Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

oops35062 · oops35062

I am a two time offender. I qualify for both rooms of AA and Alanon. I met and married a man in the rooms 2 1/2 years ago. He had gotten 8 years in December. Never saw his relapse coming(Or maybe I did and didn;t want to acknowledge it). A little over 48 hours ago my life has been turned upside down. He ha...

manas · manas

My A is in "forced" rehab (we don't really have interventions here). The program is for 3 months and they teach some good things like Yoga, meditation, control tools and techniques, education about Alcoholism, Alcoholics, AA (in house and outside if the person is not likely to run away :-...

el-cee · el-cee

What i mean is. The 'normal' idea society feeds us about how to love is very dangerous, life threatening for an active drinker and the affected partner. We, who end up with alcoholic partners think we love very deeply. Look at all we do, in the name of love. We very often take verbal, maybe physical abuse...

Crau · Crau

It happened. And funny how even with the alchohlic "out" of my life. I am impacted. His counselor called me to get some information about how the week was going. I told him "I don't know I asked him to move out last week", which the counselor had no idea. Hence why I'm still lis...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I have been in a dysfunctional alcoholic marriage for so long that I am not sure sometimes what is an appropriate way of behaving and what is being selfish. I have an opportunity to take a road trip with my sister (with whom I am very close to emotionally but she is 2 states away so we don't get a lot of time t...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

I know it sounds like I'm whining... I must be truthful despite my embarrassment of this trait however. I want my AH to do his step work first... he has more time in the program this time and I want HIM to make amends. He isn't. He got his one year coin and proceeded to immediately stop all meetings and...

marniep222 · marniep222

I can't stop the obsessive behaviors that I've managed to have my whole life. No matter how my brain tells me to stop, my heart leads me to more and more trouble. My qualifier, who's been in recovery for 9 years, told me that I'm selfish, I only want what I want, no matter what detriment it may bring to his...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

I am just wondering if anyone has had this similar situation and has some good tips on how you were able to detach and not dwell. My AH who had been sober (on his own, no program) for three months had started in the past week to relapse. I knew it was coming and even though I am sad about it and disappointed, I...

stillsmilin321 · stillsmilin321

I am looking for suggestions for how to connect at face to face meetings. I hear "pick up the 1000 lb phone" and "get a sponsor" but I'm really struggling to make connections. I've attended two different groups almost every week since July. The first three months I went mostly t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading shares about being human, making mistakes and growing through the Al-Anon program. We are able to learn from our mistakes, and continue our growth in self-awareness as we progress in the steps. What a gift that we can own our mistakes, make amends and keep moving forward - we can cha...

lookingup · lookingup

"I am right where I'm suppose to "so I told my sister and she interpreted it like you mean your right where God our hp wants you to be allowing my bf to live here with me so my sister says that's wrong,which it is wrong I'm living in sin,but I am where I'm suppose to be right here living in the moment...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C points out that growing up around alcoholism tends to teach us self neglect. (Boy does it ever!) The reading points out that many of us tend to push ourselves to ignore our own well being even when we are ill and simply keep on keeping on. The writer suggests that through al-anon they discove...

joker · joker

Just read some things on emotional blackmail on the board here and one of the things that really struck me is by listening to the ABF is I am giving him attention. By giving him attention I am saying your a great guy with great wisdom and I need to listen as I will learn something from your great wisdom that i...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone It's been a while but I'm doing good. Tomorrow will be the day my son is released from prison and I pray for him to come out ready to start a new and continued life. I am grateful for all of you that has helped me so so much....I will never forget. God bless you all and thank you ((( hugs )))

jvbaker · jvbaker

Hi I've never done this before so I'm not sure where I should start. I have always loved an addict from the time I was a just a young girl. My life has had numerous addicts and I have never been without trying to love one. I became really great at helping people with addiction to alcohol find sobriety. I oft...

joker · joker

I had been reading recovery material this morning and I had a moment of clarity. I need a team of people in my life, not one person. I need a person to do the physical things that require doing, a person to address the mental, emotional, and spiritual. I can not depend on one person to be all these things to m...

joker · joker

I just had another moment of clarity. I was reading on fear on this board and I see that fear has kept me stuck. Fear of rejection, fear of being judged bad, fear of being alone, fear of not being loved, fear of stepping into the unknown, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of abuse, fear of t...

joker · joker

When I met my husband I used to ask him to protect me from her (isn't that crazy and irrational) I felt safe. This quote from a member is what I read on fear and OMG it hit me why I am still with my ABF. I am looking at him for protection, to feel safe! I am looking to my ABF to make me feel safe! I am looking to him to...

joker · joker

Just wanted to share some insights and to let you all know that my daughter appears to be stabilizing on her new medication! I am so grateful! The home front appears stable with her for the moment! The nurse is coming to see her again today! The ABF drank from Thursday to late Saturday night, slept all day...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm finding it hard to stand up for me when it comes to the addicts in my life its like their master manipulates and blamers so therefore I'm the one ,I live with 2 addicts one being my sister and my boyfriend live here with me,and omg it gets bad I'm to blame for everything and because I'm so easy going and go...

Rachel Blue · Rachel Blue

I just wondered if there was any kind of connecting type service with mentors here.... like people who will text and/or skype.

sunflower22 · sunflower22

Hello all, I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years now. He is my drug of choice. Currently he has been sober for 4 months, but not in any recovery or therapy. Our relationship for the past 4 months has been so chaotic. We constantly fight, almost everyday. Our fights are started by him almost 100...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

So after a pretty good run of working my program and feeling pretty darn good, I was awoke at 4:30 am Monday with the feeling of something amiss in my bedroom. I had earplugs in, but I could sense a "disturbance in the force". The moon was full and so I was able to make out the shape of my AH bounc...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is a comparison between recovery and the detailed work of sewing. The writer states that before program she would be so critical of her work she would never wear it, or would be quick to point out its imperfections. The program and recovery work helped her to s...

Crau · Crau

for two year I was told "don't loose faith, think positive, have hope". Even when my ExAbf was taking the things out of our home and crying while playing with the dog they said "I hope to be be back here some day, hooe to have this family back" hope is a tricky thing for me now because...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The C2C for today discusses the 4th Step inventory that the program suggests as part of the 12 Steps. ur fourth step inventory shows us where we have empty spaces, and what our short-comings are - just as an inventory in a retail space points out gaps on the shelf of out of stock items. The fourth step does...

el-cee · el-cee

What if someone told you that you are the same as your alcoholic partner, would you believe them? I would have argued against this before alanon. Ive became aware, with amazement, that i have the disease of alcoholism, exact same disease, minus the drinking as the alcoholics in my life. I just never kn...

Rachel Blue · Rachel Blue

Hello all, I am asking this question not to cause controversy but because I am very new to this whole experience. My husband is currently in detox in the hospital. The past five days have been horrible. Firstly I had no idea he was drinking this much as I am rarely home. It sounds crazy but I truly didn...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Interesting when i reflect back on my life pre recovery .. I can see (and admit today) there wasn't higher power in me in truth .. there was more often than not lower power such as fear anger confusion .. wasn't until i began joining the fellowship that i began to experience occasions of higher power suc...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

This week an issue came up with my AH - He was upset about something and wanted to reach me. I was in a group meeting and had my phone on silent. Near the end of the meeting I checked my phone -- "Call me please, when you have a moment" was his text at 9am and one missed call. I sent a text back at that ti...

Crau · Crau

I have incredible guilt right now for ending things with my boyfriend who was just days home from treatment. Guilt that I wasn't patient enough, that I let my emotions overshadow my ability to make a sound decsision. But he's moved out and its done. Back story at what brought me to my breaking point...

Crau · Crau

I am tired of the thoughts that constantly flow through my head about what I should have or could have done differently. I'm tired of being crippled by the obsession of needing to know what tomorrow will bring or if that one thing I did or say was the right or wrong thing. I'm tired of needing external va...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

12 days ago I posted about the peace I felt in spite of the craziness in my home. Then shit got really real last night (4:30 am) as my AH fell down stumbling to bed and gashed his head on the bedside table. Blood everywhere. Now there is no mention of the incident tonight and I am not sure if talking about it wi...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Just did my taxes and because we got laid off and had to cash in our pensions to survive, we owe a s___ load of money to IRS. Im hoping I can work with them on payment plan. Im sooo stressed,what with having divorce papers served, dealing with home ownership transfer,my sis in law and no job. The only thing g...

Browneyedgirl66 · Browneyedgirl66

Hi I'm KG and my boyfriend is in the midst of a 2 week bender. He has been in a rapid relapse cycle for the past 4 months or so, and like so many others say, he is Mr Wonderful when he is sober - I've never gotten along better with a man than I do with him. When he drinks, he becomes a belligerent arse and I want no...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Hi all, I am really stuck. I have made progress, and am increasingly realizing how stuck I am. I moved out of my house last July, because my AH refused to go. 18 months earlier, a counselor had recommended he move out for awhile. This was before I knew he was secretly drinking - we had terrible fights an...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I am not sure why I so strongly feel the need to post today, but I do, so here it is.My AH is retired, and 13 years older than I. We live about 17 miles from town, in a gated lakeside community. His world is very small. Mostly he works around the house on projects I wrack my brain to come up with, plays comput...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Every since I joined Al anon I have been an open book. Sometimes I think it is due to the fact that I have this illness. Bipolar disorder. I am not a Bipolar. I have the disease. Anyhow, I realized that 30 years ago, I had an awful experience that changed my life. I am a new person w/ a new outlook on life. I actu...

Jerry F · Jerry F

g The MIP family has known my story for a long time and that I am also a double winner; AA membership. It is frightening when the disease kicks in during very clean, clear peaceful times and demands attention. Some here know that I've been in program for 37 years and don't ever want to return to the ins...

petey49 · petey49

Hi. I am new here and to al-anon. I need some help as to the best way to respond in a certain situation. When he drinks he gets depressed and starts saying things, in a very casual conversational tone, like "I am contemplating the best way to kill myself", "I have checked the trusses in th...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I have heard it mentioned many times, but have never read an explanation of what it is. I'm guessing it is assets you have on your side, i.e. good health, resources, etc... but would love any more enlightenment, suggestions or examples. Thank you!

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how difficult decision making is when our standards are impossible to achieve. The writer shares that he/she wanted to make decisions that would deliver exactly what was desired...or they chose to avoid making them completely. He/She learned in Al-Anon that no one ca...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

Hi All - Lying in bed, miserable, haven't reached out to anyone in days - so thought I'd give this a shot. I've been through so many medical tests and doctors' appointments this week... And what am I lying here OBSESSING about? Ex-AF... Endlessly. It won't stop. I've tried listening to my Al Anon au...

Britta · Britta

My husband has been sober for 6 months and he recently admitted to having a drink because he was feeling sick and shaky. Now today I found out he has been having drinks every now and then since the first incident. He constantly says things like he's a failure with sobriety and our relationship. I really d...

brkdrms · brkdrms

I've been married to my Alcoholic for 26 years. The last 4 we have been separated. My 4 kids really prefer not to be around him. It took me years of analyzing every argument, praying for guidance, checking through my logic a million times to trust myself that it was okay to separate. It got to the point tha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's reading addresses tradition 10- that al-anon has no opinion on outside issues. The reader notes that thanks to this tradition, they were able to have a close relationship with their sponsor, even though the sponsor had personal views and opinions that would ordinarily conflict with their...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I dont know if this is good or not but AH,s sister has taken over care of him and his financial picture etc. It sounds good but is awkward for me as we[sis in law] were never close at all from her choice. Now she is calling me with all kinds of questions and ideas for handling things. Im angry because where was...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I'm making some changes to my estate planning provisions - previously, I had a set up a simple three way split for my three kids - two normal kids, and my active alcoholic/addict younger son that I've shared about here before. I'm coming to feel that it wouldn't be in my younger son's best interests to j...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

You know I try .. lol. My job situation is not good which is actually ok. I am currently looking for another one and will need to make another leap of faith. I will miss working downtown and really would rather stay in that area .. I love it is putting it mildly. So far the purging has been 7 people in the l...

pixie · pixie

That's what my AH had. 14 25 oz. cans of beer at least in 6 hours. I'm sure he had more before I noticed that and he had six full cans besides that in the back of his vehicle. Buy evening he was staggering all over the place. I was waiting for him to fall so I could step over him and leave him laying there to get hi...

mom 2 five · mom 2 five

My A has been dry for 3 months; the alcoholic behaviors and attitudes are still here.... I am new to this group (found it just a week or so ago) and new to Al Anon... looking forward to going to a F2F meeting this week. I have learned to "detach" and walk away, find something else to do when he ac...

BobbiLaila · BobbiLaila

Hi, husband has been hospitalized for alcoholic hepatitis, almost died of acute liver failure. I'll skip out on the whole history but he tried AA before and didn't like it, just upset him more. He says he knows he can't ever drink again, and that he has no desire to drink. Therefore he hasn't accepted an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading for today discusses that we learn in Al-Anon that we do not have to accept unacceptable behavior! We don't have to tolerate violence or abuse and we have choices that perhaps were not readily recognizable before recovery. We can set limits that offer us guidelines without trying to con...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and to be an old timer watching newcomers work it and create miracles in their lives is a gift from HP. At last nights Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG the oriental family who have been attending for about a month came back. We used the Paths To Recovery second step section...read and then share an...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I dont post often but I read everyday. The posts here have helped me tremendously... My AH has been "trying" to work his program since April (10 months). He suffered one relapse in August and I believe a second in October (he nevered admitted to it). I have been trying to detach as much an...

andromeda · andromeda

I wanted to explore the topic of being in acceptance of others, people whom you are in romantic relationships or friendships with, and knowing what your needs are within the context of that relationship. It's something I struggle with. I have learned to accept people for who they are and I accept my...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C discusses step 4 - "making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves" and the fact that this step can help us to finally see that we are in a state of sickness just as much as the alcoholic in our lives may be. The writer notes that they were struck by the obsessive way t...

joker · joker

Update on my home situation since my last post. ABF sobered up and went back to work for 4 days. I did share with him what he had done to me while drunk-grabbing me and what I intend to do if this happens again. I was very clear that if he grabs me again while drunk, there will be no further talk, the police will...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Haven't written in awhile but pop in and read posts to keep me going. I've been chugging along in my life, dealing with the good stretches and then empty promises, one step forward, two steps back. Taking care of my kids, doing my work, trying to detach like crazy in my marriage. Sometimes it works. I...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I heard last night that a member from my 'other' fellowship lost her battle with the disease over the weekend. She was 50 years old, and leaves behind a child (son), a loving and supportive home group, a loving family and many who don't understand. She'd been in the program and sober for 10+ years. She...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	No defense over the first drink (Preview) I am a two time offender. I qualify for both rooms of AA and Alanon. I met and married a man in the rooms 2 1/2 years ago. He had gotten 8 years in December. Never saw his relapse coming(Or maybe I did and didn;t want to acknowledge it). A little over 48 hours ago my life has been turned upside down. He ha...	oops35062	2	416	Feb 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	A will be out soon; time to let go? (Preview) My A is in "forced" rehab (we don't really have interventions here). The program is for 3 months and they teach some good things like Yoga, meditation, control tools and techniques, education about Alcoholism, Alcoholics, AA (in house and outside if the person is not likely to run away :-...	manas	2	531	Feb 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Are you wrong to 'love' an active alcoholic? (Preview) What i mean is. The 'normal' idea society feeds us about how to love is very dangerous, life threatening for an active drinker and the affected partner. We, who end up with alcoholic partners think we love very deeply. Look at all we do, in the name of love. We very often take verbal, maybe physical abuse...	el-cee	2	448	Feb 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	The dreaded relapse (Preview) It happened. And funny how even with the alchohlic "out" of my life. I am impacted. His counselor called me to get some information about how the week was going. I told him "I don't know I asked him to move out last week", which the counselor had no idea. Hence why I'm still lis...	Crau	3	417	Feb 26, 2016 by hotrod
	Having trouble with personal decisions (Preview) I have been in a dysfunctional alcoholic marriage for so long that I am not sure sometimes what is an appropriate way of behaving and what is being selfish. I have an opportunity to take a road trip with my sister (with whom I am very close to emotionally but she is 2 states away so we don't get a lot of time t...	Bethany66	8	581	Feb 26, 2016 by maryjane
	Feeling like I'm being childish... step 8 (Preview) I know it sounds like I'm whining... I must be truthful despite my embarrassment of this trait however. I want my AH to do his step work first... he has more time in the program this time and I want HIM to make amends. He isn't. He got his one year coin and proceeded to immediately stop all meetings and...	LedfootJenny	8	647	Feb 26, 2016 by LedfootJenny
	Stopping the Insanity (Preview) I can't stop the obsessive behaviors that I've managed to have my whole life. No matter how my brain tells me to stop, my heart leads me to more and more trouble. My qualifier, who's been in recovery for 9 years, told me that I'm selfish, I only want what I want, no matter what detriment it may bring to his...	marniep222	1	223	Feb 26, 2016 by Bettina2
	When he feels guilty (Preview) I am just wondering if anyone has had this similar situation and has some good tips on how you were able to detach and not dwell. My AH who had been sober (on his own, no program) for three months had started in the past week to relapse. I knew it was coming and even though I am sad about it and disappointed, I...	CoopsMom	5	644	Feb 26, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Struggling to connect at f2f meetings (Preview) I am looking for suggestions for how to connect at face to face meetings. I hear "pick up the 1000 lb phone" and "get a sponsor" but I'm really struggling to make connections. I've attended two different groups almost every week since July. The first three months I went mostly t...	stillsmilin321	6	621	Feb 26, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/26/16 (Preview) Today's reading shares about being human, making mistakes and growing through the Al-Anon program. We are able to learn from our mistakes, and continue our growth in self-awareness as we progress in the steps. What a gift that we can own our mistakes, make amends and keep moving forward - we can cha...	Iamhere	2	549	Feb 26, 2016 by hotrod
	Issues again (Preview) "I am right where I'm suppose to "so I told my sister and she interpreted it like you mean your right where God our hp wants you to be allowing my bf to live here with me so my sister says that's wrong,which it is wrong I'm living in sin,but I am where I'm suppose to be right here living in the moment...	lookingup	3	465	Feb 26, 2016 by lookingup
	Courage To Change 25/2 (Preview) Today's C2C points out that growing up around alcoholism tends to teach us self neglect. (Boy does it ever!) The reading points out that many of us tend to push ourselves to ignore our own well being even when we are ill and simply keep on keeping on. The writer suggests that through al-anon they discove...	missmeliss	4	612	Feb 25, 2016 by KathRN
	Attention to the ABF (Preview) Just read some things on emotional blackmail on the board here and one of the things that really struck me is by listening to the ABF is I am giving him attention. By giving him attention I am saying your a great guy with great wisdom and I need to listen as I will learn something from your great wisdom that i...	joker	1	501	Feb 25, 2016 by milkwood
	2 Years pass quickly (Preview) Hi Everyone It's been a while but I'm doing good. Tomorrow will be the day my son is released from prison and I pray for him to come out ready to start a new and continued life. I am grateful for all of you that has helped me so so much....I will never forget. God bless you all and thank you ((( hugs )))	Cathyinaz	10	716	Feb 25, 2016 by hotrod
	Grieving the loss of a living addict (Preview) Hi I've never done this before so I'm not sure where I should start. I have always loved an addict from the time I was a just a young girl. My life has had numerous addicts and I have never been without trying to love one. I became really great at helping people with addiction to alcohol find sobriety. I oft...	jvbaker	6	658	Feb 25, 2016 by hotrod
	a team of people (Preview) I had been reading recovery material this morning and I had a moment of clarity. I need a team of people in my life, not one person. I need a person to do the physical things that require doing, a person to address the mental, emotional, and spiritual. I can not depend on one person to be all these things to m...	joker	2	462	Feb 25, 2016 by Freetime
	Control (Preview) I just had another moment of clarity. I was reading on fear on this board and I see that fear has kept me stuck. Fear of rejection, fear of being judged bad, fear of being alone, fear of not being loved, fear of stepping into the unknown, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough, fear of abuse, fear of t...	joker	4	501	Feb 25, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Understanding why (Preview) When I met my husband I used to ask him to protect me from her (isn't that crazy and irrational) I felt safe. This quote from a member is what I read on fear and OMG it hit me why I am still with my ABF. I am looking at him for protection, to feel safe! I am looking to my ABF to make me feel safe! I am looking to him to...	joker	0	398	Feb 25, 2016 by joker
	confused (Preview) Just wanted to share some insights and to let you all know that my daughter appears to be stabilizing on her new medication! I am so grateful! The home front appears stable with her for the moment! The nurse is coming to see her again today! The ABF drank from Thursday to late Saturday night, slept all day...	joker	3	490	Feb 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Master manipulaters (Preview) I'm finding it hard to stand up for me when it comes to the addicts in my life its like their master manipulates and blamers so therefore I'm the one ,I live with 2 addicts one being my sister and my boyfriend live here with me,and omg it gets bad I'm to blame for everything and because I'm so easy going and go...	lookingup	7	604	Feb 24, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	mentors (Preview) I just wondered if there was any kind of connecting type service with mentors here.... like people who will text and/or skype.	Rachel Blue	2	308	Feb 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Feel trapped in relationship, so depressed (Preview) Hello all, I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years now. He is my drug of choice. Currently he has been sober for 4 months, but not in any recovery or therapy. Our relationship for the past 4 months has been so chaotic. We constantly fight, almost everyday. Our fights are started by him almost 100...	sunflower22	5	2651	Feb 24, 2016 by Mattie
	Yesterday I said I felt like a sham....today I find the lesson? (Preview) So after a pretty good run of working my program and feeling pretty darn good, I was awoke at 4:30 am Monday with the feeling of something amiss in my bedroom. I had earplugs in, but I could sense a "disturbance in the force". The moon was full and so I was able to make out the shape of my AH bounc...	Bethany66	4	573	Feb 24, 2016 by Bethany66
	Hope for Today feb 23 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is a comparison between recovery and the detailed work of sewing. The writer states that before program she would be so critical of her work she would never wear it, or would be quick to point out its imperfections. The program and recovery work helped her to s...	yanksfan51	6	568	Feb 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope (Preview) for two year I was told "don't loose faith, think positive, have hope". Even when my ExAbf was taking the things out of our home and crying while playing with the dog they said "I hope to be be back here some day, hooe to have this family back" hope is a tricky thing for me now because...	Crau	3	463	Feb 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/24/16 (Preview) The C2C for today discusses the 4th Step inventory that the program suggests as part of the 12 Steps. ur fourth step inventory shows us where we have empty spaces, and what our short-comings are - just as an inventory in a retail space points out gaps on the shelf of out of stock items. The fourth step does...	Iamhere	0	495	Feb 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	You and the A are the same. (Preview) What if someone told you that you are the same as your alcoholic partner, would you believe them? I would have argued against this before alanon. Ive became aware, with amazement, that i have the disease of alcoholism, exact same disease, minus the drinking as the alcoholics in my life. I just never kn...	el-cee	12	881	Feb 24, 2016 by MeTwo2
	is al-anon for atheists? (Preview) Hello all, I am asking this question not to cause controversy but because I am very new to this whole experience. My husband is currently in detox in the hospital. The past five days have been horrible. Firstly I had no idea he was drinking this much as I am rarely home. It sounds crazy but I truly didn...	Rachel Blue	19	809	Feb 24, 2016 by MeTwo2
	just an honest share; lessening the illusion .. (Preview) Interesting when i reflect back on my life pre recovery .. I can see (and admit today) there wasn't higher power in me in truth .. there was more often than not lower power such as fear anger confusion .. wasn't until i began joining the fellowship that i began to experience occasions of higher power suc...	MeTwo2	0	477	Feb 24, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Clarifying an issue with AH and cell phones (Preview) This week an issue came up with my AH - He was upset about something and wanted to reach me. I was in a group meeting and had my phone on silent. Near the end of the meeting I checked my phone -- "Call me please, when you have a moment" was his text at 9am and one missed call. I sent a text back at that ti...	Taraxacum	4	555	Feb 23, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Guilt... guilt relationships letting go support recovery (Preview) I have incredible guilt right now for ending things with my boyfriend who was just days home from treatment. Guilt that I wasn't patient enough, that I let my emotions overshadow my ability to make a sound decsision. But he's moved out and its done. Back story at what brought me to my breaking point...	Crau	12	3439	Feb 23, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	I'm just plain tired.... (Preview) I am tired of the thoughts that constantly flow through my head about what I should have or could have done differently. I'm tired of being crippled by the obsession of needing to know what tomorrow will bring or if that one thing I did or say was the right or wrong thing. I'm tired of needing external va...	Crau	7	613	Feb 23, 2016 by Jaclyn
	Feeling like a sham (Preview) 12 days ago I posted about the peace I felt in spite of the craziness in my home. Then shit got really real last night (4:30 am) as my AH fell down stumbling to bed and gashed his head on the bedside table. Blood everywhere. Now there is no mention of the incident tonight and I am not sure if talking about it wi...	Bethany66	3	450	Feb 23, 2016 by Freetime
	fREAKIN oUT (Preview) Just did my taxes and because we got laid off and had to cash in our pensions to survive, we owe a s___ load of money to IRS. Im hoping I can work with them on payment plan. Im sooo stressed,what with having divorce papers served, dealing with home ownership transfer,my sis in law and no job. The only thing g...	YARNCRAZY	4	553	Feb 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Advice Please - Unsure how to respond to actively drinking boyfriend (Preview) Hi I'm KG and my boyfriend is in the midst of a 2 week bender. He has been in a rapid relapse cycle for the past 4 months or so, and like so many others say, he is Mr Wonderful when he is sober - I've never gotten along better with a man than I do with him. When he drinks, he becomes a belligerent arse and I want no...	Browneyedgirl66	3	583	Feb 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	getting over resentment of being the one to move out of family home (Preview) Hi all, I am really stuck. I have made progress, and am increasingly realizing how stuck I am. I moved out of my house last July, because my AH refused to go. 18 months earlier, a counselor had recommended he move out for awhile. This was before I knew he was secretly drinking - we had terrible fights an...	oceanpine	6	471	Feb 22, 2016 by a4l
	Need to air my thoughts... (Preview) I am not sure why I so strongly feel the need to post today, but I do, so here it is.My AH is retired, and 13 years older than I. We live about 17 miles from town, in a gated lakeside community. His world is very small. Mostly he works around the house on projects I wrack my brain to come up with, plays comput...	Bethany66	25	968	Feb 22, 2016 by mom 2 five
	my life is pretty much an open book... (Preview) Every since I joined Al anon I have been an open book. Sometimes I think it is due to the fact that I have this illness. Bipolar disorder. I am not a Bipolar. I have the disease. Anyhow, I realized that 30 years ago, I had an awful experience that changed my life. I am a new person w/ a new outlook on life. I actu...	Hoot Nanny	2	384	Feb 22, 2016 by Iamhere
	Here is one way the disease works in my life. (Preview) g The MIP family has known my story for a long time and that I am also a double winner; AA membership. It is frightening when the disease kicks in during very clean, clear peaceful times and demands attention. Some here know that I've been in program for 37 years and don't ever want to return to the ins...	Jerry F	3	451	Feb 22, 2016 by Katsfree
	How should I respond? (Preview) Hi. I am new here and to al-anon. I need some help as to the best way to respond in a certain situation. When he drinks he gets depressed and starts saying things, in a very casual conversational tone, like "I am contemplating the best way to kill myself", "I have checked the trusses in th...	petey49	5	488	Feb 22, 2016 by Jazzie18
	what exactly is an asset list? (Preview) I have heard it mentioned many times, but have never read an explanation of what it is. I'm guessing it is assets you have on your side, i.e. good health, resources, etc... but would love any more enlightenment, suggestions or examples. Thank you!	oceanpine	6	2048	Feb 22, 2016 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/22/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how difficult decision making is when our standards are impossible to achieve. The writer shares that he/she wanted to make decisions that would deliver exactly what was desired...or they chose to avoid making them completely. He/She learned in Al-Anon that no one ca...	Iamhere	1	355	Feb 22, 2016 by KathRN
	Drowning (Preview) Hi All - Lying in bed, miserable, haven't reached out to anyone in days - so thought I'd give this a shot. I've been through so many medical tests and doctors' appointments this week... And what am I lying here OBSESSING about? Ex-AF... Endlessly. It won't stop. I've tried listening to my Al Anon au...	Jaclyn	10	570	Feb 21, 2016 by Jaclyn
	Signs of Relapse recovery relapse family support advice spouse (Preview) My husband has been sober for 6 months and he recently admitted to having a drink because he was feeling sick and shaky. Now today I found out he has been having drinks every now and then since the first incident. He constantly says things like he's a failure with sobriety and our relationship. I really d...	Britta	11	8433	Feb 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	Does the guilt, sympathy ever go away? (Preview) I've been married to my Alcoholic for 26 years. The last 4 we have been separated. My 4 kids really prefer not to be around him. It took me years of analyzing every argument, praying for guidance, checking through my logic a million times to trust myself that it was okay to separate. It got to the point tha...	brkdrms	3	2681	Feb 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	Courage To change 21/2 (Preview) Today's reading addresses tradition 10- that al-anon has no opinion on outside issues. The reader notes that thanks to this tradition, they were able to have a close relationship with their sponsor, even though the sponsor had personal views and opinions that would ordinarily conflict with their...	missmeliss	1	408	Feb 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	small vent (Preview) I dont know if this is good or not but AH,s sister has taken over care of him and his financial picture etc. It sounds good but is awkward for me as we[sis in law] were never close at all from her choice. Now she is calling me with all kinds of questions and ideas for handling things. Im angry because where was...	YARNCRAZY	2	490	Feb 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	Doing a will - provisions for my alcoholic\addict son (Preview) I'm making some changes to my estate planning provisions - previously, I had a set up a simple three way split for my three kids - two normal kids, and my active alcoholic/addict younger son that I've shared about here before. I'm coming to feel that it wouldn't be in my younger son's best interests to j...	texas yankee	15	721	Feb 20, 2016 by texas yankee
	Lots going on .. LOL (Preview) You know I try .. lol. My job situation is not good which is actually ok. I am currently looking for another one and will need to make another leap of faith. I will miss working downtown and really would rather stay in that area .. I love it is putting it mildly. So far the purging has been 7 people in the l...	SerenityRUS	3	408	Feb 20, 2016 by OceanTide
	at least 14 in 6 hours (Preview) That's what my AH had. 14 25 oz. cans of beer at least in 6 hours. I'm sure he had more before I noticed that and he had six full cans besides that in the back of his vehicle. Buy evening he was staggering all over the place. I was waiting for him to fall so I could step over him and leave him laying there to get hi...	pixie	4	561	Feb 20, 2016 by pixie
	Living with a dry drunk - help (Preview) My A has been dry for 3 months; the alcoholic behaviors and attitudes are still here.... I am new to this group (found it just a week or so ago) and new to Al Anon... looking forward to going to a F2F meeting this week. I have learned to "detach" and walk away, find something else to do when he ac...	mom 2 five	1	490	Feb 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	alcoholic hepatitis (Preview) Hi, husband has been hospitalized for alcoholic hepatitis, almost died of acute liver failure. I'll skip out on the whole history but he tried AA before and didn't like it, just upset him more. He says he knows he can't ever drink again, and that he has no desire to drink. Therefore he hasn't accepted an...	BobbiLaila	9	512	Feb 20, 2016 by Fairlee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/20/16 (Preview) The reading for today discusses that we learn in Al-Anon that we do not have to accept unacceptable behavior! We don't have to tolerate violence or abuse and we have choices that perhaps were not readily recognizable before recovery. We can set limits that offer us guidelines without trying to con...	Iamhere	2	483	Feb 20, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	This works when we work it.... (Preview) and to be an old timer watching newcomers work it and create miracles in their lives is a gift from HP. At last nights Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG the oriental family who have been attending for about a month came back. We used the Paths To Recovery second step section...read and then share an...	Jerry F	4	639	Feb 20, 2016 by Lyne
	I'm just...... (Preview) I dont post often but I read everyday. The posts here have helped me tremendously... My AH has been "trying" to work his program since April (10 months). He suffered one relapse in August and I believe a second in October (he nevered admitted to it). I have been trying to detach as much an...	EarlyBird	7	508	Feb 20, 2016 by missmeliss
	Needs, acceptance, and loving yourself (Preview) I wanted to explore the topic of being in acceptance of others, people whom you are in romantic relationships or friendships with, and knowing what your needs are within the context of that relationship. It's something I struggle with. I have learned to accept people for who they are and I accept my...	andromeda	13	777	Feb 20, 2016 by blindsided
	Courage To Change 19/2/16 (Preview) Today's C2C discusses step 4 - "making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves" and the fact that this step can help us to finally see that we are in a state of sickness just as much as the alcoholic in our lives may be. The writer notes that they were struck by the obsessive way t...	missmeliss	1	465	Feb 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	update on my life (Preview) Update on my home situation since my last post. ABF sobered up and went back to work for 4 days. I did share with him what he had done to me while drunk-grabbing me and what I intend to do if this happens again. I was very clear that if he grabs me again while drunk, there will be no further talk, the police will...	joker	5	541	Feb 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why do I feel disloyal? (Preview) Haven't written in awhile but pop in and read posts to keep me going. I've been chugging along in my life, dealing with the good stretches and then empty promises, one step forward, two steps back. Taking care of my kids, doing my work, trying to detach like crazy in my marriage. Sometimes it works. I...	newleaf66	14	671	Feb 19, 2016 by Bettina2
	The Disease Won Again.... (Preview) I heard last night that a member from my 'other' fellowship lost her battle with the disease over the weekend. She was 50 years old, and leaves behind a child (son), a loving and supportive home group, a loving family and many who don't understand. She'd been in the program and sober for 10+ years. She...	Iamhere	20	748	Feb 19, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.