Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Braavos · Braavos

Hello everyone. I'm new to the Al Anon forum. My husband is an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years and married for 4 years, we also have a 16 month old son. My husband has always been a problem drinker, he always overdid it and every social event or occasion inevitably resulted in him drinking, usu...

oceanpine · oceanpine

This is a very confusing time. I have been out of my house for 2 weeks. My 10 and 12 yr old sons our at home with him. I have no idea if he is drinking but at least they are all just at home, not really going anywhere. I have had a strong desire to not be in the same house with him for at least 14 months - since he first...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Abf turned up here late Wednesday night. Surprisingly he didn't walk right in but stood on the doorstep, handed me my long-lost bag, and told me "I came to give your bag back. I'd love to come in and see you but if you don't want me here, I'll turn around and go home and no hard feelings, I'll just tell y...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 26 speaks about identifying illusions that can make our lives unmanageable. One of the illusions. that the meditation speaks about is that we act" as if" we have the power to control others--. once we accept. our powerlessness-as is suggested in the fir...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I wish I could bring Al-Anon to my family, certain friends. I have gotten so much good peace and contentment from having it in my life I wish I could share it with people and help them achieve it as well. Visiting my family I sat back and cringed at the way people who care about each other miscommunicated, i...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 25. speaks about the anger, resentments, self-pity ,and guilt that we carry about within us. prior to finding Al-Anon. The reading suggests that by working the Al-Anon program the answer became apparent--." We lacked courage to validate ourselves" If w...

mjferg · mjferg

I am a neat freak,a perfectionist and a little obsessive about my house.The first thing I do when I move into a new place is make it pretty.I can't stand clutter and chaos,it actually makes me physically anxious.The problem is I ran out of time on the house I bought and we had to move in early.So I am livin...

nightlight · nightlight

My boyfriend is a binge drinker alcoholic (as opposed to a daily drinker alcoholic, i guess). He just told me this in an email. We're on a break right now because of his drinking. We've been together for 2 years and we frequently would hang out and drink together. I would have 3 or 4 and stop, but he would ke...

Starting Again · Starting Again

It's been over a year since I have posted here but nothing much has changed. My husband is still drinking and hiding it (not very well). I have had to set some boundaries, keep the bottles in the garage away from the kids, I don't want him to ever drive with kids in the car (he's had 1 dui that he thinks is a flu...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I'm a bit of a wild spirit sometimes free sometimes wild sometimes both .. I did have a lovely young man tell me I was someone who was unforgettable and that got proven the other night .. LOL! I took off to St Louis the other night it was a cheap flight, I was meeting a girlfriend of mine who flew in on busine...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Briefly I will summarize my yesterday. I had a real birthday yesterday! What I really mean is an unreal birthday. I spent all day w/ my AH. We ate,shopped & saw a movie. Come to think of it my dad & step mom pretty much did the same when they could especially when I was younger. That was a side note. A...

Paradigm · Paradigm

Hello everyone, My wife who previously had an addiction problem before we met and went through the program to get clean 15 years ago started drinking a few years ago. It has slowly progressed into a serious problem and I am pretty new to understanding this and trying to get her help. With some help from h...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Well, I am going to be Clinical Director of an adult rehab after a year and a half of being director of a program for Juvenile Delinquents. Obviously a big raise but it's anxiety provoking. It is mostly just change. It is going to be a stressful transition. Short staffed where I am at and also where I am go...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

A MUST READ :The Awakening~~ The Awakening~~ A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a ch...

Kekelle · Kekelle

My husband and I have been together since high school - 24 years. Married almost 20. Have 3 amazing kids. And he has been an alcoholic since I met him. After years of begging, pleading, threatening everything I could think of, I reached the end of my rope. I threw out one more life preserver to him an...

Flower49 · Flower49

Saturday was the last day of marriage counseling. Our counselor was incredible and awesome and no words can ever express my gratitude. I had some angst with leaving his care, but I know if I use all tools available to me, it will be just fine. Strange to think we finished because at this time last year my A...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for July 24. speaks about the 11th step--praying for the knowledge of HP's will and the power to carry it out. It suggests that doing. HP's will does not mean that we do something spectacular every day., but that we stay present in our lives . Listening to the small voice within and th...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon asks us to consider our interactions with Newcomers to the Program. The text reminds us of what it can feel like when we first come to the program: like we are on the verge of drowning. It does not take long to benefit from the AlAnon wisdom of focusing on hea...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I got to always keep in mind that i have no control over my ah's alcohlism. This past week,he was appearing less drunky and appeared just to be drinking a few beers and eatting. i told him how nice it was to see him productive,aware and 'more with it' tyhis past week. oh im just drinking beer,he said with a s...

ccb223 · ccb223

Hi all. I'm hoping someone can give me a thought or perspective on this. My qualifier is my parent; she is a functional alcoholic, however lately I think her depression is getting worse. I am the child of two functioning alcoholics, though my dad committed suicide when I was a teen. It's 7 years later, a...

Helpangel · Helpangel

I couldn't hear anymore about him, I just couldn't. I know I wanted to wait till Bulls got paid but I just couldn't. I just got mad when he was talking the usual manipulation games and told him that I couldn't do it anymore. I actually told him to take his stuff and his money and go on a post it note! Yes folks I...

hotrod · hotrod

We are beginning a new round of the Steps on the Step Work BoardThe first Step has been posted Learn How The Twelve Steps Work. Please join in and share your thoughts Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60562974/step-one-alanon-7-2015

Jozie · Jozie

Funny how when I look back from where I started to where I am Now, I would like to think I have Moved some Mountains I think Growing up under the thumb of active alcoholics & addicts makes me someone at times I cant even understand When I got to Al-Anon almost 7yrs ago, I was Broken I Couldnt tell you wha...

PUPPY · PUPPY

I am new to this, but have been going to Al-anon meetings in my area. We haven't heard from our son since his release from a 3 months jail stent for possession of drugs. This has been going on since he was 15, he is now 30. He has stole from us, lied to us, made up stories about us; yet as his mother I kept givi...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, July 23 speaks about developing/ or reclaiming our sense of humor. It points out that when we first enter the rooms we have lost our ability to see the humor in life as we always seem to view it as chaotic and filled with tragedy and pain. The reading goes on to suggest that the...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi Everyone! Things are still going well for me, and my AW is still sober and working her AA program, and I am moving closer to finding a sponsor in my face to face group. This weekend, we are going north to the small hunting shack my grandfather built. The foundation is sinking on one side, and the shack...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Last time I posted, in Feb, I was just moving out from my house. My AH had done the same bad behavior one more time - secretly drinking and then acting aggressively mean to me. I had told him that I would leave if he did that again. So I did. I haven't posted again because I did have support from friends and my...

holdemfoldem · holdemfoldem

My daughter is 26, is an alcoholic for some years now. She got clean and was staying with friends in a recovery house. She was walking the walk and talking the talk. I was looking forward to meeting up with her, (as I'd done before), at an AA meeting where she was to receive acknowledgement for staying...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I just need some positive thoughts and prayers at the moment. My mom is being extremely manipulative and wants us to come to California. All of a sudden now that she realizes we are not moving to California she's going on about how she can't really help. I was counting on her helping and this really pu...

hopefortoday29 · hopefortoday29

I've been reading the step 4 section of Paths to Recovery recently as I start my own inventory. The four words that keep coming up are love, kindness, honesty and balance. There are a couple of suggestions about using key words as the backbone of our inventory for example managing, martyrdom, manipul...

Debb · Debb

Have a wonderful day my friends! {{HUGS}}

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for July 22 speaks about the fact that it is a waste of time to attempt to understand the disease of alcoholism by studying books on the disease. It points out that most of us do this because we believe the more information we have, the better we will be able to cope with the disease and...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I worked up the nerve to text my ex, "I am not comfortable with you being in my house and I don't want it to happen again" The reply I got back was "I needed to be sure our daughter isn't living in a scene from trainspotting" Trainspotting is a 90's cult movie about heroin addicts. Odd...

sweeetr · sweeetr

So my AexH is in 1/2 way house for now and then possibly some jail time. I take care of our son, and I got his two BIG dogs, by default..... At the time I didnt mind as I knew they would continue to be neglected and not fed or watered as I was only one that did that when I realized he didnt .. He left them in horribl...

Quakeroat · Quakeroat

last nights face to face was a wonderful thing to behold and feel. The meeting took off as a discussion rather than step 7 and everyone just knew it was right to let it be. the two latest members said more last night than they have said so far in a meeting and we are getting to know them as a group with real unit...

Hopeswims22 · Hopeswims22

if I have learned anything from these FTF meetings, is that life is too short. I get myself wrapped up in who is right or wrong or the insanity conversation that doesn't make any sense. So tired of both. Today I want peace and happiness. Pretty simple stuff but so hard to find each day. It is a hide and se...

astallaslions · astallaslions

I don't know if I believe in coincidence in life anymore, and as much as the word manifestation seems silly, it feels real. I had been having a relapse moment the last couple of weeks after some failed romantic flings inspired me to lament my relationship with my A, and wish that I could reconnect with h...

Jozie · Jozie

The Cycle of Sickness is So Deep in My Family... And I have Slowly Learned the "Carrot & the Stick" Manipulations they have always Strived on.... BUT... I Didn't Bite :D

I had Engaged in Conversation with my Older Sis (Currently Dry Drunk) and tho she does not have a Program, I do t...

missmeliss · missmeliss

A and I seem to be doing a really stupid dance. I invite him to come over and spend time with me when daughter is at her dads. He can't make it, every time and then he wants to come over a dew days later when daughter is home and asks a long, boring and predictable string of questions about "aren't we ever...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have found myself being rude when people around me start talking about other people around them. Not that they are talking badly of them, just pointing out what and how they do things contrary to their way and blah, blah, blah. I hate it! I don't want to hear about how someone else parents and how they li...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

good morning everyone- Today's reading is about unity and how it applies to our alanon groups and our recoveries. For me the power of unity is felt every time I come to this site and read a post that makes me think 'oh yes I have been there' or ' I have felt just like that'. The strength in unity has been fel...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I was on vacation last week with AH who is currently in recovering and doing well and my parents and brother's family. We were set to all have dinner at my parents house and it ended up getting started late (shocker with four kids under 6 all running around). Well we finally get ready to sit down and eat a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well it's been a week and rather bore you all with the details of what is and isn't happening in my life .. let's just say .. the kids and I are moving to AZ .. no plan .. yes I'm a little wild that way and yes hoping and praying for the best. This feels so right. I knew when I married my X it was a mistake .. havin...

Overcome · Overcome

We humans don't like change. We like our routines, our ducks to be in a row, and to be secure. Living with an alcoholic rarely gives us that. Even life after the alcoholic has left, rarely gives us that. I have found that I have to be content in the moment. Live for Today. Just for Today. Change is inevitabl...

Hope2000 · Hope2000

AH was sober for 8mos before relapsing. I have forgotten how crazy I get since I went so long. He last few months have been bad. My children and I both afraid of what we may have coming home to us. He likes to argue, I try to not engage and that seems to anger him more. The screaming starts from him, leaving, dr...

Jerry F · Jerry F

tried my hand at biscuits this morning the outcome seems more like a ceramic class fail. I haven't tried one of these rocks yet as my wife volunteered to do gravy when she gets home from work. In the mean time I got a response to a text inquiry I made earlier to my daughter. I got an off handed heads up fro...

missmeliss · missmeliss

OK a little back story first. My ex nuisance is a sneaky sort of person who likes to invade people's privacy, gather information and then store it up in case he ever finds a way to benefit from it. I used to say he'd turn in his own mother for a $100 reward and I'm not even joking; he used to routinely spy on an...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

Where do those come from? If I didn't have any, I wouldn't feel let down or sad - right? So how did they get in my head? I expect the man I marry to do "a", "b", "c" - but why? We never discussed these before we got married. We didn't write up a contract? Yet I hold him to...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for July 20 speaks about some of the destructive ways in which we attempt to control and manipulate others . It points out that wanting to "know" why the alcoholic drinks or when sober why he does what he does is a question or itch for which there is no scratch. The reading go...

mjferg · mjferg

I feel like I am in a very old rowboat full of holes,every time I patch a hole a new one appears.That pretty much sums up my financial situation.Every time I think I can breathe a sigh of relief something else goes wrong.Today I have to miss class because of car problems again,grr!I know I really need a sa...

mericose · mericose

Good Morning! Thanks for taking the time to read.. I'm not sure if this is the right place for me but I'm not sure where else to turn for support. My story is a long one and probably the same as many of yours so I'm hoping to hear from those who have been or who are where I am right now. Wife and I used to drink...

catlover26 · catlover26

We talked this afternoon and I asked him again what he meant by some of what he said to me because some of it didn't make really any sense. Because of his age, health problems and lack of social contacts what he says doesn't come out right. This can be very difficult to deal with because I usually have to ask...

Tashaking18 · Tashaking18

Hi. I'm new to the group. I have a alcoholic mother. She's Been drinking ever since I can remember (I'm 33 now) and still and constant struggle. over the years my family and I have done different approaches at trying to get mother the help she needs But receently I've fought my own battle with my husband...

catlover26 · catlover26

I posted last night but I still have so much on my mind. It is so hard after 1 1/2 yrs being with my A that I think it could all be over. He really knows me better and I felt sincere love from him more than my ex of 30 yrs. But after 8 mos things started being like a roller coaster. He also has ptsd so I never could tel...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Good morning everyone. Just a recap my ah after slipping twice and telling me the reason he doesn't stop is because he knows that GOD is disappointed in him for not becoming a minister. I told him that I understand that since he will not forgive himself for this sin and since it is the reason it causes him t...

joker · joker

I am so grateful today as my Alcoholic BF has left the city to return to his hometown across the county. I feel so happy and relieved not to have his presence around. I feel such relief not having to deal with his selfish behavior. I told him to take his time, even a month to figure out his life and what he want...

el-cee · el-cee

Hi, I'm back in Italy. It's so beautiful, my higher power is right with me here. Thanks alanon for giving me the courage to live and the eyes to see the beauty. I'm so grateful.x

Helpangel · Helpangel

I did it! I told him that he has chose to drink he has chosen to stop therapy and AA meeting but he is not the only one that is "living with his decision". He has lied to his therapist, he has lied to me and everyone else yet want me to say it is ok and now it's not. I told him I need three months to make su...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I know progressive memory loss is a symptom of continued drinking. I thought that meant blacking out, and forgetting what they did last week. This past week seemed like it is on a 5 minute interval. One minute he is trying to be nice, the next giving me the cold shoulder and telling me how sick he is of us a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for July 19 speaks about Al-Anon membership. It emphasizes the fact that alanon is a world wide fellowship of people who are working for the same purpose; to build better lives for ourselves and those around us. We do this by positive readings, meditation and prayer and support...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	He has relapsed. Again. (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm new to the Al Anon forum. My husband is an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years and married for 4 years, we also have a 16 month old son. My husband has always been a problem drinker, he always overdid it and every social event or occasion inevitably resulted in him drinking, usu...	Braavos	4	695	Jul 27, 2015 by pinkchip
	He won't move out so I am (Preview) This is a very confusing time. I have been out of my house for 2 weeks. My 10 and 12 yr old sons our at home with him. I have no idea if he is drinking but at least they are all just at home, not really going anywhere. I have had a strong desire to not be in the same house with him for at least 14 months - since he first...	oceanpine	12	811	Jul 26, 2015 by a4l
	An unexpected visit. (Preview) Abf turned up here late Wednesday night. Surprisingly he didn't walk right in but stood on the doorstep, handed me my long-lost bag, and told me "I came to give your bag back. I'd love to come in and see you but if you don't want me here, I'll turn around and go home and no hard feelings, I'll just tell y...	missmeliss	3	535	Jul 26, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 7-26 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 26 speaks about identifying illusions that can make our lives unmanageable. One of the illusions. that the meditation speaks about is that we act" as if" we have the power to control others--. once we accept. our powerlessness-as is suggested in the fir...	hotrod	4	689	Jul 26, 2015 by hotrod
	I wish I could (Preview) I wish I could bring Al-Anon to my family, certain friends. I have gotten so much good peace and contentment from having it in my life I wish I could share it with people and help them achieve it as well. Visiting my family I sat back and cringed at the way people who care about each other miscommunicated, i...	likemyheart	5	719	Jul 26, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 7-25 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 25. speaks about the anger, resentments, self-pity ,and guilt that we carry about within us. prior to finding Al-Anon. The reading suggests that by working the Al-Anon program the answer became apparent--." We lacked courage to validate ourselves" If w...	hotrod	6	660	Jul 26, 2015 by catlover26
	chaos and anxiety! (Preview) I am a neat freak,a perfectionist and a little obsessive about my house.The first thing I do when I move into a new place is make it pretty.I can't stand clutter and chaos,it actually makes me physically anxious.The problem is I ran out of time on the house I bought and we had to move in early.So I am livin...	mjferg	4	614	Jul 25, 2015 by hotrod
	Newbie here. Should I stay or should I go? (Preview) My boyfriend is a binge drinker alcoholic (as opposed to a daily drinker alcoholic, i guess). He just told me this in an email. We're on a break right now because of his drinking. We've been together for 2 years and we frequently would hang out and drink together. I would have 3 or 4 and stop, but he would ke...	nightlight	13	948	Jul 25, 2015 by tiredtonite
	It never stops (Preview) It's been over a year since I have posted here but nothing much has changed. My husband is still drinking and hiding it (not very well). I have had to set some boundaries, keep the bottles in the garage away from the kids, I don't want him to ever drive with kids in the car (he's had 1 dui that he thinks is a flu...	Starting Again	11	711	Jul 25, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Some funnies .. (Preview) So I'm a bit of a wild spirit sometimes free sometimes wild sometimes both .. I did have a lovely young man tell me I was someone who was unforgettable and that got proven the other night .. LOL! I took off to St Louis the other night it was a cheap flight, I was meeting a girlfriend of mine who flew in on busine...	SerenityRUS	3	644	Jul 24, 2015 by hotrod
	birthday fun & then some... (Preview) Briefly I will summarize my yesterday. I had a real birthday yesterday! What I really mean is an unreal birthday. I spent all day w/ my AH. We ate,shopped & saw a movie. Come to think of it my dad & step mom pretty much did the same when they could especially when I was younger. That was a side note. A...	Hoot Nanny	6	656	Jul 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	Looking for help/advice and an interventionist in the NJ area (Preview) Hello everyone, My wife who previously had an addiction problem before we met and went through the program to get clean 15 years ago started drinking a few years ago. It has slowly progressed into a serious problem and I am pretty new to understanding this and trying to get her help. With some help from h...	Paradigm	6	628	Jul 24, 2015 by Yankeerose
	New Job (Preview) Well, I am going to be Clinical Director of an adult rehab after a year and a half of being director of a program for Juvenile Delinquents. Obviously a big raise but it's anxiety provoking. It is mostly just change. It is going to be a stressful transition. Short staffed where I am at and also where I am go...	pinkchip	25	1055	Jul 24, 2015 by el-cee
	The Awakening~Author unknown (Preview) A MUST READ :The Awakening~~ The Awakening~~ A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a ch...	Breakingfree	8	829	Jul 24, 2015 by el-cee
	New to this (Preview) My husband and I have been together since high school - 24 years. Married almost 20. Have 3 amazing kids. And he has been an alcoholic since I met him. After years of begging, pleading, threatening everything I could think of, I reached the end of my rope. I threw out one more life preserver to him an...	Kekelle	11	689	Jul 24, 2015 by Debb
	Graduated Marriage Counseling (Preview) Saturday was the last day of marriage counseling. Our counselor was incredible and awesome and no words can ever express my gratitude. I had some angst with leaving his care, but I know if I use all tools available to me, it will be just fine. Strange to think we finished because at this time last year my A...	Flower49	8	825	Jul 24, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	C2C 7-24 (Preview) The C2C reading for July 24. speaks about the 11th step--praying for the knowledge of HP's will and the power to carry it out. It suggests that doing. HP's will does not mean that we do something spectacular every day., but that we stay present in our lives . Listening to the small voice within and th...	hotrod	3	585	Jul 24, 2015 by Debb
	ODAT 7-24 Newcomers to Al-Anon: Am I Helping or Overwhelming? (Preview) Today's reading from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon asks us to consider our interactions with Newcomers to the Program. The text reminds us of what it can feel like when we first come to the program: like we are on the verge of drowning. It does not take long to benefit from the AlAnon wisdom of focusing on hea...	Enigmatic	3	3144	Jul 24, 2015 by Debb
	i have no control (Preview) I got to always keep in mind that i have no control over my ah's alcohlism. This past week,he was appearing less drunky and appeared just to be drinking a few beers and eatting. i told him how nice it was to see him productive,aware and 'more with it' tyhis past week. oh im just drinking beer,he said with a s...	YARNCRAZY	4	651	Jul 24, 2015 by Jozie
	Emotional Blackmail (Preview) Hi all. I'm hoping someone can give me a thought or perspective on this. My qualifier is my parent; she is a functional alcoholic, however lately I think her depression is getting worse. I am the child of two functioning alcoholics, though my dad committed suicide when I was a teen. It's 7 years later, a...	ccb223	6	1128	Jul 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	I did it, he is gone! I couldn't wait another second! (Preview) I couldn't hear anymore about him, I just couldn't. I know I wanted to wait till Bulls got paid but I just couldn't. I just got mad when he was talking the usual manipulation games and told him that I couldn't do it anymore. I actually told him to take his stuff and his money and go on a post it note! Yes folks I...	Helpangel	4	807	Jul 24, 2015 by Jozie
	Step One on the Step Board (Preview) We are beginning a new round of the Steps on the Step Work BoardThe first Step has been posted Learn How The Twelve Steps Work. Please join in and share your thoughts Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60562974/step-one-alanon-7-2015	hotrod	2	450	Jul 24, 2015 by The1975jen
	Crazy, Tragic, Sometimes Magic, Awful Beautiful life :) (Preview) Funny how when I look back from where I started to where I am Now, I would like to think I have Moved some Mountains I think Growing up under the thumb of active alcoholics & addicts makes me someone at times I cant even understand When I got to Al-Anon almost 7yrs ago, I was Broken I Couldnt tell you wha...	Jozie	8	657	Jul 24, 2015 by Jozie
	how much detactment? (Preview) I am new to this, but have been going to Al-anon meetings in my area. We haven't heard from our son since his release from a 3 months jail stent for possession of drugs. This has been going on since he was 15, he is now 30. He has stole from us, lied to us, made up stories about us; yet as his mother I kept givi...	PUPPY	7	807	Jul 23, 2015 by Jerry F
	C2C 7-23 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, July 23 speaks about developing/ or reclaiming our sense of humor. It points out that when we first enter the rooms we have lost our ability to see the humor in life as we always seem to view it as chaotic and filled with tragedy and pain. The reading goes on to suggest that the...	hotrod	3	544	Jul 23, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	Getting Ready for a Challenge (Preview) Hi Everyone! Things are still going well for me, and my AW is still sober and working her AA program, and I am moving closer to finding a sponsor in my face to face group. This weekend, we are going north to the small hunting shack my grandfather built. The foundation is sinking on one side, and the shack...	Skorpi	12	839	Jul 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	overwhelmed with grief today (Preview) Last time I posted, in Feb, I was just moving out from my house. My AH had done the same bad behavior one more time - secretly drinking and then acting aggressively mean to me. I had told him that I would leave if he did that again. So I did. I haven't posted again because I did have support from friends and my...	oceanpine	9	820	Jul 23, 2015 by Mirandac
	Hi, new to this forum (Preview) My daughter is 26, is an alcoholic for some years now. She got clean and was staying with friends in a recovery house. She was walking the walk and talking the talk. I was looking forward to meeting up with her, (as I'd done before), at an AA meeting where she was to receive acknowledgement for staying...	holdemfoldem	11	4152	Jul 23, 2015 by holdemfoldem
	Manipulation (Preview) I just need some positive thoughts and prayers at the moment. My mom is being extremely manipulative and wants us to come to California. All of a sudden now that she realizes we are not moving to California she's going on about how she can't really help. I was counting on her helping and this really pu...	SerenityRUS	5	787	Jul 23, 2015 by Debb
	Love, kindness, honesty and balance (Preview) I've been reading the step 4 section of Paths to Recovery recently as I start my own inventory. The four words that keep coming up are love, kindness, honesty and balance. There are a couple of suggestions about using key words as the backbone of our inventory for example managing, martyrdom, manipul...	hopefortoday29	2	749	Jul 23, 2015 by Debb
	Ultimate Detachment (Preview) Have a wonderful day my friends! {{HUGS}}	Debb	4	1250	Jul 23, 2015 by Jerry F
	ODAT 7-22 (Preview) The ODA T reading for July 22 speaks about the fact that it is a waste of time to attempt to understand the disease of alcoholism by studying books on the disease. It points out that most of us do this because we believe the more information we have, the better we will be able to cope with the disease and...	hotrod	2	532	Jul 22, 2015 by Debb
	It is written. (Preview) I worked up the nerve to text my ex, "I am not comfortable with you being in my house and I don't want it to happen again" The reply I got back was "I needed to be sure our daughter isn't living in a scene from trainspotting" Trainspotting is a 90's cult movie about heroin addicts. Odd...	missmeliss	9	810	Jul 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Dont know what to do ...DOGS (Preview) So my AexH is in 1/2 way house for now and then possibly some jail time. I take care of our son, and I got his two BIG dogs, by default..... At the time I didnt mind as I knew they would continue to be neglected and not fed or watered as I was only one that did that when I realized he didnt .. He left them in horribl...	sweeetr	4	811	Jul 22, 2015 by Flower49
	Discussion group turned out to be a winner (Preview) last nights face to face was a wonderful thing to behold and feel. The meeting took off as a discussion rather than step 7 and everyone just knew it was right to let it be. the two latest members said more last night than they have said so far in a meeting and we are getting to know them as a group with real unit...	Quakeroat	4	554	Jul 22, 2015 by Jerry F
	Joy and hope gotta have (Preview) if I have learned anything from these FTF meetings, is that life is too short. I get myself wrapped up in who is right or wrong or the insanity conversation that doesn't make any sense. So tired of both. Today I want peace and happiness. Pretty simple stuff but so hard to find each day. It is a hide and se...	Hopeswims22	5	762	Jul 22, 2015 by Jozie
	Seeing A again after months apart--clarity and gratitude (Preview) I don't know if I believe in coincidence in life anymore, and as much as the word manifestation seems silly, it feels real. I had been having a relapse moment the last couple of weeks after some failed romantic flings inspired me to lament my relationship with my A, and wish that I could reconnect with h...	astallaslions	8	678	Jul 22, 2015 by Mike B
	I didn't Bite.... (Preview) The Cycle of Sickness is So Deep in My Family... And I have Slowly Learned the "Carrot & the Stick" Manipulations they have always Strived on.... BUT... I Didn't Bite :D I had Engaged in Conversation with my Older Sis (Currently Dry Drunk) and tho she does not have a Program, I do t...	Jozie	6	745	Jul 22, 2015 by a4l
	Nonsense. (Preview) A and I seem to be doing a really stupid dance. I invite him to come over and spend time with me when daughter is at her dads. He can't make it, every time and then he wants to come over a dew days later when daughter is home and asks a long, boring and predictable string of questions about "aren't we ever...	missmeliss	8	662	Jul 21, 2015 by Jerry F
	Acceptance (Preview) I have found myself being rude when people around me start talking about other people around them. Not that they are talking badly of them, just pointing out what and how they do things contrary to their way and blah, blah, blah. I hate it! I don't want to hear about how someone else parents and how they li...	Breakingfree	6	893	Jul 21, 2015 by hotrod
	Hope for Today. July 21 (Preview) good morning everyone- Today's reading is about unity and how it applies to our alanon groups and our recoveries. For me the power of unity is felt every time I come to this site and read a post that makes me think 'oh yes I have been there' or ' I have felt just like that'. The strength in unity has been fel...	yanksfan51	3	759	Jul 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	Crazy woman in the house (Preview) I was on vacation last week with AH who is currently in recovering and doing well and my parents and brother's family. We were set to all have dinner at my parents house and it ended up getting started late (shocker with four kids under 6 all running around). Well we finally get ready to sit down and eat a...	Jazzie18	6	1143	Jul 21, 2015 by Jill
	Sooo .. LOL .. oh boy .. (Preview) Well it's been a week and rather bore you all with the details of what is and isn't happening in my life .. let's just say .. the kids and I are moving to AZ .. no plan .. yes I'm a little wild that way and yes hoping and praying for the best. This feels so right. I knew when I married my X it was a mistake .. havin...	SerenityRUS	9	991	Jul 21, 2015 by Jozie
	Resisting Change (Preview) We humans don't like change. We like our routines, our ducks to be in a row, and to be secure. Living with an alcoholic rarely gives us that. Even life after the alcoholic has left, rarely gives us that. I have found that I have to be content in the moment. Live for Today. Just for Today. Change is inevitabl...	Overcome	4	747	Jul 21, 2015 by Breakingfree
	What to do? (Preview) AH was sober for 8mos before relapsing. I have forgotten how crazy I get since I went so long. He last few months have been bad. My children and I both afraid of what we may have coming home to us. He likes to argue, I try to not engage and that seems to anger him more. The screaming starts from him, leaving, dr...	Hope2000	14	966	Jul 21, 2015 by Jazzie18
	practice, practice PRACTICE!! (Preview) tried my hand at biscuits this morning the outcome seems more like a ceramic class fail. I haven't tried one of these rocks yet as my wife volunteered to do gravy when she gets home from work. In the mean time I got a response to a text inquiry I made earlier to my daughter. I got an off handed heads up fro...	Jerry F	21	1217	Jul 21, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Gahhhh, so angry :-( (Preview) OK a little back story first. My ex nuisance is a sneaky sort of person who likes to invade people's privacy, gather information and then store it up in case he ever finds a way to benefit from it. I used to say he'd turn in his own mother for a $100 reward and I'm not even joking; he used to routinely spy on an...	missmeliss	32	1233	Jul 21, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Expectations.... (Preview) Where do those come from? If I didn't have any, I wouldn't feel let down or sad - right? So how did they get in my head? I expect the man I marry to do "a", "b", "c" - but why? We never discussed these before we got married. We didn't write up a contract? Yet I hold him to...	LedfootJenny	14	1051	Jul 21, 2015 by Breakingfree
	ODAT 7-20 (Preview) The ODAT reading for July 20 speaks about some of the destructive ways in which we attempt to control and manipulate others . It points out that wanting to "know" why the alcoholic drinks or when sober why he does what he does is a question or itch for which there is no scratch. The reading go...	hotrod	4	768	Jul 20, 2015 by vorpal
	money woes! (Preview) I feel like I am in a very old rowboat full of holes,every time I patch a hole a new one appears.That pretty much sums up my financial situation.Every time I think I can breathe a sigh of relief something else goes wrong.Today I have to miss class because of car problems again,grr!I know I really need a sa...	mjferg	10	837	Jul 20, 2015 by catlover26
	New to this (Preview) Good Morning! Thanks for taking the time to read.. I'm not sure if this is the right place for me but I'm not sure where else to turn for support. My story is a long one and probably the same as many of yours so I'm hoping to hear from those who have been or who are where I am right now. Wife and I used to drink...	mericose	4	626	Jul 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Going to try again with A (Preview) We talked this afternoon and I asked him again what he meant by some of what he said to me because some of it didn't make really any sense. Because of his age, health problems and lack of social contacts what he says doesn't come out right. This can be very difficult to deal with because I usually have to ask...	catlover26	1	572	Jul 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	New to group! (Preview) Hi. I'm new to the group. I have a alcoholic mother. She's Been drinking ever since I can remember (I'm 33 now) and still and constant struggle. over the years my family and I have done different approaches at trying to get mother the help she needs But receently I've fought my own battle with my husband...	Tashaking18	6	657	Jul 20, 2015 by hotrod
	The reality when the relationship is probably over (Preview) I posted last night but I still have so much on my mind. It is so hard after 1 1/2 yrs being with my A that I think it could all be over. He really knows me better and I felt sincere love from him more than my ex of 30 yrs. But after 8 mos things started being like a roller coaster. He also has ptsd so I never could tel...	catlover26	3	525	Jul 19, 2015 by catlover26
	Boundary given (Preview) Good morning everyone. Just a recap my ah after slipping twice and telling me the reason he doesn't stop is because he knows that GOD is disappointed in him for not becoming a minister. I told him that I understand that since he will not forgive himself for this sin and since it is the reason it causes him t...	Helpangel	11	897	Jul 19, 2015 by andromeda
	Grateful today (Preview) I am so grateful today as my Alcoholic BF has left the city to return to his hometown across the county. I feel so happy and relieved not to have his presence around. I feel such relief not having to deal with his selfish behavior. I told him to take his time, even a month to figure out his life and what he want...	joker	2	594	Jul 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Im serene in paradise (Preview) Hi, I'm back in Italy. It's so beautiful, my higher power is right with me here. Thanks alanon for giving me the courage to live and the eyes to see the beauty. I'm so grateful.x	el-cee	5	549	Jul 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Follow on to boundary given- we have plans of him moving out (Preview) I did it! I told him that he has chose to drink he has chosen to stop therapy and AA meeting but he is not the only one that is "living with his decision". He has lied to his therapist, he has lied to me and everyone else yet want me to say it is ok and now it's not. I told him I need three months to make su...	Helpangel	3	579	Jul 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	progressive memory loss? (Preview) I know progressive memory loss is a symptom of continued drinking. I thought that meant blacking out, and forgetting what they did last week. This past week seemed like it is on a 5 minute interval. One minute he is trying to be nice, the next giving me the cold shoulder and telling me how sick he is of us a...	giraffe13	10	808	Jul 19, 2015 by Jerry F
	ODAT Reading 7-19 (Preview) The ODA T reading for July 19 speaks about Al-Anon membership. It emphasizes the fact that alanon is a world wide fellowship of people who are working for the same purpose; to build better lives for ourselves and those around us. We do this by positive readings, meditation and prayer and support...	hotrod	1	570	Jul 19, 2015 by Debb
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.