The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"We emphasize setting our house in order because it brings us relief."Basic Text p. 93
Focusing on what others are doing can provide momentary relief from having to take a look at ourselves. But one of the secrets of success in Narcotics Anonymous is making sure our own house is in order. So what does "setting our house in order" mean, anyway?It means we work the steps, allowing us to look at our role in our relationships with others. When we have a problem with someone, we can take our own inventory to find out what our part in the problem has been. With the help of our sponsor, we strive to set it right. Then, each day, we continue taking our inventory to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.
#####ROSIE....i had no sense of self, so i had in the pre recovery days nothing to look at...and what i saw of me??? i couldn't STAND!!!! plain and simple, my abuser and his values were so deep within me, i hated me/ couldn't stand me/ so looking without was all i could do.......than came recovery!! and HAVING to face me....i did the step 4 with my eyes **wide open* at first i thought i was "too screwed up for help" i thought there was **too much damage to fix* and than the slogan **one day at a time* became **one injury at a time*......so keeping it simple i went through my step 4....in the first 10 to 12 months i ranted and raved about the perp and what he caused me to be!!!! i discharged all kinds of emotions...anger/outrage/grief/fear/ and i would go through the cycles like the seasons...when i thought i was in the **summer of my recovery* some more "leaves would turn" and i would enter another autumn of my recovery....so it went!!!! when i got, finally, to the deepest layers of my pain/grief...i realized something!!!!! i was still unable to love me!!! the most basic thing of all and i was POWERLESS!!!!! my sponser talked me into making a casette and/or cd with all kinds of affirms in my own voice...loving me!!! at first i gagged trying to do it!!! saying all that **i love me* stuff **i accept me* stuff....but then after hours and hours and weeks and weeks of listening to it...i am learning that i CAN that i DO love me and i accept me!! AS I AM!!!!!! i am OK as i am!!!! now it seems i draw better circumstances in my life....being alone doesn't bother me so badly, cause i can **hang with me* if there is noone to do anything with.....in fact i enjoy my company now.....
It's pretty simple. We treat others as we would like others to treat us. We promptly make amends when we owe them. And when we turn our lives over to the care of our Higher Power on a daily basis, we can start to avoid running on the self-will so characteristic of our active addiction. Guided by a Power that seeks the best for everyone, our relationships with others will surely improve.Just for today: I will set my own house in order. Today, I will examine my part in the problems in my life. If I owe amends, I will make them.
######ROSIE...in the pre recovery days, i treated others way better than i did me.......now i know that loving the universe **begins within me* ... *love is an INside job*.....the more i can love me the better i can love the universe/God!! when i go wrong/ make mistake, i am no longer afraid to "be wrong" i don't mind being *perfectly imperfect* i can make amends now and not be afraid of rejection/ insults.....i do it for me!!! by aligning myself with my higher power and being willing to cooperate, i find that life is much easier to deal with!!! as i love/ respect me/ keep the focus on me, i can be a better spirit in the universe.....i realize that my *Christ within* is the powerful force behind my healing.....i never thought that i would ever have hope to heal!!! TODAY i work to set my house in order...TODAY i ask myself, what amends do i need to make???? TODAY i do step 10, and give praise/ gratitude as well as "things i need to work on"......steps 4 and 10 are not punishment...they are recovery!!!!!!!!! thank you DONE
Today I too have hope & that is such a HUGE thing for me after walking around having suicidal ideations (hopeless), it would be an escape to just pretend to be rid of the pain & *not here*.
I too have used affirmations forever, even before getting the wonderful book Heal Your Body, by Louise Hay 21 years ago... as an athelete we had to *visalize* our perfomance being executed perfectly. It works... visualizing what you want to happen over & over does enable it (often) to work out just that way.
My copy of Heal Your Body is one that I have bought for others & given as gifts over the years... my copy is so old & has lived in my purse from day one, I actually had to laminate the cover & re-glue the binding more than once. It is like a bible to me, sacred. Now what I need to do is make a new list of positive affirmations & tape them up all over my house, to get me from the negative tapes of "stinkin' thinkin'" that has insidiously crept back in.
My temperature is up now, after being 96* for a week, it's up to 99.5* -- God is still trying to urge me to *relax & rest* not worry & give my problems to him. I deserve to be happy & safe, I am the cool, calm expression of love.
So maybe if I read that aloud, so my subconscious can hear it a million times, it will be so!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
hey kitty, yep, affirms, i thought they wre BS when i first tried them.....L. Hay in her "you can heal your life" had me thinking in a month i could heal my life.......i have been listening to my tapes/ cd's for 42 days now and i am just BEGINNING to see the improved attitude from me about me......the deeper the pain, the deeper the recovery!!!! i find we each have our own timetable ....i go day to day.....sometimes hour to hour but i progress!!!!! speaking of cd's, and tapes, et al...i got to get **listening*.......see ya, your new friend in recovery/ rosie
