The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I only have two days to make a major decision of whether or not I am moving into my parents house an hour away. I will have to do it while my husband is at work. Our two year old is at the beach this week with the in-laws so I really need to do it by Thursday if I am going to do it. I called the school up there and mental health to see what services they could offer my 10 year old son. I have started packing up small items that he won't notice. I even started cleaning the kids rooms to get things ready to pack up. The thing is I was so sure that this was the decision I wanted to make and then I have periods of self-doubt. I will miss my home. I put a lot of money into this home when we bought it. The kids will have to leave their friends; although I know they will make new ones. Staying with their dad while I am saving money for a house will allow them to spend time with their siblings. Does the doubt mean it is a bad idea? Is it normal? I keep thinking that maybe things weren't as bad as I thought they were and we can handle it.
When you say "Does the doubt mean it is a bad idea?" to that I cannot answer. But I can tell you I am always filled with doubt about a lot of the things I do. I think this is something I learned a long time ago.... and it is NOT a good trait. I Know I must start trusting myself and the decisions more and stop doubting myself.
You have already asked your A to leave before and he did not. You sound like you are doing what you need to do for the kids and you and that is great! I wish you the very best! (((((MARY))))))).
We all have doubt when facing major decisions. So yes, that's normal.
I can't answer your question about moving. Only you can. You and the children are the ones living in that situation. Know that whatever decision you make, we're here for you.
Sending you and your family lots of hugs, and love.
Live strong, Karilynn
P.S. With all you've been through are you sure you don't want to change your name from Powerless to Courageous? Remember from the old post? Just a thought.
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I left my ex husband during the day while he was at work. Just like you I spent the week leading up packing all the little things. He was never home and when he was he was drunk so he didn't even notice. I had doubts also. Mine had to do with the fear of being alone. I had been with him for 13 years. My deciding factor was that it was no longer SAFE for me and my daughter. I was tiried of living afraid. And didn't want my daughter to feel the same. Your decision will be one the hardest things you will have to do. Be strong and listen to your gut. It will guide you.
I think the self doubt comes from our lives with an A. You can't believe them all the time so then we start thinking we can't believe ourselves. Pray and know your HP will guide you.
Pray, pray, pray and talk to your sponsor if you have one. If you do not have a sponsor, get one. That is the best advice I can give with regard to effectively and objectively making any major decision.
