The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This roller coaster is driving me totally crazy. I've been trying so hard to figure out what is next and where I am going. It seems like I read and go to meetings but where do I go next? It seems like the more I listen the more pain I feel lateley. What do I do with that pain? How do I get rid of the pain especially when I'm not really sure of what the pain is from and what it is tryin to tell me.
I am told this rollercoaster is normal. OK but how do you move on when you dont know where you are going or what to do next? I try applying everything I have learned but Im not sure what is next. How do I know if I've gotten there?
I've run out of ideas.... thoughts as to where to go or what to do. Do I just keep reading... listeneing and one day things will have changed? I know there are changes I need to make but what... when.... how....? My questions are beginning to be endless and my energy is dwindling. I don't want to give up this fight but little by little it seems like latelyt my roller coaster car is going to crash instead of smoothly pulling into the landing.
If you have the book "Courage To Change", October 11 has the greatest little reading about exactly what you are going through. It is all about our tendency to analyze things. Give it a read. ANd if you don't have it, go to a meeting and borrow a book, or buy it! It has been the biggest saving grace for me!
when i go through this stuff, i first make sure i am not too tired too hungry too idle or too angry.....or am i taking care of me enough?????if all seems to be ok, than i just "quiet things down" and i ask my hp by prayer and meditation.......i will lie in my bed....breathe deep....and just ask,....the hard part is really "quieting me down" so i can hear what is being said.........or i get a pencil and paper and i ask verbally my inner child "hey whats up???? are you upset over something??? needing something????" than i put the pencil in my left hand and i just let her write what comes to her head....i just "let it flow" i have learned a lot of stuff......usually when i am on roller coaster and i am not sure what???? its just the changing winds of my life/ recovery.....or maybe old emotions trying to get out........quieting my mind and listening usually brings my answer...........take what works....leave the rest.....peace / rosie
When you don't know what to do next or which way to turn, sometimes the best thing to do is nothing.
Sometimes we just have to sit back, take a breath and pray for our HP to lead us in th eright direction. This one is hard for me, but I am learning that things usually work out better that way, and I feel more peace, than rushing headlong into action, like I am tempted to do.
None of us know what the future holds, and I guess we aren't meant to. Try and turn your life over to your HP and see where it takes you. You might be pleasantly suprised.
