I don't think Haxi would mind me sharing this script here as I have it taped to  my wall, folded in my prayer book...  he allowed/asked me to put it in the ch rm last night, so here it is again:

6 Guidelines for Setting Boundaires

1) Have clearly defined expectations.

2) Clearly defined consequences that do not disrupt your own serenity.

3) Set them clearly.

4) Communicate them clearly.

5) Enforce them consistently.

6) Without regard for the relationship

Thanks Haxi... 

#6 was hard for me to grasp with regard to my own mom, so I had to add:  Release any expectations, that seemed to help my grasp 6, better.