The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I really need views from my friends here. I spent the weekend at my parents about an hour away. We had a wonderful visit. They have offered to come down one day this week while my husband is at work and pack up the essentials and let me come live with them, rent-free until I can find a job and a place of our own. My two oldest children's father lives in the same town and said the kids can stay with him during the week. I can get them whenever I want and they can stay with me on the weekends. (They can't stay all week because my mother is terminally ill and can't handle the noise or stress). I will be able to save money and be there to help her around the house and running errands. The problem is that their dad's house is not the best environment, neither is the one they are currently in, but at least up there, it is temporary. My two year old will have to stay down here with her grandmother and I will get her on the weekends as well. My mother-in-law would love for that to be a permanent arrangement. She does not want me to move away with the baby and will be heart-broken when she comes back from the beach and learns I have moved. The baby is with her at the beach right now. I know I am rambling but I have so much on my mind. My son also has severe mental illness and after being on the waiting list for two years is an an exceptional program that really helps him. He is also in a special school. The upside is that stability of getting out of this mess may help stabilize him. What do I do?
Pray about this, and surrender any decision and the outcome to HP's will before taking any action. A prayer I like to use is "God, please direct me into your will with signs that I can recognize so I will know you are present here with me; Thy will be done." I think seeking input from others in the program is a great instinct as well. Stay close to your Al-Anon friends while you decide what to do and through any transition.
I just posted a list called "10 Guidelines from HP" on the message board. It isn't conference approved but it helped me get some perspective on the decisions and changes I am facing and reduced my anxiety, maybe it will help you too.
Perhaps making a list of both pros and cons of each thing might help. You might want to talk to professional about it too, especially about your son and his schooling. When it comes to the children not being in a good position with either of the fathers, is there a lesser of the two evils?
I can't tell you what to do, but I can send you love and hugs and keep you and your family in my prayers tonight. The answers will come when you least expect it. Hang in there.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
