The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have a very hard time saying no. I get upset with my self for not saying no. I am how every getting better at it. For instance someone ask for me to type her paper for school and I said no in a nice way. I told her a good place to go. But if I start typing her paper it would go on for the whole time she had class. I still am working on not wanting people approval that still hard an I am dealing with it.
I was abused as a child so I too suffer. I also suffer from depression for aloto reason though. Some because I was adopted to great people but didn't grow up with my brother and sister. The other is I suffer from ADHD that cause the depression to. The help of this group and meds have help me over come alot of things I would have overcome. I sent up a nice support system which also helps me with my depression.
In 10 years I hope to be much stronger then I am now. I am getting very strong at this time from a month so in 10 I am going to be even stronger. I don't know if I will be with my husband because if he doesn't want help i don't think I could live with his alchol or drug problem for the rest of my life.
It is hard to let go and let god. I am working on this one. I know when I can let go life will be easier. It is good to be able to let go of all the abuse but at this time I really haven't dealt with it.
I also need to be proud of the things that I have done. Like standing up for myself. Not giving my husband the key back.
__________________
Hey everyone watch me grow. I go thru good & bad times. each day i am getting stronger.
All I can say is me too. This came up in my step meeting yesterday. It came up in Lauren's post below, and the Step Board is on Step 1 so I wrote about it there too. LOL
It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this and that it's a common alaoner problem that we have to face.
Bob
__________________
You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
You're doing sooo good. Everytime you post I think the same thing. You're making great progress and your independence is growing by leaps and bounds!!
from my daily reader..
Today, I will pay particular attention to the accomplishments of other women, those close to me and those I read and hear about. I will believe their example and feel the forward push.
Today, You are one of those women...Thanks
Love ya Christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Wow, from reading this post and your waiting for a change post you are opening up a lot- speaking with such honesty. I am so glad to hear of your progress and even nicer that you see it too - the positive changes within you. Thank you for these heartfelt shares. Lots of well wishes, tracey
"I have a very hard time saying no" - "I was abused as a child so I too suffer" - "I suffer from ADHD that cause the depression too" ((( NYCBT )))
These words you said, I know I chopped them but they really effected me. I never knew ADHD caused depression. My mother has it, was also severely abused as a child & has the syndrome of wanting to be Superwoman & never saying no.
It's like she wants to be able to do everything.
I have suffered for her condition, in different ways, she doesn't want to face her feelings, she does talk about how easy it is for her to "give into the depression if she doesn't constantly fight it" but I had no idea that ADHD was also a cause.
I know it runs in the family - depression - as well as other "mental illness" or maybe just being abused so much, it is a way of the pyshe to deal with such things. Like being ACOA or OCD, I have talked about feeling suicidal & depressed for years, it would drive her crazy, both of our IQ's being high & she wants "everything to be perfect" ~ talking about depression (which is a mental illness) would just make her insane.
I would never want to hurt her, it is hard to deal with, not really being able to get her to understand me, compassionately... she just doesn't sit still long enough. I would do anything to ease her pain, I guess me working my own program, although at times she resents the time I am spending on the computer & crying out for me to 'do this & that for her' I can't even keep up with my own life. In fact, I haven't had a life in forever... I have sacrificed myself for my family all of my 37 years.
I wasn't much of a people pleaser but when it came to her, I was & surely am still so co-dependently ill. I tell her we have ACOA patterns & she can't hear it - swears her mom wasn't an A but she (again) never wants to face her own feelings... always having to "accomplish something" to feel her own worthiness.
I guess I ought to see her like a little baby & forgive her, as a helpless little precious soul, that like me just wants love.
I appreciate your post, made me consider my mom a little differently.
love, -K
__________________
Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
