that Alcoholics go through? The same pain that we go through....... They feel neglected, lonely and out of control with their emotions so they drink because they don't know any other way to handle life. Well, the same is true with us who lose control over our emotions dealiing with...

tullemars · tullemars

I let my A know I want her to leave. She is in treatment now and has been for a couple years on and off. We have kids and it is tough. I was hoping for her to get an inpatient. She was at it again last night and could not get out of bed to get the kids on the bus. I feel nervous about it but, letting h...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, I talk about my kids so often, and the people here on this site helped me keep my sanity when I was pregnant with my youngest, Conner. With everything I have had to go through, not a day goes by that I do not thank God for my wonderful children. I am truly blessed to share in their lives, and I learn fro...

cytagirl · cytagirl

Hello Again , In my last post i mentioned that i was to attend my first meeting yesterday , unfortunately i couldn't get there , and boy do i wish i'd managed after the day i've had .My A who had managed not to drink for a week , mainly because i stopped enabling him, asked for 1 pound to get a coca cola , silly me...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] It's been a strange day already today. The fog was very thick this morning; the train ride to over the river to downtown was just plain creeeee-py! I hope Halloween night is like that. People had been telling me about Stumptown Coffee so I went there. Of course I got off at the...

sg · sg

I am beginning to think that I speak and no words come out anymore. For the past month to month or two I have tried to tell my A. (who has been dry for about 6 weeks) that I am having difficulties w/our marriage. Lack of communication between us. Him shutting down conversations. I'm not comfortable expres...

tullemars · tullemars

I am not going to be manipulated anymore. I am not fighting for someone who is too sick to love me. I am tired. I will not allow my house to be disease ridden. I am done. I am ready for the next stage. I am getting healthier. I am going to take care of me. Forget the rest To all take care o...

marmare · marmare

My A is working 4-10's this week, nights even. I was so excited about relaxing evenings (inbetween sleeping and his regular job he is doing a side job with a friend re-roofing a house) I got busy Monday night painting my toe nails and being the Queen of the Remote. Tuesday aft...

Tammy · Tammy

Today is day 13 of living away from my husband the alcoholic and I wanted to update everyone on where I am today. I also once again need guidance.. I have been living with my children in a condo on the beach for the last 13 days. I left my home because my husband wouldnt. Now w...

swolves · swolves

I am confused over what I'm actually feeling over a small event involving my husband. As many of you know he moved out in May, has gotten his own apartment, filed for divorce and has continued to use...even when he has the kids with him.

He likes to take tranquilizers of what ever flav...

Kim · Kim

hello roomies: well today I went back to therapy. It was the first step in the right direction for me. Next week my goal is to get ot a f2f meeting, I have been using what I knew from when I did attend up until now. The argument with my friend has left with little to do at night...I spent a large portio...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	COPING with families (Preview) Coping with Families There are many paths to self-care with families. Some people choose to sever connections with family members for a period of time. Some people choose to stay connected with family members and learn different behaviors. Some disconnect for a time, and then return slowly on...	rosie light shines	0	562	Oct 2, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Xtra long share on DENIAL (Preview) Denial I've been recovering many years. I've used denial many times. It has been a defense, a survival device, a coping behavior, and, at times, almost my undoing. It has been both a friend and an enemy.When I was a child, I used denial to protect my family and myself. I protected myself from seeing...	rosie light shines	0	838	Oct 2, 2005 by rosie light shines
	This is Cute (Preview) >	kerry5	2	548	Oct 2, 2005 by lmt123
	My A has sunk even lower (Preview) As I mentioned yesterday afternoon I knew it was possible that yesterday I may have been put in hospital for a couple of days to get my electrolytes in order and my hubs had given me his "word" as a man, so to speak that he would be home for the kids, sober. ( as opposed to promises from him which mean nothing!...	Old Faithful	3	590	Oct 2, 2005 by bcanuck
	haxigonian XXXI (Preview) [[ room ]] I've come to an awakening of sorts... It seems to me Portland is a reverse-Cincinnati, if you will. The things I hated about Cincinnati are all far better here, so i'm stayin. I was so disgusted with some of the things I saw in mixed-gender meetings I wanted to qui...	haximon	4	728	Oct 2, 2005 by bcanuck
	he came tonight (Preview) hi guys i feel a little better with some new hope we met the deacon tonight. i wasn't sure he was going to show. he hugged me so tight. we were talking together for a while and then deacon said can you step outside for a minute. i did the deacon ripped him a new one. they were in there for over an ho...	chrissy	3	593	Oct 2, 2005 by Maggie0015
	"i CAN i CAN i CAN and i DO!!!!" (Preview) Hope for Today - October 2 I often heard, "You'll never amount anything.You'll end up barefoot and pregnant. Colleges don't except dummies like you." These statements wereimprinted on my mind and heart from a very earlyage while growing up with the chaotic, inconsistent,and abusive behavior of m...	rosie light shines	1	658	Oct 2, 2005 by sanddie
	Signing off for now. (Preview) Hello roomies, Just wanted to tell you that I'm probably not going to be on the board for a few days, maybe up to a week. I'm down with step throat and pink eye. I still have to go to work otherwise I'll loose my vacation for the following week. (Not to mention, the boss is on vacation starting tomorro...	Karilynn	7	670	Oct 2, 2005 by Tammy
	Doing things for myself (Preview) I had a job interview yesterday and I think it went well. At least I hope it went well. I also saw my doctor who refilled my medication. I started back on my Prozac a few days ago and keep telling myself that it will take a little time (4-6 weeks) to fully get i...	Powerless	2	557	Oct 2, 2005 by Powerless
	not Sure Where I am Going From Here (Preview) Well lately things haven't been going so great. I've been trying real hard.. going to f2f meetings, online meetings and chat, posting things and reading literature. I've been listening to everyone and trying to take it all in. I really felt that I was going somewhere but recently thing...	sandie123	4	599	Oct 1, 2005 by notsonew1111
	Need help letting go (Preview) I really need some help letting go. Its only been a month since the divorce, but I'm having a real tough time facing reality. I hate myself for still having these feelings for my ex. I'm sitting here crying over this. What a pathetic loser. I hate to admit that I still love her and want to be with her. Everyo...	UncleLou	12	788	Oct 1, 2005 by Ratchie
	I AM A WORTHWHILE COMPANION (Preview) I spend more time with myself than with anyone else. Wouldnt it make sense to put some energy into making that relationship as fulfulling as possible? Another person cannot prevent me from feeling lonely, but my inner emptiness can be satsified. I can come to value my own company! I am a worthwh...	gardengal	4	696	Oct 1, 2005 by gardengal
	Alanon Member Emotions VS Alcoholic Emotions (Preview) If we really think about it. When we continue to obsess, grow anxous and stay consumed in our fears aren't we really just mimicking the same emotions of our alcoholic significant other? We don't like their behavior, yet we have similar behavior when we are affected by them. So shouldn't we be focusing...	sanddie	12	802	Oct 1, 2005 by Ratchie
	Hope for a Saturday (Preview) Hi Everybody- Have been reading the board faithfully the past 6 weeks or so(prior to this i was only one to read or post during a "bad spell"). Posting if I think I've got something to say. Its so interesting, this life of ours. I've been in the crazy day postings and the confused day postings and the sad...	gknee	0	558	Oct 1, 2005 by gknee
	i am going crazy (Preview) i am going crazy i hate that he did this to us. i cant even talk to him at night. he came here last night i gave him so more of his stuff and he had to leave by 9:30 this is not a marriage it is a joke. we have no where to go so we hang out in a car. i am so trying to make the best of this but it hurts so much. i really d...	chrissy	4	650	Oct 1, 2005 by chrissy
	surviving CHANGE (Preview) MANAGING CHANGE by Pamela Brewer, MSW, Ph.D., LCSW-C Change is usually a scary thing. Change you choose and change you don’t choose can be equally scary. Join the human club. Human beings usually find themselves struggling with at least some anxiety when it comes to thinking about and dealing w...	rosie light shines	0	493	Oct 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Checkout this Prayer, Music, Meditation for Today (Preview) This is very soothing: www.goodtimes2.com/morningprayer.htm	wallsal55	0	514	Oct 1, 2005 by wallsal55
	Risks & Focus (Preview) "Risks and Focus" How good are you at focusing your attention? It is an extremely valuable skill, and I would like to talk about it today. As I talked about yesterday, if we are to grow and reach our full potential, it is absolutely necessary to take risks. By its very nature, risk impl...	Peggy7	2	676	Oct 1, 2005 by WakingUp
	being who i am (Preview) Be Who You Are In recovery, we're learning a new behavior. It's called Be Who You Are.For some of us, this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of ada...	rosie light shines	0	490	Oct 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	pain CAN be a friend (Preview) Not Just A Motivation For Growth "We learn that pain can be a motivating factor in recovery." Basic Text p.29 "Pain - who needs it!" we think whenever we're in it. We see no good purpose for pain. It seems to be a pointless exercise in suffering. If someone happens to mention spiritual growth to...	rosie light shines	0	660	Oct 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	I'm waiting for a plague of locusts (Preview) Well, tonight my A is not the problem. My tenants called to say that they are moving out which is money that I am very dependent on now that I am living alone. I am so upset b/c I had told them what was going on (somewhat) between my husband and I when it first happened and she assured me th...	Kim	3	568	Oct 1, 2005 by chrissy
	to all newbies (Preview) I have always been around police, FBI and missing person. Though work and at home. There are lots of sick people who prey on people feeling down. I think you should not put full names city and state, birthdate in your profile. Their is an edit profile line. It...	nikkilou	4	537	Oct 1, 2005 by Old Faithful
	New here on the board (Preview) I'm new here. I've been on the Adult Child board for a few days. I have an A mom. I don't know when it started, but I became aware of it around 14 years old. I am 24, I'll be 25 in Oct. She alienated me from my dad, so I never really knew him until after I married. My relations...	ragingchild	3	579	Sep 30, 2005 by jj
	I am feeling worse (Preview) Hi again people.. Ok.. Well I have to get a lawer so that I can stay in the school that I am in because the school district that I live in is really bad. Well anyway I think that ny grandparents will have to adopt me in order for me to stay in my school. When I heard that they might have to adopt me I felt kind o...	princess433	3	550	Sep 30, 2005 by leo
	Realizing (Preview) I have read so many posts in the last couple days and the ups and downs in my own life. I am starting to realize how selfish and self centered this disease is. Today I feel like I can't handle one more disappointment, one more broken promise, one more rude comment. I try to work m...	marmare	2	571	Sep 30, 2005 by Kim
	Whats next??? (Preview) This roller coaster is driving me totally crazy. I've been trying so hard to figure out what is next and where I am going. It seems like I read and go to meetings but where do I go next? It seems like the more I listen the more pain I feel lateley. What do I do with that pain? How do I get rid of the pain especial...	sandie123	4	555	Sep 30, 2005 by Jeannie
	Let him be miserable... (Preview) I realize that my A. has recently dried up and that he isn't in any position to give the family what we need right now. I kept this in mind tonight when I suggested to try to communicate w/his step son (my son). My A. got upset over something totally stupid...my son putting tobasco sauce on his turkey....	sg	4	739	Sep 30, 2005 by lin0606
	The insanity is driving me insane!!! (Preview) Hey all I really cannot describe how I feel right now because all of the emotions whirling through me. I guess I'm scared and tired and angry and I want to hide and run so bad. My husband has been awake since Saturday. He has also been driving back and forth to LA twice so I have not seen him...	browneyes	5	879	Sep 30, 2005 by roygbiv
	i am NOT a victim!!!! (Preview) Not a Victim You are not a victim. How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of vict...	rosie light shines	2	647	Sep 30, 2005 by lin0606
	I'm new here - feeling rotten (Preview) As with all of you I'm sure, the " whole story" would take a book, but I'll try to get to the point, which I'm not always good at. I've stopped by here occasionally before to read posts, but after last night, this morning I felt I just had to register so I could post. I've been married almost 14 years...	Old Faithful	12	904	Sep 30, 2005 by lin0606
	addition to my replies to my two previous posts (Preview) one more thought: if this $25 doesn't get paid tomorrow for this drivers license thing, and a warrant DOES got out for his arrest, it will be ALL my fault for not giving him the $25, in his mind. after i wrote my replies to my two previous posts, i read the sheet about his payments on this thi...	search41	1	558	Sep 30, 2005 by roygbiv
	You people are all so kind to put up with me. (Preview) Being new to this whole world of alcoholism, I have many questions. I love a good, rousing discussion, so often write from the challenging side. Please remember that my A had 25 years sober, and slipped about 5 years ago. After two awful years, he got sober again, but has had two slips since then, each la...	Diva	8	781	Sep 30, 2005 by roygbiv
	Angry at the disease (Preview) One of my daycare moms dad passed away yesterday at 5:15 pm. Chronic drinker all his life. I have known this woman for years now and have watched every time he was in and out of rehab. Heard about all the times she had to call the ambulance because he would get so sick. I listened to her talk about when he went...	sg	3	652	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	My adult son is an alcoholic, need support from other parents (Preview) After 3 months of roller coaster emotions trying to make sense of my 27 y/o son's problems, I figure what I need is the help and experiences of other parent's in a similar struggle. My son moved back home 3 months ago to "start over", what he left out is that he's been having problems mentally and is...	mizcathi	3	620	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	If the time is not right, Wait... (Preview) I wanted to share this (came from the AA db)...It was so good that I wrote it down in my journal. Such wonderful, reassuring words to help w/recovery. Wait. If the time is not right, the way is not clear, the answer or decision not consistent, wait. We may feel a sense of urgency. We may w...	sg	4	650	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	2 bad days (Preview) Well I let her know she can't stay and drink anymore. Now off to the legal stuff. my family has been torn in half. I am so tired. I have had enough pain. But i still have more to go. there are times that you have to endure the pain. But I will be stronger later on. character flaws being a car...	tullemars	4	627	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	being more flexible (Preview) *The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind. -- William Blake* We seek the answer. Sometimes we think we have found a central truth and later learn that beneath it is another truth. Or what seemed so crucial as a guiding principle for our lives last y...	rosie light shines	1	584	Sep 30, 2005 by captcodee
	perspective (Preview) Perspective When our vision was clouded by self-will, our perspective was narrow and subjective. We saw people and events only as they fostered or frustrated our egotistical concerns. The world was a frightening place, since we thought that our welfare was entirely dependent on our own effor...	rosie light shines	0	480	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	FEEL EMPTY (Preview) I feel very empty inside. I put my guard down and then something happens. I don't know what to do any more. I am at a stop right now that my trust is no more. I love my husband and I guess at this time I am not ready to leave. But it is hard to let my guard down knowing that he is going to turn around an take my car with...	nycbt	5	669	Sep 30, 2005 by marmare
	For Kathy S (Preview) Thank you Kathy, it did make me sit and think. Calling his phone and leaving a message and calling again does make it look obsessive. He has dropped his phone over 5 times and sometimes tells me that he doesn't get voice mail, or that his phone doesn't ring at times, I have seen him turn it o...	marmare	1	639	Sep 30, 2005 by KathyS
	Hey everybody (Preview) Well I just wanted to see how everyone was doing. It's been a week or two since I've posted. Thngs are going great. My "A" is still doing very well with recovery. He has been working very hard and eveything is wonderful. Just wanted to touch base with you all. Tak...	kimmie	1	603	Sep 30, 2005 by nikkilou
	Feeling strange... (Preview) Hi everyone.. Lately I have been feeling really strange. Everything seems to be going good for me, I just made caption of my cheerleading squad, I am doing great in school, and I have the best time that I have ever had with my friends. But I am feeling realy empty. My mom is a alcoholic and she has just b...	princess433	4	635	Sep 30, 2005 by leo
	HE CALLED & I RAN LIKE A FOOL (Preview) IM HOME NOW, BUT MY HUSBAND CALLED AT 4:00 AM AND I LEFT MY DAUGHTER UPSTAIRS WITH MY BROTHER DOWN STAIRS AND WENT TO HIM. THE PHONE RANG & I FINALLY FELL ASLEEP HE SAID YEAH HELLO I SAID WHO IS THIS. I IMMEDIATELY WOKE UP WENT TO MEET HIM I BROUGHT HIM CLOTHES SHAVING CREAM TOOHTH...	chrissy	8	1212	Sep 30, 2005 by ragingchild
	p.s. (Preview) i just want to add to my previous post that i have really been making a conscious effort to do the things that i know will make me feel better about myself. like i mentioned in an earlier post, doing more volunteer work for the school, applying for this job (which is for being a substitute secretary...	search41	4	607	Sep 30, 2005 by search41
	really needing objectivity (Preview) hello everyone first, i want to thank those who replied to my last post for all the support and encouragement. man, that helps so much! funny thing is, what i posted is what i really need help on tonight. the matter of my a expecting me to give him money cuz he gambled and drank it all away...	search41	5	691	Sep 29, 2005 by search41
	conflict within (Preview) Hello roomies: Today was weird. I have been having a difficult time at work, just keeping it all going and together lately. I come home and go through the motions. I went for another walk today, took care of some bills, did some laundry..the usual. My A had said that he would stop by tonight after his ou...	Kim	1	590	Sep 29, 2005 by sg
	My birthday (Preview) Tommorow is my birthday. Every year since I was a little kid I got depressed about getting older. But I have decided to make it a special day. I am getting a facial, waxing, manicure. I am also going to have lunch with one of my guy friends.	nycbt	8	510	Sep 29, 2005 by Faith73
	the definition of enabling? (Preview) Hello ..........hoping someone can define enabling for me ........very confused I have not given my A any money although last night he took 1 pound from my purse for a can of beer , i let him know that it was missing and he produced it saying he was going to put it back later. Today i'm at work and my A is wal...	cytagirl	2	998	Sep 29, 2005 by Jeannie
	I think we did the right thing, but my heart still hurts (Preview) Some of you may have seen my pasts posts called "My son's little alcholic house guest". My heart is heavy by the action we had to take about 6 weeks ago. My 27 y/o son is not yet legally divorced but brought home his new girl friend under false pretenses, claiming he'd found "true love" and...	mizcathi	1	721	Sep 29, 2005 by captcodee
	Wrote in another post and just wanted to share..... (Preview) Ya know the pain that Alcoholics go through? The same pain that we go through....... They feel neglected, lonely and out of control with their emotions so they drink because they don't know any other way to handle life. Well, the same is true with us who lose control over our emotions dealiing with...	sanddie	0	589	Sep 29, 2005 by sanddie
	I know what has to be done (Preview) I let my A know I want her to leave. She is in treatment now and has been for a couple years on and off. We have kids and it is tough. I was hoping for her to get an inpatient. She was at it again last night and could not get out of bed to get the kids on the bus. I feel nervous about it but, letting h...	tullemars	2	690	Sep 29, 2005 by sandie123
	Jeannies bunch (Preview) Hi, I talk about my kids so often, and the people here on this site helped me keep my sanity when I was pregnant with my youngest, Conner. With everything I have had to go through, not a day goes by that I do not thank God for my wonderful children. I am truly blessed to share in their lives, and I learn fro...	Jeannie	7	556	Sep 29, 2005 by mom to 2
	Feel like a fool (Preview) Hello Again , In my last post i mentioned that i was to attend my first meeting yesterday , unfortunately i couldn't get there , and boy do i wish i'd managed after the day i've had .My A who had managed not to drink for a week , mainly because i stopped enabling him, asked for 1 pound to get a coca cola , silly me...	cytagirl	11	778	Sep 29, 2005 by KathyS
	haxigonian XXX (Preview) [[ room ]] It's been a strange day already today. The fog was very thick this morning; the train ride to over the river to downtown was just plain creeeee-py! I hope Halloween night is like that. People had been telling me about Stumptown Coffee so I went there. Of course I got off at the...	haximon	2	761	Sep 29, 2005 by toto12
	Oblivion (Preview) I am beginning to think that I speak and no words come out anymore. For the past month to month or two I have tried to tell my A. (who has been dry for about 6 weeks) that I am having difficulties w/our marriage. Lack of communication between us. Him shutting down conversations. I'm not comfortable expres...	sg	7	594	Sep 29, 2005 by KathyS
	I am not going to live this any longer. (Preview) I am not going to be manipulated anymore. I am not fighting for someone who is too sick to love me. I am tired. I will not allow my house to be disease ridden. I am done. I am ready for the next stage. I am getting healthier. I am going to take care of me. Forget the rest To all take care o...	tullemars	4	751	Sep 29, 2005 by Diva
	I just don't understand (Preview) My A is working 4-10's this week, nights even. I was so excited about relaxing evenings (inbetween sleeping and his regular job he is doing a side job with a friend re-roofing a house) I got busy Monday night painting my toe nails and being the Queen of the Remote. Tuesday aft...	marmare	6	896	Sep 29, 2005 by KathyS
	Day 13 of living away from my A (Preview) Today is day 13 of living away from my husband the alcoholic and I wanted to update everyone on where I am today. I also once again need guidance.. I have been living with my children in a condo on the beach for the last 13 days. I left my home because my husband wouldnt. Now w...	Tammy	3	727	Sep 29, 2005 by KathyS
	how very strange (Preview) I am confused over what I'm actually feeling over a small event involving my husband. As many of you know he moved out in May, has gotten his own apartment, filed for divorce and has continued to use...even when he has the kids with him. He likes to take tranquilizers of what ever flav...	swolves	3	678	Sep 29, 2005 by KathyS
	another step in the right direction/trust (Preview) hello roomies: well today I went back to therapy. It was the first step in the right direction for me. Next week my goal is to get ot a f2f meeting, I have been using what I knew from when I did attend up until now. The argument with my friend has left with little to do at night...I spent a large portio...	Kim	4	739	Sep 29, 2005 by Kim
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.