The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Someone shared with me today something along the lines that they felt that compassion was letting someone suffer the natural consequences of their actions, and to not do things for them that they should be doing themselves.
I liked that concept. I was curious to see what the dictionaries said.
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/compassion sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=compassion Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
Then it also went on to give this def. n 1: a deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering [syn: compassionateness] 2: the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it [syn: pity]
Wow two dictionaries seemed to give the part of the definition that gives so many of us problems. the desire, want and need to alleviate it or does something about it.
At least one of the definitions left that out. It seems that we are not the only ones that feel the need so fix things and people or at least there situations. I think it may be telling that in an age of lack of personal responsibility, compassion is defined by even some dictionaries as wanting to also fix the problem.
I like the new definition I heard today better. It allows me boundries and personal space. It keeps me further from others business. I can still show understanding and sympathy. I just need to remember the serenity prayer and realize many times I need to accept those things that I can not change.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Hmmm.... had an interesting thought while reading this.... the "want, need, desire to alleviate it..." Well wondering here, when we apply the definition of compassion you were told, "compassion was letting someone suffer the natural consequences of their actions, and to not do things for them that they should be doing themselves." could we not be alleviating their pain by doing exactly that? Allowing the natural consequences to happen, therefore allowing them to hit bottom which is what is needed for one to want to find recovery, which in turn would alleviate their pain? What d'ya think?
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Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
I like that - makes the thought that I left my ex feel good for the right reasons. That I was giving him the space to do whatever he needed and that I wasnt hurting him on purpose or vice versa...thanks!
Interesting thread, of course I gotta jump in too!
I see God as the force of love. Love is the same as HP to me (this may seem odd to some, it's ok, it's my belief).
I see love as multi-dimensional, compassion, empathy as parts of it... but just like God waits on us, like a knowing loving parent, waiting on us to choose for ourselves to come from a place of surrendering our hearts, minds to God.
I guess I see compassion as loving detachment....
It is hard to watch your baby fall but that's how they learn to walk... ppl have to live & suffer the consequences or it's true, we don't grow.
my 2 cents, love, -K
-- Edited by kitty at 16:53, 2005-12-07
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
quote: could we not be alleviating their pain by doing exactly that? Allowing the natural consequences to happen, therefore allowing them to hit bottom which is what is needed for one to want to find recovery, which in turn would alleviate their pain? What d'ya think?
So true, but most of us don't understand that before Recovery. At least I get that feeling from alot of the shares.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
