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Follow on to boundary given- we have plans of him moving out
(Preview)
I did it! I told him that he has chose to drink he has chosen to stop therapy and AA meeting but he is not the only one that is "living with his decision". He has lied to his therapist, he has lied to me and everyone else yet want me to say it is ok and now it's not. I told him I need three months to make su...
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Helpangel
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3
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433
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progressive memory loss?
(Preview)
I know progressive memory loss is a symptom of continued drinking. I thought that meant blacking out, and forgetting what they did last week. This past week seemed like it is on a 5 minute interval. One minute he is trying to be nice, the next giving me the cold shoulder and telling me how sick he is of us a...
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giraffe13
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10
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653
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ODAT Reading 7-19
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for July 19 speaks about Al-Anon membership. It emphasizes the fact that alanon is a world wide fellowship of people who are working for the same purpose; to build better lives for ourselves and those around us. We do this by positive readings, meditation and prayer and support...
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hotrod
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1
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416
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Yesterday
(Preview)
I had a lovely day yesterday visiting my childhood vacation home. Here is a picture of my sister and I at the carousel that we rode oh so many years ago. "MEMORIES"
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hotrod
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16
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595
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My A boyfriend blaming too much on me
(Preview)
Tonight when I was at my A's place I wasn't going to discuss an issue with him but I decided to anyway. Over the past 6 mos or more the affection between us has decreased on his part really. Not to go into details really but I was uncomfortable around December something we were doing and I decided we should s...
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catlover26
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4
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516
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overreacting?
(Preview)
Hey everyone. I've been lurking here for several weeks, reading posts and attending online meetings. I've now attended a few face to face meetings too, but feel I am just barely beginning to understand the basics of the program and how to apply it. My struggle of the moment is - I'm having a hard time wit...
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cloverleaf
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17
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904
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what is going on w the short term memory loss?
(Preview)
I think my functioning AH is losing it. I really do. No need for details but his short term memory loss is getting worse. He sometimes doesn't even remember doing things. Tonight, it was that he forgot he ordered take out by phone. Me and our youngest come back home shortly after he ordered it and he is mak...
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beacheemom
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9
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629
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C2C 7-18
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 18 speaks about Al-Anon recovery as a long-term process of growth and change. That our efforts to speed up this process will more than likely interfere and we will feel frustrated and depressed. "Easy does it " one day at a time , and "Keep it simple" are...
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hotrod
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2
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436
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Divorce process and crazy (not wishful) thinking
(Preview)
I served my husband with divorce papers last week. Each and every step of the divorce process has surprised me that instead of relief, I actually feel sadder. I have been married for nearly 2 years. I love my husband very much. I think he loves me too, however I believe he has a drinking problem. I k...
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Bluewater
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13
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778
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Insane words of alcoholic just do not end
(Preview)
Alcoholic Bf is sleeping after a 2 day bender of 24 hours non stop. 1st night was good. I took some sleep medication and slept. He came into the bed a few times and tried to wake me up but I told him to let me sleep. I guess he had none to listen to his drunk talk. He woke up at 9 am and started drinking again. I trie...
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joker
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3
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476
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Dealing with an enabling mother and an alcoholic father and his rapid decline.
(Preview)
This is my first time sharing on any support group, I find it is needed to try and clear my head. I am a 20 y/o female who is now married and live over an hour away from my parents who are still married. Growing up I have always said that I did not want my father in my life is he continued drinking. Now that I am old...
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Jmunni29
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6
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5669
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16 years
(Preview)
Today is my 16th anniversary. It had been a long road w a lot of bumps & cracks. But today I still love him even though we disagree a lot & sweat the small stuff sometimes. The program both All anon & AA have taught all of us to accept the things we cannot change including people. It is hard when t...
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Hoot Nanny
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7
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484
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Emotional and verbal abuse
(Preview)
I am trying to figure out if I have been emotionally and verbally abused and need some clarification. My ah is very negative about everything he can complain and I have asked him repeated to stop but he doesn't. He actually comes to my cubicle after bad meetings and complains to me about how bad they are....
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Helpangel
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3
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649
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On a brighter note
(Preview)
I have a friend over on the side of the world where most of you guys live. Anyway I was having a very black time one day a couple of months ago and I caught her for a chat very early in the morning, in her timezone. She lives in Michigan USA and she said that she was going outside to plant sunflowers with her dau...
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missmeliss
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4
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503
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Strong/Miserable
(Preview)
Have a wonderful day everyone!! {{HUGS}}
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Debb
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8
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678
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I think somehow I have lost myself
(Preview)
Annie posted below with the heading. Where have I gone? That has stayed with me for several days now. Because it made me look back and see how I have changed over the years in order to accommodate both husband's and son's drinking. When did I become this person who stays at home most of the time. Not that it...
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deacon
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8
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751
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Overwhlemed with anxiety as my partner enters rehab.
(Preview)
Hello to everyone here, I am new on this site and have come here as a result of feeling overwhlemed with anxiety on many levels and wondered if any one had some advice or wisdom, which I would welcome so much. My partner of over one year is an alcoholic who has been massively in denial despite many losses in...
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Carmel 15
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10
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619
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History of the decline of my marriage to an alcoholic, as evident from my Kindle book purchases
(Preview)
I was going through some stuff today, and came across this list I'd made of the self-help books I bought as I was struggling with stuff in my marriage and coming to terms with the reality of my AH's drinking problem. It's sort of funny (in an ouch/poignant sort of way) how it sums up the progression and I t...
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norasq
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7
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807
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Just Simple A Lovely Sign
(Preview)
Had to share, that I was sitting on my porch just now, thinking about my yearly mammogram coming up this Wednesday afternoon. Of course, not looking forward to Wednesday, it holds a bit more stress for me because I am a four year breast cancer survivor and while I was praying to my HP for strength and goo...
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Debb
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13
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653
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C2C 7-17
(Preview)
Courage to Change reading for July 17 speaks about being detached from others and being able to learn how to be happy whether the alcoholic is drinking or not.It points out that is important for us to keep in mind that we have our own life and our own destiny and it's must be separated from that of the other...
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hotrod
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1
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413
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Feel Anger
(Preview)
I feel pure anger and rage at my alcoholic bf. In fact I can not stand to be near him. I just hate his guts with a passion. All he does is drink, sleep, work. And now that his brother has passed away, he is really drinking. He flies across the country on Sunday for a week. I can not wait for him to leave. Just to no...
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joker
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8
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533
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Giving away the aggravation
(Preview)
my AH has gotten us in a terrible financial fix..so ive been taking a new tack. here is what happened today urgent notice from our provider of phone/internet past due/shut off possible. im the user of those things mainly but ah wanted to take care of it . he took out a high credit limet credit card and proo...
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YARNCRAZY
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4
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660
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Can anyone tell me...
(Preview)
...when I'm going to be perfect? 'Cause I'm getting tired of doing the same ol' thing over and over again! I mean, yeah, my general outlook is way better than it used to be, and yeah, my anger is far better under control than it used to be, and I'm not adding to my resentment warehouse anymore, and yeah, I sp...
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almostThere
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9
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721
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Pictures and ponderings.
(Preview)
On my birthday last Friday, daughter asked me to go down to the waterfront with her so that she could take some pictures. It was rainy and extremely windy and cold and yet I felt really content watching her climb up pylons and hang precariously over edges to take her pictures. I was struck hard by how very...
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missmeliss
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8
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918
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Delusions of the Alcoholic
(Preview)
I have started attending AA meetings again. I do not have a drinking problem, however, its the only 12 step meeting I can attend during the day as there is no al-anon meetings during the day. The more I attend the meetings I am truly amazed how powerful, cunning, baffling this disease is as well as how wid...
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joker
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3
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2719
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Unrealistic things the alcoholic says
(Preview)
I am just sitting her and laughing as I remember what the active alcoholic BF said last week. He was complaining about the amount of money spend on food. He says I only eat 4 dollars a day as I am not home. Since I work night shift and I sleep all day. I am not around to eat. Quit cooking meals and letting food go...
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joker
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7
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850
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C2C 7-16
(Preview)
C2C reading for July 16 speaks about the importance of taking the time to relax because of the benefit to our mental health and well-being.The reading goes on to state that society supports the fact that we should be busy all the time, so that it is often very difficult for us to find the time to jus...
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hotrod
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4
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486
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How to Break up with an Alcoholic II
(Preview)
To follow up on my first post, like I said... "the way to break up with an alcoholic is NOT to get into a relationship with another one." And unfortunately that is just what I did. Like I mentioned in my last post, I had started dating a guy that I had met in an Alzheimer's support group. He had jus...
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Overcome
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4
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886
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finally more secure
(Preview)
This is a short post. I am feeling more contentment & even joy on some days. Thanks to God & the al anon program I feel a sense of security my life. I even welcome a new day! That is a miracle & so am I.
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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367
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C2C 7-15
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 15 speaks about how Al-Anon is an individual program and that each member can work at their own pace. We are each encouraged to keep showing up , use the tools we are comfortable with and move through recovery at our own pace. There are no should's or timetables. The readi...
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hotrod
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9
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575
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When to work the Traditions?
(Preview)
I am new and working on Step one. My f2f group is covering each Step every 2 weeks which I think is fast but I know there is much work I will do on my own. I wish I could find more info on the "Step work Board" but I haven't been able to find it. One forum member did give me some excellent questions on S...
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catlover26
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2
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279
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Firmly planted in step one...again
(Preview)
Well....after having my moment of clarity a week and a half ago...I have been to three f2f meetings...started reading my c2c again and tonight dug out my old Paths to Recovery book to read up on step one. It was so nice to go back to my home group and see so many familiar faces. To be welcomed back with open a...
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Nightingale
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4
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646
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Trying to accept my boyfriend the way he is
(Preview)
I am dating an alcoholic 16 yrs older than me. The age difference I do have to take into account with some of his actions but I don't want to make excuses for him. I think with him growing up with a stern mother and being bullied as a child plus the fact he was drinking from ages 18-42 has left him now at age 71 so...
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catlover26
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3
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606
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Past The First Year And Want To Rip My Hair Out
(Preview)
Please forgive me, everyone. Trying not to vent too much but I can't take it anymore. My partner is one year and two months sober and I am very proud of him and his heartfelt fight for sobriety. We love each other very much despite the bumps in our road (right now they feel pretty huge) but I believe we ha...
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Herbalist13
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24
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758
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The Arizona Sky - I am grateful
(Preview)
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Cathyinaz
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13
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553
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Tangible rewards. (A long ramble, feel free to ignore)
(Preview)
When I met my A, I had been on a strict personal program of "financial reform". After being horribly financially irresponsible in my early 20's I had used motherhood as the catalyst for big changes and I learnt to be very conscientious, credit-free and frugal. I found I'm quite good at it an...
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missmeliss
|
12
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620
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How do I detach
(Preview)
I've only been going great to al-anon for a week and 2 days. I have heard so much about how i have no control over my ah'a drinking. 8 days ago it got so scary that I decided to leave. I've never even threatened to leave before and then there he was wanting to try to make it work. I told him that if he would try to q...
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Darcy0408
|
5
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601
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Getting past the family...
(Preview)
The disease progresses in the next generation with my Daughter in law attempting to handle the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical conflict of our disease as manifested by my eldest son. He is everything I've learned about alcoholism over the past 36years of recovery. So is she yet she is s...
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Jerry F
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3
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486
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|
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Hope for Today July 14
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's HFT opens with the first five words of the serenity prayer, then goes on to consider what the word 'serenity' means. For the writer, serenity is thinking of self and others with honor, respect, reverence due as a child of God. One of my most common 'steps backward' is w...
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yanksfan51
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10
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704
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True
(Preview)
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el-cee
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4
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321
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Three nights sleepless
(Preview)
i was doing so good in my new apt the last three nights i can not go into deep sleep my xah is in my brain when i am sleeping. i think of him all night tossing and turning. it must be still be part of the process of letting go. I hope it ends, i am tired of all this emotional stuff with him. i am so use to taking care...
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Mirandac
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24
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737
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A quick birthday ESH
(Preview)
Short on time, but had to share. Went to dinner with the A. Haven't done that in a while. mid-dinner she announced that in 3 weeks she's going to take a trip. I won't get into the details of where or why, but she takes this trip with a family member a few times a year, it's for a good purpose and I don't objec...
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almostThere
|
7
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549
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cant say no
(Preview)
Hi,this is my first time here not sure what to do , my problem is I cannot say no to my son who has a drink problem.If he asks for money I give it to him even though I know he will spend it on drink . Why can I not simply say no.
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softie
|
10
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660
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Where have I gone?
(Preview)
I have a very high functioning AH. He pays all the bills except childcare, my gas, groceries and the garbage bill. He goes to work everyday and works anywhere from 50-60 hours a week. He almost never calls in. When he does he is either actually sick or its due to staying up to late and drinking too much...
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Annie1
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13
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8463
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C2C 7=13
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 13 speaks about not being present in our lives or in the present moment because we are too worried about the past or the future. Al-Anon,helps me to see that I have choices about my attitudes. We don't have to see life as a tragedy or torment ourselves with past mistakes or futu...
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hotrod
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4
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475
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Well this is a new one
(Preview)
My ah has been acting mad at the world lately. He was sober this time two months when in the last two weeks I found out he was drinking again. After another weird fight my ah tells me the reason he has slipped twice in the last two weeks is because he knows GOD is disappointed in him bc he missed his opportunit...
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Helpangel
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8
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552
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I just heard that "Almost There "has a Birthday today as well
(Preview)
Happy Birthday my Friend .I pray that this day and the following year brings you joy, peace and serenity.
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hotrod
|
10
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522
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I thought this would be a turning point, for the better!
(Preview)
After several years of living with an alcoholic, the decision for inpatient treatment was finally realized. Now that my "qualifier" has been in treatment for several weeks, I am beginning to wonder if it will work. The anger continues and even seems to increase. The blame is non stop....
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kwas911
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3
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597
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C2C 7-12
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 12 speaks about Tradition five and discusses the importance of the section that suggests that we attempt to:" encourage and understand our alcoholic relatives." This Tradition also defines the purpose of the Al-Anon program. It points out that in order for us...
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hotrod
|
6
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538
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How to Break up with an Alcoholic
(Preview)
Well, the first thing you don't do is get into a relationship with another alcoholic! LOL On a more serious note though, no one can tell you to break up, or not break up with your alcoholic; that is a decision you and only you can make. For me, it was ten long years of trying to make something work that was nev...
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Overcome
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13
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1036
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X is giving my son beer
(Preview)
Among other things, my X is giving my son beer and is using our son as a dumping ground for his emotional problems. He throws me under the bus to our son, he bemoans his life and tells our son how depressed he is and how he's a loser, etc. These are all things he did to me and now he's found a new audience. My so...
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andromeda
|
10
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600
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Dealing with the women in my partner's AA group
(Preview)
Hello, I am new to this forum and am hoping someone can give me some help. I have been with my partner for 3 1/2 years now. We live together and have a good relationship. I am supportive of his recovery and do not interfere with meetings, his recovery is his own. I am not in recovery, I do not drink alcohol an...
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Scarlet71
|
5
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593
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Listening to recovering alcoholics
(Preview)
I went to an aa convention last night and im blown away, as always, by the honesty and awareness shared by the speakers. The love and understanding and gratitude shown in the room by everyone is brilliant. I think about this disease as one disease, just alcoholism and how it affects everyone. The alcoh...
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el-cee
|
18
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1007
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Nothing changes
(Preview)
when nothing changes and HOLY COW .. NOTHING has changed. I guess if I didn't know that before I totally get it again and it was a God thing telling me be so glad you are out of that mess. My XAH definitely has the attitude if it doesn't slap him in the face he doesn't need to deal with it. Part of the reason ap...
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SerenityRUS
|
8
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536
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A piece of my crazy: still surprised at the lying
(Preview)
I've had a number of rude awakenings this week, and one big one has to do with realizing how much I still need to work on my own recovery. I've been separated from my functioning alcoholic husband for almost 2 years, after a 20+ year marriage. He continues to deny that he has a problem with alcohol, but at...
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norasq
|
7
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463
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What Jerry F late for a meeting!!!!
(Preview)
Yes he was and I'm here to tell on him. HAH!! surprise surprise I thought he was 45 minutes early and then the room was assembled and the fellowship was handling the issue of recovery and no one...not anyone even took notice or issue of my lateness except me. How the hell did this happen...I can neve...
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Jerry F
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4
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439
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Life on Life's Terms.....This Week Has Been A Struggle
(Preview)
On Tuesday of this week, a 22 year old young mother of one was shot and killed in a nearby city. She was a classmate of my sons, and has had her own struggles with the disease. The last time I saw her, she had brought my son home from a meeting. Now, she is dead, her parents are devastated and this has thrown m...
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Iamhere
|
15
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637
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Happy Saturday!
(Preview)
Sittin in my favorite spot watching the birds hop around the yard because I just mowed then watered. Hummingbirds flitting around. I've even seen a few American Goldfinches - love those yellow birds! Coffee, birdsong, no roosters crowing, no dogs yapping, peaceful sound of water running - I even ha...
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likemyheart
|
5
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415
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Need help with online meeting info please
(Preview)
Hello all, I'm desperately trying to get into the online meeting here, but seem to be somehow lost. I "think" it should be in full swing now, but I logged in to what I thought was the right thing and I am the only one "chatting"... Under the name Gidget. Please help with instructi...
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Doingmybest
|
3
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397
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ready to date???
(Preview)
I've met a man. We have had a good time talking at dinners. It's been nice. He seems nice. I've only had dinner a couple of times with him. My radar is up and I feel like I'm on guard all the time. I'm always looking for red flags when we text or talk. I want to date but I don't know if I'm ready. I feel like maybe I s...
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texasgal
|
8
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463
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