Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Not Just A Motivation For Growth "We learn that pain can be a motivating factor in recovery." Basic Text p.29 "Pain - who needs it!" we think whenever we're in it. We see no good purpose for pain. It seems to be a pointless exercise in suffering. If someone happens to mention spiritual growth to...

Kim · Kim

Well, tonight my A is not the problem. My tenants called to say that they are moving out which is money that I am very dependent on now that I am living alone. I am so upset b/c I had told them what was going on (somewhat) between my husband and I when it first happened and she assured me th...

nikkilou · nikkilou

I have always been around police, FBI and missing person. Though work and at home. There are lots of sick people who prey on people feeling down. I think you should not put full names city and state, birthdate in your profile. Their is an edit profile line. It...

ragingchild · ragingchild

I'm new here. I've been on the Adult Child board for a few days. I have an A mom. I don't know when it started, but I became aware of it around 14 years old. I am 24, I'll be 25 in Oct. She alienated me from my dad, so I never really knew him until after I married. My relations...

princess433 · princess433

Hi again people.. Ok.. Well I have to get a lawer so that I can stay in the school that I am in because the school district that I live in is really bad. Well anyway I think that ny grandparents will have to adopt me in order for me to stay in my school. When I heard that they might have to adopt me I felt kind o...

marmare · marmare

I have read so many posts in the last couple days and the ups and downs in my own life. I am starting to realize how selfish and self centered this disease is. Today I feel like I can't handle one more disappointment, one more broken promise, one more rude comment. I try to work m...

sandie123 · sandie123

This roller coaster is driving me totally crazy. I've been trying so hard to figure out what is next and where I am going. It seems like I read and go to meetings but where do I go next? It seems like the more I listen the more pain I feel lateley. What do I do with that pain? How do I get rid of the pain especial...

sg · sg

I realize that my A. has recently dried up and that he isn't in any position to give the family what we need right now. I kept this in mind tonight when I suggested to try to communicate w/his step son (my son). My A. got upset over something totally stupid...my son putting tobasco sauce on his turkey....

browneyes · browneyes

Hey all I really cannot describe how I feel right now because all of the emotions whirling through me. I guess I'm scared and tired and angry and I want to hide and run so bad. My husband has been awake since Saturday. He has also been driving back and forth to LA twice so I have not seen him...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Not a Victim You are not a victim. How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of vict...

Old Faithful · Old Faithful

As with all of you I'm sure, the " whole story" would take a book, but I'll try to get to the point, which I'm not always good at. I've stopped by here occasionally before to read posts, but after last night, this morning I felt I just had to register so I could post. I've been married almost 14 years...

search41 · search41

one more thought: if this $25 doesn't get paid tomorrow for this drivers license thing, and a warrant DOES got out for his arrest, it will be ALL my fault for not giving him the $25, in his mind. after i wrote my replies to my two previous posts, i read the sheet about his payments on this thi...

Diva · Diva

Being new to this whole world of alcoholism, I have many questions. I love a good, rousing discussion, so often write from the challenging side. Please remember that my A had 25 years sober, and slipped about 5 years ago. After two awful years, he got sober again, but has had two slips since then, each la...

sg · sg

One of my daycare moms dad passed away yesterday at 5:15 pm. Chronic drinker all his life. I have known this woman for years now and have watched every time he was in and out of rehab. Heard about all the times she had to call the ambulance because he would get so sick. I listened to her talk about when he went...

mizcathi · mizcathi

After 3 months of roller coaster emotions trying to make sense of my 27 y/o son's problems, I figure what I need is the help and experiences of other parent's in a similar struggle. My son moved back home 3 months ago to "start over", what he left out is that he's been having problems mentally and is...

sg · sg

I wanted to share this (came from the AA db)...It was so good that I wrote it down in my journal. Such wonderful, reassuring words to help w/recovery. Wait. If the time is not right, the way is not clear, the answer or decision not consistent, wait. We may feel a sense of urgency. We may w...

tullemars · tullemars

Well I let her know she can't stay and drink anymore. Now off to the legal stuff. my family has been torn in half. I am so tired. I have had enough pain. But i still have more to go. there are times that you have to endure the pain. But I will be stronger later on. character flaws being a car...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind. -- William Blake We seek the answer. Sometimes we think we have found a central truth and later learn that beneath it is another truth. Or what seemed so crucial as a guiding principle for our lives last y...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Perspective When our vision was clouded by self-will, our perspective was narrow and subjective. We saw people and events only as they fostered or frustrated our egotistical concerns. The world was a frightening place, since we thought that our welfare was entirely dependent on our own effor...

nycbt · nycbt

I feel very empty inside. I put my guard down and then something happens. I don't know what to do any more. I am at a stop right now that my trust is no more. I love my husband and I guess at this time I am not ready to leave. But it is hard to let my guard down knowing that he is going to turn around an take my car with...

marmare · marmare

Thank you Kathy, it did make me sit and think. Calling his phone and leaving a message and calling again does make it look obsessive. He has dropped his phone over 5 times and sometimes tells me that he doesn't get voice mail, or that his phone doesn't ring at times, I have seen him turn it o...

kimmie · kimmie

Well I just wanted to see how everyone was doing. It's been a week or two since I've posted. Thngs are going great. My "A" is still doing very well with recovery. He has been working very hard and eveything is wonderful. Just wanted to touch base with you all. Tak...

princess433 · princess433

Hi everyone.. Lately I have been feeling really strange. Everything seems to be going good for me, I just made caption of my cheerleading squad, I am doing great in school, and I have the best time that I have ever had with my friends. But I am feeling realy empty. My mom is a alcoholic and she has just b...

chrissy · chrissy

IM HOME NOW, BUT MY HUSBAND CALLED AT 4:00 AM AND I LEFT MY DAUGHTER UPSTAIRS WITH MY BROTHER DOWN STAIRS AND WENT TO HIM. THE PHONE RANG & I FINALLY FELL ASLEEP HE SAID YEAH HELLO I SAID WHO IS THIS. I IMMEDIATELY WOKE UP WENT TO MEET HIM I BROUGHT HIM CLOTHES SHAVING CREAM TOOHTH...

search41 · search41

i just want to add to my previous post that i have really been making a conscious effort to do the things that i know will make me feel better about myself. like i mentioned in an earlier post, doing more volunteer work for the school, applying for this job (which is for being a substitute secretary...

search41 · search41

hello everyone first, i want to thank those who replied to my last post for all the support and encouragement. man, that helps so much! funny thing is, what i posted is what i really need help on tonight. the matter of my a expecting me to give him money cuz he gambled and drank it all away...

Kim · Kim

Hello roomies: Today was weird. I have been having a difficult time at work, just keeping it all going and together lately. I come home and go through the motions. I went for another walk today, took care of some bills, did some laundry..the usual. My A had said that he would stop by tonight after his ou...

nycbt · nycbt

Tommorow is my birthday. Every year since I was a little kid I got depressed about getting older. But I have decided to make it a special day. I am getting a facial, waxing, manicure. I am also going to have lunch with one of my guy friends.

cytagirl · cytagirl

Hello ..........hoping someone can define enabling for me ........very confused I have not given my A any money although last night he took 1 pound from my purse for a can of beer , i let him know that it was missing and he produced it saying he was going to put it back later. Today i'm at work and my A is wal...

mizcathi · mizcathi

Some of you may have seen my pasts posts called "My son's little alcholic house guest". My heart is heavy by the action we had to take about 6 weeks ago. My 27 y/o son is not yet legally divorced but brought home his new girl friend under false pretenses, claiming he'd found "true love" and...

sanddie · sanddie

Ya know the pain that Alcoholics go through? The same pain that we go through....... They feel neglected, lonely and out of control with their emotions so they drink because they don't know any other way to handle life. Well, the same is true with us who lose control over our emotions dealiing with...

tullemars · tullemars

I let my A know I want her to leave. She is in treatment now and has been for a couple years on and off. We have kids and it is tough. I was hoping for her to get an inpatient. She was at it again last night and could not get out of bed to get the kids on the bus. I feel nervous about it but, letting h...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi, I talk about my kids so often, and the people here on this site helped me keep my sanity when I was pregnant with my youngest, Conner. With everything I have had to go through, not a day goes by that I do not thank God for my wonderful children. I am truly blessed to share in their lives, and I learn fro...

cytagirl · cytagirl

Hello Again , In my last post i mentioned that i was to attend my first meeting yesterday , unfortunately i couldn't get there , and boy do i wish i'd managed after the day i've had .My A who had managed not to drink for a week , mainly because i stopped enabling him, asked for 1 pound to get a coca cola , silly me...

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] It's been a strange day already today. The fog was very thick this morning; the train ride to over the river to downtown was just plain creeeee-py! I hope Halloween night is like that. People had been telling me about Stumptown Coffee so I went there. Of course I got off at the...

sg · sg

I am beginning to think that I speak and no words come out anymore. For the past month to month or two I have tried to tell my A. (who has been dry for about 6 weeks) that I am having difficulties w/our marriage. Lack of communication between us. Him shutting down conversations. I'm not comfortable expres...

tullemars · tullemars

I am not going to be manipulated anymore. I am not fighting for someone who is too sick to love me. I am tired. I will not allow my house to be disease ridden. I am done. I am ready for the next stage. I am getting healthier. I am going to take care of me. Forget the rest To all take care o...

marmare · marmare

My A is working 4-10's this week, nights even. I was so excited about relaxing evenings (inbetween sleeping and his regular job he is doing a side job with a friend re-roofing a house) I got busy Monday night painting my toe nails and being the Queen of the Remote. Tuesday aft...

Tammy · Tammy

Today is day 13 of living away from my husband the alcoholic and I wanted to update everyone on where I am today. I also once again need guidance.. I have been living with my children in a condo on the beach for the last 13 days. I left my home because my husband wouldnt. Now w...

swolves · swolves

I am confused over what I'm actually feeling over a small event involving my husband. As many of you know he moved out in May, has gotten his own apartment, filed for divorce and has continued to use...even when he has the kids with him.

He likes to take tranquilizers of what ever flav...

Kim · Kim

hello roomies: well today I went back to therapy. It was the first step in the right direction for me. Next week my goal is to get ot a f2f meeting, I have been using what I knew from when I did attend up until now. The argument with my friend has left with little to do at night...I spent a large portio...

chrissy · chrissy

i was calling all over hotels for my a and at 4:00pm i located him at a hotel. i called and they put me through i think the hotel was ready to kill me. i called every day until i found him a couple times a day. he answered the phone trashed i said hello , he said hello i said who is this he said his name and then i said...

chrissy · chrissy

HE IS STILL NOT HOME SINCE SAT SHOULD I FILE A MISSING PERSON. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I AM SO TIRED AND LOST. .HE DRAINED THE BANK ACCOUNT THE BANK CALLED TO SEE IF HIS CARD WAS STOLEN -- Edited by chrissy at 21:54, 2005-09-27

nycbt · nycbt

He something from the book "Getting Them Sober you can help" Volume One written by Toby Rice Drews. Here is something from Chapter 2 Be Gentle with Yourself It's hard to do anything right during a crisis. And crises happen very regularly in an alcholic's home. When things are going well for a few...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

I have been home now for two weeks and I returned home to empty promises which I know is my own fault. After all, nothing changes if nothing changes. The honeymoon period has already ended and I have watched my husband rant and rave on a couple of occasions about whatever injustice he seems to thin...

nycbt · nycbt

Yesterday night wasn't that good. Well my husband said he was going to Quick Check and then when his boss called I went out side and there was no car. He had taken my car without saying he was going to take it. I was upset with him. His boss came to pick him up because he said he would be back. I was...

jj · jj

" I may not be where I want to be, but I'm sure as heck not where I was!" Wynonna Judd She is going through her own difficulties in life and said this on Oprah yesterday and it just grabbed at me!! Her thought for the day deffinately applies to all of us. When we are not feeling quite as good about our rec...

captcodee · captcodee

Hey all. I have been such a delinquent (how the heck do you spell that anyhow). Since I have moved back with the hubby, and into the big city, I have been so bad. I don't think I have posted once since I have lived in Calgary! What kind of example is that. So, j...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Answering Machine at the Mental Hospital: "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you or offer to press 2 for them. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you...

leo · leo

Hi Everyone, I am not sure if I am doing this right but here goes. I found this website last night and just wanted to say thankyou to everyone who has already posted. Just reading the messages has helped me enormously. I have contacted a counsellor today for me to heal and find out obstacles that lay a...

debilyn · debilyn

hi, just thought i would say how i see the separation of the disease and the loved one. I use the analogy that if he had a brain tumor that made his behavior not something very loveable, I would still love him. My mother was the best to me. She got a tiny bit impatient when she was so bad with the b...

Maypole · Maypole

I love this board! I have been going to f2f meetings for about 6 weeks and I know that I need a sponcer but I feel some weird shame and fear and so much resistance from myself...like I don't deserve one or someone will say yes but not want to...i am very reluctant to ask and I find it almost impossible to make p...

megan · megan

Hello OP's Could someone please chair the Sunday evening 7pm meeting for me? I leave for the Netherlands tomorrow to visit my brother and his family and will be unable to chair. Thank-you so very much Megan

Diva · Diva

Yes, I did know my husband for three years before we married, and yes, he did neglect to tell me that he was a recovering alcoholic. I think your word, "recovered" is a word I do not use. He lived in England you see, so our f2f meetings were not on a daily basis. We would see one another every three or four mont...

dogscribe · dogscribe

Last night I went to a rubber stamping party. I can't tell you how good it felt. I really was hesitant about going because Tues. especially are one of the A's drinking nights. He of course stopped at the bar after work and he knew I was going to this and that I had to leave early. So I just starting dinner - gri...

debi · debi

this is a poem i wrote one day, when i was trying to understand my how alcoholics think and react......not sure how true it is. I AM Sober This is how I see the alcoholic CONSUMED, LIQUID HELL MY MIND SATURATED…EMPTY ...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Found this in my email today - just wanted to share. A Lesson in Change It took a major health scare for me to learn that I needed to start paying attention to my life. By Alan Alda I was in an ambulance, bumping down a mountain road for an hour and a half. Someone on a gurney was moaning at the top of his voice...

nikkilou · nikkilou

Hi Rommies, I just need to get some stuff off my chest about work. I took off some time from work. (since July 4th) I was fighting with my boss and told his boss about his inablilty to manage many times. Which I'm sure got back to him. Well I asked for some time off at the begining of the summer. Well now I w...

browneyes · browneyes

Hey all I went to a new f2f last week just to see what it would be like. Well I heard two things that were pretty cool to me.

1. A woman said that she had a God Box. And some of you probably know what this is but for those of you that don't. A God Box as she explained it is wher...

search41 · search41

well, i guess whether people are interested in what i share or not, i'm going to keep sharing, cuz it's helping. my a just got done with ANOTHER one of his weeks of 5 weeks of vacation a year, and i have been AMAZED at how i have not engaged in the things he does when he is on vacation. usua...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	pain CAN be a friend (Preview) Not Just A Motivation For Growth "We learn that pain can be a motivating factor in recovery." Basic Text p.29 "Pain - who needs it!" we think whenever we're in it. We see no good purpose for pain. It seems to be a pointless exercise in suffering. If someone happens to mention spiritual growth to...	rosie light shines	0	638	Oct 1, 2005 by rosie light shines
	I'm waiting for a plague of locusts (Preview) Well, tonight my A is not the problem. My tenants called to say that they are moving out which is money that I am very dependent on now that I am living alone. I am so upset b/c I had told them what was going on (somewhat) between my husband and I when it first happened and she assured me th...	Kim	3	536	Oct 1, 2005 by chrissy
	to all newbies (Preview) I have always been around police, FBI and missing person. Though work and at home. There are lots of sick people who prey on people feeling down. I think you should not put full names city and state, birthdate in your profile. Their is an edit profile line. It...	nikkilou	4	512	Oct 1, 2005 by Old Faithful
	New here on the board (Preview) I'm new here. I've been on the Adult Child board for a few days. I have an A mom. I don't know when it started, but I became aware of it around 14 years old. I am 24, I'll be 25 in Oct. She alienated me from my dad, so I never really knew him until after I married. My relations...	ragingchild	3	559	Sep 30, 2005 by jj
	I am feeling worse (Preview) Hi again people.. Ok.. Well I have to get a lawer so that I can stay in the school that I am in because the school district that I live in is really bad. Well anyway I think that ny grandparents will have to adopt me in order for me to stay in my school. When I heard that they might have to adopt me I felt kind o...	princess433	3	527	Sep 30, 2005 by leo
	Realizing (Preview) I have read so many posts in the last couple days and the ups and downs in my own life. I am starting to realize how selfish and self centered this disease is. Today I feel like I can't handle one more disappointment, one more broken promise, one more rude comment. I try to work m...	marmare	2	547	Sep 30, 2005 by Kim
	Whats next??? (Preview) This roller coaster is driving me totally crazy. I've been trying so hard to figure out what is next and where I am going. It seems like I read and go to meetings but where do I go next? It seems like the more I listen the more pain I feel lateley. What do I do with that pain? How do I get rid of the pain especial...	sandie123	4	525	Sep 30, 2005 by Jeannie
	Let him be miserable... (Preview) I realize that my A. has recently dried up and that he isn't in any position to give the family what we need right now. I kept this in mind tonight when I suggested to try to communicate w/his step son (my son). My A. got upset over something totally stupid...my son putting tobasco sauce on his turkey....	sg	4	713	Sep 30, 2005 by lin0606
	The insanity is driving me insane!!! (Preview) Hey all I really cannot describe how I feel right now because all of the emotions whirling through me. I guess I'm scared and tired and angry and I want to hide and run so bad. My husband has been awake since Saturday. He has also been driving back and forth to LA twice so I have not seen him...	browneyes	5	848	Sep 30, 2005 by roygbiv
	i am NOT a victim!!!! (Preview) Not a Victim You are not a victim. How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of vict...	rosie light shines	2	626	Sep 30, 2005 by lin0606
	I'm new here - feeling rotten (Preview) As with all of you I'm sure, the " whole story" would take a book, but I'll try to get to the point, which I'm not always good at. I've stopped by here occasionally before to read posts, but after last night, this morning I felt I just had to register so I could post. I've been married almost 14 years...	Old Faithful	12	875	Sep 30, 2005 by lin0606
	addition to my replies to my two previous posts (Preview) one more thought: if this $25 doesn't get paid tomorrow for this drivers license thing, and a warrant DOES got out for his arrest, it will be ALL my fault for not giving him the $25, in his mind. after i wrote my replies to my two previous posts, i read the sheet about his payments on this thi...	search41	1	534	Sep 30, 2005 by roygbiv
	You people are all so kind to put up with me. (Preview) Being new to this whole world of alcoholism, I have many questions. I love a good, rousing discussion, so often write from the challenging side. Please remember that my A had 25 years sober, and slipped about 5 years ago. After two awful years, he got sober again, but has had two slips since then, each la...	Diva	8	752	Sep 30, 2005 by roygbiv
	Angry at the disease (Preview) One of my daycare moms dad passed away yesterday at 5:15 pm. Chronic drinker all his life. I have known this woman for years now and have watched every time he was in and out of rehab. Heard about all the times she had to call the ambulance because he would get so sick. I listened to her talk about when he went...	sg	3	624	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	My adult son is an alcoholic, need support from other parents (Preview) After 3 months of roller coaster emotions trying to make sense of my 27 y/o son's problems, I figure what I need is the help and experiences of other parent's in a similar struggle. My son moved back home 3 months ago to "start over", what he left out is that he's been having problems mentally and is...	mizcathi	3	593	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	If the time is not right, Wait... (Preview) I wanted to share this (came from the AA db)...It was so good that I wrote it down in my journal. Such wonderful, reassuring words to help w/recovery. Wait. If the time is not right, the way is not clear, the answer or decision not consistent, wait. We may feel a sense of urgency. We may w...	sg	4	618	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	2 bad days (Preview) Well I let her know she can't stay and drink anymore. Now off to the legal stuff. my family has been torn in half. I am so tired. I have had enough pain. But i still have more to go. there are times that you have to endure the pain. But I will be stronger later on. character flaws being a car...	tullemars	4	600	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	being more flexible (Preview) *The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind. -- William Blake* We seek the answer. Sometimes we think we have found a central truth and later learn that beneath it is another truth. Or what seemed so crucial as a guiding principle for our lives last y...	rosie light shines	1	560	Sep 30, 2005 by captcodee
	perspective (Preview) Perspective When our vision was clouded by self-will, our perspective was narrow and subjective. We saw people and events only as they fostered or frustrated our egotistical concerns. The world was a frightening place, since we thought that our welfare was entirely dependent on our own effor...	rosie light shines	0	451	Sep 30, 2005 by rosie light shines
	FEEL EMPTY (Preview) I feel very empty inside. I put my guard down and then something happens. I don't know what to do any more. I am at a stop right now that my trust is no more. I love my husband and I guess at this time I am not ready to leave. But it is hard to let my guard down knowing that he is going to turn around an take my car with...	nycbt	5	646	Sep 30, 2005 by marmare
	For Kathy S (Preview) Thank you Kathy, it did make me sit and think. Calling his phone and leaving a message and calling again does make it look obsessive. He has dropped his phone over 5 times and sometimes tells me that he doesn't get voice mail, or that his phone doesn't ring at times, I have seen him turn it o...	marmare	1	615	Sep 30, 2005 by KathyS
	Hey everybody (Preview) Well I just wanted to see how everyone was doing. It's been a week or two since I've posted. Thngs are going great. My "A" is still doing very well with recovery. He has been working very hard and eveything is wonderful. Just wanted to touch base with you all. Tak...	kimmie	1	580	Sep 30, 2005 by nikkilou
	Feeling strange... (Preview) Hi everyone.. Lately I have been feeling really strange. Everything seems to be going good for me, I just made caption of my cheerleading squad, I am doing great in school, and I have the best time that I have ever had with my friends. But I am feeling realy empty. My mom is a alcoholic and she has just b...	princess433	4	606	Sep 30, 2005 by leo
	HE CALLED & I RAN LIKE A FOOL (Preview) IM HOME NOW, BUT MY HUSBAND CALLED AT 4:00 AM AND I LEFT MY DAUGHTER UPSTAIRS WITH MY BROTHER DOWN STAIRS AND WENT TO HIM. THE PHONE RANG & I FINALLY FELL ASLEEP HE SAID YEAH HELLO I SAID WHO IS THIS. I IMMEDIATELY WOKE UP WENT TO MEET HIM I BROUGHT HIM CLOTHES SHAVING CREAM TOOHTH...	chrissy	8	1153	Sep 30, 2005 by ragingchild
	p.s. (Preview) i just want to add to my previous post that i have really been making a conscious effort to do the things that i know will make me feel better about myself. like i mentioned in an earlier post, doing more volunteer work for the school, applying for this job (which is for being a substitute secretary...	search41	4	577	Sep 30, 2005 by search41
	really needing objectivity (Preview) hello everyone first, i want to thank those who replied to my last post for all the support and encouragement. man, that helps so much! funny thing is, what i posted is what i really need help on tonight. the matter of my a expecting me to give him money cuz he gambled and drank it all away...	search41	5	667	Sep 29, 2005 by search41
	conflict within (Preview) Hello roomies: Today was weird. I have been having a difficult time at work, just keeping it all going and together lately. I come home and go through the motions. I went for another walk today, took care of some bills, did some laundry..the usual. My A had said that he would stop by tonight after his ou...	Kim	1	544	Sep 29, 2005 by sg
	My birthday (Preview) Tommorow is my birthday. Every year since I was a little kid I got depressed about getting older. But I have decided to make it a special day. I am getting a facial, waxing, manicure. I am also going to have lunch with one of my guy friends.	nycbt	8	488	Sep 29, 2005 by Faith73
	the definition of enabling? (Preview) Hello ..........hoping someone can define enabling for me ........very confused I have not given my A any money although last night he took 1 pound from my purse for a can of beer , i let him know that it was missing and he produced it saying he was going to put it back later. Today i'm at work and my A is wal...	cytagirl	2	963	Sep 29, 2005 by Jeannie
	I think we did the right thing, but my heart still hurts (Preview) Some of you may have seen my pasts posts called "My son's little alcholic house guest". My heart is heavy by the action we had to take about 6 weeks ago. My 27 y/o son is not yet legally divorced but brought home his new girl friend under false pretenses, claiming he'd found "true love" and...	mizcathi	1	701	Sep 29, 2005 by captcodee
	Wrote in another post and just wanted to share..... (Preview) Ya know the pain that Alcoholics go through? The same pain that we go through....... They feel neglected, lonely and out of control with their emotions so they drink because they don't know any other way to handle life. Well, the same is true with us who lose control over our emotions dealiing with...	sanddie	0	564	Sep 29, 2005 by sanddie
	I know what has to be done (Preview) I let my A know I want her to leave. She is in treatment now and has been for a couple years on and off. We have kids and it is tough. I was hoping for her to get an inpatient. She was at it again last night and could not get out of bed to get the kids on the bus. I feel nervous about it but, letting h...	tullemars	2	663	Sep 29, 2005 by sandie123
	Jeannies bunch (Preview) Hi, I talk about my kids so often, and the people here on this site helped me keep my sanity when I was pregnant with my youngest, Conner. With everything I have had to go through, not a day goes by that I do not thank God for my wonderful children. I am truly blessed to share in their lives, and I learn fro...	Jeannie	7	531	Sep 29, 2005 by mom to 2
	Feel like a fool (Preview) Hello Again , In my last post i mentioned that i was to attend my first meeting yesterday , unfortunately i couldn't get there , and boy do i wish i'd managed after the day i've had .My A who had managed not to drink for a week , mainly because i stopped enabling him, asked for 1 pound to get a coca cola , silly me...	cytagirl	11	752	Sep 29, 2005 by KathyS
	haxigonian XXX (Preview) [[ room ]] It's been a strange day already today. The fog was very thick this morning; the train ride to over the river to downtown was just plain creeeee-py! I hope Halloween night is like that. People had been telling me about Stumptown Coffee so I went there. Of course I got off at the...	haximon	2	731	Sep 29, 2005 by toto12
	Oblivion (Preview) I am beginning to think that I speak and no words come out anymore. For the past month to month or two I have tried to tell my A. (who has been dry for about 6 weeks) that I am having difficulties w/our marriage. Lack of communication between us. Him shutting down conversations. I'm not comfortable expres...	sg	7	561	Sep 29, 2005 by KathyS
	I am not going to live this any longer. (Preview) I am not going to be manipulated anymore. I am not fighting for someone who is too sick to love me. I am tired. I will not allow my house to be disease ridden. I am done. I am ready for the next stage. I am getting healthier. I am going to take care of me. Forget the rest To all take care o...	tullemars	4	728	Sep 29, 2005 by Diva
	I just don't understand (Preview) My A is working 4-10's this week, nights even. I was so excited about relaxing evenings (inbetween sleeping and his regular job he is doing a side job with a friend re-roofing a house) I got busy Monday night painting my toe nails and being the Queen of the Remote. Tuesday aft...	marmare	6	875	Sep 29, 2005 by KathyS
	Day 13 of living away from my A (Preview) Today is day 13 of living away from my husband the alcoholic and I wanted to update everyone on where I am today. I also once again need guidance.. I have been living with my children in a condo on the beach for the last 13 days. I left my home because my husband wouldnt. Now w...	Tammy	3	694	Sep 29, 2005 by KathyS
	how very strange (Preview) I am confused over what I'm actually feeling over a small event involving my husband. As many of you know he moved out in May, has gotten his own apartment, filed for divorce and has continued to use...even when he has the kids with him. He likes to take tranquilizers of what ever flav...	swolves	3	653	Sep 29, 2005 by KathyS
	another step in the right direction/trust (Preview) hello roomies: well today I went back to therapy. It was the first step in the right direction for me. Next week my goal is to get ot a f2f meeting, I have been using what I knew from when I did attend up until now. The argument with my friend has left with little to do at night...I spent a large portio...	Kim	4	706	Sep 29, 2005 by Kim
	i found him (Preview) i was calling all over hotels for my a and at 4:00pm i located him at a hotel. i called and they put me through i think the hotel was ready to kill me. i called every day until i found him a couple times a day. he answered the phone trashed i said hello , he said hello i said who is this he said his name and then i said...	chrissy	3	617	Sep 29, 2005 by nycbt
	HE IS STILL NOT HOME SINCE SAT (Preview) HE IS STILL NOT HOME SINCE SAT SHOULD I FILE A MISSING PERSON. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I AM SO TIRED AND LOST. .HE DRAINED THE BANK ACCOUNT THE BANK CALLED TO SEE IF HIS CARD WAS STOLEN -- Edited by chrissy at 21:54, 2005-09-27	chrissy	12	793	Sep 29, 2005 by chrissy
	Be gentle with yourself (Preview) He something from the book "Getting Them Sober you can help" Volume One written by Toby Rice Drews. Here is something from Chapter 2 Be Gentle with Yourself It's hard to do anything right during a crisis. And crises happen very regularly in an alcholic's home. When things are going well for a few...	nycbt	1	776	Sep 29, 2005 by browneyes
	I feel finally feel like I am starting to let go (Preview) I have been home now for two weeks and I returned home to empty promises which I know is my own fault. After all, nothing changes if nothing changes. The honeymoon period has already ended and I have watched my husband rant and rave on a couple of occasions about whatever injustice he seems to thin...	JulieLynn	2	612	Sep 29, 2005 by gknee
	Angry (Preview) Yesterday night wasn't that good. Well my husband said he was going to Quick Check and then when his boss called I went out side and there was no car. He had taken my car without saying he was going to take it. I was upset with him. His boss came to pick him up because he said he would be back. I was...	nycbt	1	583	Sep 29, 2005 by captcodee
	Quote to share (Preview) " I may not be where I want to be, but I'm sure as heck not where I was!" Wynonna Judd She is going through her own difficulties in life and said this on Oprah yesterday and it just grabbed at me!! Her thought for the day deffinately applies to all of us. When we are not feeling quite as good about our rec...	jj	3	520	Sep 29, 2005 by sandie123
	An update from the long lost CAPTCODEE (Preview) Hey all. I have been such a delinquent (how the heck do you spell that anyhow). Since I have moved back with the hubby, and into the big city, I have been so bad. I don't think I have posted once since I have lived in Calgary! What kind of example is that. So, j...	captcodee	3	576	Sep 29, 2005 by captcodee
	mental health answering machine (Preview) Answering Machine at the Mental Hospital: "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you or offer to press 2 for them. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you...	rosie light shines	2	567	Sep 29, 2005 by Karilynn
	my first post (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am not sure if I am doing this right but here goes. I found this website last night and just wanted to say thankyou to everyone who has already posted. Just reading the messages has helped me enormously. I have contacted a counsellor today for me to heal and find out obstacles that lay a...	leo	14	762	Sep 29, 2005 by leo
	The disease/the human person (Preview) hi, just thought i would say how i see the separation of the disease and the loved one. I use the analogy that if he had a brain tumor that made his behavior not something very loveable, I would still love him. My mother was the best to me. She got a tiny bit impatient when she was so bad with the b...	debilyn	6	619	Sep 28, 2005 by search41
	Scared to ask for a sponcer (Preview) I love this board! I have been going to f2f meetings for about 6 weeks and I know that I need a sponcer but I feel some weird shame and fear and so much resistance from myself...like I don't deserve one or someone will say yes but not want to...i am very reluctant to ask and I find it almost impossible to make p...	Maypole	7	832	Sep 28, 2005 by DanaAngel
	Sunday night chair needed (Preview) Hello OP's Could someone please chair the Sunday evening 7pm meeting for me? I leave for the Netherlands tomorrow to visit my brother and his family and will be unable to chair. Thank-you so very much Megan	megan	0	568	Sep 28, 2005 by megan
	Lou (Preview) Yes, I did know my husband for three years before we married, and yes, he did neglect to tell me that he was a recovering alcoholic. I think your word, "recovered" is a word I do not use. He lived in England you see, so our f2f meetings were not on a daily basis. We would see one another every three or four mont...	Diva	2	776	Sep 28, 2005 by Diva
	I did something for ME last night (Preview) Last night I went to a rubber stamping party. I can't tell you how good it felt. I really was hesitant about going because Tues. especially are one of the A's drinking nights. He of course stopped at the bar after work and he knew I was going to this and that I had to leave early. So I just starting dinner - gri...	dogscribe	9	627	Sep 28, 2005 by Karilynn
	just a poem..... (Preview) this is a poem i wrote one day, when i was trying to understand my how alcoholics think and react......not sure how true it is. I AM Sober This is how I see the alcoholic CONSUMED, LIQUID HELL MY MIND SATURATED…EMPTY ...	debi	0	467	Sep 28, 2005 by debi
	A Lesson in Change (Preview) Found this in my email today - just wanted to share. A Lesson in Change It took a major health scare for me to learn that I needed to start paying attention to my life. By Alan Alda I was in an ambulance, bumping down a mountain road for an hour and a half. Someone on a gurney was moaning at the top of his voice...	kismetstrand	4	610	Sep 28, 2005 by toto12
	My work (Preview) Hi Rommies, I just need to get some stuff off my chest about work. I took off some time from work. (since July 4th) I was fighting with my boss and told his boss about his inablilty to manage many times. Which I'm sure got back to him. Well I asked for some time off at the begining of the summer. Well now I w...	nikkilou	4	621	Sep 28, 2005 by toto12
	Anyone heard this before?? (Preview) Hey all I went to a new f2f last week just to see what it would be like. Well I heard two things that were pretty cool to me. 1. A woman said that she had a God Box. And some of you probably know what this is but for those of you that don't. A God Box as she explained it is wher...	browneyes	5	715	Sep 28, 2005 by browneyes
	hp's still working (Preview) well, i guess whether people are interested in what i share or not, i'm going to keep sharing, cuz it's helping. my a just got done with ANOTHER one of his weeks of 5 weeks of vacation a year, and i have been AMAZED at how i have not engaged in the things he does when he is on vacation. usua...	search41	4	488	Sep 28, 2005 by TLC2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.