In recovery, we're learning a new behavior. It's called Be Who You Are.For some of us, this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaptation? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves?Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry?

######ROSIE.....wooo hooo this got tested severally for me....i mean i decided to **take my life back* when i came here and the biggy was the name change!!!!! getting rid of the name of my abuser!!!!!! i got attacked big time by the oldest sibling who drowns himself in a sea of beer each night, and by day he crawls out of his cave and **bashes* me to anyone who will listen (noone is supporting him on this) anyway, he hates me....hates my taking back my life.....hates my **comming out of the closet* and exposing the evil in order to free myself for it.......i am NOT backing off....i did it for ME....MY recovery....MY healing.....MY freedom....i let my needs/wants be known and i followed through on them.....my need/want for a **fresh start--clean name*...was the first thing on the list.....forgiving yet setting **firm* boundaries on the people i choose to keep.....being firm on the ones i chose not to keep in my life......i caused a 9pt earthquake in his household...by NOT stuffing my feelings.....NOT denying what happened and how it impacted me......by NOT suffering in silence with it......his wish was for me to just suffer quietly, and than die from it and be **out of his hair* and here i am **taking care of me* and i am not **busting anyone's boundaries* all the time i kept the focus on me/ my needs/wants...........i took BACK my power....my life....i got attacked by the **non keepers* loudly supported by the **keepers* ...in essence...i separated the wheat from the chaffe........

There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves, we realize we must liberate ourselves. It becomes time to stop allowing ourselves to be so controlled by others and their expectations and be true to ourselves - regardless of the reaction of others.Before long, we begin to understand. Some people may go away, but the relationship would have ended anyway. Some people stay and love and respect us more for taking the risk of being whom we are. We begin to achieve intimacy, and relationships that work.We discover that who we are has always been good enough. It is who we were intended to be.Today, I will own my power to be myself.

########ROSIE...... i went **buns to the wall* on my "hey i am gonna get well!!" journey and i haven't put on the brakes....it is my right to be abundent/ loving/ healtlhy/ and to have self expression....it is my RIGHT!!!!! i freed myself from the denial.....**oh he wasn't that bad* mentality.....i called a **spade a spade* and it reverberated through out my bio relatives.....it was like the **shot heard around the world*.....little rosie was **taking her life back....taking care of rosie*.....i did my step 4.....than 8/9 following step 4.....i **swept my side of the street* and through step 10, i maintain it.......noone controls me!!!! noone **jerks my chain* and a few resent it......i am not the scapegoat in the family anymore.....the toxic ones have to look elsewhere for someone to blame for the **family evil*......i call these people **dispensibles* and they were not wanted in my life anyway.....i got some surprise supporters....people comming out and saying "hey you had the guts to go to court...change your name....get into recovery.....clean up your life.....you go girl!!!" i was shocked at some of the ones who stood on **my side of the fence*.....shocked and pleased....i have more love in my life now.....more respect now.....people feel safe with me cuz they figure "if she can go 'butt to the wall' for something she believes in like that??? she HAS to be ok".......i am what i am....what you see is what you get......NO pretenses....NO **bs behind it* attitude...if i say to someone something, they can count on it!!!!!! my life is my own now....the price of admission to my heart went up but it is affordable to the ones who are safe for me to have in my life....the ones who make me feel good about being me....who are there for me.....whose actions match their words......thank you DONE/ rosie