|
|
Alanon Book Excerpt & Apology
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I have had my phone turned off, so I could not post the latest book excerpt for all of you. As soon as I am able I will post the excerpts. I previously worked with a manager who touched me inappropriately and then punched me when I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with him. The fear took over an...
|
kissers
|
4
|
574
|
|
|
|
Catching UP...
(Preview)
Lots of things have happened since my last post... I will try to summarize and yet keep it short..
My husband and I began counseling. The kids and I moved back home. He has stopped drinking, he goes alone and then we go together. Then a hurricane hit Florida, and we were impacted again.. ( just da...
|
Tammy
|
8
|
284
|
|
|
|
Time bomb
(Preview)
Hi
Last night it was like Mt Saint Helen errupted here. The pressures of the holidays and the financial problems here have been getting to both the bigger kids and me.
My husband was not present, in fact we did not even talk with him yesterday. There was a series of small incidents that set me off then...
|
Jeannie
|
11
|
447
|
|
|
|
Family Teen Meetings starting again
(Preview)
Hello all in Al-Anon,
Allot of you in Al-Anon have kids that need help just like all of us in Al-Anon do. Please direct them to the Family Teen Room for the new meetings to begin again on Sunday and Thursday at 8Pm EST. The meetings are designed around the Al-Anon meetings. The meet...
|
John
|
3
|
376
|
|
|
|
Speeding ticket.....
(Preview)
some more humor for my alanon friends. We can all use a laugh. It's an oldie but a goodie
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car does...
|
bobump
|
6
|
333
|
|
|
|
Waiting for a change
(Preview)
My weekend was good. He hasn't drank in a couple of weeks but that doesn't mean he is easy to deal with. Since he doesn't drink he has a very good memory so if I do something wrong he will rember it an throw it back in my face. Which I try not to say anything. He is running out of things to talk about. I have done so...
|
nycbt
|
3
|
319
|
|
|
|
Happy Birthday John!!!!!
(Preview)
Enjoy your birthday John, take some time for yourself.
And a very special thank-you for having this board, this very special place, where miracles happen every day!
In recovery and with gratitude
Megan
|
megan
|
14
|
562
|
|
|
|
HP in action
(Preview)
My husband changed jobs two months ago after twelve years at the same company, the only job he ever had. He had two offers to choose from. One paid a little more than the other and the company had been around for close to 20 yrs. The other one was for a start up company that paid a little less and had only bee...
|
pixel04
|
1
|
469
|
|
|
|
I need a sponsor - at least temporarily
(Preview)
Is there someone with lots of Program in alanon who can sponsor me as I return to the program after 10 years away? I am looking for someone at a "live" meeting but could use some help over the next few days. And how do we even do that on here??? I'm new to this online stuff!
I would like a woman. I am a woman.
...
|
mebjk
|
2
|
386
|
|
|
|
its hard, but i will ALLOW my pain
(Preview)
allowing the pain
i had this VERY important lesson i would like to share.... i have a bad back..muscle spasms..turn the wrong way and i can feel it "tweak" and i am down for days....big knots, and pain its awful
well last night i "tweaked" my back AGAIN... in times before, i would curse my karma, cu...
|
rosie light shines
|
5
|
480
|
|
|
|
about me
(Preview)
I have a very hard time saying no. I get upset with my self for not saying no. I am how every getting better at it. For instance someone ask for me to type her paper for school and I said no in a nice way. I told her a good place to go. But if I start typing her paper it would go on for the whole time she had class. I sti...
|
nycbt
|
5
|
303
|
|
|
|
I feel powerless over my life and others too
(Preview)
I have been recently trying to figure out about my entire life, I have been trying to find reasons as to why my life has been so painful inspite of the fact that i have been blessed in many ways such as being alive ,having a daughter and family and friends who care so much about me. I have experienced pain and...
|
hopeful
|
2
|
574
|
|
|
|
trying to come back
(Preview)
Well, it has been quite a long time since I posted here. I guess that I, like my A thought I could do it on my own. Well, actually that is not true, I know that I cannot do it on my own, rather, I have just fallen back into my old self of not sharing and thinking things could just go on the way they are. So here I am ba...
|
confused
|
6
|
550
|
|
|
|
Emotionally trapped
(Preview)
I admit I am helpless - totally helpless. This is crazy to go the last two months of my life feeling this way every single morning. I cant stand waking up sick to my stomach every day anymore - the pain is so intense. I am dying inside my own emotional prison. I sleep because of sleeping...
|
Cyn
|
8
|
643
|
|
|
|
A question....
(Preview)
Hi All!
I have read in posts here of the "dry drunk" syndrome. Could someone please explain this to me. I have never heard this term before (maybe it's not a term commonly used here in Australia).
Thanks for the wonderful shares, I am learning so much!
Take C...
|
Feather
|
6
|
313
|
|
|
|
Saying the words I never wanted to say
(Preview)
Hello Roomies,
Well last night when I got home from work my "A" was not home. He had been home at some point and then left again. He did not come home last night at all. I really had wanted to go to a f2f, but I couldn't with the children. So I cleaned house, helped my 6 year old with her homework, played with t...
|
Dolphin123
|
6
|
473
|
|
|
|
Pure Love (I wrote a poem!)
(Preview)
Loving is so terrifying, makes everyone run and hide
When you can give a genuine love, most of us who are abused can't even tolerate it
Foreign it is to be accepted, adored, compassionately understood, empathathically embraced
When it is all any of us long for, just to be loved for ours...
|
kitty
|
3
|
575
|
|
|
|
nothing to say to her
(Preview)
The holidays are always a challenge, and this year is no different.
My father remains in the same fog he has been in since Thanksgiving. My mother has been on a rollercoaster of depression and anger ever since. I always waffle on what to do with the suicide threats from one or the other of them. It s...
|
pixel04
|
3
|
579
|
|
|
|
What to say at Holiday Time
(Preview)
I am seeking advice on how to handle a sister, who has been struggling with alcoholism for several years, at the holidays. Almost 2 years ago, after an intervention, my sister went to rehab and was sober for only a few months following. Things have gotten progressively worse again and now she has falle...
|
LostDux
|
6
|
727
|
|
|
|
Setting Boundaries..and having a difficult time saying no
(Preview)
Hello all...
Does this sound familiar the not being able to say no? and the difficulty of setting boundaries??
Yes this is what we are afraid of,or at least I am. I have soo much trouble saying no let it be something so little as not wanting to go to the store. I feel guilty every time I say no.w...
|
Lauren ashley
|
7
|
343
|
|
|
|
Too Much Rain - Song Lyrics
(Preview)
Hi Everyone,
I heard this song yesterday, and it just made me feel good, hopeful! Thought I would share the lyrics with you.
Laugh when your eyes are burnimg, Smile when your heart is filled with pain
Sigh as you brush away tomorrow, Make a vow, That it's not going t...
|
david62
|
2
|
414
|
|
|
|
Listening
(Preview)
I have been listening to a lot of people lately who give me different views on addicts and ACOAs and I am thankful. I feel like my HP is talking to me through them. Some of the things that people have told me (I'm writing them out because it makes me absorb them better that way):
1. He stopped...
|
Cyn
|
4
|
532
|
|
|
|
Understanding Alcoholism (some adult content)
(Preview)
I think I have a pretty good understanding of alcoholism. What I'm having trouble understanding is the "sober alcoholic," and I'm not to the point yet where I feel like I can trust my own instincts.
My boyfriend is 15 years sober, we've been seeing eachother for about 6 months. We have a...
|
Jane Avril
|
14
|
704
|
|
|
|
I read this every morning
(Preview)
A Prayer at the Beginning of the Day
O, Higher Power, allow me to greet the coming day in peace. Help me in all things to rely upon Your holy will, In every hour of the day, reveal Your will to me. Bless my dealings with all who surround me. Teach me to treat all that comes to me throughout the d...
|
kitty
|
4
|
274
|
|
|
|
I must remember Alcoholism is progressive....
(Preview)
I committed to God that I would not run away from my marraige. I promised him that I would follow what I beleive he has guided me to do. I shall ask for strength, guidance, and patience to make it through each progression of the disease.
I beleive with all my heart that God has a great...
|
captcodee
|
6
|
375
|
|
|
|
Should I take him back?
(Preview)
I am relatively new to this site. I've been tooling around the message boards and in the chat room the last several days. My husband is an alcoholic. I've never had that much of a problem dealing with it as I've been associated with one alcoholic or another my entire life. (My...
|
marie_h
|
8
|
360
|
|
|
|
What is compassion......
(Preview)
Someone shared with me today something along the lines that they felt that compassion was letting someone suffer the natural consequences of their actions, and to not do things for them that they should be doing themselves.
I liked that concept. I was curious to see what the dictionaries said.
...
|
bobump
|
4
|
2372
|
|
|
|
Need Alt Chair on Wednesdays
(Preview)
Due to an increasingly hectic schedule, I am no longer able to co-chair on Wednesday nights with my friend David. I apologize for the inconvenience, but I know that there are many members out there who are eager to provide service to the group. Thanks to one and all!
Cara ("Cabecka")
|
cabecka
|
1
|
364
|
|
|
|
Setting Boundaries (the Haxi script)
(Preview)
I don't think Haxi would mind me sharing this script here as I have it taped to my wall, folded in my prayer book... he allowed/asked me to put it in the ch rm last night, so here it is again:
6 Guidelines for Setting Boundaires
1) Have clearly defined expectations.
2) Clearl...
|
kitty
|
1
|
445
|
|
|
|
He's getting violent now
(Preview)
His drinking has escalated and he is getting violent. Is this typical progression of the addiction?
|
ditto
|
13
|
546
|
|
|
|
Just a quick thanks....
(Preview)
To those that reponded to the poem I wrote in the thread (which this post will bump to page 2 , LOL) .
I enjoy writing them, whey are part of my ESH. It's nice to have found that outlet again but even better to have people to share them with. And I really appreciate the feedback given on what you get out of t...
|
bobump
|
4
|
295
|
|
|
|
I could use some ESH
(Preview)
I have been having a lot of ups and downs. I have had a couple of good days but then the bad days overtake me. On those bad days, I have trouble applying the principles of this program, changing the old tapes to new and getting out of my own head. I become so totally overwhelmed that things become meaningles...
|
sandie123
|
8
|
542
|
|
|
|
Something wrong with chatroom??
(Preview)
I've been trying for 20 minutes to get back online - is there something wrong with the chatroom????
|
Cyn
|
2
|
468
|
|
|
|
Group Conscience Meeting
(Preview)
Group Conscience Meeting
December 7, 2005, 7pm EST
Chair: SenoraBob Co-Chair: Cabecka Secretary: David62
Agenda Items
General Opening of Meeting followed by:
Old Business
1.Approval of Minutes - November Business Meeting...
|
bob6502
|
1
|
391
|
|
|
|
winning @ losing, thanks
(Preview)
Thanks for your feedback guys... it is just so hard, seems like each week or day there is more junk I have to let go of, whether he is using or not, I don't care but knowing he doesn't love my mother & I, won't leave... goes out of town to see his g/f & she left her husband & 3 year old d...
|
kitty
|
4
|
295
|
|
|
|
Laughter to lift my mood
(Preview)
Hi roomies,
I love to laugh, and laughter is very healing for me. A good friend sent this to me, and I really needed it today! As you can tell some numbers are missing, I didn't want to offend anyone, so I deleted some. If anyone wants the full version just let me know and I will PM it to you. Hope this gives e...
|
Dolphin123
|
1
|
477
|
|
|
|
My baby is still home!!
(Preview)
My baby is still home. I haven't let him out of my sight. I'm afraid if I turn around his dad will come and grab him. I did have to stop staring at him though, he said I was giving him the creeps. He is ten and my daughter is eight. Their dad did call me and said he was taking me t...
|
Powerless
|
3
|
650
|
|
|
|
Taking time to appreciate how far we have come...
(Preview)
I got a private message from a special person today..That person got me thinking...I thought about how all of us have our issues with family,and some of us have it bad,and other have it worse,but we are all here for one reason..because we care about that a...As much as we deny it,and try to shov...
|
Lauren ashley
|
4
|
273
|
|
|
|
Im scared, in tears - cancer sucks!
(Preview)
My older brother had breast cancer 5yrs ago. Recently his calcium bloodwork came back elevated. The doctors checked with thyroid & parathyroid which came back okay. They are doing a bone scan tomorrow.
"A" husband had his left kidney removed this past August due to cancer. His ctscans showed...
|
Barbara
|
6
|
646
|
|
|
|
the continual calls
(Preview)
from my A are sad. Last night he called again. He had gone to a meeting and was feeling down about everything he has done. There was a speaker who was discussing his marriages and my A was (again) saying that he doesn't want to be one of "those" men who are on their second or third wives. (he sai...
|
Kim
|
4
|
566
|
|
|
|
Now I'm angry and frustrated
(Preview)
Today is one of those days I think I will pack a bag and move into the rooms and never leave. My step-father called me and said that my ex called him and threatened to press charges. Supposedly the school called him today and asked if it was okay for my to pick my son up and he didn't think much of...
|
Powerless
|
3
|
565
|
|
|
|
JOHN THANKS
(Preview)
JOHN THANKS SO MUCH FOR PUTTING THIS SITE TOGETHER. IT HAS HELPED ME SO MUCH. I HAVE MEET ALOT OF GOOD PEOPLE THAT HAVE HELP ME SO MUCH.
|
nycbt
|
2
|
305
|
|
|
|
Let the drinking roll off my back
(Preview)
My "a" and I finally were able to go out Saturday evening. Of course he wanted to see a band at one of the local pavillon's, I agreed because I'm trying to have more of an open mind about the things that are important to him. The band was great, I really enjoyed the music and being around people...
|
twinmom2
|
2
|
269
|
|
|
|
Digging underneath my anger
(Preview)
Hi all,
I feel I made a break through this morning with understanding what happens to me physically and emotionally when my "a" and I fight. I used the good old dictionary to differentiate between a discussion and a fight. A fight is described as a battle. I thought about this wor...
|
twinmom2
|
2
|
617
|
|
|
|
Does H in HP also stand for harmony?
(Preview)
Hello friends,
I think the founders of Alanon really knew what they were doing. Busy with step 4, I have often wondered why step 1, 2, and 3 were not 10, 11, and 12 because they were the hardest for me. In fact, I am still working on them, but decided I had to move on.
Anyway,on Step 4, I real...
|
toto12
|
1
|
265
|
|
|
|
I Hate Losing
(Preview)
This disease makes me feel liike I am losing a battle... i really hate it & it sucks.
A horrbile, trauma drama.
|
kitty
|
4
|
369
|
|
|
|
K.I.S.S.
(Preview)
"Keep it Simple, Stupid!"
I laughed when I first heard this. Then, before I knew it, it became the slogan I use every day.
I think there is a tendency to get used to the situation I am in. Like the frog that doesn't notice that the water around him is boiling - it gets hotter gradually and he doesn't...
|
pixel04
|
3
|
1739
|
|
|
|
Please take the time to check this out
(Preview)
http://i.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/2529/4candles.swf
|
txmom
|
5
|
363
|
|
|
|
Reflection on another night alone
(Preview)
Hello Roomies,
Last night my "A" went out and used, he did not come home. He went to the neighbors and was there all night. For the past few weeks he and the kids and I have been taking the bus to drop them off at daycare and then I take the ferry with him. He goes to do his job search and I walk to work. Well he ca...
|
Dolphin123
|
2
|
371
|
|
|
|
Courage to Change - Dec 5
(Preview)
"If I can't recognize the love that already exists in my life, would I really appreciate receiving more? Let me acknowledge what has already been given to me."
I work in the childrens room of our town library. The kids are always so excited. I have a few personally close kids who love coming into my off...
|
Barbara
|
2
|
487
|
|
|
|
Making it through a fight with an alcoholic
(Preview)
Hello my friends.
As you may or may not know, I am married to an active alcoholic/addict.
We both know he is, he admits it, but is unwilling to get help. Thankfully through Alanon I have the courage to change the things I can, and the serenity to accept the things I can't.
Saturday was my comp...
|
captcodee
|
6
|
350
|
|
|
|
My baby is home!!!!
(Preview)
I did it! I finally brought my baby home. I drove for an hour and a hlaf this morning with knots in my stomch, but I picked him up from school. I asked him if he wanted to return home and he said yes. So here we are. I just can't stop staring at him. I know his dad isn't just goin...
|
Powerless
|
2
|
526
|
|
|
|
My Grown Up Christmas List
(Preview)
((((Friends))))),
One of my favorite Christmas songs. If you've never heard Amy Grant sing this, it's a beauty. I remind myself that Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's are the Bermuda Triangle of the hurting heart. So I enjoy the small beauties and gifts that this season...
|
Maria123
|
5
|
384
|
|
|
|
Oil change instructions...made me laugh.
(Preview)
This is funny on soooo many levels whether you see your own behavior or that of your A's. I think it should read oil change instructions for Alanoner but I'll post as I received.
Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil cha...
|
bobump
|
5
|
346
|
|
|
|
Prayers Answered (weird story)
(Preview)
Forgive me for telling this story if you have already heard it(I think I told it in an online meeting once)---but I think it is such an amazing witness of my amazing HP.
This summer, my husband (my A) and I were at odds. He was using, unhappy, critical and just a joy to live with. One Friday nite in Augus...
|
gknee
|
6
|
520
|
|
|
|
Ignorance
(Preview)
In some ways what is currently happening in my life is a blessing. I lived my life as such a good girl, so innocent at times and believing in the good in all people. I went to a Christian HS and didnt really have my eyes open to the world of drugs and alcohol. I didnt have my first drink unt...
|
Cyn
|
4
|
310
|
|
|
|
feeling positive
(Preview)
Hi, I discovered this site about two weeks ago. I am so grateful for it, I have made 3 face to face meetings it feels good to concentrate on me for a change. My a even commented that I seem relaxed and he has no idea that I made the meetings. He's been up to his usual stuff and I feel hopeful for the first time in a...
|
liliana
|
5
|
382
|
|
|
|
I can be such a good friend.....
(Preview)
In some of my relationships it seems as I get closer, the more critical I've become. It's almost like I enter a comfort zone where I feel ok to criticize someone. I don't know why this happens short of that and it's something I need to find out some day, HP willing through working my program.
Maybe I un...
|
bobump
|
7
|
368
|
|
|
|
December 7th Group Conscience Meeting
(Preview)
Dear Friends,
We have a Group Conscience Meeting scheduled for 7pm Est on Wednesday, December 7th. As of this date our agenda is very limited. If you have issues, suggestions, ESH that you would like to have added to our meeting, please PM me either here on the message board or in the cha...
|
bob6502
|
2
|
302
|
|
|
|
prayer
(Preview)
I used to not pray about much of anything, so I was skeptical of prayer when I started this program a few years ago.
When I did decide to pray, I did so privately. I didn't want to share with anyone about my attempts to have a relationship with a Higher Power, or my attempts to let Him handle what I was t...
|
pixel04
|
3
|
279
|
|