Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Emmie11 · Emmie11

Anyone else having difficulty getting into the chat room?

Flora123 · Flora123

Hi, sorry took me so long, left the folder at daughter's house. Realise you many miles from Istanbul - the meeting there is at the American Hospital, Wed, 6.00 p.m. I have a phone number, must be discreet - she may know of other English speaking meetings, not listed here in London. You can e...

marmare · marmare

As I pulled into the parking lot at the grocery store tonight, I was talking to my son that's in the Air Force, my phone beeped so I said good bye flipped over to the other line, thinking the boys at home are making dinner and have a question....I never looked at the caller i.d. just flipped over and said hel...

nycbt · nycbt

I too am having a problem connecting.

marmare · marmare

I relaxed last night. My boys, 14 & 18 cooked dinner for me!!! It was nice since I don't walk in the house until almost 7:30pm after work. It was so nice just to eat dinner. Thanks to all that responded to my post as I need to just accept things and not question why. This morni...

debilyn · debilyn

Did I get your attention??? (c: Cdb and kitty_light cannot get into the room, it says all IPs are banned. thank you John!! love,debilyn Ps thank you for your help with Haxi. Something just isn't right there.

soberbedwetter · soberbedwetter

my stomack feels like it is pouring out of me and there is a great big hole left where it used to be, my heart is broken i dont know what to, do. that was why vented ealier no hard feelings, sorry to all.

pixel04 · pixel04

Hi, One of my biggest problems is that I tend to be a worst case scenario thinker. I have always figured that if I can handle the worst possible thing that could happen, then everything will turn out all right in the end. I've come a long way in learning to live more in the present. I don't go as far down t...

captcodee · captcodee

I know there are alot of newcomers that come to this website looking for a little bit of hope to make it through another day. I myself did the same thing. So this morning, I woke up, and my HP has guided me here to do a posting. So HP, here are my fingers, go ahead... I love an alco...

nycbt · nycbt

When I first came into these rooms I felt alone and frighten. I didn't think there was a person in this world that could help me. I thought I was in a gaint mess and it was sinking very fast. I would be upset and start throwing stuff, glass, cutting my arm and so far. I would call him so much I thought my phone...

chrissy · chrissy

i just came home from my cousins wedding i got dressed up looked great and had a blAST only cried when one of mine & my husband songs came on. i had to leave the room. i danced my ass off and will be paying for it tomorrow i havent felt that good in years.FOR ONE NIGHT I ALMOST DID NOT THINK OF H...

debilyn · debilyn

May I ask what made you pick that nic? Just curious. For the life of me I could not find the post you are apologing for. Did it get taken off? Ya know, we all make mistakes! Especially when we are sick from being an A or loving one or both! We say things we wish we hadn't of, or do things we wish we ha...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Being Right "When we admit that our lives have become unmanageable, we don't have to argue our point of view... We no longer have to be right all the time."Basic Text p. 56 #######ROSIE....oh yeah, when i realized that i could not was not going to *fight it anymroe*...all of a sudden, i d...

soberbedwetter · soberbedwetter

I am going to see my doctor (psychiatrist) today.

Scamper · Scamper

Hi all. I have been reading a lot of the posts here on this site. I feel much better now, and also am more confident that I am doing the right thing for myself. I have just recycled my former marriage with my A, and we are now separated 'again'. Seems like we were...

VioletScars · VioletScars

My A has been playing poker rather than drinking or using, however, it interferes with our relationship, so is this just another addiction? Should I support it since it is better than drinking or using? He is not using his money or my money, he is using his fathers money who also plays poker with him...

kissers · kissers

Hi Everyone: I have recently started Alanon and have a sponsor. I know that I am supposed to be able to forgive the alcoholic(my father) but I don't ever see that happening. A part of me loves him because he is my father, but another part hates him with every ounce in me. He thought it was funny to watch me in...

Kim · Kim

Hello all: well rough weekend. Kept the focus off of me on on my A and you know where I wound up? Parked down a dark road in my car watching his friends house to see if he was really there....As I sat there I said to myself "Self, this is unhealthy, insane behavior" and drove my private eye butt h...

soberbedwetter · soberbedwetter

is this not a chat room to vent< I thought it was!

captcodee · captcodee

Thanksgiving. Home, family, friends, good eats.... I am from a very small town, surrounded by mountains, fun places to play, and a very safe place where everyone watches out for everyone. This weekend, I took my family "home" for the thanksgiving feast. My 6 yr old daughter wanted...

soberbedwetter · soberbedwetter

-- Edited by canadianguy at 10:23, 2005-10-12

gardengal · gardengal

By the time we reach Alanon many of us resent others whose lives appear less

troubled, envying what we think they have.But in time we discover that each of us are special. I have a unique set of skills, interests and opportunities. I'm asured that I have everthing I need to do what I am here to do to...

Tammy · Tammy

I wanted to update everyone I am home now after leaving my husband of 19 years for over 2 weeks. I have been home now for almost 2 weeks and things are really going well. ( taking it day by day ) My husband the A is going to counseling and so am I then this week we started our first JOINT counseling session.... >

Ratchie · Ratchie

Friends, Today was such a crazy day. My A shows up at work & says he is giving me the newer vehicle that he just "magically" bought. That he is selling my daughter's car, it is a piece of sh** and so on. That he doesn't want to see us riding around in these junk vehicles that will be...

chrissy · chrissy

he said to me that he is no good .that he gives up and he can't handle the pressure and he wants me to move on, he doesn't deserve me. i am a good person an deserve to be happy. i just cried my eyes out and he hung up the phone. and he turned his phone off again. i am so worried he will hurt him...

sg · sg

I have truely surrendered in regards to my A's disease and the future of our relationship. I am working my Program, taking care of myself and the kids and trying to enjoy life as much as I can whether the A. wants to be involved or not. I have tried communicating w/him regarding my needs in our marriage and...

VioletScars · VioletScars

Hi everyone, I am new to posting on the board. Just wanted to let everyone know. Al-anon has been helping me greatly.

cdb · cdb

My post actually starts after marmares reply :) The first one is about the awful things bedwetter wrote on the board today but most of the posts have now been deleted. cdb :) I learned this in alanon as I would see my daughter while drunk out of her mind say things and do things that were totally shocking...

Robin · Robin

I am having a hard time accepting the fact that my 25 yr old daughter has a severe alcohol problem. She lost her 2 kids due to her abuse. She checked herself out of a program after 60 days of sobriety. This is the sixth attempt to remain sober for her in a year. She is in California, I am in Wyoming. Right now, I...

nycbt · nycbt

I had a nice weekend, I was off on Monday. On Saturday my husband went out and I handled it very well. I would normal call him all the time to see when he was coming back. I did well I actually called him twice in a couple hour span. I did call someone on my Alanon phone list and talked to her for a while. Then I cal...

nycbt · nycbt

I am so happy I lose 6 POUNDS. I have been doing situps every other day and walking. I feel that it is showing. I am taking care of myself and it is showing. I just wanted to share with you all.

hadit · hadit

Can someone please explain to me why is it that everytime I start to make progress within myself, I slip and fall behind. Just the other day I did a similar thing, gave in but rectified it. Did for me instead of for him. I am trying to set some boundaries for myself towards my a. He and I as you pr...

marmare · marmare

Well, his parents have now laid down the law. He called because his mother told him that was condition to staying there this week. He started by telling me that he hasn't thought about me all week, (I so much wanted to say that is because he was drunk and/or high, but I didn't) I stayed...

captcodee · captcodee

As you can all plainly see, there is a member who is quite upset... well, very very upset. As we process this, lets remember why we are here. Take what you like, and leave the rest. Obviously he is hurting very bad, and when he processes this, we want it to be a place he is still welcome.&nbs...

mollyann · mollyann

Hi Everyone, I found Al Anon two months ago, and started attending meetings and working my program. I was also going to monthly therapy appointments. My dad was an alcoholic and died when I was very young. I started going to Al Anon meetings because my boyfriend of six months was a heavy drinker....

nycbt · nycbt

I have a very hard time making boundaries. My husband and I have been together for 6 yrs and married for 14 months. He was sober for six months and now has gone back to drinking. We only have one car so when he decides to go out drinking I worry that something might happen like a DWI and I don't know if I want to g...

sg · sg

Just curious if anyone else has dealt w/their A becoming obsessive about certain things. For the 7 yrs I have been married to my A. he goes thru periods of obsession with certain things. It use to be HOURS upon HOURS playing computer games. Then it was things like remote control racecars,...

sandy · sandy

Thank you to all who responded to Why do I get so angry. I feel a little better, I suppose I do, I feel more like crying instead of being mad. I have such mixed emotions, like everyone I suppose or we wouldn't be here. I printed the post 10 Guidelines from our HP. I'll have to study them or get them bea...

sandie123 · sandie123

Well I've decided that it is time for a necessary change! I talked to my husband of 20 years yesterday and he told me he has no plans on ever stopping drinking. He told me he knows I cannot handle his drinking. I have decided that if he still cannot see beyond his bottle.. and it does...

kitty · kitty

I have read that a human must hear something seven times before they are willing to even consider the idea. Not only does making lists help me to remember what I love about myself & life, I make up signs & stick them on the wall, to allow my mind to see positive affirmations or reminders over &am...

mastiff · mastiff

Was reading in my husband's big book a while back and wasn't sure if all were framilar with the chapers that are addressed to us, the Alanoners..... There are 2 of them they are labeled "To Wives" and "The Family Afterward." "To Wives" was written when most of the time the alcoholic in the family w...

Powerless · Powerless

I feel like I am deceiving him. He has asked me several times over the past few days if I am planning on leaving him. I told him no because I did not want to create a scene; especially in front of the children. He told me Saturday that his biggest fear is coming home from work one day to find out th...

Ratchie · Ratchie

Hi Friends, Well I've gotten through week one with my husband moved out. I've still seen him almost every day as he is still getting stuff out of the house, but not staying here anymore. One night when he was here moving more stuff I told him he could eat supper with me & the girls.&nbs...

bd · bd

Hi There I can't believe the kindness of this group. All the hands that have been extended in my time of need. I guess my biggest thing was that I needed to ask. To admit I had all these feelings was a hard thing to do. People who know me just tell me to let it go. I don't hav...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - October 11 My method for dealing with the insanity and chaos while growing up in an alcoholic environment was *not* to deal with it. I escaped into a fantasy world of books and art and remained physically and emotionally removed from what went on around me. My family could ar...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Meditation for the Day "First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift to God." First I must get right with other people and then I can get right with God. If I hold resentment against someone, which I find it very difficult to overcome, I should try to put something else constr...

ditto · ditto

Does anyone know of a good divorce bulletin board -- something along the lines of this one, but for people going through a divorce?

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

I'm new to Alanon/ACOA and I've heard the phrase in my home meeting, "I've been working the steps," and was curious what this meant. Does it mean different things to different people? What types of things are considered working the steps? When do you know you are REALLY working the steps versus just ki...

hannv · hannv

my husband quit drinkin about 3 weeks ago. he was drinking 6-22 beers a night. i told him if he didn't stop drinking for 2months i was leaving. i know he needs to wuit forever but we will work up to that. he is so moody when will it be out of hes system. thanks

chrissy · chrissy

i called our cell phone company and asked for all the # he called since friday & ordered a statement since april of all incoming & out going calls. this is when all this crap started i found 9 phone #s he called over and over again. the longest is 2 minutes first i called...

ditto · ditto

I went to see an attorney about divorcing my a. She told me we had to go to family counseling first. So, after many arguments, I convinced my a that we needed to get help. He was very resistant and only willing to go if it was to "fix" me. He has no problems, he is perfect, and I need...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi all, Exactly 1 year, my A was near death and my life changed forever. I'd like to share this with although it may be a bit long and rambling. But I'm writing from my heart. My A left his other family behind on 9/28/04. He came home to me. Those 2 weeks were filled with drinking and lots of talking u...

Karilynn · Karilynn

The first line of this poem was something that my Mom use to remind herself when she was stressed at the university or at home. I just came across it in one of her books. If this isn't made for us. I don't know what is. Desiderata by Max Erhmann (1952) Go placidly amid the noise and haste, as r...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Hope for Today - October 10 Sometimes I need to work Step One backwards.I don't always recognize when I'm powerless, but I certainly notice when my life becomesunmanageable. Then I remember that usually when I'm feeling insane, I'm forgetting my powerlessnessand trying to control outcomes or oth...

Powerless · Powerless

I only have two days to make a major decision of whether or not I am moving into my parents house an hour away. I will have to do it while my husband is at work. Our two year old is at the beach this week with the in-laws so I really need to do it by Thursday if I am going to do it. I called the school up t...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Hi roomies! I've seen a good deal of posts about crying. My A gave me this box last year when he was in rehab. It has a bunch of his favorite quotes. But this one is particularly good. I showed it to him this weekend as he has been crying a lot lately because now that he's sober, and doing mental health is e...

Emmie11 · Emmie11

Was just listening to the Swamp Ophelia Album by the Indigo Girls and suddenly heard a lot of program in one of my favorite songs of theirs. Just wanted to share it in keeping with the philosophy that the best way out of our problems is to go through them...enjoy! emmie **This is not conference approve...

chrissy · chrissy

I wish I could help him too, unfortunately he is the only person who can help himself. YOU MUST DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO LEGALLY DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM HIM. He is very sick - but even though you are his wife that doesn't mean that you don't love him, or care fo...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Payoffs from Destructive Relationships Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our s...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose. --Billie Holiday Our struggles with other people always take their toll on us. They often push us to behavior we're not proud of. They may result in irreparable rifts. They frequently trigger an emotional relapse. No battle is worth the damage to t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Trouble with Connection (Preview) Anyone else having difficulty getting into the chat room?	Emmie11	3	758	Oct 12, 2005 by pattyann1963
	For Chris (Turkey) (Preview) Hi, sorry took me so long, left the folder at daughter's house. Realise you many miles from Istanbul - the meeting there is at the American Hospital, Wed, 6.00 p.m. I have a phone number, must be discreet - she may know of other English speaking meetings, not listed here in London. You can e...	Flora123	0	591	Oct 12, 2005 by Flora123
	So now I'm confused... (Preview) As I pulled into the parking lot at the grocery store tonight, I was talking to my son that's in the Air Force, my phone beeped so I said good bye flipped over to the other line, thinking the boys at home are making dinner and have a question....I never looked at the caller i.d. just flipped over and said hel...	marmare	7	1016	Oct 12, 2005 by Ratchie
	I have problem getting in (Preview) I too am having a problem connecting.	nycbt	1	692	Oct 12, 2005 by Flora123
	Wednesday (Preview) I relaxed last night. My boys, 14 & 18 cooked dinner for me!!! It was nice since I don't walk in the house until almost 7:30pm after work. It was so nice just to eat dinner. Thanks to all that responded to my post as I need to just accept things and not question why. This morni...	marmare	4	783	Oct 12, 2005 by Flora123
	HANDSOME JOHN!!!! (Preview) Did I get your attention??? (c: Cdb and kitty_light cannot get into the room, it says all IPs are banned. thank you John!! love,debilyn Ps thank you for your help with Haxi. Something just isn't right there.	debilyn	1	647	Oct 12, 2005 by cdb
	empty (Preview) my stomack feels like it is pouring out of me and there is a great big hole left where it used to be, my heart is broken i dont know what to, do. that was why vented ealier no hard feelings, sorry to all.	soberbedwetter	7	820	Oct 12, 2005 by lin0606
	worst case scenarios (Preview) Hi, One of my biggest problems is that I tend to be a worst case scenario thinker. I have always figured that if I can handle the worst possible thing that could happen, then everything will turn out all right in the end. I've come a long way in learning to live more in the present. I don't go as far down t...	pixel04	5	801	Oct 12, 2005 by Flora123
	I love him, but aint gonna live with him.. (Preview) I know there are alot of newcomers that come to this website looking for a little bit of hope to make it through another day. I myself did the same thing. So this morning, I woke up, and my HP has guided me here to do a posting. So HP, here are my fingers, go ahead... I love an alco...	captcodee	6	1229	Oct 12, 2005 by brakkenk
	How far I come (Preview) When I first came into these rooms I felt alone and frighten. I didn't think there was a person in this world that could help me. I thought I was in a gaint mess and it was sinking very fast. I would be upset and start throwing stuff, glass, cutting my arm and so far. I would call him so much I thought my phone...	nycbt	3	755	Oct 12, 2005 by Karilynn
	HI GUYS I HAD A GREAT NIGHT AT MY COUSIN'S WEDDING WITH OUT MY A ,but i still miss him (Preview) i just came home from my cousins wedding i got dressed up looked great and had a blAST only cried when one of mine & my husband songs came on. i had to leave the room. i danced my ass off and will be paying for it tomorrow i havent felt that good in years.FOR ONE NIGHT I ALMOST DID NOT THINK OF H...	chrissy	11	1003	Oct 12, 2005 by tara21403
	soberbedwetter (Preview) May I ask what made you pick that nic? Just curious. For the life of me I could not find the post you are apologing for. Did it get taken off? Ya know, we all make mistakes! Especially when we are sick from being an A or loving one or both! We say things we wish we hadn't of, or do things we wish we ha...	debilyn	0	668	Oct 12, 2005 by debilyn
	its OK to be imperfect (Preview) Being Right "When we admit that our lives have become unmanageable, we don't have to argue our point of view... We no longer have to be right all the time."Basic Text p. 56 #######ROSIE....oh yeah, when i realized that i could not was not going to fight it anymroe...all of a sudden, i d...	rosie light shines	0	575	Oct 12, 2005 by rosie light shines
	mental health (Preview) I am going to see my doctor (psychiatrist) today.	soberbedwetter	2	885	Oct 12, 2005 by gardengal
	Thank you... (Preview) Hi all. I have been reading a lot of the posts here on this site. I feel much better now, and also am more confident that I am doing the right thing for myself. I have just recycled my former marriage with my A, and we are now separated 'again'. Seems like we were...	Scamper	1	856	Oct 12, 2005 by captcodee
	Getting frustrated (Preview) My A has been playing poker rather than drinking or using, however, it interferes with our relationship, so is this just another addiction? Should I support it since it is better than drinking or using? He is not using his money or my money, he is using his fathers money who also plays poker with him...	VioletScars	8	1093	Oct 12, 2005 by hudsond
	Bitterness (Preview) Hi Everyone: I have recently started Alanon and have a sponsor. I know that I am supposed to be able to forgive the alcoholic(my father) but I don't ever see that happening. A part of me loves him because he is my father, but another part hates him with every ounce in me. He thought it was funny to watch me in...	kissers	6	796	Oct 12, 2005 by Emmie11
	the detective part II (Preview) Hello all: well rough weekend. Kept the focus off of me on on my A and you know where I wound up? Parked down a dark road in my car watching his friends house to see if he was really there....As I sat there I said to myself "Self, this is unhealthy, insane behavior" and drove my private eye butt h...	Kim	7	1042	Oct 12, 2005 by leo
	venting (Preview) is this not a chat room to vent< I thought it was!	soberbedwetter	2	905	Oct 12, 2005 by captcodee
	You won't beleive it, but my daughter was lost this weekend!! (Preview) Thanksgiving. Home, family, friends, good eats.... I am from a very small town, surrounded by mountains, fun places to play, and a very safe place where everyone watches out for everyone. This weekend, I took my family "home" for the thanksgiving feast. My 6 yr old daughter wanted...	captcodee	9	1003	Oct 12, 2005 by nycbt
	suicidal (Preview) -- Edited by canadianguy at 10:23, 2005-10-12	soberbedwetter	2	981	Oct 12, 2005 by gardengal
	ENVY ,SOMETHING WE RARELY TALK ABOUT (Preview) By the time we reach Alanon many of us resent others whose lives appear less troubled, envying what we think they have.But in time we discover that each of us are special. I have a unique set of skills, interests and opportunities. I'm asured that I have everthing I need to do what I am here to do to...	gardengal	4	1511	Oct 12, 2005 by gardengal
	Living DAY to DAY (Preview) I wanted to update everyone I am home now after leaving my husband of 19 years for over 2 weeks. I have been home now for almost 2 weeks and things are really going well. ( taking it day by day ) My husband the A is going to counseling and so am I then this week we started our first JOINT counseling session.... >	Tammy	4	951	Oct 12, 2005 by nikkilou
	Survived Week One (Continued!) (Preview) Friends, Today was such a crazy day. My A shows up at work & says he is giving me the newer vehicle that he just "magically" bought. That he is selling my daughter's car, it is a piece of sh** and so on. That he doesn't want to see us riding around in these junk vehicles that will be...	Ratchie	4	760	Oct 12, 2005 by leo
	he called (Preview) he said to me that he is no good .that he gives up and he can't handle the pressure and he wants me to move on, he doesn't deserve me. i am a good person an deserve to be happy. i just cried my eyes out and he hung up the phone. and he turned his phone off again. i am so worried he will hurt him...	chrissy	5	1029	Oct 12, 2005 by leo
	"bad dream" (Preview) I have truely surrendered in regards to my A's disease and the future of our relationship. I am working my Program, taking care of myself and the kids and trying to enjoy life as much as I can whether the A. wants to be involved or not. I have tried communicating w/him regarding my needs in our marriage and...	sg	1	1361	Oct 11, 2005 by canadianguy
	I am new (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new to posting on the board. Just wanted to let everyone know. Al-anon has been helping me greatly.	VioletScars	8	809	Oct 11, 2005 by soberbedwetter
	Focusing on my steps,,,eating disorder and HP (Preview) My post actually starts after marmares reply :) The first one is about the awful things bedwetter wrote on the board today but most of the posts have now been deleted. cdb :) I learned this in alanon as I would see my daughter while drunk out of her mind say things and do things that were totally shocking...	cdb	4	1501	Oct 11, 2005 by canadianguy
	my daughter (Preview) I am having a hard time accepting the fact that my 25 yr old daughter has a severe alcohol problem. She lost her 2 kids due to her abuse. She checked herself out of a program after 60 days of sobriety. This is the sixth attempt to remain sober for her in a year. She is in California, I am in Wyoming. Right now, I...	Robin	3	1073	Oct 11, 2005 by Flora123
	FRIENDS (Preview) I had a nice weekend, I was off on Monday. On Saturday my husband went out and I handled it very well. I would normal call him all the time to see when he was coming back. I did well I actually called him twice in a couple hour span. I did call someone on my Alanon phone list and talked to her for a while. Then I cal...	nycbt	5	733	Oct 11, 2005 by bd
	I lost weight (Preview) I am so happy I lose 6 POUNDS. I have been doing situps every other day and walking. I feel that it is showing. I am taking care of myself and it is showing. I just wanted to share with you all.	nycbt	6	917	Oct 11, 2005 by bd
	Going backwards instead of forward..again (Preview) Can someone please explain to me why is it that everytime I start to make progress within myself, I slip and fall behind. Just the other day I did a similar thing, gave in but rectified it. Did for me instead of for him. I am trying to set some boundaries for myself towards my a. He and I as you pr...	hadit	8	733	Oct 11, 2005 by KathyS
	I talked to him (Preview) Well, his parents have now laid down the law. He called because his mother told him that was condition to staying there this week. He started by telling me that he hasn't thought about me all week, (I so much wanted to say that is because he was drunk and/or high, but I didn't) I stayed...	marmare	7	809	Oct 11, 2005 by hudsond
	LET"S STAY FOCUSED (Preview) As you can all plainly see, there is a member who is quite upset... well, very very upset. As we process this, lets remember why we are here. Take what you like, and leave the rest. Obviously he is hurting very bad, and when he processes this, we want it to be a place he is still welcome.&nbs...	captcodee	2	1200	Oct 11, 2005 by sg
	Antidepressants and Progress with Program (Preview) Hi Everyone, I found Al Anon two months ago, and started attending meetings and working my program. I was also going to monthly therapy appointments. My dad was an alcoholic and died when I was very young. I started going to Al Anon meetings because my boyfriend of six months was a heavy drinker....	mollyann	3	815	Oct 11, 2005 by nycbt
	HARD AT MAKING BOUNDARIES (Preview) I have a very hard time making boundaries. My husband and I have been together for 6 yrs and married for 14 months. He was sober for six months and now has gone back to drinking. We only have one car so when he decides to go out drinking I worry that something might happen like a DWI and I don't know if I want to g...	nycbt	3	712	Oct 11, 2005 by VioletScars
	obsessiveness (Preview) Just curious if anyone else has dealt w/their A becoming obsessive about certain things. For the 7 yrs I have been married to my A. he goes thru periods of obsession with certain things. It use to be HOURS upon HOURS playing computer games. Then it was things like remote control racecars,...	sg	7	1336	Oct 11, 2005 by canadianguy
	I feel a little better, thank you (Preview) Thank you to all who responded to Why do I get so angry. I feel a little better, I suppose I do, I feel more like crying instead of being mad. I have such mixed emotions, like everyone I suppose or we wouldn't be here. I printed the post 10 Guidelines from our HP. I'll have to study them or get them bea...	sandy	3	910	Oct 11, 2005 by nycbt
	Time for a life change (Preview) Well I've decided that it is time for a necessary change! I talked to my husband of 20 years yesterday and he told me he has no plans on ever stopping drinking. He told me he knows I cannot handle his drinking. I have decided that if he still cannot see beyond his bottle.. and it does...	sandie123	6	991	Oct 11, 2005 by nycbt
	7 times (it's short) (Preview) I have read that a human must hear something seven times before they are willing to even consider the idea. Not only does making lists help me to remember what I love about myself & life, I make up signs & stick them on the wall, to allow my mind to see positive affirmations or reminders over &am...	kitty	2	732	Oct 11, 2005 by nycbt
	"To Wives" (and husbands) and "The Family Afterward" (Preview) Was reading in my husband's big book a while back and wasn't sure if all were framilar with the chapers that are addressed to us, the Alanoners..... There are 2 of them they are labeled "To Wives" and "The Family Afterward." "To Wives" was written when most of the time the alcoholic in the family w...	mastiff	8	9130	Oct 11, 2005 by mastiff
	I feel like I am deceiving him (Preview) I feel like I am deceiving him. He has asked me several times over the past few days if I am planning on leaving him. I told him no because I did not want to create a scene; especially in front of the children. He told me Saturday that his biggest fear is coming home from work one day to find out th...	Powerless	8	1009	Oct 11, 2005 by captcodee
	Survived Week One (Preview) Hi Friends, Well I've gotten through week one with my husband moved out. I've still seen him almost every day as he is still getting stuff out of the house, but not staying here anymore. One night when he was here moving more stuff I told him he could eat supper with me & the girls.&nbs...	Ratchie	6	1075	Oct 11, 2005 by nmike
	Feeling Better (Preview) Hi There I can't believe the kindness of this group. All the hands that have been extended in my time of need. I guess my biggest thing was that I needed to ask. To admit I had all these feelings was a hard thing to do. People who know me just tell me to let it go. I don't hav...	bd	5	711	Oct 11, 2005 by pixel04
	unique but NEVER alone (Preview) Hope for Today - October 11 My method for dealing with the insanity and chaos while growing up in an alcoholic environment was not to deal with it. I escaped into a fantasy world of books and art and remained physically and emotionally removed from what went on around me. My family could ar...	rosie light shines	0	884	Oct 11, 2005 by rosie light shines
	getting right with thy brother, even if he is a dung heap (Preview) Meditation for the Day "First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift to God." First I must get right with other people and then I can get right with God. If I hold resentment against someone, which I find it very difficult to overcome, I should try to put something else constr...	rosie light shines	0	829	Oct 11, 2005 by rosie light shines
	Divorce Bulletin Board? (Preview) Does anyone know of a good divorce bulletin board -- something along the lines of this one, but for people going through a divorce?	ditto	1	766	Oct 11, 2005 by KathyS
	What Does It Mean To "Work the Steps"? (Preview) I'm new to Alanon/ACOA and I've heard the phrase in my home meeting, "I've been working the steps," and was curious what this meant. Does it mean different things to different people? What types of things are considered working the steps? When do you know you are REALLY working the steps versus just ki...	BlueCloud	2	5313	Oct 11, 2005 by jj
	husband quit drinking and is moody. when will his end? (Preview) my husband quit drinkin about 3 weeks ago. he was drinking 6-22 beers a night. i told him if he didn't stop drinking for 2months i was leaving. i know he needs to wuit forever but we will work up to that. he is so moody when will it be out of hes system. thanks	hannv	3	3168	Oct 11, 2005 by WakingUp
	ok i did stuff for me today but i also played detective (Preview) i called our cell phone company and asked for all the # he called since friday & ordered a statement since april of all incoming & out going calls. this is when all this crap started i found 9 phone #s he called over and over again. the longest is 2 minutes first i called...	chrissy	4	1037	Oct 11, 2005 by nycbt
	Saw the Therapist today (Preview) I went to see an attorney about divorcing my a. She told me we had to go to family counseling first. So, after many arguments, I convinced my a that we needed to get help. He was very resistant and only willing to go if it was to "fix" me. He has no problems, he is perfect, and I need...	ditto	4	942	Oct 11, 2005 by leo
	One year later (Preview) Hi all, Exactly 1 year, my A was near death and my life changed forever. I'd like to share this with although it may be a bit long and rambling. But I'm writing from my heart. My A left his other family behind on 9/28/04. He came home to me. Those 2 weeks were filled with drinking and lots of talking u...	Karilynn	5	914	Oct 10, 2005 by notsonew1111
	Desiderata (Preview) The first line of this poem was something that my Mom use to remind herself when she was stressed at the university or at home. I just came across it in one of her books. If this isn't made for us. I don't know what is. Desiderata by Max Erhmann (1952) Go placidly amid the noise and haste, as r...	Karilynn	2	1199	Oct 10, 2005 by ajt62
	WOW!! big lesson surrender (Preview) Hope for Today - October 10 Sometimes I need to work Step One backwards.I don't always recognize when I'm powerless, but I certainly notice when my life becomesunmanageable. Then I remember that usually when I'm feeling insane, I'm forgetting my powerlessnessand trying to control outcomes or oth...	rosie light shines	1	801	Oct 10, 2005 by Emmie11
	Only have two days to make a major decision (Preview) I only have two days to make a major decision of whether or not I am moving into my parents house an hour away. I will have to do it while my husband is at work. Our two year old is at the beach this week with the in-laws so I really need to do it by Thursday if I am going to do it. I called the school up t...	Powerless	5	948	Oct 10, 2005 by Emmie11
	Crying (Preview) Hi roomies! I've seen a good deal of posts about crying. My A gave me this box last year when he was in rehab. It has a bunch of his favorite quotes. But this one is particularly good. I showed it to him this weekend as he has been crying a lot lately because now that he's sober, and doing mental health is e...	Karilynn	2	1063	Oct 10, 2005 by nmike
	Song Lyrics (Preview) Was just listening to the Swamp Ophelia Album by the Indigo Girls and suddenly heard a lot of program in one of my favorite songs of theirs. Just wanted to share it in keeping with the philosophy that the best way out of our problems is to go through them...enjoy! emmie **This is not conference approve...	Emmie11	0	666	Oct 10, 2005 by Emmie11
	this is an email from my deacon (Preview) I wish I could help him too, unfortunately he is the only person who can help himself. YOU MUST DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO LEGALLY DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM HIM. He is very sick - but even though you are his wife that doesn't mean that you don't love him, or care fo...	chrissy	1	851	Oct 10, 2005 by Christy
	payoffs from bad relationships (Preview) Payoffs from Destructive Relationships Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our s...	rosie light shines	0	849	Oct 10, 2005 by rosie light shines
	bending with the wind (Preview) *Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose. --Billie Holiday* Our struggles with other people always take their toll on us. They often push us to behavior we're not proud of. They may result in irreparable rifts. They frequently trigger an emotional relapse. No battle is worth the damage to t...	rosie light shines	0	577	Oct 10, 2005 by rosie light shines
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.